posted
I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, and if someone wants to point me to a thread, that's fine. My question has to do with couples of mixed faith. Any combination of Muslim, Christian, Jewish or any other. What problems do you see or have you experienced from the differences, and what things work well because of the differences? Have you learned alot? Have you changed any of your actions based on seeing how your partner acts based on things from their faith? Would you consider converting to their faith based on what you have seen of it, or would you never convert?
Posts: 1283 | From: Cairo | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by LovedOne: I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, and if someone wants to point me to a thread, that's fine. My question has to do with couples of mixed faith. Any combination of Muslim, Christian, Jewish or any other. What problems do you see or have you experienced from the differences, and what things work well because of the differences? Have you learned alot? Have you changed any of your actions based on seeing how your partner acts based on things from their faith? Would you consider converting to their faith based on what you have seen of it, or would you never convert?
I could not convert but I can respect Islam. I try to do something special when it is some Islamic celebration day. I am trying to be supportive and accepting and not criticizing.
Posts: 523 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
My husband is Muslim, I am Christian. I think our relationship works because my husband doesn't try and push me into his religion. He will say that he wishes I would be muslim because he wants me to go to heaven but thats as far as it goes. We celebrate each other's holidays. It definently has been a lot of give and take. For instance, when I first came here my husband wanted me to wear long sleeved shirts when I went out. I was like yeah right! So I wear short sleeved shirts when I want but I gave up the tank tops!
Posts: 516 | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by LovedOne: I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, and if someone wants to point me to a thread, that's fine. My question has to do with couples of mixed faith. Any combination of Muslim, Christian, Jewish or any other. What problems do you see or have you experienced from the differences, and what things work well because of the differences? Have you learned alot? Have you changed any of your actions based on seeing how your partner acts based on things from their faith? Would you consider converting to their faith based on what you have seen of it, or would you never convert?
There can be a million different things that you don't even realize is caused by a cultural difference. I think personally think you should share each others religious holidays and definitely have respect for the other. I have not personally experienced this, but there can be more issues once children are brought into the picture. There are books you can read on the topic, one is called Intercultural Marriage: Promises and Pitfalls.
Posts: 333 | From: USA | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by LovedOne: I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, and if someone wants to point me to a thread, that's fine. My question has to do with couples of mixed faith. Any combination of Muslim, Christian, Jewish or any other. What problems do you see or have you experienced from the differences, and what things work well because of the differences? Have you learned alot? Have you changed any of your actions based on seeing how your partner acts based on things from their faith? Would you consider converting to their faith based on what you have seen of it, or would you never convert?
I respect others religion, but I don’t believe in these relations!
however, to me any relation is an introduction to marriage, won’t describe how miserable their kids will be!
Posts: 968 | From: www | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by LovedOne: I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, and if someone wants to point me to a thread, that's fine. My question has to do with couples of mixed faith. Any combination of Muslim, Christian, Jewish or any other. What problems do you see or have you experienced from the differences, and what things work well because of the differences? Have you learned alot? Have you changed any of your actions based on seeing how your partner acts based on things from their faith? Would you consider converting to their faith based on what you have seen of it, or would you never convert?
I respect others religion, but I don’t believe in these relations!
however, to me any relation is an introduction to marriage, won’t describe how miserable their kids will be!
Someone has to be miserable, but not always the kids.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by LovedOne: I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, and if someone wants to point me to a thread, that's fine. My question has to do with couples of mixed faith. Any combination of Muslim, Christian, Jewish or any other. What problems do you see or have you experienced from the differences, and what things work well because of the differences? Have you learned alot? Have you changed any of your actions based on seeing how your partner acts based on things from their faith? Would you consider converting to their faith based on what you have seen of it, or would you never convert?
I respect others religion, but I don’t believe in these relations!
however, to me any relation is an introduction to marriage, won’t describe how miserable their kids will be!
Someone has to be miserable, but not always the kids.
But It may work under one condition if both couples are not that religiously! My friend’s MOTHER is Swedish and her dad is Egyptian both don’t practice their religions, her mum likes Islam but she said that converting is a big step. So, their marriage works till now because they don’t bother their self of this issue! My father has a friend who has married an Italian lady long time ago, their son is now 25 years old and he is a mix of both Islam and Christine and I think he prefers nothing! My dad told me that when he was a child she used to take him to the church, because she can’t leave him anywhere else, see the point of confusing!
