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My boyfriend is still missing since telling me he was leaving kuwait on the 6th Oct. He was due to be on the internet on Sunday. I have heard nothing and both his mobiles are switched off. I am very worried but something dosent feel right about this. Hence me posting this in the middle of the night I cant sleep or eat properly right now. I arranged for me and him a surprise trip on the 12th oct to egypt sharm. I was surprised when he said for me to cancel as he said intially he wouldn't be in egypt. Then he said he would be busy with the family and they came first. I was very lucky to get most of my money back. He also said he had signed another 3 month contract to kuwait he didn't tell me about it until he had done it. I have tried a few other numbers I have for some of his family members and work. I don't speak fluent arabic so I don't understand them. At the moment I dont know where the hell he is or anything. I am very confused. Can someone who speaks arabic please PM me so I can give them those numbers and they could make some discreet enquires. Then hopefully the mystery will be resolved.
Many Thanks
Posts: 142 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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OH BOY YOu KNOW THE ANSWER ALREADY .....DONT YOU ...i got a feeling what the will say here i hope is all genuine ......good luck ..so wehre are you in the uk now and was u flying our to egypt to see him ..for the susprise trip ....
Posts: 4597 | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by uklady: My boyfriend is still missing since telling me he was leaving kuwait on the 6th Oct. He was due to be on the internet on Sunday. I have heard nothing and both his mobiles are switched off. I am very worried but something dosent feel right about this. Hence me posting this in the middle of the night I cant sleep or eat properly right now. I arranged for me and him a surprise trip on the 12th oct to egypt sharm. I was surprised when he said for me to cancel as he said intially he wouldn't be in egypt. Then he said he would be busy with the family and they came first. I was very lucky to get most of my money back. He also said he had signed another 3 month contract to kuwait he didn't tell me about it until he had done it. I have tried a few other numbers I have for some of his family members and work. I don't speak fluent arabic so I don't understand them. At the moment I dont know where the hell he is or anything. I am very confused. Can someone who speaks arabic please PM me so I can give them those numbers and they could make some discreet enquires. Then hopefully the mystery will be resolved.
Many Thanks
I dont want to scare you more but that doesnt sound good...... I dont think he's serious anymore. he doesnt sound honest to me
Sorry about that.... if you need anything we are here for you.
Posts: 3128 | From: Not Your Heaven | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by uklady: My boyfriend is still missing since telling me he was leaving kuwait on the 6th Oct. He was due to be on the internet on Sunday. I have heard nothing and both his mobiles are switched off. I am very worried but something dosent feel right about this. Hence me posting this in the middle of the night I cant sleep or eat properly right now. I arranged for me and him a surprise trip on the 12th oct to egypt sharm. I was surprised when he said for me to cancel as he said intially he wouldn't be in egypt. Then he said he would be busy with the family and they came first. I was very lucky to get most of my money back. He also said he had signed another 3 month contract to kuwait he didn't tell me about it until he had done it. I have tried a few other numbers I have for some of his family members and work. I don't speak fluent arabic so I don't understand them. At the moment I dont know where the hell he is or anything. I am very confused. Can someone who speaks arabic please PM me so I can give them those numbers and they could make some discreet enquires. Then hopefully the mystery will be resolved.
Many Thanks
I hope it's because he's busy with visitng family etc.
Maybe you'll have to face the fact that it's over.
keep us posted and take care of yourself
Posts: 1474 | From: in my own paradise | Registered: Sep 2006
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It could be genuine I remember one time before I moved here I could not get hold of my husband for 3 days, It was hell and I had no other numbers but his mobile. I had phoned him and he said he was busy and could I phone back in half an hour. When I did the phone was switched off. I even sent a text message with delivery receipt on so I could check if the phone had been switched on at all. Eventually it rang and it was the most welcome sound of my life to here that ring tone. He had been picked up by the police and had not had his id papers on him so they had chucked him in jail. Eventually his mother realised something had happened, found his id papers and she went to the police and got him out after 2 days.
However I know of another story where a man told all sorts of elaborate lies because he just did not have the courage to tell the girl he did want her any more. Her friends could all see it but she believed in him totally.
Only you know your fella and know which one it is likely to be. Personally I think it is over
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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He has done this to me once before and left it 8 days before contacting me. I was obviously very upset and I dumped him. This was when he first went to kuwait he just disappeared one day and called me out of the blue as though everything was fine. He came crawling back and apoligised! He said he didn't want to make me sad. For 3 months while he was in Kuwait and up until the last time I spoke to him we were on good terms. He seemed happy! He did take notice of what I said before. But also I had a lodger move in short term which he said he wasnt happy with. But I did it to help with the bills. My lodger is a man. He said he didn't want to come here while he was here and was angry and jealous! We also argured a bit about the holiday in the last week I spoke to him. But for several days before his disappearance he has been saying how much he loved me and sending me love hearts on msn! So how strange is that!! He lives in Agamy near Alex if anybody can ring those numbers I have who speak Arabic. What do you guys think? I am so confused about this it just seems sooo odd.
Posts: 142 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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Ah I know you are so worried.Before my husband was allowed to come and live in UK I was lucky to be able to live in Egypt for 3 years. What I learned was, expect nothing to be normal as we know it, expect anything to happen, because it can there. Egyptians are very proud,generally religious, and usually cannot be manipulated! He will have serious issues with you accepting a male lodger. On reverse side, my friend had husband for 2 years, a right miserable so and so too. Recently he went into a phase of contacting her everyday when she had to return to UK for 2 months. He sent her sweet nothing texts, loved her, missed her.Went to the embassy to ask for his settlement visa- something she found almost impossible to make him do before. She got suspicious of his new lovely ways,went back to find he had started a relationship with another European,did a contract marriage with her. Then said he expected her to take this woman as his 2nd wife, and he intended to spend most time with her, but this woman had fired his desire to have lots of babies!!!!!!!! So, no news isnt always bad news. Calm down, send few more texts, and wait. Making phone call using someone else to speak for you, not good idea. They dont like personal things being talked about with strangers. Good luck
Posts: 319 | From: egypt/uk | Registered: Sep 2006
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Thanks for that advice! ok I will wait but his phones are switched off. I will send another email.
Posts: 142 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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Did you notice you only accepted advice form someone who told you what you wanted to hear.
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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Akshar no I didn't actually! What do you suggest? I just don't want to rock the boat but... I am confused!
Posts: 142 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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Well 4 people told you it was over and one said carry on keeping in touch.
I suggest you move on and forget him, he has done this before and will do it again. He is not worth it
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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UKlady, I think I have to agree with those that are telling you to move on from this. He doesnt seem like hes as committed as you are and that can only end with you being hurt more than you are now. Let him chase you, or better still, tell him to grow up or bugger off
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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when i first met my husband in egypt we have the time of our lives being in love.then i went back to the usa .the night after i came home i called him and he didnt answer. all week i didnt hear anything. i was panicing so bad . what he didnt love me anymore.??????? i finally got a call from my brother-in-law. he said he was in the hospital with phomiea . i didnt hear from him in 5 days.he had his brother finally call me and tell me he would be all right and knew i was worrying about him .so it can be anything. oh by the way we have been happy together for almost 3 years now. good luck to you uklady
Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
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he could be sulking about the lodger. You being a Brit they do seem to think we cant look at a man without ripping his pants off half the time so i wouldnt like to imagine what might be going through his head I wouldnt advise getting someone else to call in Arabic though, as said before they dont like thier business being discussed with others, so watch out for that.
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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OH AND FORGOT TO ADD GET PHONE NUMBERS OF HIS BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND 1 OR 2 FRIENDS THAT SPEAK ENGISH. I DID AND IF I DONT HEAR FROM HIM. I CALL ALL OF THEM AND THEY ARE ALWAYS WILLING TO HELP ME. MOST OF THE TIME THEY SAY HE IS SLEEPING AND THEN THEY WILL GO AND WAE HIM UP Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by uklady: I arranged for me and him a surprise trip on the 12th oct to egypt sharm. I was surprised when he said for me to cancel as he said intially he wouldn't be in egypt. Then he said he would be busy with the family and they came first. I was very lucky to get most of my money back.
That right there would make ME be the one to say it is over. If he loved you why on earth would he not want to see you???? Yes family comes first but geesh he can see you and his family. I would cut my losses hon but that's just me. Life is too short and there are other fish in the sea.
Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:The trouble is its horrible not knowing if something has happened (a genuine reason)
Also Why if he has dumped me? I thought we were good friends I have known him for nearly a year.
