I think most of you know my story with my Romanian girlfriend......She's a Protestant Christian......
She is under pressure from people in her church to end this relationship , they make her feel that she's doing wrong in the eyes of God by planning to marry a non christian !!!
This happened although I assured her that I'll never ask her to convert and that I'll always respect her religion.....
Not only this , months ago , her brother got married to an " Orthodox Christian " woman.....At that time , they also adviced him not to marry her cause she is from another church !!!!
Now , my question : While most of religions - specially Christianity - claim to be of love , tolerance , etc.......What I see ( the real life practice ) is descrimination and making barriers between people......
Do you really think that it would be good in the eyes of God to make barriers between people ???
Do you think that God would be happy for acting against simple human emotions in the name of religion ???
I don't understand this way of thinking.....
For me , God is love , tolerance and peace.....
But what I see from religions is discrimination , hate and intolerance.......
I believe they need a deeper understanding to their religion.......
Posts: 106 | From: Cairo - Egypt | Registered: Oct 2006
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This is more about how your girlfriend *views* religion rather than religion itself. Is she strong enough to stand up for what she wants? Or will she cave to peer pressure? As I said before, this is an inherent aspect of her personality you will need to accept. Because if it's not religion today, it will be some other issue tomorrow.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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It's not about how she views religion . But about how people in her church taught her religion .
She is very religious.......
I understand that. What I write sounds harsh, and I don't mean it to.
But she is an adult and ultimately responsible for her actions, her beliefs. It is a little worrisome to me that either you or she is blaming her church for her actions/her worries. She needs to be strong enough person to make the decision herself and stand by it.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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I wrote you in the other topic. Protestant Christians have very conservative streams. She is born and raised in a strictly conservative community. I happen to know how these people see mixed relationships, just like conservative muslims should do... Maybe it`s better to try to place yourself in such shoes: Try to imagine that your family is a very conservative muslim family and they don`t allow you to marry the one you want because she is Christian. People from your church are visiting you all the time, your family talks to you all the time, together they are trying to get this stupid idea out of your head. You don`t know much about the girl, because she lives far away. You have never been there, only you know that it is a poor country, so that is also a step in the dark. What would you do? Leave it all behind and go to a strange country, leave your parents, brothers, sisters, friends, work, etc. to step into a life what for sure will be very difficult? Where you probably won`t get a job? Where you probably not will be accepted? Would you do this? You`re telling us you love her. You want the best for her. Can you ask her to leave all behind, and you think you are able to give her a happy life, so she will forget all what she left????? I don`t think anybody can do that, how good his intentions will be. I don`t know you, but I think you have to think carefully about what`s IN you. You want the best for HER, or you just want your girlfriend with YOU... I mean, are you thinking about your own welness in the first place or hers?
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I understand your point of view......But you are stereotyping things....
First , her parents are Orthodox , she is protestant......She chose this religion since her childhood.......
2 - Egypt is not a poor country ( Romania is not a rich country by the way ) ....And I'm not poor myself......I'm a well known financial analyst in Cairo stock market........
3 - She will not leave her parents , they are living in another city where she see them only in holidays . Her brothers are also away from her . She lives alone in Bucharest away from her family and friends .
4 - She has a Master's in finance , so , I can easily find her a good job here as I have good relations in the financial sector......
So , she'll not live a desperate , poor and pathetic life as you imagine.......
posted
So, the only problem for her is the people of her church? What does she say about them? At what age she did made the choice to have another religion as her parents have?(Because this sounds strange to me, as far as I know you can`t exchange religions as a minor, neither make the decision to join a religion) How important is her religion for her? Didn`t she mention this right from the beginning? Has she always been clear in this? I mean, if you step into a relationship out of free will, she knew that this would give problems. Didn`t she take it serious enough? Or was it something like "fatal attraction"? Trying to avoid her feelings but not strong enough to resist them? And did you know?
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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This is why I don't think the blame should be placed on the church, but on the woman herself. *Blame* is a harsh word, but in her own way, she's making her own decisions.
Although I like Smuckers' point on another thread. Her hesitation might be a good thing. Let her take time to figure things out.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Tream Lefty: This is why I don't think the blame should be placed on the church, but on the woman herself. *Blame* is a harsh word, but in her own way, she's making her own decisions.