Posts: 968 | From: www | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Convert to the same religion (usually the man's religion)A couple can not be unequally yolked.
Posts: 478 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
How can you convert to something if you don't believe in it 100% ? That would be living a lie. Not that anyone is otherwise perfect...
Posts: 1283 | From: Cairo | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Originally posted by Asooma: [/QUOTE]I respect others religion, but I don’t believe in these relations!
however, to me any relation is an introduction to marriage, won’t describe how miserable their kids will be! [/QB][/QUOTE]
I know a couple, he's Jewish and she's Catholic. AND they both practice their religion devoutly. They've made their marraige work AND they have two children who aren't miserable. They're very vigilant about making their marriage and life together work, and it takes tremendous work. But it's possible.
Posts: 68 | From: Easton Pa | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Origina;lly posted by LovedOne: How can you convert to something if you don't believe in it 100% ? That would be living a lie. Not that anyone is otherwise perfect...
let me clarify: if you love your faith, first and above all, you will marry within your faith. if you love a man, you will love his faith. If not, do not marry. Try to learn the faith, first. I agree, no hypocricy. I beleive, faith is primary. Over any man.
Posts: 478 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hmmm.... interesting. Definitely something to think about.
Shouldn't belief in God and doing his will be able to conquer any difficulties that arise from a mixed faith relationship? I mean, if you both share the same values, whether you share the same religion, you don't think that would be enough?
Posts: 1283 | From: Cairo | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by EgyptianMau: Originally posted by Asooma:
I respect others religion, but I don’t believe in these relations!
however, to me any relation is an introduction to marriage, won’t describe how miserable their kids will be! [/QUOTE]
I know a couple, he's Jewish and she's Catholic. AND they both practice their religion devoutly. They've made their marraige work AND they have two children who aren't miserable. They're very vigilant about making their marriage and life together work, and it takes tremendous work. But it's possible. [/QB][/QUOTE] Honestly, I was talking about Christians and Muslims, I have never deal with any Jewish be4, may be it is possible, but to me,” meaning my personal opinion.” it is impossible!
Posts: 968 | From: www | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
Shouldn't belief in God and doing his will be able to conquer any difficulties that arise from a mixed faith relationship? I mean, if you both share the same values, whether you share the same religion, you don't think that would be enough?
Posts: 68 | From: Easton Pa | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by EgyptianMau: Originally posted by Asooma:
I respect others religion, but I don’t believe in these relations!
however, to me any relation is an introduction to marriage, won’t describe how miserable their kids will be!
I know a couple, he's Jewish and she's Catholic. AND they both practice their religion devoutly. They've made their marraige work AND they have two children who aren't miserable. They're very vigilant about making their marriage and life together work, and it takes tremendous work. But it's possible. [/QUOTE] Honestly, I was talking about Christians and Muslims, I have never deal with any Jewish be4, may be it is possible, but to me,” meaning my personal opinion.” it is impossible! [/QB][/QUOTE]
actually it could work for a muslim man, and chrisitan women, but she would be come muslim. If that does not happen, it is not a true marraige in Islam, and it will be problamatic for the children. I know an egyption man, who married a christian women, and had 2 boys.When the marrage was over, the mother got the children, which hurt the father, tremedoulsy. She never let the children practic Islam, and alway took them to church on Sunday. When the boys got older they wanted to learn their father's religion. He would come and take the boys to the mosque on Friday, and she would take them to the church on Sunday. They were really unstable. Now they are 16 and 14 and choose Islam. They are still learning how to pray. Now, the father and the boys are going to Egypt this summer, because the children have only been to Egypt when they were babies. The father is hoping to connect his sons with their faith. He has even offered to take my oldest 2 children with him, and his boys.
Posts: 478 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by EgyptianMau: Originally posted by Asooma:
I respect others religion, but I don’t believe in these relations!
however, to me any relation is an introduction to marriage, won’t describe how miserable their kids will be!
I know a couple, he's Jewish and she's Catholic. AND they both practice their religion devoutly. They've made their marraige work AND they have two children who aren't miserable. They're very vigilant about making their marriage and life together work, and it takes tremendous work. But it's possible.
