posted
We started talking online last year and we have chatted on and off ever since. Recently my Egyptian male friend started sweet talking me and saying that he hoped to one day study in the US. He even asked me if I would ever consider dating him if he were here, and I said sure since we seem to have fun chatting. Then he dropped a bombshell on me and asked me if I could send him 50 dollars for a certification test he needs to take. I have just finished college and barely have any money, but I did not feel comfortable sending him money since I have never met him in person. He was sweet talking me when we chatted tonight, that is until I told him I could not send him money, and then he said he had to go. I guess he really just was sweet talking me because he was hoping I would send him cash.
Posts: 6 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2007
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quote:Originally posted by SandiSarah: I have just finished college and barely have any money, but I did not feel comfortable sending him money since I have never met him in person.
Nope. Those are not the reasons why you shouldn't send him a dime. The reason is that he's a parasite who's wasting his life on chatting up women instead of going out to look for a job.
Tell him to go work as a male cleaner.
Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by MK the Most Interlectual: Nope. Those are not the reasons why you shouldn't send him a dime. The reason is that he's a parasite who's wasting his life on chatting up women instead of going out to look for a job.
Tell him to go work as a male cleaner.
Maybe that was male weiener?? Posts: 2404 | Registered: May 2006
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quote:Originally posted by imagine: probably.... 1 year is a long time to chat to get 50 dollars though....
Yeah, but once that tap's open, you never know what the next request will be!
EXACTLY
I had a very similar experience, but instead of online chatting, we used to meet for coffee, dinner, or just hanging out, and she was always very sweet, till she told me he mom is sick, and in a vegetable state at the hospital, and told me all her mom's money is in the bank but the bank wouldn't let them take out the money unless the mother is awake, and sign on any transaction, and the hospital needs money or they will through her out, I asked to visit the mother in the hospital then she said , no visits are NOT allowed, I offered send a specialist to treat her , she said, the doctors treating her are good but the problem is the hospital fees, I suggested moving the mother home and I would help by sending a nursing service, and that was not good either, I ever offered to send a lawyer to get a court order to declare her mom legally incompetent so the girl would be able to access the money in the bank, but that was not good enough, The ONLY thing that could have helped was to LEND HER 20,000 in CASH. No credit card, no checks, and you cant go and just pay the bill, hand me the money in my hand and I promises I will pay you back, I called up her friends, and three of them collaborated her story, and refused to tell me even what hospital the mother is in, so I figured out she was not working along, she had many compresses, and I was their final target for a big scam, but unfortunately for them they thought , I wouldn’t offer another, alternative and more dignified way of helping a friend in stress than give out money, plus I suspected the sudden change in affection and how much she turned out to be “Deeply in LOVE with me” conveniently couple days before the Alleged mother goes to the hospital. It was a scam that was over 8 months in the making,
Posts: 785 | From: Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Thanks for all the comments. I feel that maybe this person had more money than he claimed because he mentioned that he ate at Hardee's and McDonald's every day of the week, but I have done some research and found out that most Egyptians could not afford to do that every day in Cairo. If I am wrong please tell me because I am only going off of some research that I have done on the net and I have never been to Cairo.
Also, he hinted that he did not know how he would pay for his next two certification tests and that his old job used to pay for these things. He claims now that he is a software engineer and only makes $90 dollars a month. I asked him if he could borrow money from his employer, go to the bank to get a student loan, or get a second job, but all of these options were impossible he claimed. Well I signed back onto yahoo just now and he has not sent me any emails of instant messages, which is a large departure from every day in the past. I really believe I should not have talked to someone that long on the Internet again because I think I was just wasting my time doing that. However, I am a little dissappointed he asked me for money because I was becoming interested in his culture and learning how to cook Egyptian food. He seemed like a fun person to chat to, but that is probably because he was buttering me up so he could ask me for money later on. Have a great day and thanks again.
