Im in love with this country and its history since childhood.
Visiting it I got to know much good and interesting to raise my knowledge, open mind and education.
While visiting it I met an interesting people whith who were really lovely and sincere and told me much about culture and life-style of this country too.
Of course I got much info from message-boards before. And have never been to boards of this kind where people talk about ---- thier relations.
And have discovered that man I was with for very long time and whom loved very much and trust absolutely - sometimes I see his name on the boards as requests .... they know him too...they ask about him,,, about him,,,
He asked me for many times not to have anybody in my country, to be honest...As doesnt accept relation where there are more than 2 persons involved...And I did. And wait for him.. And what I got...His name on boards...
As result I got to know that he try to get in touch to others and - maybe living "normal"!!!??? resort life....Very difficult to trust
But I got to know it after monthes of really clean heart from side and sweetest dreams i have ever had...
What is it ? Lie? He told he hate to lie?
But after one year I got to know he has a doughter. Is it lie or not?
Several times he closed and opened again. Im love one month I can be friend -other, sister - third, love - fourth again... He hurt my heart till the end...
I didnt undertand untill opened such forums in the net.
WHat is going wrong...in this life?
WHo is he - I dont really know..Is it egyptian culture or his internal problem.. Or maybe he is in love with me while he has nobody on the beach, than start to contact whith someone else, and close me... Than open again...
What is going on in this world...What is going wrong with cultures and moralities... We don`t dream about it, we are not looking for it, and we got it.Why do we speak different languages...
Who has the right to make us crying?
Nobody worth our tears, and who worth that have never made us to cry.
To be brutally honest, the only way a scum bag deserves is: the garbage, the incinerator, the dump way!
Never look back.
Life is beautiful, just move on and away from 'resort guys' anywhere in the world, and you'll see!
Egypt is an amazingly magical country, discover its real beauty through its history, and its extremely rich culture that encompasses the cultures of the world!
BUT.. please stay away from the HELP!
Best wishes, Monica
[This message has been edited by Monica (edited 22 December 2003).]
posted
[Hello Omnia, it is a pity to hear your story. Why don't you tell his name and working place to avoid, that other women are treated to what happened to you ? Take care and Merry Christmas Jasmin Posts: 1 | From: germany | Registered: Dec 2003
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quote:Originally posted by jasmin: [Hello Omnia, it is a pity to hear your story. Why don't you tell his name and working place to avoid, that other women are treated to what happened to you ? Take care and Merry Christmas Jasmin
Unfortunately I cant. I stil love him. But Im really sorry about other girls.
PEACE, i found this site while looking for something else, it is very interesting that my sisters are writing for advice but not taking it, i love egypt as a matter of fact intsha Allah i would love to retire there, i met my ya habebe in egypt in 1995 being muslimah, meeting a man was the last thing on my mind, i went to see the country with my girlfriends, it was breathtaking to ride around cairo, shop and took a cruise down the nile. then i returned and drove down to dahab for new years, another trip stayed in zamalik, mohaddissen in very nice apartments,and then my fourth or fifth trip i married my nubian prince and stayed in an apartment overlooking the pyramids, went to the beach in alexander,that was my the beginning of my downfall because i should have married a king instead, he was 14 years younger than i and a virgin and we had to get permission from his father but mind you this is a year later,our trips were accompanied by a married couple. so my advice to you is to go slow and get to know him and his family first and if he does not let you meet his family you are already in trouble, would love to talk to you somemore, peace, queen
Hi dears
Im in love with this country and its history since childhood.
Visiting it I got to know much good and interesting to raise my knowledge, open mind and education.
While visiting it I met an interesting people whith who were really lovely and sincere and told me much about culture and life-style of this country too.
Of course I got much info from message-boards before. And have never been to boards of this kind where people talk about ---- thier relations.
And have discovered that man I was with for very long time and whom loved very much and trust absolutely - sometimes I see his name on the boards as requests .... they know him too...they ask about him,,, about him,,,
He asked me for many times not to have anybody in my country, to be honest...As doesnt accept relation where there are more than 2 persons involved...And I did. And wait for him.. And what I got...His name on boards...
As result I got to know that he try to get in touch to others and - maybe living "normal"!!!??? resort life....Very difficult to trust
But I got to know it after monthes of really clean heart from side and sweetest dreams i have ever had...
What is it ? Lie? He told he hate to lie?
But after one year I got to know he has a doughter. Is it lie or not?
Several times he closed and opened again. Im love one month I can be friend -other, sister - third, love - fourth again... He hurt my heart till the end...
I didnt undertand untill opened such forums in the net.
WHat is going wrong...in this life?
WHo is he - I dont really know..Is it egyptian culture or his internal problem.. Or maybe he is in love with me while he has nobody on the beach, than start to contact whith someone else, and close me... Than open again...
What is going on in this world...What is going wrong with cultures and moralities... We don`t dream about it, we are not looking for it, and we got it.Why do we speak different languages...
Who has the right to make us crying?
Nobody worth our tears, and who worth that have never made us to cry.
Omnia
Posts: 7 | From: conway,sc usa | Registered: Dec 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Omnia, your story is so sad. Nothing hurts as much as a broken heart. Do not feel alone - it has happened to many of the girls who post here. Many of the guys working in the resort areas have little to look forward in their futures - and see the tourists as a possibility to improve their lifestyle - either thru a visa, money or sex. And no, it isn't right or moral - and many get hurt because of their actions. Try to be glad that you aren't married to this guy because that would be a real nightmare. He lies, cheats and has kids he didn't even mention. See him for what he really is and chalk it up to experience. There is one special guy out there (maybe even in Egypt) waiting especially for you. When the time is right you will meet him - and he will fulfill all your dreams without making you cry. Yes, it will hurt now and for a long time - but sunshine always follows the rain; and you know and the rest of this forum knows - you deserve far better than what this guy has to offer. He is the Loser.
Posts: 49 | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged |
Im in love with this country and its history since childhood.
Visiting it I got to know much good and interesting to raise my knowledge, open mind and education.
While visiting it I met an interesting people whith who were really lovely and sincere and told me much about culture and life-style of this country too.
Of course I got much info from message-boards before. And have never been to boards of this kind where people talk about ---- thier relations.
And have discovered that man I was with for very long time and whom loved very much and trust absolutely - sometimes I see his name on the boards as requests .... they know him too...they ask about him,,, about him,,,
He asked me for many times not to have anybody in my country, to be honest...As doesnt accept relation where there are more than 2 persons involved...And I did. And wait for him.. And what I got...His name on boards...
As result I got to know that he try to get in touch to others and - maybe living "normal"!!!??? resort life....Very difficult to trust
But I got to know it after monthes of really clean heart from side and sweetest dreams i have ever had...
What is it ? Lie? He told he hate to lie?
But after one year I got to know he has a doughter. Is it lie or not?
Several times he closed and opened again. Im love one month I can be friend -other, sister - third, love - fourth again... He hurt my heart till the end...
I didnt undertand untill opened such forums in the net.
WHat is going wrong...in this life?
WHo is he - I dont really know..Is it egyptian culture or his internal problem.. Or maybe he is in love with me while he has nobody on the beach, than start to contact whith someone else, and close me... Than open again...
What is going on in this world...What is going wrong with cultures and moralities... We don`t dream about it, we are not looking for it, and we got it.Why do we speak different languages...
Who has the right to make us crying?
Nobody worth our tears, and who worth that have never made us to cry.
Omnia
Read this and you will know:
Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives. Stupid Attachment Stupid Courtship Stupid Devotion Stupid Passion Stupid Cohabitation Stupid Expectations Stupid Conceptions Stupid Subjugation Stupid Helplessness Stupid Forgiving
This book is difficult to read. You may get angry. You may get hurt. But it is realistic and written in what we have come to know as &quo;Dr. Laura style." Blunt? yes. But undeniably honest. Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives is a hard-hitting, honest look at the troubles endured by nearly one half of all Women...
quote:Originally posted by Sting: Read this and you will know:
Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives. Stupid Attachment Stupid Courtship Stupid Devotion Stupid Passion Stupid Cohabitation Stupid Expectations Stupid Conceptions Stupid Subjugation Stupid Helplessness Stupid Forgiving
......
I dont like to waste my time on reading books of this kind - Im profeccional phsychologist ^)
posted
dear monica i am new to this site, and in the same situation as many girls, i have read many of ur amswers, and u seem very clued up on the culture and ways in egypt, i would like ur advise i am involved with the manager of a hotel in sharm, how do i know if he is for real, or do i just stop it now, and reduce the risk to myself, we have been together a year, and it seems to me i will never know if he is for real or not, i am very confused and dont know what to do or think, i am yet to find out anything bad, but i read all the notices here and it seems they r all bad. i have not met his family, he lives and works in sharm, as i write it all seems so predictable, he has never made any promises, asked for money, or used the lines i here them say here, so how will i know, please please help
Posts: 6 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Good Afternoon moni, and thank you so much for your trust, I hope I can help!
Hey...maybe I should change my profession just kidding!
I understood from your post that you are in doubt. My question is : WHY?
Do you feel your 'habibi' is not sincere? or is he fooling around with other people/tourists? or does he avoid you and makes up excuses not to be with you? or is it only the fact that he made no promises? or is he the style that says everything but : 'I love you'? or maybe he says 'I Love you' too many times?
Did you ask him about his future intentions about your relationship? What are yours? do you want to marry him, or just keep what you've got?
He could be the best man in the world, the most loving the most adorable, the most sensitive, but if there's no clear and direct communication between the two of you, one will have 'anxiety attacks'at one point, so to speak, and guess who will that be!? In certain cases Egyptian men get anxious, yes...I know ...but in general it's the women who feel they are left in the dark, and can't go on, and anxiety becomes part of their life.
Also, is he 'religious' or very traditional in his behaviour with you? what is his educational background? Does he show the signs of a 'double standard' that is about to attack? is he kind of a dictator and you wonder how you will survive that? Why haven't you met the family?
Let's look at it in a very positive way, if everything seems great, then no need to worry in advance, but if you feel you are at a turning point in your life, and need an answer on what to expect from him for the near future, just ask him. Culture or not - some do hide behind the culture to avoid certain things or to justify certain things -the best way is HONESTY!
Based on his answers, you will be able to decide what you want to do with this relationship.
An important fact: based on my personal experience and my circle of family and friends, I garantee you that decent, intelligent Egyptian men, appreciate honesty very much! If you are 100% honest and he does'nt like it, then say bye bye! And, DEMAND honesty in return. Let's see what happens!
By the way, there are quite a few EXPERTS - men and women - on this board, and I hope they share their views too, and maybe add a few questions to get you going a bit more !
Most importantly, WHY are you in doubt?
Best regards, Monica
[This message has been edited by Monica (edited 03 February 2004).]
posted
dear monica, thanx so much for ur reply, believe me i have asked myself all these questions time and time again, i go round in circles, the more i read here the more confused i get.# no he never avoids me, but i live in london and he lives in sharm, r story is tryical of all the others i read, on paper even as i type i find myself thinking, if i was a good friend giveing me advise i would say i am insane, egyptian, lives in tourist town, fresh girls of the plane every week. it started as fun, casual, easy for me to do that, i am english, but i realize more and more that no respectable egyptian would do this. anyway, i vivit, he works in a hotel, i know all his friends and work mates, and english boss who is female, he is the manager, he taked time off when i visit, we talk alot about r differences, he expreces concern himself we both r confused, the thing is when i think about asking his intentions, i know i have to ask myself the same, am i ready for a commitment that would mean going there perminantly, i have a carrees here, a home, a, family, everything. this is why i am reluctant to question more, becoz what r my intentions, if he said i want to marry u, i know i am not ready for that, all we both say is lets take time, but is this code on his part for, ill shag u when i can but have a wife and kids in cairo. i feel like a detective, analyzing everything. i know we talk almost every night for 7or 8 hours online, i know he works hard long hours every day, does he have the time to fool around. i know u r right, i hate myself for askin u guys and not him, i guess im scared to bring the whole thing to a head. some of the stories i read, i think that could be my guy, easy. how will i ever know. i think i am ready to face reality, but am i ready to make such a commitment if asked for. finally it comes down to i've slept with him, and no egyptian man would do that if it were real, but it started as fun, and now seems so much more. anyway, so sorry to write a book, lol would appreciate ur and anybody elses input, am so glad i found this site. maybe what we need to do is start naming names, see who is cheating, im sure the same guys will come up time and again. i know what they r like, i watch afriend of his, who is married, with a different girl eveytime i am there, i see it with my own etes, but do i see me guy through rose coloured specs??????