Honestly, I was talking about Christians and Muslims, I have never deal with any Jewish be4, may be it is possible, but to me,” meaning my personal opinion.” it is impossible! [/QUOTE]
actually it could work for a muslim man, and chrisitan women, but she would be come muslim. If that does not happen, it is not a true marraige in Islam, and it will be problamatic for the children. I know an egyption man, who married a christian women, and had 2 boys.When the marrage was over, the mother got the children, which hurt the father, tremedoulsy. She never let the children practic Islam, and alway took them to church on Sunday. When the boys got older they wanted to learn their father's religion. He would come and take the boys to the mosque on Friday, and she would take them to the church on Sunday. They were really unstable. Now they are 16 and 14 and choose Islam. They are still learning how to pray. Now, the father and the boys are going to Egypt this summer, because the children have only been to Egypt when they were babies. The father is hoping to connect his sons with their faith. He has even offered to take my oldest 2 children with him, and his boys. [/QB][/QUOTE] It will be a good experience for both of them!
Posts: 968 | From: www | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by LovedOne: Hmmm.... interesting. Definitely something to think about.
Shouldn't belief in God and doing his will be able to conquer any difficulties that arise from a mixed faith relationship? I mean, if you both share the same values, whether you share the same religion, you don't think that would be enough?
I think religion is strongly tied to culture. I am not so sure that different faiths have the same understanding of doing God's will. I am speaking about Muslim/Jew can not work! Muslim/Christian she has to convert, Jew/Christian no comment on this one
Posts: 478 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
There are plenty of Christians who marry Jewish people and are well and happy and productive couples. There are Jews who marry Hindus and Buddhists and Jehovah's Witnesses and others. And of course there are Christians who marry all of the above and more. Fundamentalists don't usually marry outside of their religions. Generally if your practise of religion creates less harmony with those around you, if it creates distance, dislike, isolation, and disagreement then maybe it needs a little tweaking.. That is of course, unrelated to the marriage point. Some moslem men marry christians but I don't know how it works when raising children.
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by LovedOne: Hmmm.... interesting. Definitely something to think about.
Shouldn't belief in God and doing his will be able to conquer any difficulties that arise from a mixed faith relationship? I mean, if you both share the same values, whether you share the same religion, you don't think that would be enough?
More than enough ... it's all about mentality.
Posts: 2049 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by LovedOne: Hmmm.... interesting. Definitely something to think about.
Shouldn't belief in God and doing his will be able to conquer any difficulties that arise from a mixed faith relationship? I mean, if you both share the same values, whether you share the same religion, you don't think that would be enough?
Not Enough For Me, don't know about the others.
Posts: 3903 | From: The Moon | Registered: Feb 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
It has less to do with the specific religious differences but more concerned with how each individual responds to and respects their partner's beliefs. If neither party is overly religious than it has a better chance of working. If both are committed to their faith they will inevitably wish the other felt the same. This desire to convert the other or deep belief that their partner is doomed to hell because they don't practise the same religion is when tension occurs.
If you want an easier life, marry someone from the same cultural and religious background as yourself. There are no recipes for success but removing obstacles before they appear might help! If you're not too cynical and believe love can conquer all than go for it but be aware of the consequences.
Posts: 1 | From: Cairo, Egypt | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well said Billie.....I fall into that "Believe Love can conquer All" category and neither party is overly religious......but it is difficult and definitely more conflicting when living in Egypt than was for us in USA. I don't have the answers wish I did.
Posts: 395 | From: Whereever I go | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
My husband has a friend (Muslim) who is married to a Jewish woman, they live here in the states. They have a good marriage and love each other dearly. However, he refuses to have children with his wife unless she converts. He doesn't want to raise children in a mixed faith marriage.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Khadija_Diagne: [QUOTE]Originally posted by LovedOne: [qb]I am speaking about Muslim/Jew can not work! Muslim/Christian she has to convert, Jew/Christian no comment on this one
Judaism and Islam are actually very similar. Tiger, who used to post here, is an Egyptian Muslim living in the States and his wife was born and raised Jewish. I do think she reverted, but he never asked her to or pressured her to do so. But it seems they have a wonderful marriage. I agree with Masrawi. It's more about mentality than religion itself....because mentality will dictate how you feel and think about religion. If you two are on a similar wavelength, everything is cool. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Judaism and Islam are actually very similar. Tiger, who used to post here, is an Egyptian Muslim living in the States and his wife was born and raised Jewish. I do think she reverted, but he never asked her to or pressured her to do so.
I don't know much about Judiasm. When I say I dont think a Muslim/Jews relationship will work, I mean if they both are practicing respectivly. With Tiger, his wife reverted, that is what I think needs to happen for the marriage to stay.
Posts: 478 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
In Judaism, it's the mom who gives the child's religion, it's different of Islam, where if the father is muslim, then the child will be too, whatever the mom is. Jewish women have a strong pressure then, and very few of them would accept to convert. But Snoozin is totally right when she says Islam and Judaism are so close. Even the language is almost the same!! Look, the Jewish women are also veiling their hair. So much in common.
Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by EgyptianMau: Originally posted by Asooma:
I respect others religion, but I don’t believe in these relations!
however, to me any relation is an introduction to marriage, won’t describe how miserable their kids will be!
I know a couple, he's Jewish and she's Catholic. AND they both practice their religion devoutly. They've made their marraige work AND they have two children who aren't miserable. They're very vigilant about making their marriage and life together work, and it takes tremendous work. But it's possible.
Honestly, I was talking about Christians and Muslims, I have never deal with any Jewish be4, may be it is possible, but to me,” meaning my personal opinion.” it is impossible! [/QUOTE]
actually it could work for a muslim man, and chrisitan women, but she would be come muslim. If that does not happen, it is not a true marraige in Islam, and it will be problamatic for the children. I know an egyption man, who married a christian women, and had 2 boys.When the marrage was over, the mother got the children, which hurt the father, tremedoulsy. She never let the children practic Islam, and alway took them to church on Sunday. When the boys got older they wanted to learn their father's religion. He would come and take the boys to the mosque on Friday, and she would take them to the church on Sunday. They were really unstable. Now they are 16 and 14 and choose Islam. They are still learning how to pray. Now, the father and the boys are going to Egypt this summer, because the children have only been to Egypt when they were babies. The father is hoping to connect his sons with their faith. He has even offered to take my oldest 2 children with him, and his boys. [/QB][/QUOTE]
What happened to the principle "There is no compulsion in Religion"?
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
my daughter is in love with an egyptian young man, they have been internet dating a year. He has been teaching her about Islam, and she has been learning a little about it as she has alot of respect for him. Well we are going to egypt in 3 weeks, and she will meet him in person(maybe). I say maybe, because last night he put the amount of love he has for her against Islam. He told her that he would love her 10 times more if she was muslim. So the conversation escalated into well, i guess you love me 10 times less than u could because im christian. then he said he would never teach her or discuss islam again with her ever. But then that was not her point, she was not upset of him teaching her islam, just not putting it into the love equation. Oh, no im beginning to worry about this trip to Egypt. They almost broke up last night as she was so mad and telling him to go find him a muslim girl cause he could love her 10 times more. I know they care alot about each other, but the differences is going to cause heartache and its already starting.
Posts: 96 | From: usa | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by tenngirl9: my daughter is in love with an egyptian young man, they have been internet dating a year. He has been teaching her about Islam, and she has been learning a little about it as she has alot of respect for him. Well we are going to egypt in 3 weeks, and she will meet him in person(maybe). I say maybe, because last night he put the amount of love he has for her against Islam. He told her that he would love her 10 times more if she was muslim. So the conversation escalated into well, i guess you love me 10 times less than u could because im christian. then he said he would never teach her or discuss islam again with her ever. But then that was not her point, she was not upset of him teaching her islam, just not putting it into the love equation. Oh, no im beginning to worry about this trip to Egypt. They almost broke up last night as she was so mad and telling him to go find him a muslim girl cause he could love her 10 times more. I know they care alot about each other, but the differences is going to cause heartache and its already starting.
How could a mother ever be this supportive?
And don't forget to review your use of all pronouns before you post. Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think he is at fault, tenngirl. He really wants her to convert. This seems to be very common, moreso among Egyptians that are not in the West. But it is very common wherever they are. His religion may be vastly important to him. But it seems he is disrespecting her. That's also pretty common. He is at fault for threatening to not talk to her about Islam ever again.
