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Yes yes yes yes, am so excited!!! Haha sorry all just bursting at the seams with the happiness of returning and being near my love. Just a month to go, it always seems that every time i get ready to come back i end up being elated and giddy, and well as people i work with describe me I act as if im a highschool girl in love. Any way, anyone else coming to egypt in February too??? Im taking a new airline this time, hope i didnt choose badly, going through American Airline and connecting in Germany onto Lufthansa... then my return will go through london on British Air... I think i'm more excited each time i go than the last.
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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Hi, mysticheart, I thought you both broke it off? Anyway, have a wonderful trip, spend an unforgetable time with your sweetheart and finally, please figure things out how you both can enjoy each other in ONE place for good. How do you do it, how do you keep up all the good spirits?
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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i think i had put in another post what happened and how we got back together,,, basically he was trying to do what he thought was best for me, to set me free to find one here to marry because i do so want to marry. But i want that with him, only him. When he saw that i was truly unhappy without him and unwilling to accept any other man in my life, and being as unhappy as he was, he came to me and said he had made a mistake. I gave him a hard time for a few days but in my heart i knew i was going back to him. How could i not...As things are now there is no way for us to be in one place together, he has his parents to care for there, i have my children to care for here, he doesnt want to live in the states and i cant blame him, most times i dont even want to be here but my children hold me here...they have to come first. How do i keep my spirits so high??? Prayer,.. talking to him, faith in his words,, and the experience of being with him and without him over the past 3 and half years enough to know that without him i will never be happy, even when i was engaged to another man my heart knew its place.... and it screamed at me wishing that man i was to marry was my love. So i have just come to accept that if i want him in my life at all this is what it must be... for the time.Its mainly his words to me and the feeling i get when i ask god for guidance that makes me able to do this. Many times i have prayed for guidance to know what is the path to take, and every time i am led to my love.
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Hi, I'm new here and had done a lot of reading because my friend's daugther is going to Cairo in Feb also to meet her boyfriend. She is going in the end of the nonth for 2 weeks. When and where are you going?
Maria
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by santanesia: Hi, I'm new here and had done a lot of reading because my friend's daugther is going to Cairo in Feb also to meet her boyfriend. She is going in the end of the nonth for 2 weeks. When and where are you going?
Maria
Don't tell me this is the first time meeting her boyfriend.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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Hi Sonomod, YYEESSS, we a very worried!!! She has been talking to him by webcam and phone for 9 months. She borrow money to get the tickets(that will be the first time shw will leave the state that she lives). She says that she already talk with his mother and so. She is not a musslim, is 27yrs old and has three kids(8,7,6) from a previous relationship. I have been reading this site almost the whole day And as more that I read more worried we get. Any advices? Maria
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by santanesia: She says that she already talk with his mother and so. She is not a musslim, is 27yrs old and has three kids(8,7,6) from a previous relationship.
Well as soon as I post this you will get a flood of pms (private messages) and posts to this thread indicating that I am a liar.
Muslim men won't marry a infidel whose already have children with another man, even moreso if they were out of wedlock.
It would be a marriage of convenance and she wouldn't be able to see that.
But let her go to Egypt, she sees a little bit of it and it might change her mind.
And if his mother knows about her age and children then she is in on the scam too.
Sorry it doesn't look good. You have my sympathes.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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Santanesia (Maria) you already asked for advice on the virtualtourist.com too, right? You and the mother of this woman should be more than worried. This 27-year-old mother of three needs to grow up than chasing after an Ali Baba without knowing anything about this man or his cultural background. Big mistake I say! I would care less about her fate if there weren't any little children involved who need her more than ever after the failure of her previous relationship. That she had to borrow money to get her way and fly off to Egypt to marry this man is not a good sign. I'd even say irresponsible.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Tigerlily, I left my password at work and could not replay till today. Yes , I ask for help in VT also, I love that site and trust people there very much and I can see that I can trust this site also. I did a lot of reading and have to thank everybody for such a great site. I learn a lot about Egypt and my husband and I may visit next year. I'm from Brazil and since I was a child I wanted to go. I whish the best for everybody's relationship and life. My friend had said everything that she can for her daugther with no vail. I think that if my friend goes with her , at least she would... I don't know. He is 22 yrs old and studying to be an economist but doesn't have his military papers yet. My friend came to me because she knows that my husband and I travel a lot and that I am on the net quite a lot(we work together) and she is very limited with computers. Her daugther alredy was in a abusive relationship. Thank you all. I will read some more. We send the link with this website for her to see if she can be more aware. Maria
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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Fatia, I would love to have aa advice for you, but I'm not a muslim and don't know much about the rules.
I just think that in any relationship you have to be at least confortable with what it stands for.