Posts: 6 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
The certification-costs depend on the kind of institution, and various in this. Private instititutions are more expensive, of course. There are even special projects to get young men into a job, who refund the fee partly after a succesfull term. ( 1/3 refund, total amount EP 1.500) Second jobs are NOT impossible, but often it is more easy to get money for free instead of working for it. All this is telling you a story about his (bad) mentality. At first it is the honour of a man never ask a woman for money, at second, as soon as joining a course, you have to pay in advance, just like every normal school, institute or university will do right here.
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
Dear Sandi, Let me clarify some points here: 1- His story is 100% fake, if he is planning to be to the US, how can afford for ticketing, accomodation, university .....etc. if he cannot manage to get $ 50.
2- This kind of parasitism started several years ago in the far east in certain countries, then moved to Middle East. they spend all their day chatting with some oponnent geder ladies trying to get small money values "to make it easier decision for the victim" he might tell you one day he needs some money to pay for a cyber cafe so he can meet you online.
You did the right thing. and the best will be to drop him away.
Another good thing to do , do not let this rubbish give u a wrong impression about his nation. Thank you
-------------------- Last Knight Posts: 139 | From: Cairo | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
I agree 100% with MK. Listen to her. Her priorities in this are correct. You deserve better. Also, everyone else here is right too. It's so obviously a scam. But I have a feeling that you know that now, but still would like more info on what Egyptians do make. So I will help you the best I can. Where I lived and my friends were not in Cairo, but a smaller city and village. So this may or may not help.
I paid 1 1/2 LE/ small pckg of coffee.
1-2 LE/1 large bag of bread. (10 or so breadsticks)
Taxi in city 1 1/2LE/trip
Taxi about 10 min was around 20 LE/trip
1 1/2 LE/ large bottle of water
1 liter Coke or Pepsi about 5 Le/bottle ???
This is from memory, could be off a little. I can't remember right off everything else, but you get the picture. I don't really remember, because it was very rare that I paid for anything. Most of it was done for me.
Rent in village. Nice furnished apartment was in the neighborhood of 150-200 LE/month My huge aprtment in city with stone floor, doorman, iron locked gates, elevator, 3 br, 2 bth, 2 balconies, a/c, etc.......1500.LE/month
Average rent in Cairo for decent furnished apartment is around 800LE/month. From what I've been told.
When I was there, I was offered a job. That paid 20LE/hr. As many hours as I wanted to work. Ok that is more than most Egyptians make, but still........... If they were willing to pay me that per hour, then what do they charge for those lessons? Surely a software engineer could afford that?
Also, when we were all sitting around pharmacy talking about the job, pay, what average Egyptian earns, etc. Well the average person made like 150-200 LE/month. Don't know if that meant villager or what..........
Also I know personally a bank manager who makes 40 somthing thousand LE/yr. But again this is not in Cairo, but a smaller city.
This is just what I've been told by the people themselves. I know it's not much. Maybe you can get a better idea. I know there is a lot of variation here too. But that just goes to show, that it greatly depends on the area where he lives. In Cairo, outside areas in village, etc. Just a small 10 or 15 minute trip to village can make such a huge difference here. Not like here in the ststes. Where a 15 min trip doesn't mean so much. So you have to find out the details and consider all given info.
Are you more confused now? I hope not. Just trying to throw out general but broad facts.
HTH if not ignore. LOL
-------------------- شكرا و أللام عليكم شيبى Posts: 2133 | From: Redneckland | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
hi there im sorry thias happenend I actually had this with a nigerian girl penfriend, she asked for money , she was having a baby and had no money at all i felt sorry for her, and send a small contribution, im to soft, and wanted to help, but then she asked more, i said no, i never dio it second time around Good luck
quote:Originally posted by imagine: probably.... 1 year is a long time to chat to get 50 dollars though....
Yeah, but once that tap's open, you never know what the next request will be!