Although I like Smuckers' point on another thread. Her hesitation might be a good thing. Let her take time to figure things out.
She is making her own decisions, that`s right. But does she get the space to make her own decision? I am afraid that on both sides others are "working" to influence her, so that she feels pulled on her from two sides.(Or more) You can`t make a proper decision while this is going on! Maybe it`s best for her to leave to a place where nobody is able to influence her so that she can think it over and make the decision on her own.
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I understand your point of view......But you are stereotyping things....
First , her parents are Orthodox , she is protestant......She chose this religion since her childhood.......
2 - Egypt is not a poor country ( Romania is not a rich country by the way ) ....And I'm not poor myself......I'm a well known financial analyst in Cairo stock market........
3 - She will not leave her parents , they are living in another city where she see them only in holidays . Her brothers are also away from her . She lives alone in Bucharest away from her family and friends .
4 - She has a Master's in finance , so , I can easily find her a good job here as I have good relations in the financial sector......
So , she'll not live a desperate , poor and pathetic life as you imagine.......
So she is an independent, intelligent woman capable of choosing the right religion for herself from a young age and following it even though it's not the same religion as her parents. So whatever decisions she is making it is hardly because she is being influenced by people in her church. You have invited her to come and visit you but she is hesitating.
You need to add all those things together and respect the fact that she either needs a great deal more time to understand your way of life or she already knows it could never be right for her no matter what her feeling are.
You haven't mentioned the problem of children here, but if she is so strong in her faith she will want her children to be Christian. If she knows they will have to be Muslim then that will surely be one problem that can never be solved between you.
Have you stopped and asked yourself if maybe the advise she is getting IS actually what's best for her.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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Oh Sameh, you really have something here. I wished there was anything to say to do. It will all depend on how she is convinced that marrying you will work, that there is life outside Bulgaria, outside her Bulgarian church, outside her family. Your only chance is for her to come to Egypt and see what it is like. There probably is a protestant church she would like to go to (can you visit with her?). Your parents probably are nice to her (I know my Family in Egypt is always supportive to me and make me feel wanted very important if you have children together you can miss out on your mom terribly). If she can see for herself and wants to be convinced she is in a better position to stand up to her family. If they can see that this is what she wants they can choose to respect her choices. I would not solely rely on my partner either. I would want to know that I can have my space and resources for myself too. And you can always take her to a coptic church!:-) As an orthodox protestant I found a lot of my own background and more. The wellthought sermons, the love for Jesus, the sense for community, sundayschool. Or maybe it is more 'western' and agreeable for her to attend an international church, English or French, so the language want be that much of a problem. I applaud you for your creative thinking how to solve roadblocks on your way to a happy life. I do hope you will succeed. But in the end it is her decision to join in with you and start resolving some of her own problems to reach you too.
Posts: 1419 | From: Amsterdam, Netherlands | Registered: Aug 2003
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Sameh stop whining! Obviously your "girlfriend" does not love you! If she did she'd be here in Egypt like I am with my fiance. Just stop this melodrama. Either she loves you or not,otherwise, shut it!
Posts: 833 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2006
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LMAO @ Josette, listen whore no one wants your type of "love". Now shut your gonaherpesyphilaids ass up! Enjoy Egypt!
And Sameh seriously I think you are wasting your time on here asking an opinion of people who don't even know your gf, time that could be better spent talking to her.
Posts: 1879 | From: Going to Graceland | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Josette: Sameh stop whining! Obviously your "girlfriend" does not love you! If she did she'd be here in Egypt like I am with my fiance. Just stop this melodrama. Either she loves you or not,otherwise, shut it!
from the S L U T who went off and had sex with a stranger, and hasn't told the fiance. Had that aids and std tests yet???
Posts: 1474 | From: in my own paradise | Registered: Sep 2006
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Sameh, I'm Christian and I would have no conflict with marrying someone outside my own faith. If you actually read the first verse quoted on that website listed, it said God supported Moses marrying a non-Israelite.