Just seems odd to disappear without no word thats all!
uklady Please do yourself a favor and move on .....The same thing happened to me ...only it was over a year we were together and one day *Poof* he was gone without any other word to me ..and thats been almost 3 months ago there is plenty more guys out there (just makes it harder to trust though) Again Good Luck, And God Bless You!
Posts: 108 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2006
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Yes it is ....but when you meet people online things like this happen ...for what ever reason rather it's for a green card,or just to see how nieve we are and will send them money ( I never sent any money myself) but there are the ones that do It makes you second guess life sometimes (and the people in it) Posts: 108 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2006
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sorry to hear about your news..Its natural to be worried and upset because you have not heard from him,word of advise dont keep chasing him with,he will come to you.My husband just dont leave me alone,always ringing and texting me,lol even rings me in the morning to say wake up lol.we both live in the uk so its much easier.Iam in london and he is in leeds.Going to see the imam soon for marriage when i go to leeds next month.Good Luck.
Posts: 224 | From: england | Registered: Oct 2005
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Well he is usually texting and calling me all the time apart from that one blip of 8 day gap! Thats whats so strange. I am so worried also because he had an accident a couple of weeks ago underwater in his job he cut a cable and electricuted himself underwater. He was down there for 2 mins they had to drag him out. It was so bad he was bleeding from the month and his eyes part rolled into the back of his head for 30/40 mins. He didn't get checked by the hospital he shrugged it off and said he felt ok. Thats why I also worried in case there was some injury and somethings happened now. He has been very realiable for the past 3 and half months since we had the one blip. Thats whats so odd.
Posts: 142 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by uklady: The trouble is its horrible not knowing if something has happened (a genuine reason)
I agree, that would suck. It would be best to at least find out for sure he was being a cad, if that's the case. Or you sit there wondering, should I be sad or angry as hell?
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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from my experience this man is married to a local woman in egypt and he was just having fun while he was working in kuwait without his wife and when things started to turn serious he flucked away.
posted
I am 100% sure he is not married. We worked together in Dubai orginally hence I know his background. I also am in contact with some of his friends there. He wanted serious! Long story.
Posts: 142 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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DID YOU ALLOW HIM TO TASTE YOU? IF YES, THEN HE IS GONNE. HE IS ON THE LOOK OUT FOR ANOTHER NAIVE WOMAN LIKE YOU
Posts: 9 | From: Dubai | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by non-egyption: DID YOU ALLOW HIM TO TASTE YOU? IF YES, THEN HE IS GONNE. HE IS ON THE LOOK OUT FOR ANOTHER NAIVE WOMAN LIKE YOU
SOUNDS LIKE HE LEFT KUWAIT AND IS BACK IN DUBAI NON EGYPTIAN GIVE HER A CALL AND PUT THE GIRL OUT HER MISERY.
Posts: 51 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
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Oh please!! Non egyptian no need to be so rude. It mite be true but have a heart. People sould feel comfy enough on this forum to give their stories with a bit of sensitivity back. Even if you feel she is being naive. UKlady i feel really sorry for you and understand how you must be feeling, and even if deep down inside you mite think it is over, you need closure. I think i mite know how you feeling, like if you think badly for him or your relationship and he is really hurt or something is wrong. Then you will feel guilty for thinking badly of him or your relationship. Without closure of some sort its very hard to let go.
Posts: 14 | From: England, London | Registered: Sep 2006
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I AM SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE RUDE. I WANTED HER TO WAKE UP TO THE REALTY. MEN ARE OPPORTUNISTS AND WHNE THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT, THEY LEAVE. IF UK LADY KNOW HIS PHONE NUMBER OR CONTACT DETAILS IN DUBAI, I MIGHT TRY TO CALL HIM AND CHECK HIM OUT AND LET HER OUT OF HER MISERY
Posts: 9 | From: Dubai | Registered: Jul 2006
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Thats exactly right pearls I feel there has been no closure. This is why I feel so bad. I would like him to speak to me then I will know. I just feel very hurt. I don't know whats going on with him right now. He should be in egypt by the way. Non-egyptian that was rude and not nice. You know when you are feeling sad its not nice to read things like that when you are hurting so bad. We arranged to speak last sunday no show. Only a week so I feel in limbo. Only he can stop this. It wasn't like that non-egyptian we were work collegues and very good friends.