------------------ moni
Posts: 6 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2004
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If in your heart you need to hear that he is probably ok, and you might be one of the lucky ones, sorry to disappoint you but I don't trust easily, especially not in the tourism sector. I suggest you read the thread 'Bursting your bubble' by Ashkar, it says it all!
Let's assume that he has a wife and kids in Cairo, while he is entertaining himself with you online, and when you visit, will you feel cheated and hurt and broken hearted and move on? Then please, pretend he does and just move on!
UNLESS, you don't really care about where this is going, because you are set at home, and all you want is a good time, then it's your decision!
I just remembered a very important thing: A lot of Egyptian/Middle Eastern PEOPLE justify the fact that they are having 'intimate' relations - out of guilt that is - by stating that it's probably LOVE and it seems to be really different, and it's not only sexual etc...etc... Bottom line, that's a load of crapola!
An honest decent Egyptian man, would make you feel secure from the beginning of the relationship, if real feelings were involved.
Don't forget to read Bursting your Bubble! Best wishes Monica
quote:Originally posted by moni: ill shag u when i can but have a wife and kids in cairo.
Did he really say that? How embarrassing.
Just for this I would stop seeing / writing to him altogether.
Moni, this "offer" is beyond a lady's dignity to accept. It puts you in a debasing position. Can't you see it?
You may not be able to stop THINKING about him for a long time, he was probably bewitching and you may hurt like hell for a while. But time heals all wounds, it really does.
Please treat yourself with respect and find someone who will be yours 100%. You deserve that. We all deserve that.
posted
I think his behaviour is typical for a resort boy. They know how to make a woman belive she is so special. That's why it is very difficult to belive he lied all the time. Even if they lie and are cought on this lie they will deny, or even try to blame a woman. They just cant accept that they are bad and their behaviour is not good. I am talking about resort egyptions only. They lie like they breath. It is surprising for us how it can be but for them it is already a way of life. At least a way of communication with turists. Or do u really think if he is an attractive young man, who is working in such places like Sharm and Hurgada (or other resorts), in a place where there are usually lots of beautiful turists from many countries, many of whom are ready to have just fun, and he will reject all their offers and will be faightful to one woman who visits him once in 2 month (it is not the worst case). Off course for young man it is a big temptation. And even those of them who was very "good boys" in the biggining becomes players in the end. I also was in love with one of such guys. And it was very difficult for me to belive that all his words were just a lie. It was difficult to belive it especially remembering his smile and the expression of his eyes. But it is a fact he lied. And I have already heard lots lots of stories from girls, who in the beginning of our communication tryed to prove to everybody that their boys are "not like all the other". However, in the end in the majority of case it turned to be the opposite. Spome of such girls brake up with these boys and the rest continue the relationsheep knowing the truth.
Posts: 287 | From: Moscow Russia | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by moni: i have not met his family
That is the biggy as far as I am concerned. In Egypt you do not marry a man you marry a family. If you have not meet them then you have not meet 99% of what matters to him in his life. His most important female relationship all his life will be his mother.
In Egypt if you have a row then the wife goes back to her family home and uses her father/male guardian to sort things out with her husband. My husbands uncle saod to me one day that he would do this if there was ever a problem between me and Mahmoud. that is how important I am to the family.
My behavourour reflects directly on them so I behave exactly as my husband asks so that I don't damage their reputation and stop my sister in laws getting married. Yes it can be that heavey.
But that is because i am a part of the family. When I married Mahmoud it was open and above board, everyone knew about it. His friends, his mother, his siblings his uncles.
There are so many women who I have seen both online and in real life being deceived and the deceipt is mainly on their part. there are loads of warning bells and they ignore then. they are so 'in love' but with what. A product of their imagination not the real man. They have no clue about him. And they don't seem to want to. They prefer to stay in their dream world.
Please look up about marriage to Egyptians and see what it means and then look at your relationship and compare. Is there any of the respect he ought to show you, that he would show an Egyptian girl (That he probably shows his Egyptian wife who is sitting at home with the kids)
So enjoy a holiday romance if you will but don't think it means more than it does.
------------------ UK Co-owner of www.toursinluxor.co.uk Accommodation and Tours in Luxor
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