The bottom line is that to make it work you both cannot try to insist the other converts. If one or the other wants to that's one thing but if she's afraid of what she hears and reads, she may be afraid you'll pressure her to convert is Islam. You need to reassure her that you love her for everything she is and respect her for her choices.
Good luck!
Posts: 370 | From: Other side of reality | Registered: Dec 2006
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There are more then one ways to explain the words of Jesus. The classical Christians were not peacefull, tolerant and loving as they claim to be. In fact this doesn`t matter for her, it`s what she think`s it`s most important: her religion or her relation... What`s first???
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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?????, why do you say that she has to chose whats more important? Dont you think that you are kinda of using double standards? I've read many of your postings to woman who have dilemma with egy men, why dont you tell him what you tell the woman...Im not trying to be rude, I just want to know what is up with the double standard.
Posts: 1121 | From: Too crazy to look at a freakin map to find out.. | Registered: Sep 2006
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Then I hope all priests and preacher stop talking about tolerance and claiming that Christianity is about love and tolerance....
They simply act against the message of Jesus the Christ !!!!!
Why you use the chance to criticize another religion now? Look at how restricted Muslims view interfaith marriage.....
Your friend knows what she wants that's why she's so unsure. Don't force a decision on her. And it doesn't even seem she's been willing to come and visit you in Cairo. As I said you before best for your Romanian friend is to find a man within her religious community.
Sometimes things are not meant to be even if we wish so much upon on.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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No it does not prohibit it. It is a matter of personal conscience and belief. Many different faith couples have happily blended their families with a little work and understanding and respect.
Posts: 58 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2006
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Christians should not be unequally yoked. It says so in the Bible. Now whether your girlfriend chooses to follow that, who knows.
Posts: 833 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Rumicrazieluv: ?????, why do you say that she has to chose whats more important? Dont you think that you are kinda of using double standards? I've read many of your postings to woman who have dilemma with egy men, why dont you tell him what you tell the woman...Im not trying to be rude, I just want to know what is up with the double standard.
Think you don`t understand what I mean, it has nothing to do with double standards. The way people think about their religion is personal. Using items out of a religion and using them because they suit you at that particular moment while leave the rest what doesn`t suit you, is double standards. In this case there is no double standard.The man in question is no gigolo, he has a good job and this has nothing to do with the internetlovers or beachboys fron the red sea-area`s which we see so often.The lady is religious and is doubting about her relationship with somebody from another religion. 1st. Her religion does not allow marriages with somebody from another religion. 2nd.She knew that before she started this relationship. 3rd.For reasons we don`t know, she decided to start that relationship.
So, what can she ask herself? Why did I start that relationship ? Was it because the attraction was more strongly then my believes? Or was I wrong in the opinion from people around?
How independant, educated, intellegent etc. the lady might be, don`t think that continuesly talking into her by others will not have effects! She can be as strong as she wants, but when people around keep talking into her, working on her conscience, trying to convince her, she surely will have doubts.
Leave it all behind and step into an unknown future?
She can ask herself what`s more important to her,as a person, and that has NOTHING to do with double standards.
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Sameh A: Hello all......
I think most of you know my story with my Romanian girlfriend......She's a Protestant Christian......
She is under pressure from people in her church to end this relationship , they make her feel that she's doing wrong in the eyes of God by planning to marry a non christian !!!
This happened although I assured her that I'll never ask her to convert and that I'll always respect her religion.....
Not only this , months ago , her brother got married to an " Orthodox Christian " woman.....At that time , they also adviced him not to marry her cause she is from another church !!!!
Now , my question : While most of religions - specially Christianity - claim to be of love , tolerance , etc.......What I see ( the real life practice ) is descrimination and making barriers between people......
Do you really think that it would be good in the eyes of God to make barriers between people ???
Do you think that God would be happy for acting against simple human emotions in the name of religion ???
I don't understand this way of thinking.....
For me , God is love , tolerance and peace.....
But what I see from religions is discrimination , hate and intolerance.......
I believe they need a deeper understanding to their religion.......
it has to do with how the children will be raised. the church wants to ensure the children will be raised to be christian, and of course if you are muslim we know you can't allow that to happen right? (you did't specifiy your religion I'm guessing by your name). It isn't about discrimination hate or intolerance, it is about wanting to keep the family and family line christian, muslims do the same things....