How old are your kids? Are they ok with the situation? I will pray with you. Maria
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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Fatia, I'm sorry you have experienced this kind of deception. Your husband should have been up front about your children to his family. They are the biggest part of your life and should not be kept a secret. You having children from a previous marriage is nothing for him to be ashamed of. I'm also divorced and have 2 beautiful sons from this previous marriage. My husband's family knew about them from the beginning. When I finally met his family shortly before we were married it was confirmed that yes, they infact did know about them. His sister told me in a private conversation how much my husband loves my sons and how much he talks about them. I guess I'm lucky in that respect. Are your children Muslim? I supposed I have it easier because I'm Muslim (11 yr revert) and my children are Muslim. Talk to your husband about this and basically inform him that if he doesn't fess up about the kids that you will. About your husband being unaffectionate I guess that has to do with his personality. Talk to him about this, maybe he's just not an affectionate guy. My ex wasn't affectionate at all and although I got used to it I always felt bad about it. Alhamdulillah my current husband is very affectionate and loving and isn't afraid to show it even in front of family.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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Mysticheart, I'm happy to hear you patched things up with your man. How exciting for you to be going back to Egypt! Maybe a wedding in the future? I'll pray for you. Best wishes!
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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YIKES! I'd seriously rethink this whole thing if I were you. Sorry you have to go through this. Your husband doesn't sound very commited or even decent. Sorry.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by artisha: Thanks for your replies. To answer some of your replies my children are 5 and 9 still in primary school. My husband has made many excuses about not telling his family and then he has told me he has informed his parents. I dont know what to believe really. He asks questions like when the children grow up when do they live home,or I can come and live with him in Egypt but the children it would be difficult because of where he lives and works. My husband has children from a previous marriage to Egyptian wife and he divorced her. I have not met his children. He has three girls under the age of 12. He moans about my children all the time, but i also know he can be affectionate towards them. He never shouts, argues,aggressive with the children. IBut i just cant understand what the big deal is. My children are my life and i love them more than my husband. When we went away recently to Dubai he brought money with him from Egypt and he spent it on goods just for him and then he did not have any money for the rest of our stay. He left me there after a few days because we had a minor disagreement. I did not know where he was. I thought he actually went to stay in another hotel or something for the night until things calmed down. Few words were exchanged between us in this disagreemnet, and i kept quiet there after because i didnt want a heated argument. My husband attracts attention to himself from other females and i found it very humilating. When we were in Egypt he never behaved like this and was always courtious and respectful to me in front of his family and when alone. I did not realise after that arguement he left Dubai he told me he was leaving but i thought like i said before to another hotel to calm down not leave the country and return to Egypt. He left me and the kids in Dubai by ourselves for the next 10 days.I was amazed. I cried and was horrified. Of course we made up but he blamed me and was insistant that i made he do that. There's no discussing things with him, because in some things he feels he is always right. There are issues and will always be issues but i feel its how we resolve them. And i found out my husband still trails the internet looking for a wife. He finds single available womena nd they send him photos and he promises to go and visit them and he never does because he is always in Egypt. We speak to each other everyday, sometimes 3 times a day. By email or phone calls or text message. I make the effort for contact more than him. I get this feeling the relationship is one sided and i make the effort more than him. I am also doing his visa appeal here and paying for in running into hundreds of pounds, but i am not sure if he is worth it until he can prove to me he wants this marriage forever. Thanks for now Fatia
Why didn't you marry a Muslim in UK or a British revert like yourself?
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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Fatia, I decided to voice my opinion even though I'm not a muslim, but as a woman. I read your two post 2 or three times trying to find one frase that would indicate that at least one little part of this relationship is good for you, but I could not find... I understand that you love this man, but I think that you should start to give yourself some love too and get stronger for your sake and for your kids. I don't know if one of your kids is a girl or not , but would you like her to have a husband like that? Do you have any family around you? Friends? Please don't fill so lonily. I'm sorry you are going through that, I don't think that anybody deserves that, it is a form of abuse , I think! Start to say 'I' not 'i', get bigger, you ougth to yourself and to your God.
Just think about, no companionship, no affention, outburst all the time, just leaving you alone an still loking for somebodyelse? I don't care how old he is but he needs to do a lot of groing up and, sincerilly and don't think that you can afford to wait for that. Find yourself a good muslim 'Man' not a 'Peter Pan'. Just get yourself stronger by yourself first. Sorry if I was too harsh. Let me if I can help. Maria
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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I think we were posting at the same time, because as soon I went to post it I saw your replay. I'm not taking out anything that I said before, but I think that you have to forgive yourself for having tha children out of the weddlock and find somebody that will accept you and enbrace you.
If your children were born, it was with your God permission also.
