posted
I've never studied this topic, but im just going on what ive observed in my life. I notice that alot of girls I know that are having trouble in their lives- everything from excessive drug use, abusive partners, self mutilation, being promiscuous, etc- 9/10 times they have either poor father figures, or no father figures at all.
Why is that? do you guys think thats true? is is the same for boys?
Posts: 1967 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
I think a good father figure is important, but not just any father.
I think that a single parent can bring up well rounded children, but that he/she has to be very honest and not carry around resentment, which is easier said than done.
I also think that the things you describe are part of societies ills, and although the breakdown of families has some part in that i think its more about dispersed communities and lack of support generally.
basically its down to the individual parent or parents, but obviously if its a single parent then there is more often a greater strain on them as they are doing the work of two people so are more likely to be stressed out etc.
I think the world would be a better place and we would see less of these things if people just started to care about their neighbour a bit more, so yes, if families split, they still supported each other and if someone is bringing up a child on their own people helped them.
The world is becoming so individualistic and as a result people turn to other things out of lonliness, its sad, very sad Posts: 1017 | From: uk | Registered: Mar 2006
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For me ,i cant live without my dad .i love him soo much ,he is very special .He helped me alot in my life ,However we fight alot .But i love him from all my heart .After we fight ,i go and beat my self ,and ask my self why i fought wiz him and shouted at him .I am the only one in my brothers and sister that i fight wiz him a lot ,But i love him more than my brothers do .I love him more than my mum .Love u dad soo much .
Posts: 224 | From: egypt/cairo | Registered: Nov 2006
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Awwww Ali that is sooooo sweet. You are going to make a great dad! Awww I just want to hug you now.
Posts: 833 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2006
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posted
My friend that is something of a wiseman tells me that mother is most important before puberty, and father is most important during and after. After some thinking and observation, I find that I agree.
Posts: 345 | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Graf_Genn: My friend that is something of a wiseman tells me that mother is most important before puberty, and father is most important during and after. After some thinking and observation, I find that I agree.
My father was at his best when I was a young girl before puberty. I really needed him at that point.
After puberty kicked in a distance was built between us by my biology and that could've been a good thing.... if I had a good relationship with my mother, which I didn't.
I find it odd how men don't see gender as an issue in parenting yet won't carry the same level of responsibility in parenting at any age of the child.
Posts: 3168 | From: If you don't like it, don't look or read it! | Registered: Oct 2006
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my dad died when i was 7 and i miss him every day and most of the times i wish he was here cause i know he would have been a rock to me but im feel a comfort wheni look at him on picture every day and not a single day goes by with out me thinking of him ... ihave a wonderful step father of 28years now and love him to bits but i didnt have that father type of relationship to him ..so i cant answer much here but yes i know my father would have been my foundation and my rock .. god bless him .. sandra .xxxx
Posts: 4597 | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
I believe fathers are truly an important part of their daughter's life, good fathers teach us how to have healthy relationships with men later in our lives. A caring father is something that we choose to emulate in our future partners. There is that saying that girls marry for their father. Meaning if you had a wonderful kind father, you will choose the same in a prospective mate, while if you had an abusive father oftentimes you find yourself in that situation with the men in your love life. I know this is not the rule, of course there are always exceptions, however I have found it to ring true more often than not. Luckily I have a wonderful, sweet, kind father, and would truly be lucky to marry a man such as him. Hopefully I will meet him soon. Posts: 1879 | From: Going to Graceland | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:I find it odd how men don't see gender as an issue in parenting yet won't carry the same level of responsibility in parenting at any age of the child.
Sorry, but this is not a true statement in any form. When my wife passed, I raised my sons alone. I have a buddy whose wife passed and he raised his 2 daughters alone.
Posts: 3595 | From: Moved To Mars. Waiting with shotgun | Registered: Dec 2006
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quote:Originally posted by chimpsandherbanana: my dad died when i was 7 and i miss him every day and most of the times i wish he was here cause i know he would have been a rock to me but im feel a comfort wheni look at him on picture every day and not a single day goes by with out me thinking of him ... ihave a wonderful step father of 28years now and love him to bits but i didnt have that father type of relationship to him ..so i cant answer much here but yes i know my father would have been my foundation and my rock .. god bless him .. sandra .xxxx
aw, chimps! My dads father died when he was 6 years old- his mother never remarried and it was my dads uncles who took them in and raised my dad. But he still cries whenever he talks about him- it must be a difficult thing to grow up without a dad Posts: 1967 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
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quote:I find it odd how men don't see gender as an issue in parenting yet won't carry the same level of responsibility in parenting at any age of the child.
Sorry, but this is not a true statement in any form. When my wife passed, I raised my sons alone. I have a buddy whose wife passed and he raised his 2 daughters alone.
Thats because your wife died. You became two parents. If your wife was alive would you have put that much effort into parenting?
Posts: 3168 | From: If you don't like it, don't look or read it! | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
I too think its unfair to gender stereotype, the main reason men dont usually bring up their children is because for many years courts have been in favour of the mother, I know a few single fathers who are just as dedicated to their children, sometimes moreso than some single mothers, and these are single father by relationship breakdown. I personally think that men should be given equal custody of their children, if that is what they want, the law is too in favour of women in parenting and that is not always in the best interest of the child. Many women abuse this fact and take it as a god given right to 'possess' their children and even use them as a bargaining tool, or threaten fathers with access. Custody should be given on merit, not gender.
obviously i am talking from a western perspective, i know the laws in egypt are different, but again, i feel it should not be based on gender.
Posts: 1017 | From: uk | Registered: Mar 2006
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