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hallo everybody i am an egyptian woman i am 26 years old and i am divorced and have a kid i am divorced from 1 year and suffer alot in a 5 years sad marriage my problem is i am very depressed and first i can't work cause of my son he is 3 years old and i have no one to leave him with and i have no friends and alot of men tried to use me cause i am young and divorced as if there is no good men who could love me and my son all men who come near me tried to use me and my family as any egyptian family is making problems to me they are afraid for me so they r very protective that i feel i can't breath what can i do i am very depreesed all my days are like my nights i am going crazy i am trying to work but i am scared for my son i don't want a nanny bringing up my son and i can't find good men who can i trust and marry and i can't find friends cause my family won't accept me to have friends they don't know or from the net any advice before i get crazy
Posts: 20 | From: cairo | Registered: Nov 2005
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Hi Mai, I remember you posted in another session looking for some friends. Wasn't that successful? Didn't you find anybody worthy?
I am very sad to hear about your story. Giving an advice is always difficult, especially because I don't know anything of your life, but sometimes the only solution is A COMPLETE AND DRASTIC CHANGE. Have you ever thought about going away from Egypt with your son and build a new life? I know it sounds impossible at first but sometimes - in order to "save" our lives - we need to take a strong decision and marsh towards it. I am sorry if my suggestion is not helpful, but based on my experience only drastic changes bring benefits, otherwise you risk to enter a viscious spiral.
Good look to you and your son! MousseT
Posts: 285 | From: Milano, Italy | Registered: Oct 2005
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thx for your concern but i can't leave egypt cause my ex won't allow to make a passport according to the egyptian law and also my family won't accept and i want to raise my son here and i have no money to go cause my family won't give me anything cause they don't want me to go
-------------------- mai Posts: 20 | From: cairo | Registered: Nov 2005
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I am so sorry to hear about your problems. I am married to an Egyptian and live in the U.S. If you need someone to talk to, I would love to be your friend. Just give me your e-mail and we can chat privately. Good luck and think of your son. Don't despair. He needs a strong mother.
Posts: 10 | From: home | Registered: Jan 2006
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hi mai, i'm really sorry for what you are going through but unfortunatly thats how divorced women are treated, and its one of the things i hate about our culture. i think the best thing you can do is find a job. dont leave your son with a nanny, but put him in a nursery, that way he can play and socliaze with other kids. if you still dont want to do that, then you can find some work to do from home like translating documents etc. also another thing is studying. why dont you take a course in something you are interested in? there will probably be one or two sessions a week, and you can leave your child with your parents, in laws, or the father, its his son too ya3ni. i'm glad you had the courage to leave your husband. so many egyptian women are stuck in horrible marriages because they are scared of being divorced. but i really believe that divorce is much better then being in a stressful marriage. not just for the couple but for the children too. i hope things starting looking up for you inshallah. and if you need anything just email me at yasminefathy@hotmail.com
Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
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maitota, you are having a huge challange now but there must be a solution. The only way you can get out of your situation is if you become independent. Your family can watch a baby until you come home form work, get the job, save the money, raise the child and when you become financially stable marry a good person. Eventually you will meet someone. Maybe at your work place, who knows. Many things will change in the meantime but until you yourself change "status quo" nothing will change. The only way things starts to move in right direction is when you get "active" and you do something about it. Good luck! Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
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i am looking for work now but you know something my mom work so she can't watch my kid so my dad will and he is old so i am afraid for him and i am looking now i really am but i am worried about my son i don't want to neglect him cause his dad is so i don't want to neglect him also
-------------------- mai Posts: 20 | From: cairo | Registered: Nov 2005
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If you think that getting married with someone right away will save you and solve all your problems, I am afraid that's not solution. You need to work for your son if not for yourself.
This is not the first time people come to joke around while we all take it so seriously and wrote tons of posts in order to help. I hope you are not doing the same thing dear.
Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:Originally posted by maitota: hallo everybody i am an egyptian woman i am 26 years old and i am divorced and have a kid i am divorced from 1 year and suffer alot in a 5 years sad marriage my problem is i am very depressed and first i can't work cause of my son he is 3 years old and i have no one to leave him with and i have no friends and alot of men tried to use me cause i am young and divorced as if there is no good men who could love me and my son all men who come near me tried to use me and my family as any egyptian family is making problems to me they are afraid for me so they r very protective that i feel i can't breath what can i do i am very depreesed all my days are like my nights i am going crazy i am trying to work but i am scared for my son i don't want a nanny bringing up my son and i can't find good men who can i trust and marry and i can't find friends cause my family won't accept me to have friends they don't know or from the net any advice before i get crazy
I can’t picture yr problem, really you are the one who are responded for this kind of suffer? Is their any problem if you leave your kid in a nursery, like i was working in a nursery and kids are really having a good time, esp. during summer time, with different kinds of sports and hand craft, some mum register although they aren’t work…because some children don’t have the ability to socialize as they are staying at home playing computer games and play station and watching cartoons!! Kids are tend to be more stupid believe me, teachers spent more time with them to make them understand! Because they need nothing except their mum, and this sound crazy! If you aren’t intersted Inshallh next year he will join a school soon so just wait… You have a verity of things to do rather then searching for friends, bal 3arbey keda ma7desh hynf33ek, hy3mloylek eh? What are they going to add for you? And what if they aren’t good ppl? And some Egyptians like to talk and interfere in ppl private stuff! You have to search for suitable job, register in any gym, you have to do any kind of sport, if you don’t have money, walk 1 hour a day, don’t leave yr mind to the thinking process! Attend Islamic lectures, whether you are Christian or Muslim it is very helpful… You have to divide yr time, believe me I used to spend good time with my brother when he was 3, he is now 5, so this wasn’t long time ago, like drawing and coloring, teaching him new English words, I remember, when he came to spend the night over, we used to share a good time!! Even I have no time for my friends!! Read, read and read very interesting thing, even if you read magazines… Go and do the food shopping with yr parents, see if anyone in yr family need any help... sorry for being *tuff some how, but plz dont Destroy yr life!! if you need anyhelp jus PM me i will respond as soon as possiable... salam
Posts: 968 | From: www | Registered: Aug 2005
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HI,MAI,all i can say to u that u should try to be more independant,try to work,try to bring up ur son in a way that u'll be proud of someday,make new friends and don't give a **** to those who are trying to make use of u,but the most important thing to work coz u'll never feel free till u earn ur living,and my last advice to u that life is so short,and deppression makes it shorter,good luck and take care
Posts: 20 | Registered: Jan 2006
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I agree with what has been said above. Focus on your son, forget these friends you want to make, and this new husband you want to meet. You say your little one is 3 years old, so he's going to school right? That means he's busy half of the day. Maybe an other mom living in your area could take him after school, until you come back from work. What is your qualification? Do you think you may find a job easily? I know the situation of divorced women is awful in Egypt. But you have to tell yourself that you are very courageous -as 7ayat said, so many women keep living with a jerk because they are scared of getting divorced. So, now, focus on yourself and your child. You're living with your parents right? So your child has a loving environment to grow up, that's a good thing. But he also needs a strong and happy mom, not a depressed one. Several members offered your help, they sound to be great people, so you should contact them. Keep us posted, and "bon courage", as we say here.
Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2006
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Good for you. One day your son will be proud of you. Prove to everyone and especially to your son, and yourself that just because you are divorced - your life and his life is NOT over. He will appreciate you when he grows up so don't give up. Good luck!
Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Maybe you could find work in a nursery school where your son can be there with you also. This way you will get a big discount or maybe free care for him while you are in same workplace. You are a mother first so you have all the experience needed for a nursery type environment. Also you will be right there if not in a class next to his so you can check on him periodically. It is good for him to interact with other children as well as you to met the co workers and other mothers perhaps a good frienship will result out of this. It would give you a start salary, and confidence, and maybe some good friend contacts. Good luck! It is not hopeless and you are so young you still have a full wonderful life ahead of you, just make that first step and keep your head up high woman!
Posts: 395 | From: Whereever I go | Registered: Jul 2004
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have you seen a doctor? could be medical. anti-depressants could be the simple answer. your just in a rut sweetheart, things will get better, but only when you make them better. see your doc honey.