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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I'm not criticizing Christianity in particular... But ANY religion that prohibits inter faith marriage IS INTOLERANT AND DISCRIMINATIVE.......Islam is the same.....Judaism is the same...
I really wonder how could a priest keep talking about tolerance and love , then when it comes to real life issues , he acts against love and tolerance.....
Don't tell me about the Bible........Ok , slavery is allowed in the Bible.....Polygamy was aldo allowed and mentioned in the Bible.....
Why don't you buy a slave ? let your husband to marry 10 women ? Why don't modern societies burn or stone any woman who had premarital sex ? Kill all gays ?
Weren't they all mentioned in the bible ????? !!!
Whether my believe is that the so called holy books are God's words , or just written by some tribal leaders , is not what our topic is about now . BUT if you chose to believe in these religions , then , you need a modern understanding of the religion . If you chose to believe in the bible , then you have to chose what's applicable in our modern ages and what's not...
As you talked about Islam and interfaith marriage , I also believe that Islam MUST allow the Muslim woman to marry a non Muslim..... I also believe that Islam - in its current version - is not tolerant at all !!!!!!
Josette ,
you said : " Christians should not be unequally yoked. It says so in the Bible :
There was no word like " Christians " at the time of writing the bible.....So , this is the interpretation of the church , not the real christianity........The church " Hijacked " christianity and turned it into a discriminative religion , instead of the global , tolerant message of Jesus the Christ......!!!
And even if it was interpreted like that in the dark ages , we need new interpretation and new understanding of christianity to adapt to the modern life ......
posted
Sameh, ever heard of the Nag Hammadi scripts? It tells about a much more tolerant way of believing. In fact it doesn`t know demands, it`s a kind of buddhistic way to look at life. Some disciples and followers of Jesus thought this was the way it was meant to be. Other preachers and disciples were making their own version, and the Nag Hammadi scripts dissappeared for a long time. Actually they were found again in Egypt, after nearly 2000 years. In my opinion any religion has the same basic-rules of goodness, tolerance and understanding and if everybody lives in that way, we can all get along with each other.
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I'm not one of the common ( red sea ) guys you always hear about.....I'm a stock market analyst , successful and highly educated .....I'm a usual guest on financial news channels and financial newspapers in the Middle East......
My girlfriend is also a decent and highly educated lady......At the same time , she's very religious......She never had a boyfriend , she dresses modestly , etc....And she has done all this out of her faith......
We had much in common , attraction at first sight.........We met by a strange coincidence when I was in a business trip in Bucharest....
And if you was watching our dates.......We spent hours and hours talking and enjoying our time , then SUDDENLY she stop smiling , thinking deeply , and start telling me things like : " I'm afraid I'm doing wrong in the eyes of God by meeting you....etc " So , she has a real feelings of " GUILT " for loving me......And this is influenced by people of her church......She told me that when she told them about us ALL OF THEM advised her to end this relationship.......Only her friends who are not religious advised her to continue....
Her brother also had a similar problem.......He was in love with an " Orthodox Christian " woman......So , his church people " Protestant " kept advising him not to marry her.....And when he married her , they refused to make the marriage in the church , so , he got a civil marriage !!!!!
Can you imagine the intolerance ?????? Not only towards Muslims , but even towards Christians of other streams !!!!!
So , this is the real reason of the problem........She told me several times that she wanted to be with me , but she's afraid that she was being guilty in the eyes of God......And God will punish her , etc.....!!!!!
" She can be as strong as she wants, but when people around keep talking into her, working on her conscience, trying to convince her, she surely will have doubts. "
That's absolutely right !!!!!
With a name like Smuckers ,
" it has to do with how the children will be raised. the church wants to ensure the children will be raised to be christian, and of course if you are muslim we know you can't allow that to happen right? "
I believe in letting my children CHOOSE by themselves.......Whether it was Christianity , Islam , Judaism , Buddhism.......I don't really care.......Although , personally , I hope they will not choose any of these religions.....Just to believe in God and follow their own hearts !!!
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If you want or need(!) your life run by others you have to consider family and churchmembers. Although you may find yourself in the cold when it really matters.
I nursed an elderly woman once that twice had the same experience. She was engaged to be married to this boy in her congregation. Some of the elders quaralled over some dogma and the congregation split, leaving the couple on different sites of the parties involved. It happened to her again with her next spouse-to-be. She ended up unmarried and kept her rigid upbringing into her old age. Having nightmares holding on to scary visions of endtimes. I felt sorry for her and tried to lift her by singing with her and telling about the love of Jesus and the grace noone can fall out of. Sometimes I managed to get a smile back and a sigh of relieve for a moment before she started to panic again. Not a very joyfull existence I may add. But one has a choice in life. You can reach to happiness and fall sometimes or stay in the cold forever. I believe we can choose love en joy. But I can also see that there is a charactermatter involved.
Posts: 1419 | From: Amsterdam, Netherlands | Registered: Aug 2003
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I don't want my girlfriend to end like this one day !!!! You know , many times I feel sorry for her , she's really hurting herself with this way of thinking.....
She once told me that she was sad cause for long time no men seemed to notice her !!! Do you know how she did explain this to herself ?? She thought that God was punishing her for lack of spirituality and that she'll never have a family !!! Can you imagine this ???
And now , when she finally found love , she's ready to stop it again for religious issue !!!!
I don't know who are those who taught people that God is fear instead of love ??? !!!! That God is always punishing , not helping ??? !!!!
Who are those damn people who HIJACKED Christianity and turned it into a hard religion !!!
The message of Jesus the Christ has nothing to do with this way of thinking......
I'm not a Christian , but I have great respect to Jesus the Christ......His message was about love and tolerance.....
Now , I think that Christianity is different....That's not what Jesus the Christ wanted.....At least I'm sure he wouldn't approve separating people and breaking love in his name !!!
posted
For someone to be in love with a "Christian" you sure do bash Christianity alot. I think you best take your whining and mousey-like persona and get lost.
Posts: 833 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2006
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I am sorry Sameh, but I don`t think anybody here can give you a good advice. The problem is with your girlfriend, and as long as she lets other people decide how her life should be, and makes religious items of her doubts and personal feelings, nobody can. It may sound bad, but this is the way strictly religious people really are and supposed to be. Don`t think, it`s all in God`s will... In fact it`s the same as in that fatalistic incha-allah saying... All people who think this way,are forgetting 1 important thing: whatever your religion is, your God gave you the capacity to think for yourself, to make decisions for yourself and to live as you think is best. That so called final judgement shall be made on HOW you did it. And I think no well thinking God or person shall say it`s wrong to love another human being. It is ASKED to do so... I wish you strenght...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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Sameh, the much similiarities you seemed to have seen in the beginning of your relationship you need to come more and more to the conclusion that you are both also very different. And sometimes the differences like in this case - religion - plays a very important part. If you can't find together, can't find agreements about certain aspects in life then don't force it.
Your Romanian friend has a strong belief and also she doesn't want to disappoint her family and church by 'going astray' and marrying a Muslim. She obviously likes you a lot, otherwise she would have never started a relationship with you.
But think about, how long can you both go on like that, someone's feelings gonna get eventually really hurt - so just make the right decision.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Sameh A: I really wonder how could a priest keep talking about tolerance and love , then when it comes to real life issues , he acts against love and tolerance.....
I always find it strange that many people on here make weird generalizations because they don't realize that there are different Christian denominations that practice their faith differently.
Many Christians do NOT follow the Old Testament. And the majority of Christians does NOT take the Bible literally.
I only know a few Christians who think that interfaith marriages are forbidden and they are Coptic Orthodox. And people of different faiths get married in churches all the time – with the blessings of a priest.
posted
When a problem leads to a major dilemma, psychological suffering will follow, and because of the incapability to handle, people will fall back into their believe. In anybody`s life situations arise, that can get such a problem. This can be anything; social, political,economical. It`s in a human`s mind to search for the reason why, and sometimes there is simply no such a thing.People don`t want to live in uncertainty. In this case people think only one thing offers that certainty : the religion. In need people pray...there is a reason why people in need ( like poverty, war, illness) escape to their churches. When everything is going allright, when there are no problems, people often forget their religion. It is not a major item anymore... So, the lady seems to have a dilemma, falls back into her believe, and does not know what to do. I already told about the mental influencing of people around, how that shall get results, and I think it`s bad. Because this is not what religion is about, and her far away fiance can`t do anything then wait, be patience, give answers when necesarry. I think he also has to realize that this can take a long time, the longer it takes the more unhappy she will be. It`s horrible to be in such dilemma`s, for both. The only thing what seems judicious to me, is try to give the lady a time out, alone, with nobody around to influence her. She has a good brain, maybe the rest will lead her to a decision. It`s sad...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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Saneh, I am a Christian married to an Egyptian Muslim, after living in Alex we relocated to the UK. If your partner wants to PM me I would be happy to assist
Posts: 66 | From: London | Registered: Jun 2006
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Im Christian and my boyfriend is Muslim, I have been with him for 2 years. I was planning on going to Egypt in 8 weeks and have already got my plane tickets. For the last 3 months all he wants to talk about is religion, and he pushes and forces me to talk about it wanting me to be a Muslim. I dont believe like that and I dont try to convert him. We have talked about marrying and our lives together but not once has he said what he said last night. He told me that now he has conditions on marrying me, (one) Our kids would be raised muslim and that is Ok with me. 2 he said that I could never ever discuss my beliefs with them or take them to church and they had no choice in it. So it ended last night, I cant accept that I will be silenced by him. So now I have 2 tickets to Egypt for 8 weeks from now. My heart is broken, 2 years he has never told me that. People have told me that this would happen and he would try to control me and force me his way. So many Christians I think advise people like me to avoid getting into relationships with people of such different beliefs because it causes trouble ,heartache like im in now and that it would slowly get worse and it did. I love him as he is ,I wish he could love me as I am. I am so heartbroken , no way can I go to Egypt in 8 weeks and not be with him. Everyone I would see would remind me of him. Everyone I would hear would remind me of his voice. I pray he will come back to me and say he will allow my voice just as his, and respect each other evenly. He is all I know and I am so heartbroken.
Posts: 45 | From: kentucky usa | Registered: Oct 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Sameh A: I started to think seriously about giving up !!! I think I need a more openminded woman !!!!!!
And how is your girlfriend? Is she unhappy with this situation? Does she talk about her thoughts in this? Emotional? Rational?
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by myheartwillgoon: Im Christian and my boyfriend is Muslim, I have been with him for 2 years. I was planning on going to Egypt in 8 weeks and have already got my plane tickets. For the last 3 months all he wants to talk about is religion, and he pushes and forces me to talk about it wanting me to be a Muslim. I dont believe like that and I dont try to convert him. We have talked about marrying and our lives together but not once has he said what he said last night. He told me that now he has conditions on marrying me, (one) Our kids would be raised muslim and that is Ok with me. 2 he said that I could never ever discuss my beliefs with them or take them to church and they had no choice in it. So it ended last night, I cant accept that I will be silenced by him. So now I have 2 tickets to Egypt for 8 weeks from now. My heart is broken, 2 years he has never told me that. People have told me that this would happen and he would try to control me and force me his way. So many Christians I think advise people like me to avoid getting into relationships with people of such different beliefs because it causes trouble ,heartache like im in now and that it would slowly get worse and it did. I love him as he is ,I wish he could love me as I am. I am so heartbroken , no way can I go to Egypt in 8 weeks and not be with him. Everyone I would see would remind me of him. Everyone I would hear would remind me of his voice. I pray he will come back to me and say he will allow my voice just as his, and respect each other evenly. He is all I know and I am so heartbroken. [/QUOTE
I can tell you one of that cliches that everybody shall give you in this situation: Be happy that this is happening before a wedding... It shall not comfort you. Wish you the best.
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Sameh A: I started to think seriously about giving up !!! I think I need a more openminded woman !!!!!!
I suspect you are right, all these great questions you asked trying to make it work. Yet we have never seen her post her. She does not seem to have the commitment you have
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:Originally posted by myheartwillgoon: Im Christian and my boyfriend is Muslim, I have been with him for 2 years. I was planning on going to Egypt in 8 weeks and have already got my plane tickets. For the last 3 months all he wants to talk about is religion, and he pushes and forces me to talk about it wanting me to be a Muslim. I dont believe like that and I dont try to convert him. We have talked about marrying and our lives together but not once has he said what he said last night. He told me that now he has conditions on marrying me, (one) Our kids would be raised muslim and that is Ok with me. 2 he said that I could never ever discuss my beliefs with them or take them to church and they had no choice in it. So it ended last night, I cant accept that I will be silenced by him. So now I have 2 tickets to Egypt for 8 weeks from now. My heart is broken, 2 years he has never told me that. People have told me that this would happen and he would try to control me and force me his way. So many Christians I think advise people like me to avoid getting into relationships with people of such different beliefs because it causes trouble ,heartache like im in now and that it would slowly get worse and it did. I love him as he is ,I wish he could love me as I am. I am so heartbroken , no way can I go to Egypt in 8 weeks and not be with him. Everyone I would see would remind me of him. Everyone I would hear would remind me of his voice. I pray he will come back to me and say he will allow my voice just as his, and respect each other evenly. He is all I know and I am so heartbroken.
I'm sorry about that. I think it might have been a bit different if he was older. Take good care of yourself...OK?
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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No , she's not happy about this situation . But she is very obsessed with religious issues !!! Although , I'm not religious myself !!! I can call myself ( Deist ) or simply , I believe in God , BUT NOT in religions...!!! At the same time , I assured her several times that I'll never ask her to convert - to what ? I don't know since I'm not a believer in one of these religions !!!!
BUT the Dam*** ( people in the church ) are keeping brainwashing her !!!!!
Damn it , she talked to me about them more than she talked told me about herself or her family !!!!!!
And she's in stupid feelings of GUILT for dating a non christian !!!!
At the age of 25 , she NEVER had a boyfriend cause she was TOLD in the church that she must be guided by her religion NOT by her heart or feelings !!!!
What a gray life !!!!!
And she kept telling me things like : the bible said that we must marry IN JESUS !!!!!
OMG......He died 2000 years ago !!!! How can I marry her IN HIM ?????????? And how could I live with such mentality !!!!!
She's not happy.......But I think these thoughts of the church are very strong power on her......They make her always afraid of GOD'S punishment and and afraid of love !!!!!
myheartwillgoon ,
Sorry for the problem you had . It's somewhat similar to mine !!! But my advice to you , don't end a promising relationship for stupid religious dispute . In my opinion , this " religion " issue is overvalued !!! Remember that your " TODAY " life shouldn't be controlled by a book written thousands of years ago !!! I hope your boyfriend can understand this.......He is similar to my girlfriend......Very strict religious , closedminded and ready to lose love for religion !!!
Akshar ,
" Yet we have never seen her post her. She does not seem to have the commitment you have "
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Sameh, feelings of guilt are brought in by religions. Every rule has to be followed, if not, you`re a sinner... Of course many rules are written thousand years ago, and more important, they were wrote in several ways! There are different stories, kept out of her holy books, because it didn`t suit them! That same Jesus was in a relationship with a Jewish woman who was brought up in a whorehouse! This fact didn`t fit in the story, so they left it away. When I was married, the priest gave me a copy of the R.C. Holy Book. My uncle told me that it had to be two parts, but the missing part was quite forbidden, because it had that kind of story`s inside. So, they tell you what they think you can hear and skip the rest. Your girlfriend does not seem to be this far that she can also look at it in an open way. She just acts like they want her to act.They give orders, she follows. Quite amazing for a person with a good pair of brains. I am afraid she only can change this when she gets out for a while. Sometimes it is needed to take distance, you can think better when nobody`s around to influence you. But does she want that???
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I am very sorry MyHeart and Sameh, But I am sure you need to have your foot down on these issues or you will be in trouble later on in your relationships as some of us found out. I am very much opposed to religion ruling your life, love and respect should and I sincerely believe you have God's blessing in living love and respect. If religion is an obstacle it is way over the top. We have religion to help us grow as humans and spiritual beings not to be an obstacle in our lives.
Posts: 1419 | From: Amsterdam, Netherlands | Registered: Aug 2003
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I think it might have been a bit different if he was older. Take good care of yourself...OK?
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