posted
I think nobody know what is a relationship until they find themselves into it for longer time, sometimes for years.
In the beginning everything seems to be perfect, but in reality people get tired of PLEASING each other thus falling in love seems to be simply an illusion.
I think doing less in the beginning is better because then you create a realistic PICTURE, instead of creating high expectations and not being able to fulfill them. Creating a realistic expectations seems to attract better match in your life because at least - the person in question can take it.
I usually show my bad side first to make a man get used to it right in front. Once I convert into pleasing mode, he can only like me more. If you show your good side first, once you show bad side, they get disappointed
Are you there to impress and show your good side or you having a tendency to show your bad side first? What did you learn on this matter from your experiences?
Is this attitude completely ineffective because who is going to stay with someone who is showing the bad side first? But then, if you portray yourself and only your good side, that's unrealistic. People will fell in love with wrong image thus once they find out who you really are - it's going to cause a heartache. What do you think?
Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I agree with Mike about trying to do the best u can all the time...But, I was in a relationship with a man, and I was being myself, and I think that i am a good person, but ofcourse i do make mistakes now and then, and he told me he loved me so much and would do anything for me. We were best friends, and we told each other everything, and all our free time ws spent together, and opened up our hearts to each other, it was like a fairytale i guess...Anyway, we eventually got engaged, a week before we were supposed to marry, it was my time of my PMS, and ofcourse i was emotional and moody at times, and I didnt do anythign so horrible or hateful towards him, but he decided that he couldnt be wiht me.....I was devastated...His reason for backing off? Because he couldnt handle my emotional mood swings??? I guess it took him by surprise? Who knows, I couldnt undertand it because out of the whole year, i was so good to him, and all of a sudden, it was over....I guess i still dont understand it to this day. I thought if u truly loved someone u love them unconditionally, during good and bad times..including PMS times...jsut thought i would share that Posts: 100 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
One love, I agree with you. It looks that he was not really in love otherwise these natural mood swings would not change his mind so quickly. Person first attempt to fix the problem and change many things before they give up. If a person gives up without trying to fix it all, then how sure you can be that he was really in love.
So it's better for you to not to have a man like that in your life, because he was there only when everything was good. Maybe he was dihsonest but you haven't noticed it.
Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I don't understand pms....because Im a man I guess...
whats it last a day?
I would think a man and a women would be able to make a deal not to be around each other for that period of time each month....so as not to provoke anything dumb being said..(from either party)
and hurting the relationship in the long run.
I mean if the women is outta controll, why be around during that time period?
I could be wrong..Im not exactly huge heffner, in fact Im more like jeramiah johnson..so Im not really up to date on these things..
-------------------- The ground at Calvary's Cross is level Posts: 1172 | Registered: Apr 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by mike rozier: and why can't a person edit their own posts anymore to correct spelling errors???
cus they want to see how crap we are at spelling and what as we humans can male fool out of our selves ,i love following you ,you make my day MIKEY???????i hear ur heart beating to the sound of ''allah akbar ,now dont forget to show YOUR GOOD SIDE FIRST ,CUS YOUR GOOD SIDE IS YOUR BAD SIED AND YOUR BAD SIDE IS YOUR GOOD SIDE ,OOOOOPS ME SO SO IRISH Posts: 4597 | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
SEE THE SPELLING MISTAKES THERE AND I HAD TO WAIT 180 SECONDS FOR THIS ,KERPLUNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posts: 4597 | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Unfortunately I was brought up to show my good side first and always. My bad side only is shown to ppl so close to me. It could take years for me get angry and moody or anything. I think the only two times i ever got so angry that i screamed was at home with my sisters!! As for the rest of the tantrums, i deal with them on my own.
Not that im an angel. On the contrary, I was also brought up to be very spoiled. It's part of who i am and if there isnt a man in my life, i spoil myself rotten. But when there is..he has to share!! most men consider that a good side at first. But later on they definitely change their minds.
-------------------- Same crap...Different toilet Posts: 1813 | From: Cairo | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
I show my bad side 1st, coz if he stands it..then he is worth my time n emotions...
Funny though, coz when I show my bad side first they stick to me and try to find 10000 of reasons to justify it for me ...guess um too lucky Posts: 155 | From: Alexandria, Egypt | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Most of my relationships started durring a bad time in my life LOL. So I really didn't care if they saw the bad or good side. I wonder though how exactly do you show your bad side on purpose???? Unless showing your bad side means being honest?????
Posts: 177 | From: Alexandria,Egypt / Missouri,USA | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well I just found out that according to a Relationship studies, you should first show the good side because when the bad side comes up, your partner can look in the past and see lots of good things and experiences thus be able to accept your bad side.
Apparently people are measuring it. If it's inbalanced, it's not good. If they see more bad than good ( you show bad first - and they have no chance to see good, it could be too late )they will often not want to be with you ( inbalanced relationship ).
So - I got to change approach. From now on, I am acting very nice, to impress to get the points up front, and when bad times comes - it's still going to be good because the bad is less. Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Ngeg: Unfortunately I was brought up to show my good side first and always. My bad side only is shown to ppl so close to me. It could take years for me get angry and moody or anything. I think the only two times i ever got so angry that i screamed was at home with my sisters!! As for the rest of the tantrums, i deal with them on my own.
Not that im an angel. On the contrary, I was also brought up to be very spoiled. It's part of who i am and if there isnt a man in my life, i spoil myself rotten. But when there is..he has to share!! most men consider that a good side at first. But later on they definitely change their minds.
You are smart girl. You will marry better than most of us here. Share more tips please! Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Once I convert into pleasing mode, he can only like me more. 
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
,now dont forget to show YOUR GOOD SIDE FIRST ,CUS YOUR GOOD SIDE IS YOUR BAD SIED AND YOUR BAD SIDE IS YOUR GOOD SIDE ,OOOOOPS ME SO SO IRISH 
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic