posted
Why are you asking? Are you thinking of getting married and a bit afraid of taking the step? Passion doesn't last (in most couples at least). Love still. Sometimes you need to refresh it I think, because routine can really damage it.
Posts: 18 | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
I still love my wife after 11 years together, including 5 years of marriage. It can be hard, but it's very satisfying to know there's always someone you can trust and share things with. Of course if you're with the wrong partner, that may not be the case.
I though timimd was already in a relationship. Which is it?
-------------------- Happiness is a choice! Posts: 177 | From: London | Registered: May 2006
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posted
me ive been hurt in mine and i know hes feeling this but we are working on it ,i do know he feel remorse and so he shud for what he did ,but i do know in my heart he loves me and i do him so we are making it work and these last 2days since i was not well ,i cud not have wished for a better husband i did marry my soul mate after all with a little fault and probably it needed the wrong ingredient to make it work more i dont know im just really trying ,its the trust issuie that is the problem but we talk more than we ever did i say what i feel he listens more and works on it ,buti really cud do with a BIG HUG ,at the moment ,ive put alot a stake in this relaionship and im not prepared to throw it away or allow what he did to take us over WE WILL WORK IT OUT ,WITH ALLAHS GRACE .
Posts: 4597 | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
So naturally I love the most, a man who loves me but sets me free ( which is my Ex, my Soulmate ) BECAUSE to me he proved his love by letting me accomplish my life dreams. That's why I always come back to him and he makes me the most happiest person alive.
Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:Originally posted by timimd: are u really still like/love your spouse?
You mean *do* you still like your spouse!
It's been about 5 years here. He still is the same good looking, loving, caring, sharing, funny I guy I first met. And I'm still the "most beautiful" , funniest, "sweetest" , "one with the best ass" , he's ever met.
I still love him yeah, but I respect him even more. Something which is so important in a relationship.
I said this before, but once again does no harm:
As long as you like the body odor of your partner, the you're still in love.
And it has a scientific explanation to it.
Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Actually I've heard that to be true, also, keep in mind this sometimes changes in pregnancy .
I am still in love with my husband and it grows all of the time when I see his patience and strength of character...having a good sense of humour goes so far in a marriage, I think. He's not too stuffy but also not too serious. Everyone has their own connections, no two are alike Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I find that when the sex stops the relationship starts to deteriote.
Now there are a number of women and men who feel guilty for having sexual needs. Its not just sex when you have sex, its alot of communication and healing that goes on, sex is just the route in which much of our communication is actually delivered in a way that isn't lost like other in other forms of contact/communication. Many people feel required to hang in there when its not working, even if sex is the only thing that isn't quite working out.
In otherwords take sex out of the marriage you lose over 70% of communication. You can argue, but then it shows how little you value.
Second biggest factor is money. Life changes constantly and for all people; middle class, poor, and rich alike how our lives evolve is often around money. And people find that attitude callous and shallow, but I don't. When we were a batter civilization how we fixiated on gathering and acquiring our basic material needs were considered healthy, but when we created a fixed and inanimate tool for batering it became convoluted, twisted and evil? I am all for the fact that money is evil, but in reality is control over how the masses acquire their material needs and wants I find evil.
In the end is the fact that one partner or both partners find sleezy ways of squeezing the other partner out of acquiring their needs and wants just to show dominance and show disrespect. To my mother that $3000 antique she had to have was very important, an antique we couldn't afford so dad had to work an extra job for the entire winter that put him in the chiropractors office every week. But it wasn't communicated to anyone that the $3000 became important only after my father inadvertantly destroyed a family heirloom that was 160 years old and was the last deguroue (Metal portrait that pre-dated photograph technology) of our great grandfather the last Bishop of the Stockholm Lutheran Synod. It was a mistake, but to cover up her vast shame of being entrusted with this item and then to have it destroyed she fixtiated on a $3000 antique that later on everyone thought was ugly and useless.
Is my mother vain and superficial, no. Underneath it all she is unable to communicate her needs and feelings because she thought my father wasn't good enough for her to undestand her feelings and needs. In otherwords she is a stuck up b*tch.
Sex and money does matter. Get over it.
Posts: 991 | From: My daughter is a stalker | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
Do I still love my ex, hell no. Do I still like him, yeah; its fun to watch him eat the food that takes me hours to prepare in 5 minutes or less, he gave me an opportunity to become a woman, and he still hungers for the respect and love of our child.
Do I want him? No
Posts: 991 | From: My daughter is a stalker | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Albino_Eskimo: In otherwords take sex out of the marriage you lose over 70% of communication. You can argue, but then it shows how little you value.
You must be every guy's dream. Most women I know don't value sex that highly.
I think sex isn't that high on the list if all else is going right. If things are going wrong, then yeah, the value goes up, but you still can't have good sex without preceding positive interaction.
Posts: 177 | From: London | Registered: May 2006
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posted
I think you may have trust issues. I also think you could let yourself love him again, but don't want to lose the original battle. I don't really know you though.