I got married at age 33 , and my hubby was 42, 12 years ago, it was the first marriage for both of us.We try to get pregnant for years, inumerous tries and procedures, finally I told my hubby that I didn't think that God want us to have children and we accepted the fact.So I think that God aloud out to have then, so respect His decision too and look for the best for them. I understand that is hard to find a good mste, but with 'time' and 'patience'you can get there.
A meal at McDonalds can be very fast but not as satisfying as a fresh cooked meal that takes longer to make. Maria
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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ooook, well, Santanesia, please let her go and find out for herself because contrary to popular belief a muslim man will marry an "infidel" that has children of another man. Do not be afraid for her, she has taken time to talk to him over months and months, she will learn of his true nature when with him, Instead of being afraid, encourage her to meet with him, tell her to ask many many questions and find out his intentions with her. Be sure he is willing to take her to his parents to meet them if he is wanting a relation with her, tell her to have a wonderful time. My man is muslim, we once were engaged and we did not end things because i am not muslim and i have 3 children and i am now almost 32, i was 28 when i met him.Sooo my situation sounds very similar, and the man i met is the best thing that ever happened to me, so be happy for her. Madame Mohamed thank you soo much and i am very happy at the moment and though we have not agreed to marry yet (again as we were once engaged before)there is a very strong feeling it is heading in that direction for a number of reasons, one being he talks with his parents of me very often, actually daily. And its just a general feeling of things strengthening between us.... Hope all find the contentment i feel in returning to egypt and being with the man that holds my heart. hugs to all
posted
Fatia, Fatia, Fatia, girl, you need to come over for tea. You know, in reading between the lines, I am also not hearing how great this guy is. It sounds like you are a little scared maybe to admit the truth, and looking for a good girlfriend to tell you want you don't want to hear. This guy does not sound good for you. With his behavior, I would be really wondering if he has another wife somewhere. Ay. Also, the prophet Mohammed, peace be upon him, only married one virgin in his life. Also, when you reverted to Islam, you didn't just understand your wrongdoing from the past. You were forgiven your sins before you were moslem by Allah. Someone correct me if I'm wrong? So where is your fault? By reverting to Islam you did something so good for Allah, something of great sacrifice that not even the coveted Islamic virgin can claim. You deserve better. So you DO NOT deserve this treatment from this guy. You DO NOT deserve this response from your Imam. I would get another Imam very quickly. I wish you luck and clarity. If you need to bring him to UK, live with him and see it through, then so be it. I hope it works out for you.
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
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Mysticheart, I know I sound very intense, and probabilly I am but I'm very happy about it. That how I conduct my life. I'm not holding anybody, just expressing my opinion and I' intitle to it because I was asked.
I hope you the best in Egipt. My friend leaves on feb-17 and will be in Cairo on the 18th.
QueeBee, You are a very wise woman and have a great way to express it. Your friens and family should be very blessed to have you. Maria
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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Santanesia, Thank you for your comments. I feel no way about having children out of wedlock and not being married' so what, i have nothing to forgive because that was in the past and i dont dwell on the past. I look towards the future. My husband does not know that i know about him registering with muslim martial websites, the reason i know because i have access to his email accounts. Very decietful you may think but i gave him my email passwords when we first met and he give me his. Knowing my husband he has deleted my password and i have saved his.
About your friend if she going to Egypt to be with this man she will do so one way or another and it wont make a blind bit of difference what you say to her. She may make her decision to marry him whislt she is there. But there is still nothing you can do. Its very hard for someone in love not to do what they want to do, i dont think you can encourage her not to go because her minds made up. Oh and Santanesia i am happy to hear that you have a happy marriage and a man you can trust, but i am sure you both had to work at the relationship. You paint a picture of good understanding between your husband and you, but i get the feeling you had to work at it and its not as easy as it may seem. Hope you can understand i am just being honest and no intention of hurting anyone else's feelings, so just bear with me please......
Queenbee Yeah i would love to have tea with you! and to answer does my husband have another wife that's a big no no no no no. I have all the papers for divorce translated in English and papers for marriage translated in English. He is only married to me. Oh and just to put it ito perspective it did not matter to my husband or me that my children were born out of wedlock, i think maybe you misunderstood. What i was trying to say is that he accepted me for that although the Iman said it would be difficult to find a husband to marry me because of this reason. In reading between the lines maybe you are right and i have not seen many good things in this man but i have also been too critical about him. I think this is the problem and the fact i dont live with him so i cant get to know him more. I think i will give him the chance he deserves. I also feel he can be very laid back almost lazy because Egypt is so relaxed and where as i have been making all the effort for contact and email etc, i think sometimes one can assume it is a male thing and they just dont phone and write like women do. All i know is that i miss him dearly. My husband is a very reserved person and so am i. I dont have someone to confide in so felt this was the place i could confide in others that would give me their honest opinions. I am not looking for someone to make my descions for me cos i know i have to make them on my own.
Thanks again for all your honest opinions.
Posts: 52 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Fatia, I know that I can't say anything to my friend's daugther, we are just trying to understand the situation better. We knew from we first started!
I have a good relationship with my husband, yes, but I never said that was 'easy'.
We have beeing married for 12 years and work hard on that. Every relationship takes work and is very good when you find somebody that is willing to work with you and wants you to be happy.
I hope all work good for you. All the best. Maria
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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Tshhhh, captain, this thread has been officially hijacked.
Tea, dear, I wish, really, but I am in the US. You sound like you are really willing to try with your hubby, in person. I hope that works out well! Either way you will know better how you work together. I was mentioning about the children for two reasons, one because that Imam irritated me, and two because of your comments regarding his unwillingness to tell his family about your children. What does he have to hide at his age? It sounds like he is not willing to put his neck out for you, in other words stand up for you. And the part about leaving you is a really flagrant message that he is not committed to taking care of you, protecting you, standing by your side, as your husband should! I hope that if you get to live together his responsibility towards you as your husband will increase. I honestly wish you the best, I just have to mention, you have one set of divorce papers, but that doesn't mean you have additional sets of marriage papers, know what I mean? Usually a woman can tell if her man is "distracted"... i hope you have some resolution about your husband...good luck!
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by santanesia: I'm from Brazil and since I was a child I wanted to go.
Oi Maria ! Where do you live? Does your friend´s daughter is Brazilian too? As she, I also went to Egypt to meet my bf last August. Maybe if she wants to talk about my experience to give her some idea about Egypt and things there, let me know. Regards Posts: 19 | From: Brazil | Registered: Feb 2006
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Hi Egiptian heart girl! I live in Florida, USA but I'm originally from Rio de Janeiro state(where I'm going with DH on friday for 10 days). She is born and raised in upstate New York. I sent her the tread and hope she would take a look. Was your experience good or bad? I guess was good because he still your BF. Is Egipt like Brazil in anyway?(Family, friendyness?
Where do you live in Brazil? Maria
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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I´m also brazilian, from Cuiabá - MT. Nice that you are coming to our land again for a visit, Brazil welcomes you always and your habib too . Hope one day I have the opportunity to go to Rio too. So, my experience was fantastic !!!! My egyptian was (and still is) wonderful !!! We got engaged in Egypt and we´ll marry soon, inshallah. And the country I loved since I was a child is marvellous and its people are talkative, warm and funny as brazilians. I was very well treated and respected. Before I go, I studied so much about everything, as the culture and Islam. So when I went, I felt as if I was egyptian and they thought the same as everybody confused me with egyptian IoI. Most of the families are conservative, a little different from Brazil and the western countries in general . So, before her trip, your friend has to be aware about how to dress, to behave and how to deal with her bf in order to see if he is really good or not. It´s a risk, that can have good or bad end, so she better take care. Posts: 19 | From: Brazil | Registered: Feb 2006
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EHG, You live in a great part of Brazil, it so beautifull there.I'm glad that you had a great time and everything went ok for you. I'm going to resolve some real state matters( last year, I lost my mom and my dad, 30 days apart) and 2 of my nieces are getting married. At least is for a happy occasion this time. I wish we were closer so we could meet. I told her about the dress custums but she said that she already knew it.
'to behave and how to deal with her bf in order to see if he is really good or not. It´s a risk, that can have good or bad end, so she better take care.' Can you give a little idea in how do you do that?
Muito Obrigada, Abracos. Maria
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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Maria, Yes, Mato Grosso is really nice, despite of the veeeery hot weather . It would be really great if we could meet here in Brazil. Who knows one day? My fiancé is crazy to know Maracanã . By the way, I wish all the happiness for your nieces who will soon start the life of married women . I´m really so sorry for your parents... God keep them. About what I commented, we better talk in private, if it´s possible for you. Do you have msn or yahoo messenger? Mmmm you are arriving tomorrow here, aren´t you ? Have a nice trip !!!!!!! And contact me as soon as you can. Abraços, Posts: 19 | From: Brazil | Registered: Feb 2006
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EGH, My DH loves Maracana also, so maybe one day we will meet there. It is all renovated , I heard. I don't have Yahoo or MSN but my nieces want me to, so probabilly when I came back I will send you a private menssage and we will talk. I'm flying this evening and probabilly won't be in a computer till I came back. Florida is very hot also. I'll be back on the 20th. Um abrasso, Maria
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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. So, before her trip, your friend has to be aware about how to dress, to behave and how to deal with her bf in order to see if he is really good or not. It´s a risk, that can have good or bad end, so she better take care.
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