Posts: 142 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by non-egyption: DID YOU ALLOW HIM TO TASTE YOU? IF YES, THEN HE IS GONNE. HE IS ON THE LOOK OUT FOR ANOTHER NAIVE WOMAN LIKE YOU
Yuck Posts: 3128 | From: Not Your Heaven | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by non-egyption: DID YOU ALLOW HIM TO TASTE YOU? IF YES, THEN HE IS GONNE. HE IS ON THE LOOK OUT FOR ANOTHER NAIVE WOMAN LIKE YOU
Snoozin, he might have a very stong point. Yes its rude in our culture, but in Arab culture this is a fact of life.
UKlady didn't note whether they had been intimate or not yet, nor did she state that she was a virgin.
Yet for non-egyptians is much more of a cut and dry issue. Arabs don't often cater to a western social system instead of their own, Egyptians have a tendancy to pretend that Egyptians don't judge western people on an Arab value system. But out of earshot from westerners Egyptians are judging the westerner in the same manner any Arab would. Arabs who aren't Egyptian are just far more straightforward and honest about it.
It is pretty darn ethnocentric thing to say, but most westerners on ES and any egy-board are extremely ethnocentric. Difference is Egyptians have a tendancy to play along, be a "little European".
It could just be UKlady is hanging onto a relationship because she takes it seriously, while he does not.
Posts: 3168 | From: If you don't like it, don't look or read it! | Registered: Oct 2006
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UK Lady, I understand what you are feeling believe me. I went through a similar situation with my ex-husband and it was awful. I completely understand that the "not knowing" is the worst part. My ex was a non-Arab by the way. I am married to an Arab man now and it's really the most wonderful relationship one could hope for. Alot of times relationships with people from different cultural backgrounds really struggle to work out, but sometimes they are wonderful. UK Lady, although it's hard to hear, what non-egyptian is saying may have a lot of validity to it.
What non-egyptian asked (in slightly different words) was "Are you having sex with him?". Yes, that is an intimate question - but from an Arab cultural perspective it's an important one. UK Lady, the fact of the matter is the majority of Arab men already have a stereotype in the back of their minds of Western women as "loose". Meaning Western women will give a man sex before marriage and think nothing of it. Is this always true in every situation? Of course not. But the reality is most Western women who are in "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationships DO engage in sex before marriage - because that is part of Western culture. And once this happens alot of times the Arab man's respect for the woman plummets. Obviously I realize that there are Arab men who engage in sex before marriage too. However, most Arab men, even if they engage in premarital relations with somebody, are NOT going to want to marry somebody they are having premarital sex with! Yes, I realize that is a bit of a double-standard. But that is reality. Virginity and "purity" of women is EXTREMELY important in Arab culture.
You mentioned that he is going to be busy in Egypt with his family and that they came first. How does his family (his parents, siblings) feel about you? Western people often gravely underestimate the importance of family (and the importance of family approval of prospective spouses)in Arab culture. And if his family has decided you are not "correct" for your boyfriend it is highly possible he will go with what they say irregardless of his feelings for you. Tough to hear yes, but that is another reality. I realize you said you have "some of his family members'" phone numbers - but them accepting you as his "friend" and them accepting you as his future wife are 2 totally seperate issues.
The fact that you have a male boarder in your house probably disturbs him greatly and this is something that I would never ever do. I would never want to be alone with any man other than my husband or my father. Even if you hardly interacted with this male boarder it doesn't matter. Just the fact that he is in your home with you is going to be upsetting to an Arab man. Please don't think I am judging your decision on this UK Lady. I'm just trying to explain to you that your boyfriend most likely was more upset about this then he let on and you need to try and understand his perspective and feelings on this. His feelings should be more important than you earning money from this male boarder (isn't it possible to find a female boarder instead?). It's possible he's also been carrying some anger around inside of him ever since he had to "crawl back to you and apologize" for disappearing for 8 days last time. Believe me, I am NOT saying that a man should just disappear on a woman and the woman not get upset about it. If it were me I would be quite upset too (and not eating and not sleeping). But irregardless of the situation I would never make or expect my husband to "crawl". (I see apologizing and "crawling" as two seperate issues by the way. If one partner has done something to hurt the other then of course that person should apologize. But then the other partner should accept that apology and be forgiving and move on. Both people in a relationship treating each other with respect is vital.) Arab men have a lot of pride and honor and if that gets damaged somehow by a woman (even if we did that unintentionally), some Arab men have a hard time letting go of it. They will hold it inside of them and continue to carry it with them for a long time.