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
sorry, i will try to put quotation marks in for who is speaking to clarify next time. I am a Kentucky hillbilly anyways so you should hur my cuuuuuntry accent that i got. They will luv it when i get over thur to Egypt. I like to end all my sentences with prepositions too.hahaha You would be correctin me al the day.
Posts: 96 | From: usa | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by tenngirl9: sorry, i will try to put quotation marks in for who is speaking to clarify next time. I am a Kentucky hillbilly anyways so you should hur my cuuuuuntry accent that i got. They will luv it when i get over thur to Egypt. I like to end all my sentences with prepositions too.hahaha You would be correctin me al the day.
it isn't the way your word or phrase your pronouns, its the intent behind the pronouns.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
tenngirl9, i think it's more about the idea of if they're serious and they marry, how are the kids going to be raised. sounds like he wants them raised muslim. would your daughter be able to do that (retain her faith but maintain a muslim househould so the kids could be raised muslim)?
because that's the road this is leading up to. i don't think this guy has a problem with your daughter having a different religion, but rather raising his futher children in a different religion.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
Originally posted by sonomod: Originally posted by tenngirl9: my daughter is in love with an egyptian young man, they have been internet dating a year. He has been teaching her about Islam, and she has been learning a little about it as she has alot of respect for him. Well we are going to egypt in 3 weeks, and she will meet him in person(maybe). I say maybe, because last night he put the amount of love he has for her against Islam. He told her that he would love her 10 times more if she was muslim. So the conversation escalated into well, i guess you love me 10 times less than u could because im christian. then he said he would never teach her or discuss islam again with her ever. But then that was not her point, she was not upset of him teaching her islam, just not putting it into the love equation. Oh, no im beginning to worry about this trip to Egypt. They almost broke up last night as she was so mad and telling him to go find him a muslim girl cause he could love her 10 times more. I know they care alot about each other, but the differences is going to cause heartache and its already starting.
How could a mother ever be this supportive?[B]
[B]And don't forget to review your use of all pronouns before you post.
I know Sonomod..I'm jealous of not having a mother like Tenngirl19 too! Posts: 68 | From: Easton Pa | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by EgyptianMau: Originally posted by sonomod: Originally posted by tenngirl9: my daughter is in love with an egyptian young man, they have been internet dating a year. He has been teaching her about Islam, and she has been learning a little about it as she has alot of respect for him. Well we are going to egypt in 3 weeks, and she will meet him in person(maybe). I say maybe, because last night he put the amount of love he has for her against Islam. He told her that he would love her 10 times more if she was muslim. So the conversation escalated into well, i guess you love me 10 times less than u could because im christian. then he said he would never teach her or discuss islam again with her ever. But then that was not her point, she was not upset of him teaching her islam, just not putting it into the love equation. Oh, no im beginning to worry about this trip to Egypt. They almost broke up last night as she was so mad and telling him to go find him a muslim girl cause he could love her 10 times more. I know they care alot about each other, but the differences is going to cause heartache and its already starting.
How could a mother ever be this supportive?[B]
[B]And don't forget to review your use of all pronouns before you post.
I know Sonomod..I'm jealous of not having a mother like Tenngirl19 too!
Not jealous, just skeptical.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I may be old-fashionned, but these internet stories are so strange to me. I'm not talking about people who meet their BF/GF in the same country, I know it happens more and more, and I find it's just a new way to meet. But these relations between an Egyptian, who has never been to the West, and a foreigner, who has never been to Egypt...and the guy is already asking her for converting...What's all that??? In Cairo, I have many foreign friends married to Egyptians, and they have never been asked to convert!! Some of them did, some didn't, it was their personal choice, after living a couple years in the country. My fiance didn't want me to convert, when I started to talk about it, he felt really uncomfortable, he said I was a practicing Christian, it was perfect for him. He was afraid that my family rejects me because of this (and they will), that I may convert to make our relationship easier...I mean, how can a guy living in Egypt, who has never met her girlfriend, who doesn't know her family, can ask her for such a big decision? This guy looks so selfish. Teengirl, what can your daughter expect from such a man??
Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
can not work! Muslim/Christian she has to convert, Jew/Christian no comment on this one
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic