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Author Topic: Sex Workout *R*A*T*E*D*
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Please don't read this topic as you could get offended. Thank you.


Sex Workout [Big Grin]


Having sex is yet another great past time for burning up those unwanted fat producing calories...


REMOVING CLOTHES
With partner's consent... 12 calories
Without partner's consent... 187 calories

UNHOOKING BRA
Using two calm hands... 7 calories
Using one trembling hand... 36 calories

GETTING INTO BED
Lifting partner... 1.5 calories
Dragging partner along floor... 16 calories
Using skateboard... 3 calories

ACHIEVING ERECTIONS
For normal healthy man... 2.5 calories
Losing erection... 14 calories
Searching for it... 115 calories

PUTTING ON CONDOM
With erection... 1.5 calories
Without erection... 300 calories

INSERTING DIAPHRAGM
If the woman who does it is:
Experienced... 6 calories
Inexperienced... 73 calories
If a man does it... 650 calories
Add five calories for retrieving it from across the room.

POSSIBLE INTERCOURSE SIDE EFFECTS
Bouncing... 7 calories
Sliding around... 9 calories
Serious skidding... 12 calories
Whiplash... 27 calories

ORGASM
Real... 27 calories
Faked... 160 calories

ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE
Shoes flew off... 35 calories
Expression didn't change... 0.5 calories
Orchestra swelled... 6 calories
Birds sang:
Large birds... 7 calories
Small birds... 3 calories
Earth moved... 30 calories

PULLING OUT
After orgasm... 0.5 calories
A few moments before orgasm... 500 calories

PENIS ENVY
For woman... 3 calories
For men... 72 calories

GUILT
Banging your boss for a promotion... 30 calories
Sex during a 'sickie'... 10 calories
Bonking each other with parents in other room... 7 calories
Putting it on your expense account... 9 calories

AGGRAVATION
Partner keeps showing plant... 5 calories
Partner insists on dog cuddling during foreplay... 14 calories
Partner just visited bathroom for 7th time... 10 calories
Partner is taking phone calls... 7 calories
Partner is making phone calls... 40 calories

GETTING CAUGHT
By partner's spouse... 60 calories
By your spouse... 100 calories
Trying to explain... 55 calories
Trying to remain calm... 100 calories
Leaping out of bed... 75 calories
Getting dressed in one motion... 500 calories
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
FlyingTrucks
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corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ..have you all woman one SONO THE BONO aint gonna like this one shes all for all women site not men site... [Big Grin] [Razz]
Posts: 4597 | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Shebah
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LOL

--------------------
شكرا و أللام عليكم
شيبى
Posts: 2133 | From: Redneckland | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karemo7
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- i can undersatnd when new married man become fatter than past this mean he nead a viagra .
-and also i can deducte that women got too fat after marriage coz they don't do any effort during !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(you know).
Posts: 367 | From: cairo , egypt | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
amon alex
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great workout i like it [Big Grin] [Big Grin]
Posts: 164 | From: Egypt | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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quote:
Originally posted by amon alex:
great workout i like it [Big Grin] [Big Grin]
And - did some pounds drop already? [Wink]
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
High-Voltage
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Tiger,

Do you know where i get this in practice ? [Wink]
Posts: 238 | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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