Yes, it's possible that your boyfriend may turn up soon and have a reasonable explanation for why he was missing. However, I hate to say it, but the evidence appears to be pointing in the opposite direction. Meaning for him it may be easier to just disappear than to go through a long drawn out emotional "breakup speech" with you.
I'm American by the way - so I come from a culture and society quite different than the one I live in (and love) now. And I understand how easy it can be to only see things from your own point of view. To try and understand what may be going on with this situation you have to attempt to view things from his cultural background - even if those things are hard to hear.
I wish you the best.
Posts: 15 | From: UAE | Registered: Oct 2006
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For a first post ShyLady that was excellent, spot on and totally in keeping with the Arab mind set
quote:Originally posted by ShyLady: UK Lady, I understand what you are feeling believe me. I went through a similar situation with my ex-husband and it was awful. I completely understand that the "not knowing" is the worst part. My ex was a non-Arab by the way. I am married to an Arab man now and it's really the most wonderful relationship one could hope for. Alot of times relationships with people from different cultural backgrounds really struggle to work out, but sometimes they are wonderful. UK Lady, although it's hard to hear, what non-egyptian is saying may have a lot of validity to it.
What non-egyptian asked (in slightly different words) was "Are you having sex with him?". Yes, that is an intimate question - but from an Arab cultural perspective it's an important one. UK Lady, the fact of the matter is the majority of Arab men already have a stereotype in the back of their minds of Western women as "loose". Meaning Western women will give a man sex before marriage and think nothing of it. Is this always true in every situation? Of course not. But the reality is most Western women who are in "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationships DO engage in sex before marriage - because that is part of Western culture. And once this happens alot of times the Arab man's respect for the woman plummets. Obviously I realize that there are Arab men who engage in sex before marriage too. However, most Arab men, even if they engage in premarital relations with somebody, are NOT going to want to marry somebody they are having premarital sex with! Yes, I realize that is a bit of a double-standard. But that is reality. Virginity and "purity" of women is EXTREMELY important in Arab culture.
You mentioned that he is going to be busy in Egypt with his family and that they came first. How does his family (his parents, siblings) feel about you? Western people often gravely underestimate the importance of family (and the importance of family approval of prospective spouses)in Arab culture. And if his family has decided you are not "correct" for your boyfriend it is highly possible he will go with what they say irregardless of his feelings for you. Tough to hear yes, but that is another reality. I realize you said you have "some of his family members'" phone numbers - but them accepting you as his "friend" and them accepting you as his future wife are 2 totally seperate issues.
The fact that you have a male boarder in your house probably disturbs him greatly and this is something that I would never ever do. I would never want to be alone with any man other than my husband or my father. Even if you hardly interacted with this male boarder it doesn't matter. Just the fact that he is in your home with you is going to be upsetting to an Arab man. Please don't think I am judging your decision on this UK Lady. I'm just trying to explain to you that your boyfriend most likely was more upset about this then he let on and you need to try and understand his perspective and feelings on this. His feelings should be more important than you earning money from this male boarder (isn't it possible to find a female boarder instead?). It's possible he's also been carrying some anger around inside of him ever since he had to "crawl back to you and apologize" for disappearing for 8 days last time. Believe me, I am NOT saying that a man should just disappear on a woman and the woman not get upset about it. If it were me I would be quite upset too (and not eating and not sleeping). But irregardless of the situation I would never make or expect my husband to "crawl". (I see apologizing and "crawling" as two seperate issues by the way. If one partner has done something to hurt the other then of course that person should apologize. But then the other partner should accept that apology and be forgiving and move on. Both people in a relationship treating each other with respect is vital.) Arab men have a lot of pride and honor and if that gets damaged somehow by a woman (even if we did that unintentionally), some Arab men have a hard time letting go of it. They will hold it inside of them and continue to carry it with them for a long time.
Yes, it's possible that your boyfriend may turn up soon and have a reasonable explanation for why he was missing. However, I hate to say it, but the evidence appears to be pointing in the opposite direction. Meaning for him it may be easier to just disappear than to go through a long drawn out emotional "breakup speech" with you.
I'm American by the way - so I come from a culture and society quite different than the one I live in (and love) now. And I understand how easy it can be to only see things from your own point of view. To try and understand what may be going on with this situation you have to attempt to view things from his cultural background - even if those things are hard to hear.
posted
UKlady, listen, get in touch with someone who speaks Arabic and can help you in contacting your boyfriend or another person who knows about what's going on and his whereabouts.
No doubt you need an answer. Personally I would be frightened that he might had another accident. But as someone else mentioned he could also play a big game with you and you are too naive so you play along. He could have indeed a wife and even children somewhere you don't know. It happened to me before too and I was really mad when I learned the truth.
Also I would not like to stick with a guy I can't reach for a week and he doesn't have an interest in contacting me. This really means he's not into you. You need to re-evaluate your relationship, is all this headache and heartache really worth it?
Find out what happened this time and regarding to the outcome make the right decision. All the best for the future.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I have contacted one of his friends in Dubai who said he would make some enquiries and let me know. He told me not to worry. I have met 3 of the brothers including the eldest. He told me they all liked me alot. He didn't introduce me to the mother though. I think he felt he couldn't unless he was sure we were getting married or married.
Posts: 142 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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You see I was stalling a bit after reading things on this website. I wanted to be 100% sure!! Oh and I did advertise for a female lodger. He's knows I have students male/female here in the summer to. I was surprised by his reaction as he knows I have done this for many years. He orginally said he was ok with it.
Posts: 142 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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My husband introduced me to his mother and his entire family the first week we meet. We weren't even involved with each other that didn't happen for another 2 years. I would say not being taken to the family home is not a good sign at all. The more you tell us the more I can see no future for your relationship.
Of course his friends are going to tell you things like that, firstly they don't want trouble and prefer not to get involved, secondly they are on his side and prefer not to get involved, thirdly it is culturally unacceptable for a woman to behave like this so they prefer not to get involved, fourthly they will never tell you the truth in case it hurts you and they prefer not to get involved. Do you get a common theme here.
Ayisha warned you that he will not like you contacting his friends like this. You really need to get into the Arab mind set. They do not like their private business becoming public. You have made him lose face.
Why were you surprised by his action, he comes from a culture where a woman only lives with her father, brothers or husband. And you let total strangers into your house. His sisters would never have been alone with any man that was not a relative.
Even ex-pats living here know that if you have a male repair man in the house you must leave the front door open at all times. If you close it he takes this as a invitation to have sex with him. Whenever a male repairman comes to my house either my husband, brother in law or father in law accompanies him. My male cleaners do come into the flat but they were employed by my husband. when my husbands male friends come to our house and he is not there they will sit outside until he comes. Very occasionally men who are involved in my business come to my home but again my husband has made it quite clear who may come in to my flat and who can not. They and I know which ones are allowed.
please please if you are going to get involved with an Arab read something of his culture. they will often say things they don't mean or haven't thought about. Then when ti happens they will go crazy. He expected you to realise that having a man stay was totally totally unacceptable. Some things he would not even say because they are so obvious to him he didn't think of mentioning them. For example no one would say don't go to the supermarket wearing your bikini but it is such a ridiculous thing to imagine they it would never occur that it needed to be said.
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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So maybe he was lieing about alot of things better for me to find out now! The students who I often have in my house are foreign often Arab young men he knows this. He was ok with this. I have done this for many many years. I have travelled throughout the middle east I am not naive.
I am not going to post on here again. There is alot more to this story that I am not prepared to put on here.
I only asked his friend to find out if he had been in an accident or something nothing else.
Also my UAE national friend when I first visited dubai never introduced me to the family he said he couldn't as was a lone female. Only the second visit was I introduced to the family. Not everybody is the same.
Not
Posts: 142 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Why do women chase after men that have made it obvious that they no longer want anything to do with them. If and it's a big if he had had an accident and he had genuine feelings for you do you not think that he would have told his brothers/sisters/friends to contact you, and lets not forget you can use your mobile phone in hospitals in Egypt. The other scenerio is that he is unable to communicate because of the accident but then again if he was so fond of you surely his family would know about you and know how to contact you and let you know what is going on.
Posts: 167 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:Originally posted by sunburnt: and lets not forget you can use your mobile phone in hospitals in Egypt....
Is this the case? Oh my, this is not understandable....... Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Many people in UK hospitals use their mobiles phones too - esp. the doctors, and I've seen the Medical Director use his on the stairwell the other day.
Posts: 1056 | From: UK, Middle East & Europe | Registered: Jun 2006
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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
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there is plenty more guys out there (just makes it harder to trust though) Again Good Luck, And God Bless You!
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rather it's for a green card,or just to see how nieve we are and will send them money ( ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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