AYMAN1980 sound like you need to see yours too, so far you want to marry an english immoral business woman from the states who lives in egypt with depression.
hey Mai, stay tuned to ES, that will cure your depression!! cracks me up!!!!!!
Posts: 5642 | From: hellonearth.myfastforum.org Forum Index | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by maitota: hallo everybody i am an egyptian woman i am 26 years old and i am divorced and have a kid i am divorced from 1 year and suffer alot in a 5 years sad marriage my problem is i am very depressed and first i can't work cause of my son he is 3 years old and i have no one to leave him with and i have no friends and alot of men tried to use me cause i am young and divorced as if there is no good men who could love me and my son all men who come near me tried to use me and my family as any egyptian family is making problems to me they are afraid for me so they r very protective that i feel i can't breath what can i do i am very depreesed all my days are like my nights i am going crazy i am trying to work but i am scared for my son i don't want a nanny bringing up my son and i can't find good men who can i trust and marry and i can't find friends cause my family won't accept me to have friends they don't know or from the net any advice before i get crazy
Hi Mai: I totally realize how difficult your situation is... being a young and a divorced woman in Egypt can make your life very difficult. I used to live there and I know how you could become a target for every hungry man in town, not including the neighbor’s gossip and the tough situation with your family. There is no easy answer to your situation, but, you have three options:
1- Take your son and leave the country and start a whole new life somewhere else. This will take lots of effort on your part, including the pain trying to convince your family to let you go. I live in the US, and it is amazing what you see here among the Egyptian community as far as marriage problems. As much as we Egyptian men have an issue in Egypt getting married to a divorced woman with a child, we don't seem to really care here since we live in a free society without restrictions. What I am trying to tell you is; there are many good and decent Egyptian, and non-Egyptian men abroad who don't mind this marriage. The bottom line is; leaving Egypt could open the doors for you to a whole new life if you can face the challenge and leave.
2- You may try to tough it out, and continue to live in Egypt under these conditions and may be, someday the decent man will show up and he will love you and love your son. The question is; when? My suggestion is, don't rush it for the sake of your child, plus, you don't want to repeat the same mistake again. I am very sure; there is at least one good man in Egypt who will not mind your situation, you just have to give it time.
3- One last option you can try; you may want to consider leaving your neighborhood, and change jobs if you are currently working. Look for a quieter, clean, decent place, where people are not just setting there watching you 24x7 every time you move. This could temporary give you some peace, and a nice change for a fresh start. I can't think of anything else right now, but if I come up with something, I sure will let you know. Meanwhile, please don't hesitate to contact me if you have further questions or would like to vent a little. Good luck
Tomorrow will be a brighter day
Posts: 132 | Registered: Dec 2005
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wow, i hear it is really hard to find a job in egypt , if i were you i would access a computer , at a job if you do not have one at home , find a american guy who will marry you , then come to america and get yourself a huge education, i mean study your brains off , get a good paying job , that way no matterwhat happen you will be free, free to take care of you and your son , and never depend on anyone .it is hard to stay focused when you are depressed in fact impossible, but i tell u if u do nothing things will only get worse,depression builds on itself and soon you will find your child depressed too. sounds like u have had a terrible time , i hope things get better.if you ex husband will not allow u to leave the country , if you are devorced he cannot stop u from getting married to someone from another country and if the person u marry has a little money then , you can put up a fight , i am just saying this is what i would do.
Posts: 23 | From: OREGON | Registered: Feb 2006
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oh after you get educated in america and make a good job with good money then u can buy your own home in egypt by yourself and have your dream to raise your son there. when you are on your feet and have some money , the right man will come to you just like magic
Posts: 23 | From: OREGON | Registered: Feb 2006
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having education and money is most important right now , forget what your family wants , you have needs too and so does your son , and those needs are more important then your parents
Posts: 23 | From: OREGON | Registered: Feb 2006
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Hey BLUE, Are you suggesting she get married to a guy just for a visa? And then, what, sleep with him, maybe have more babies and then just dump him and go home? Heyyyy, isn't that what people criticize Egy men for? It is an interesting plan, the only thing is that I might not recommend that to anyone who does not have great mental and emotional strength and stamina. It takes a lot to be with someone you are using. And don't forget the process to permanent resident and green card can take years. All those breakfasts????