-------------------- Happiness is a choice! Posts: 177 | From: London | Registered: May 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Albino_Eskimo: Do I still love my ex, hell no. Do I still like him, yeah; its fun to watch him eat the food that takes me hours to prepare in 5 minutes or less, he gave me an opportunity to become a woman, and he still hungers for the respect and love of our child.
Do I want him? No
Albino, cant u give him another chance when he return back to u?? consider him ur son..Even if he hurt u, you cant care for what ur son do to u...I'm sure He will call u again asking for forgiving...Good luck
Posts: 1007 | From: http://www.sultan.org | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by gentle_giant: I think you may have trust issues. I also think you could let yourself love him again, but don't want to lose the original battle. I don't really know you though.
You don't understand Islam enough to know he has annulled the marriage in various ways.
So he is the sinner for not actively ending the marriage in a legal sense and for not moving out when he annulled the marriage.
Islamically he isn't fit for marriage. I am, but he isn't.
Its not a trust issue of mine, its he who didn't step up to his Islamic responsibility and he is the one having the issues. Speaking to a third party, an Iman, we found out surprisingly I fullfilled my wifely Islamic duties without me being made aware that they were indeed Islamically required. These are things I had learned from growing up Lutheran with a very adherent Christian father.
The Iman wasn't shocked, he knows alot of Lutherans.
The word is out amoungst Arab Muslim Americans here in Minneapolis. I had two Egyptian males gushing over me "If you were my wife". Obviously the Jackass who was straightening the mosque's bookstore shelves right outside the Iman's office isn't as tight-lipped as he needs to be.
Posts: 991 | From: My daughter is a stalker | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by gentle_giant: I think sex isn't that high on the list if all else is going right. If things are going wrong, then yeah, the value goes up, but you still can't have good sex without preceding positive interaction.
I read once that if sex is good in a relationship, then it only accounts for 10% of the entire relationship. If it's bad, it accounts for 90% of the relationship.
Best for all of us if we can keep it good. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
Well I'll throw one in for an ex... were married very very young, for almost four years, separated two and a half before finally throwing in the towel. Do i love him... a part of me always will. Yes he hurt me *badly* . I dont like him exactly contrary to someone else who posted... right now and for a long time i dont like him, as a man, as a person, or his actions. I will however, a part of me always love him. Not in an i want you i want reconcilliation and to be with you kinda way, but in a deeper way. I think it is a G-d designed thing, there is a bond there, that has to be there... that never really dieappears, because we've been through so much. All the ups and ddowns, the birth of a child, and struggling together to raise him. I really do think this is a G-d designed thing. Then maybe thats just me.
Posts: 120 | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
Look, sex is important but not 70% of the relationship...I mean if one got cancer and couldn't do it, is the marriage 70% over?? No, sex is overrated of course, but it IS important to some extent. A marriage is an understanding of companionship, not CONSTANT AND OBLIGATORY sex all of the time...how ridiclous.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: Look, sex is important but not 70% of the relationship...I mean if one got cancer and couldn't do it, is the marriage 70% over?? No, sex is overrated of course, but it IS important to some extent. A marriage is an understanding of companionship, not CONSTANT AND OBLIGATORY sex all of the time...how ridiclous.
Smuck,
I am only 32, I think like a 32 year old. I don't think about cancer, not yet.
Sex is not overrated, and I consider it mandatory.
Companionship????? Here is where Judeo-Christian traditions have f*cked our minds up. Women want someone to listen and hold their hand. Men want a nice soft pair of lovies to sink into with someone to discuss the day with over a warm meal in the evening.
The gap between men and women is way tooooo wide. And I find its a massive delusion from the west that has been broadcasted through globalization. Not every man in the world has the finer points of companionship that western men have. I know of at least 15 different Asian international students who have told their families to f*ck off I am marrying my white or rye bread.
Smuck I don't know how long you have been married but this sugary sweet fantasy land of "I married my best friend" BS ends after 5 years of marriage. Very few western women understand that this glossy contrived notion of a girlfriend with a penis as a husband is really just a hyped illusion brought to you by hallmark.
Men have their good parts. Only western men will sit there and do the "dog and pony show" and be your girlfriend. Western men have enough stamina and masculinity to pull this off knowing later there will be your lovies opening wide as a reward for behaving like a fag for a few minutes.
Posts: 991 | From: My daughter is a stalker | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
The gap between men and women is way tooooo wide but after deep understanding of both sides they will narrow it.
Posts: 32 | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Albino_Eskimo: Western men have enough stamina and masculinity to pull this off knowing later there will be your lovies opening wide as a reward for behaving like a fag for a few minutes.
It's pillow talk baby.
Sometimes you seem much older, but we're the same age.
Posts: 177 | From: London | Registered: May 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Albino_Eskimo: Western men have enough stamina and masculinity to pull this off knowing later there will be your lovies opening wide as a reward for behaving like a fag for a few minutes.
