posted
I'm too tired to list them now, but lets hear what you think are important things to be asked, before saying "yes" to a marriage proposal from an Egyptian/Arab man.
Posts: 3291 | From: I DO believe in Karma! | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
1. whats your religion - this mattered to me, i asked if he was shia, he replied, no, Sunni, so i proceeded. 2. do you go to school? 3. what are you studying? 4. what does your dad do? your mom? 5. tell me about your family. 6. how long have you been in America? 7. how far have you been with a girl? 8. where do you want to settle, here, or back home? 9. why would your parents accept me, a non-Egyptian to be your bride? 10. how will your family treat me? 11. how will we raise our children? 12. will they go to private or public schools? 13.how important is religion to you? 14. will you raise your children with my culture as well as yours? 15. will you want me to wear hijab? what if i don't want to wear hijab? 16. will you make our daughters wear hijab? 17. if i don't like egypt, can be move? 18. will you let me work? 19. if i don't want to work, will you support me? 20. what are your political views? 21. what are your views on homosexuality, abortion, interfaith marriage, race... etc
Posts: 1967 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
Well here's a list from the New York Times:
Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking: 1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver? 2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh? 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores? 4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental? 5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect? 6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears? 7) Will there be a television in the bedroom? 8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints? 9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education? 10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends? 11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship? 12) What does my family do that annoys you? 13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage? 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move? 15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
Questions seems a bit one sided but subjects you should discuss
1) love, commitment to each other 2) what country you want to live in 3) children 4) religion 5) family, relationships and financial support 6) alcohol, bacon, 7) clothing 8) future plans
or the alternative list
1) what is your bank account number so I can transfer my life savings to you 2) can I get a stick so you can beat me 3) where can I buy the black sheet to cover myself with 4) where is the embassy so we can apply for the visa 5) what are the names of your other wives
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
Akshar - these are spot on. If you're going into this with your eyes open, you need to have explored and shared your views and opinions on all of the first 8, and know that what you hear is generally what goes for life.
Both of your attitudes to all of these things are not to be taken lightly, in the hope that you can change/moderate each other. I've heard a lot of stories recently about people agreeing to one way of doing things, but when reality sets in, they backtrack, which just paves the way for a whole lot of heartache. If you get things clear and establish what are the important values that colour your own life and that of your future husband/wife, then you stand a far better chance of a long and happy future together .
Failing that, then be prepared for another few points to be added to the second list!
Posts: 463 | From: Other side of nowhere | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
not met a man yet who can match up to a bacon butty and a half of lager!
Posts: 1056 | From: UK, Middle East & Europe | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: 6) alcohol, bacon,
I know it sounds crazy but if say you are a Christian and he is a Muslim it could be a real issue and quite indicative of extremism in any case. If your parents brought a bottle of wine to dinner (igorance not insolence) would he crack it over their head, accept it in the spirit is was meant and not drink himself or get drunk on it.
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
1. have you heard of ES? 2. are you a member? 3. how many usernames do you have? 4. how many usernames have you 'married'?
Posts: 549 | From: charm el feikh? | Registered: Apr 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Mrs C: 1. have you heard of ES? 2. are you a member? 3. how many usernames do you have? 4. how many usernames have you 'married'?
"Does your mother still have you attached by the umbillical cord?"
Posts: 3168 | From: If you don't like it, don't look or read it! | Registered: Oct 2006
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Is it all his way/your way, or no way. Is there and will there be room for compromise?
Posts: 3291 | From: I DO believe in Karma! | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
This is all so analytical. I didn't ask ANY questions before I got married. Didn't even think about it. We did know each other for five years though.
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
^^ agreed. i totally rushed into my marriage, been with him about 3 weeks... im sure i could see pink hearts popping around us... no problems yet!
Posts: 549 | From: charm el feikh? | Registered: Apr 2006
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