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
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no i am not saying use someone , i just think the situation she is in is impossible , i am saying she finds someone she likes from america , there are plenty of nice american guys willing to marry someone divorced with a child or even an egyptian man here in america, her land is just not up with the rest of the world , i was just thinking since she would have to jump to marry someone from another land that is the only way out and when you jump to marry someone that fast , it will not always work out , so i was not sugesting to use someone , just sugesting that she look out for herself and her son
Posts: 23 | From: OREGON | Registered: Feb 2006
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i just see if it were me in hershoes that is what i would do . i know it is not the most noble thing to do , but tell me what other choices does she have , getting a good paying job in egypt is impossible and even worse to hope to get married there if u aredivorced with a child , just impossible, getting remarried and an education , her only thought should be how to make a good living on her own ,
Posts: 23 | From: OREGON | Registered: Feb 2006
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oh and thereis a such thing as the birth control pill . it is 99.9 per cent effective , we are not living in the 19th century anymore!!!!!!!
Posts: 23 | From: OREGON | Registered: Feb 2006
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yes using someone is completely wrong and i would never do that , but i would get married to someone i liked or loved there company , and exsecially if they loved me enough to help me out from my hopeless problem , and really what is she to do a young pretty girl in egypt , wait there in egypt for life to turn her into an old maid and upset from her first marriage
Posts: 23 | From: OREGON | Registered: Feb 2006
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Mmmm, there are plenty of people who do it, yes. And who knows, maybe there is a man in a more open-minded country that is the perfect match. But, its probably pretty unlikely that this guy would allow his son to leave Egypt. Maitota, remember that using some childcare is not the same as letting someone else raise your child. Everyone needs some breaks, and without your ex-husband's help in raising your child, you need someone to take the boy for a little while. Even some short breaks to get out and look for a little job or go to the library will help your mind so much. Best to you, I hope you will be surprised by something nice.
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
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The thing that Mai did not mention above is; why there was a divorce to begin with. If the divorce was due to some simple stuff, or may be family interferance, which I doubt, there might be hope for reconciliation. I doubt that this man will abandon his son, especially in Egypt; in many cases the father gets the custody of the child. What I am trying to say is; did they exhaust all means of getting back together instead of this nightmare??
Posts: 132 | Registered: Dec 2005
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She said she has suffered 5 years with him. I think that she did all her best to make her couple work again.
Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2006
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first of all i thank u all for your respond, first we got a divorce cause he marry other woman while we were married and he cheatted on me daily and alot of reasons and i can't can't can't can't go back to him never ever. second he won't let me travel with my kid outside Egypt he won't make a passport for him and the egyptian law insist on that, now i am trying to get a work but no luck and i am not in a hurry to get married again but i just very depreesed all days like nights and i am very lonely
-------------------- mai Posts: 20 | From: cairo | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by maitota: first of all i thank u all for your respond, first we got a divorce cause he marry other woman while we were married and he cheatted on me daily and alot of reasons and i can't can't can't can't go back to him never ever. second he won't let me travel with my kid outside Egypt he won't make a passport for him and the egyptian law insist on that, now i am trying to get a work but no luck and i am not in a hurry to get married again but i just very depreesed all days like nights and i am very lonely
What a shame; I am sorry to hear that; based on your reply, and as a man, I can tell you that a man with these qualities is not worth one drop of your tears because he has broken his loyalty and commitment as a husband and as father. Always remember; there is a God who watches over us, and as they say; what goes around...comes around. God is going to reward you for being a good, faithful wife and a good mother as well. Someday, a good, honest, man who deserves you will show up. He will love you, and take good care of your son, and then things will be OK. I realize you are in great pain and my advice to you is; try to do your best by getting away from it, and from being lonely, at least for the time being. May be do some activities with your son, or get away every now and then; also, try to spend time with your good friends to ease the pain. This is a difficult situation, but always remembers, there are brighter days ahead... it’s just a matter of when.
Posts: 132 | Registered: Dec 2005
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Just a suggestion on work... Find a business owner there that carries unique items. Make an arrangement to start on online business. You obviously have access to the internet. Try Ebay.com I had to leave my job last year due to medical issues and this is what I did when I had to stay home. (I take care of elderly parents as well) I make good money. If you can find a great product there, you could make good money selling to the rest of the world. If you want more information feel free to pop me a private message. Faith
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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maitota, I'm very touched by your story! I want to be your friend. I will pm you my mail adress! And don't worry! I'm a woman eventhought my nick makes you think the contrary.
Posts: 78 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Sorry Mai to hear about your story.. If you need someone to listen to you, please let me know.. You can PM me.. it is really a difficult situation in a difficult society that does not have any MERCY..
amrssnowangel, unfortunately, EBAY does not work in Egypt and I believe it will never work..
Posts: 275 | From: the Globe | Registered: Dec 2005
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Sometimes there are bad days when life becomes a fight, And all that you can do is hang on in there tight. Remember dawn comes after darkness and the fiercest storms don't last, In the future this hard present will become a distant past. So here's simple message, I hope that you will heed it, Were always here to help you so log on to ES if ou need it!
xxxxxxxxxxx
Posts: 149 | From: england | Registered: Mar 2006
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When ur luck is as dark as the black night,and nothing can be worse,,, be happy coz the sun ALWAYS rises in the morning and ur situation will always change to the better.
He was right with me!
Just be patient.... It took me 9 years to solve my problem and I'm almost there....
Posts: 5 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by _Masrawi_: wow ... that was the longest run-on sentence that i have seen in my life!
Is that the best response you can give to your fellow sister in Islam, and fellow Egyptian?
How do you treat your mother, or how would you treat your sister, if she came to you with the same "run on sentence"? Id be interested to know, you fool.
Muslims like you embarass the rest of us Muslims. We already know you can come up with slick comments, try having some compassion. That's the real test of a man, and by the way, the characteristic of our Prophet was humility. Try that on and see how it fits you. I think it would be too large to fit a puny excuse for a man such as you, "masrawi."
If you have a problem with my comment, I dont care. Our Prophet said, "enmity from the wise is better than love that comes from a fool." You might get a lot of love from some of the foolish women on these boards because you can make a few wisecracks every now and then, and Im sure that fuels your shallow ego, but I love you more, which is why I must tell you quite honestly what a fool you are.
Posts: 120 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2005
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feel free to PM me. I dont care about your grammar, I care about your well-being.
May Allah help you.
Im slightly younger than you, and living in Cairo. Maybe we can be friends...maybe we can team up and find you a good husband. :-D
-------------------- Bakhsheesh! Yes, you are reading and enjoying my posts! So hand it over! Posts: 120 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by BLUESKY2: oh after you get educated in america and make a good job with good money then u can buy your own home in egypt by yourself and have your dream to raise your son there. when you are on your feet and have some money , the right man will come to you just like magic
easier said than done. she needs practical solutions, the answer is not "America."
Posts: 120 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by _Masrawi_: wow ... that was the longest run-on sentence that i have seen in my life!
Is that the best response you can give to your fellow sister in Islam, and fellow Egyptian?
How do you treat your mother, or how would you treat your sister, if she came to you with the same "run on sentence"? Id be interested to know, you fool.
Muslims like you embarass the rest of us Muslims. We already know you can come up with slick comments, try having some compassion. That's the real test of a man, and by the way, the characteristic of our Prophet was humility. Try that on and see how it fits you. I think it would be too large to fit a puny excuse for a man such as you, "masrawi."
If you have a problem with my comment, I dont care. Our Prophet said, "enmity from the wise is better than love that comes from a fool." You might get a lot of love from some of the foolish women on these boards because you can make a few wisecracks every now and then, and Im sure that fuels your shallow ego, but I love you more, which is why I must tell you quite honestly what a fool you are.
Right ... I am the fool. I am the one who naively believes that a "username" on an internet forum is someone with a real problem. Not to mention that if that person is really having this problem then they're retarded to be on here looking for answers. But what do i know ... i am a fool.
Remind me where in Islam does it teach u to call people fools when you don't like their comments ... Hypocrisy is such a turn off. Mix that with naivety, and you get a cocapuff.
Posts: 2049 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by _Masrawi_: [QUOTE] Right ... I am the fool. I am the one who naively believes that a "username" on an internet forum is someone with a real problem.
There's a person behind the username, just because she's using the internet doesnt mean she doesnt exist or might not have a real problem. And wouldnt you want to err on the side of caution, rather than risk calling her a liar, when perhaps her story is true?
quote:Not to mention that if that person is really having this problem then they're retarded to be on here looking for answers. But what do i know ... i am a fool.
Im sorry to see that you're still calling people "retarded," maybe you should leave this practice to the middle schoolers.
If you read her post carefully, you would see that she's a bit sheltered and protected by her parents. Perhaps she felt coming here was a possible alternative avenue.
quote:Remind me where in Islam does it teach u to call people fools when you don't like their comments ... Hypocrisy is such a turn off. Mix that with naivety, and you get a cocapuff.
I see you just couldnt resist adding a wisecrack into your response. I'm calling you a fool because of your insensitivity. And Islam requires sensitivity and compassion.....so there's your reminder.
You know what I think is retarded? People who think that scrolling the ES forums on a regular basis, and making sexual jokes and wisecracks, is somehow superior or more reasonable than someone who comes here looking for advice. Posts: 120 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by cocoapuffs: There's a person behind the username, just because she's using the internet doesnt mean she doesnt exist or might not have a real problem. And wouldnt you want to err on the side of caution, rather than risk calling her a liar, when perhaps her story is true?
And have you confirmed that she's really a woman in need of your advice Inspector Gadget? Doubt it ...
And no, I don't care much to offer advice to posts that I don't feel are authentic. If you do, then you have surely confused this board for a suicide helpline ... that number for u is 1-800-SUICIDE.
quote:Originally posted by cocoapuffs: Im sorry to see that you're still calling people "retarded," maybe you should leave this practice to the middle schoolers.
Yes, u r sorry ...
Couldn't help the middle school comeback.
quote:Originally posted by cocoapuffs: If you read her post carefully, you would see that she's a bit sheltered and protected by her parents. Perhaps she felt coming here was a possible alternative avenue.
Stop it already ... i am in tears.
Now, if u actually use some of those brain cells and reread her/his email, u'll realize that he/she has basically dumped a whole load of sshit on us. If it is all true, then what she really needs is a psychiatrist, not some hollow words that don't accomplish sshit. Oh wait ... u're naive. So, u prefer the following:
maitota,
hi. i am so sorry to hear about your problems. rest assured everything is gonna work out for u. In no time, all of this will be past you. for now, since i really have nothing to offer u but hollow words from a stranger, let me wish u good luck on the sshitty life u r leading.
_masrawi_
quote:Originally posted by cocoapuffs: I see you just couldnt resist adding a wisecrack into your response. I'm calling you a fool because of your insensitivity. And Islam requires sensitivity and compassion.....so there's your reminder.
You know what I think is retarded? People who think that scrolling the ES forums on a regular basis, and making sexual jokes and wisecracks, is somehow superior or more reasonable, than someone who comes here looking for advice.
I couldn't.
So, u have judged me as insensitive. Remind me again where in Islam it says u can judge people? If i remember correctly, something as big as adultery needs 4 witnesses and such a lengthy process to prove and judge. But if it was up to people like u, then i would be judged an infidel and sentenced to death.
And then one wonders what is wrong with Islam today ...
Posts: 2049 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:And have you confirmed that she's really a woman in need of your advice Inspector Gadget? Doubt it ...
Do you honestly have such a big deal with someone else answering a person's post with a little compassion? If so, then you are just bitter, it seems.
quote:And no, I don't care much to offer advice to posts that I don't feel are authentic. If you do, then you have surely confused this board for a suicide helpline ... that number for u is 1-800-SUICIDE.
On what basis do you presume that she is inauthentic? It seems to me you are using just as much insufficient evidence as you accuse me of using below. If you dont want to offer advice, fine, but don't think it's your place to tell me I should also adhere to your defensive and bitter mentality.
quote: If it is all true, then what she really needs is a psychiatrist, not some hollow words that don't accomplish sshit.
Why does she need a psychiatrist? Tons of Arab women have found themselves dooped by Arab men in these similar situations, and have subsequently found it hard to remarry. How is this a sign she needs a psychiatrist, when we know cases like this exist?
And instead of speaking FOR her, why dont you ask her if the words others said to her "didnt accomplish ****"?
quote:Oh wait ... u're naive. So, u prefer the following:
maitota,
hi. i am so sorry to hear about your problems. rest assured everything is gonna work out for u. In no time, all of this will be past you. for now, since i really have nothing to offer u but hollow words from a stranger, let me wish u good luck on the sshitty life u r leading.
Is that how you view sympathy? If so, you are a very cynical man. How do you get by in life? Or is it dangerous for you to risk your emotions on a person who *may* be duping you? Has someone made you regret showing emotion to them? Even if someone is a liar, the sin is on them, and you still get a reward for trying to help someone. Either way, you win. No good deed is wasted in the sight of Allah, and don't think Islam doesnt extend to the message boards.
quote:Originally posted by cocoapuffs: You know what I think is retarded? People who think that scrolling the ES forums on a regular basis, and making sexual jokes and wisecracks, is somehow superior or more reasonable, than someone who comes here looking for advice.
So, u have judged me as insensitive. Remind me again where in Islam it says u can judge people?
Whenever people don't have a real argument, and they realize they've done something stupid, they usually fall back on "Only God can judge me." Well, Im sorry, but God didnt make us a passive people who sit back and let ourselves and others do what they want because God is their judge. "Al amr bil ma'ruf wa nahyan al munkar" = Enjoin the good and forbid evil. (i.e., don't resist criticism under the pretense of "Only God can judge me." We all know God judges.
quote:If i remember correctly, something as big as adultery needs 4 witnesses and such a lengthy process to prove and judge. But if it was up to people like u, then i would be judged an infidel and sentenced to death.
So this woman posts a rather emotional paragraph, and you answer with a remark on her grammar.....and I was supposed to draw a conclusion OTHER than that this was insensitive? Enlighten me on what logic you're using here.
And sure... Resort to the extreme examples of witnesses in an adultery trial. Horrify everyone on here by likening me to a "strict Islamic judge." You're appealing to the same stereotypes others use on us Muslims! Frankly, I'm not bothered. Nobody's calling you an "infidel," so unfortunately you cannot paint me as a Wahabi and yourself as the moderate Muslim whose jokes everyone enjoys, so sorry to frustrate you in that regard. I just think sometimes you go overboard with your humor.
quote:And then one wonders what is wrong with Islam today ...
Correction. There is nothing wrong with Islam. There is only something wrong with Muslims, especially when they think that their behavior on internet message boards is somehow exempt from the scrutiny of their brothers and sisters.
But, ma lish...I suppose I should go make jokes all over the message board with sexual innuendo....indeed this is a better way of spending one's time than to respond to a person's plea for advice. Alas, I see the light...! Posts: 120 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2005
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i have to choose between spending the next half an hour replying to each and every point u made (or didn't make rather) and entertain u in the process or i can just ignore it and come off as if u actually had any valid points.
it's a choice between a rock and a hard place.
i'll reply .. but a little later when i have time to waste.
for now, sit tight and enjoy my sexual innuendos on other threads.
posted
I really dont know what to say but i wish you luck and i hope things get better , and if you want to either discuss or talk about anything that irritates you please dont hesitate.
We feel for you and you are not alone as you might think.
God bless and good luck .
Posts: 1123 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
I HAVE A SOLUTION FOR DEPRESSION. EVERY DAY, EAT A PLATE OF THE BEANS( ELFOOL). IT'S AN ANTIDPRESSANT FOOD. IT REALLY WORK WITH ALL EGYPTIANS ANDIT WAS DISCOVERED TO HAVE AN ANTIDPRESSANT ACTIVITIES
Posts: 1007 | From: http://www.sultan.org | Registered: Mar 2006
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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
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but unfortunatly thats how divorced women are treated, and its one of the things i hate about our culture.![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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that's enough for today
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