It's pillow talk baby.
Sometimes you seem much older, but we're the same age.
We are not the same age.... I am 32 aren't you like 38 or so?
Pillow talk, heard of that... The Japanese had a book of that title written by a Geisha Madame.
I seem older because I grew up too quickly. Watch me fumble and fight with a light rail ticket dispensing machine and you'd think I was a 5 year old trapped in a woman's body. Posts: 991 | From: My daughter is a stalker | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: Look, sex is important but not 70% of the relationship...I mean if one got cancer and couldn't do it, is the marriage 70% over?? No, sex is overrated of course, but it IS important to some extent. A marriage is an understanding of companionship, not CONSTANT AND OBLIGATORY sex all of the time...how ridiclous.
Smuck,
I am only 32, I think like a 32 year old. I don't think about cancer, not yet.
Sex is not overrated, and I consider it mandatory.
Companionship????? Here is where Judeo-Christian traditions have f*cked our minds up. Women want someone to listen and hold their hand. Men want a nice soft pair of lovies to sink into with someone to discuss the day with over a warm meal in the evening.
The gap between men and women is way tooooo wide. And I find its a massive delusion from the west that has been broadcasted through globalization. Not every man in the world has the finer points of companionship that western men have. I know of at least 15 different Asian international students who have told their families to f*ck off I am marrying my white or rye bread.
Smuck I don't know how long you have been married but this sugary sweet fantasy land of "I married my best friend" BS ends after 5 years of marriage. Very few western women understand that this glossy contrived notion of a girlfriend with a penis as a husband is really just a hyped illusion brought to you by hallmark.
Men have their good parts. Only western men will sit there and do the "dog and pony show" and be your girlfriend. Western men have enough stamina and masculinity to pull this off knowing later there will be your lovies opening wide as a reward for behaving like a fag for a few minutes.
I don't really see the point of comparing West versus Eastern men in this topic. My Egyptian husband is much more of a companion than any Western man I ever dated back in 'the day'. I think it has to do with Character and whether the two people match well together. I don't believe I married my best friend and would never say that....I married someone who understands me or at least attempts to, whom I also understand, someone who cares if I am upset about something and understands the meaning of patience and responsibility. He could have been American or European or Egyptian or Japanese. One type of man doesn't hold the corner on those qualities. Now as far as your constant need for validation of your relationships through sex, that's a completely different story. It's almost as if you see sexual intercourse as a banquet and not the exchange of something personal and private between you and someone you might (hopefully) love. I don't know why that is and how you are always so lewd and anxious to shock everyone with your over dramatic constant need for sex and oral sex and stamina, etc. I know women like sex just as much as men, but you should also remember that some men do see sex as intimate and private and you talk about it like you're going to a banquet or a buffet.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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The word is out amoungst Arab Muslim Americans here in Minneapolis. I had two Egyptian males gushing over me "If you were my wife". Obviously the Jackass who was straightening the mosque's bookstore shelves right outside the Iman's office isn't as tight-lipped as he needs to be. [/QB]
LOL!!!!!!!!!!
Posts: 120 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2005
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The word is out amoungst Arab Muslim Americans here in Minneapolis. I had two Egyptian males gushing over me "If you were my wife". Obviously the Jackass who was straightening the mosque's bookstore shelves right outside the Iman's office isn't as tight-lipped as he needs to be.
LOL!!!!!!!!!! [/QB]
What spark a response like this?
Posts: 991 | From: My daughter is a stalker | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Albino_Eskimo: Western men have enough stamina and masculinity to pull this off knowing later there will be your lovies opening wide as a reward for behaving like a fag for a few minutes. [/QB]
Being British couldn't help myself, best friends are gay PMSL Posts: 61 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Albino_Eskimo: Western men have enough stamina and masculinity to pull this off knowing later there will be your lovies opening wide as a reward for behaving like a fag for a few minutes.
Being British couldn't help myself, best friends are gay PMSL [/QB]
Supposed to be out the door by now but...
Yeah loads of my neighbors are gay, male and female. I have more intellectually in common with the gay men, but seriously if a man had the developed capacity to sit there and discuss my theoretical interests in the manner a gay men can, then I would not be interested in sucking his dick.
And if you sit there and watch two gay men become interested in each other, pillow talk takes over and all intellectual discussions end (unless one of them isn't interested.
I don't know. But do women start on the pillow talk too when they are romantically or sexually interested? I have never been with a woman to know. And from what I have been told my approaches are not normal for a woman.
From what I over hear and what girlfriends tell me when they are getting to know a dude or want in their pants, pillow talk is different for each woman according to how superficial or earthy she is.
Men "pillow talk" seems to be taken from a universal script. Updated according to age, culture, and experience; but definately fine tuned to get what they want.
I am sorry, but gay men are gay for a reason.
Posts: 991 | From: My daughter is a stalker | Registered: Jul 2006
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