EXACTLY
I had a very similar experience, but instead of online chatting, we used to meet for coffee, dinner, or just hanging out, and she was always very sweet, till she told me he mom is sick, and in a vegetable state at the hospital, and told me all her mom's money is in the bank but the bank wouldn't let them take out the money unless the mother is awake, and sign on any transaction, and the hospital needs money or they will through her out, I asked to visit the mother in the hospital then she said , no visits are NOT allowed, I offered send a specialist to treat her , she said, the doctors treating her are good but the problem is the hospital fees, I suggested moving the mother home and I would help by sending a nursing service, and that was not good either, I ever offered to send a lawyer to get a court order to declare her mom legally incompetent so the girl would be able to access the money in the bank, but that was not good enough, The ONLY thing that could have helped was to LEND HER 20,000 in CASH. No credit card, no checks, and you cant go and just pay the bill, hand me the money in my hand and I promises I will pay you back, I called up her friends, and three of them collaborated her story, and refused to tell me even what hospital the mother is in, so I figured out she was not working along, she had many compresses, and I was their final target for a big scam, but unfortunately for them they thought , I wouldn’t offer another, alternative and more dignified way of helping a friend in stress than give out money, plus I suspected the sudden change in affection and how much she turned out to be “Deeply in LOVE with me” conveniently couple days before the Alleged mother goes to the hospital. It was a scam that was over 8 months in the making,
I am sorry you invested 8 months into this relationship. Did you file a police report?
Posts: 3168 | From: If you don't like it, don't look or read it! | Registered: Oct 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Last Knight: Another good thing to do , do not let this rubbish give u a wrong impression about his nation. Thank you
Thanks for the good advice. I still am interested in learning more about Egypt because I have met many wonderful Egyptian people who live in the US. They all seem very nice and friendly. However, I will be more careful about the people I talk to online because scam-artists can be from anywhere. Thanks again for all the good advice everyone.
Posts: 6 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
He probably did not ask only you. Maybe he asked several ladies, this could be his income. Some women actually do send money without ever meeting a man, some women even marry a man they have never met in real life... People do stupid things all the time.
You seem to be very strong woman for telling him firmly "No" and suggesting him other options, however, he asked, you refused, life goes on for him. And for you to, right? Well, with you that seems not to be the case.
Your terrible mistake is that after he asked you for money, you became very interested in why he "really" asked you, why he chatted with you for so long, why did not he "appear" online, you wonder if he is "really" sincere, is he for "real", and so on, and you may even chat with him again! You doubt your own judgement and want to make sure that he is really not into you!
Then instead of blocking him off totally from your messanger You are doing things that will lead you into things you don't want in your life, and that's in my opinion - stupid. The good thing about all this is that you - asked people here, although people here will tell you excat same thing you already know.
Let me add, I like your honesty, however you lack communication skills in relations with others ( in this case him ) because you could of asked him all these questions and shared your feelings and opinions on this matter during 12 months of chatting many many times!! You got to practice how to ask and take control of your life, instead of "hoping" that it's maybe this and maybe it's something else.
He is not into you. You will be amazed when you ask a man a question, what he might tell you! He would probably get lost earlier if he knew you would not be so generous.
Also, it's not attractive to rescue men from their poverty or inability to make it in Egypt ( or anywhere else ) because there are tons of men who made it, and if he is not the one well whose fault is that? Certainly not yours. You may even help him by telling him the Truth.
Tell him directly: You surely do NOT send money to any man, regardless of situation, only a man can send money to you, of course you would not take it, but it's more appropriate for a woman to be pampered than to be used. Good luck. Posts: 182 | From: LA/Alex | Registered: May 2003
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posted
yes but what about the women who keep sending money just to win the heart of the family and the MAN ,do you think they look at her as shes RICH or what or is she a sucker for her own good ..takes two types as well ....i never ever sent my husband money and for one think hes not the greatest person in my life at the moment but he knever asked me for money ..BUT HE HAS IT ALL NOW ....oh how love is bliss KEEP IT COMING you all .... next episode part 2.. you kNow what i have actually passed caring im juSt living for the day i nearely lost something more precious to me than any MONEY canput on take mk's advice .....?????
Posts: 4597 | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
If a woman gives money to impress, they will take money and forget about her other qualities because that woman teaches them how to love her for what she gives financially not for who she is as a person. They may never desire to know her because she keeps them busy thinking about what they might get, instead of how to share and care for her. Whose fault is this?
Giving but not financially is the best way for a woman to build a relationship with a man or anyone in fact because relation doesn't rotate around her being a "financial provider".
I think woman should never send or give money to any man or his family unless it's to her minor child, like under 18 or so. Because it’s not attractive to rescue a man (to a man) and a woman becomes in this case feeling "used" because she resents him for that! A woman wants to feel that she is not obligated to be a "financial provider" but rather a nurturer, and from my knowledge 99% of men feel uncomfortable to accept money because this makes them feel - INADEQUATE.
If they don't feel uncomfortable that's a problem, because the question remains, why? Most people think that asking for money reveals your needs and your weaknesses thus you appear "vulnerable", they often dislike the very same person who gave them money/help them because such person makes them again inadequate.
It's better for a woman to nurture then to provide, unless that is for her own self or children, but for a man, he has to work and figure out things otherwise he is worthless. Now, family matters should never be judged according to how much money you send.
1st of, do not teach family ever that you as a woman just because you have should help and share your money.
Let them love you for you. That means, cooking instead of buying prepared food if they cook for you only, small stuff, calling if they call you, I mean, you got to make assessment when and how appropriately to assist and share your likings without involving money.
And if they don't then they would not love you anyway even if you transfer your whole inheritance or retirement. People simply can't fake true love and affection for a long time. Posts: 182 | From: LA/Alex | Registered: May 2003
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quote:Originally posted by welsafty: I had a very similar experience, but instead of online chatting, we used to meet for coffee, dinner, or just hanging out, and she was always very sweet, till she told me he mom is sick, and in a vegetable state at the hospital, and told me all her mom's money is in the bank but the bank wouldn't let them take out the money unless the mother is awake, and sign on any transaction, and the hospital needs money or they will through her out, I asked to visit the mother in the hospital then she said , no visits are NOT allowed, I offered send a specialist to treat her , she said, the doctors treating her are good but the problem is the hospital fees, I suggested moving the mother home and I would help by sending a nursing service, and that was not good either, I ever offered to send a lawyer to get a court order to declare her mom legally incompetent so the girl would be able to access the money in the bank, but that was not good enough, The ONLY thing that could have helped was to LEND HER 20,000 in CASH. No credit card, no checks, and you cant go and just pay the bill, hand me the money in my hand and I promises I will pay you back, I called up her friends, and three of them collaborated her story, and refused to tell me even what hospital the mother is in, so I figured out she was not working along, she had many compresses, and I was their final target for a big scam, but unfortunately for them they thought , I wouldn’t offer another, alternative and more dignified way of helping a friend in stress than give out money, plus I suspected the sudden change in affection and how much she turned out to be “Deeply in LOVE with me” conveniently couple days before the Alleged mother goes to the hospital. It was a scam that was over 8 months in the making,
posted
No Egyptian man worth his salt, will ever ask you to pay for anything(within reason). Any man who does deserves a slap right across his face!
Posts: 833 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2006
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posted
But if u can afford to pay for things u want to do together and he can't afford it then why shouldn't u pay?
Posts: 209 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2007
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quote:Originally posted by audbod: But if u can afford to pay for things u want to do together and he can't afford it then why shouldn't u pay?
You're looking at it from a Western point of view. You have to look at it from the Egyptian upbringing point of view that the man is the head and the responsible one and the supporter, anything less is a shame. I think if you've been married years and years and both work and have a family and of course then, that's different, but not this situation.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by audbod: But if u can afford to pay for things u want to do together and he can't afford it then why shouldn't u pay?
Sharing expenses is very different than some scumbag of a man actually begging a woman for money, there's nothing lower.
Posts: 2404 | Registered: May 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Carmen Elektra: Some women actually do send money without ever meeting a man, some women even marry a man they have never met in real life... People do stupid things all the time.
And some men too. I had two male friends abroad with whom I chatted occasionally. The other one was registered at a dating site where he actually stated his annual income in his public profile, there was a specific box you could fill that in. So how stupid is that. He was complaining to me that so many ladies sent him just messages for asking money. Tadaa, what a surprise! One woman asked him to send her money for a flight ticket, he didn’t fell for it.
Another one actually sent money to a woman who asked for it. He did know though that she did not care for him only his money. But he felt sorry for her. I guess in the end it’s your own business what to do with your money.
Posts: 758 | From: Finland | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Yes a big turn off for me to if somebody is broke. I agree also 100% with Carmen any nationality of man who asks a woman for money from the start is a loser!! You have to set ground rules from the start otherwise maybe be taken for a mug!
Posts: 142 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Just as a follow up I would like to make it clear that my Egyptian friend knew I never wanted to give him money. I think maybe he was IMing several girls at the same time and just thought he would ask all, hoping one would respond. Looking back I realize alot of times he got things mixed up when we talked and asked me about places, events, and people that were not related to me.
Also I would like to address that several people rated me a 1 out of 5 as a member and I thought that was sort of small. I only came here to ask a question and if people thought so low of me they should have left me a private message telling me why. I am a good girl and a nice person, but I guess only people I know in real life care about that. Anyway, I am no longer worried about the fact "my friend" asked for money because as one of the people said life goes on. This rating system has taught me that in the future I will only ask my friends questions and not a forum. However, living by the golden rule is best I think. I have been a member of other forums were I was an expert on a subject and always treated a novice with respect and kindness. I took what they said to heart and gave them the advice I could. There were some really nice people on here that gave good advice and I am thankful to them.
Posts: 6 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
I was not involved in your topic but I do wish you luck. Sounds like (from reading above) that you saw through this person almost immediately. Life does go on, best of luck to you.
Posts: 50 | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
I was not involved in your topic but I do wish you luck. Sounds like (from reading above) that you saw through this person almost immediately. Life does go on, best of luck to you. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks Jewel of the Nile! Hope you have a good rest of the weekend.
Posts: 6 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
SandiSarah! Don't worry about the rating thing, it's total crap. You can turn it off, I did with mine, just go to your profile and there is a tab you click. I'm glad you were smart enough to figure out the situation on your own. I'm positive you have a lot going for you, so don't worry about what anyone here thinks about you. Have a great day.
-Sarah
Posts: 1879 | From: Going to Graceland | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by MK the Most Interlectual: So you didn't fall for it.
Standing ovation.
nope < I didn’t, although I felt very guilty the first 2 days because I was skeptical and i was questioning her, I thought of myself as being an asswhole who have the means to help someone in need and still wouldn't do it" I don’t know, maybe I would have fallen for it if the girl had played the con in much more convincing way, she could have hired someone to pretend to be her very sick mother, and allow me to visit,
quote:Originally posted by al-Kahina : I am sorry you invested 8 months into this relationship. Did you file a police report?
no I didn’t of course, first , because she haven’t coned me, do you know that one of the reasons Con artists don’t get caught is because the victims are almost always very embarrassed to report it and make everyone know they ware sooo gullible and got coned .
I think maybe if this girl was successful in Conning me, I would be very very embarrassed to even mention it , and would be very difficult to admit I was sooooo stupid naive and gullible
Posts: 785 | From: Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Alchemist: SandiSarah! Don't worry about the rating thing, it's total crap. You can turn it off, I did with mine, just go to your profile and there is a tab you click. I'm glad you were smart enough to figure out the situation on your own. I'm positive you have a lot going for you, so don't worry about what anyone here thinks about you. Have a great day.
-Sarah
Thanks for letting me know this. You sound like an intelligent woman I am glad there are other people who thought the rating system was pointless. I am going to do that with my profile.
Posts: 6 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Alchemist: SandiSarah! Don't worry about the rating thing, it's total crap. You can turn it off, I did with mine, just go to your profile and there is a tab you click. I'm glad you were smart enough to figure out the situation on your own. I'm positive you have a lot going for you, so don't worry about what anyone here thinks about you. Have a great day.
-Sarah
I am glad there are other people who thought the rating system was pointless.
What do you mean pointless . The rating system is designed so that new members can quickly recognize good from bad members. It is a Democratic tool available to all member and is a form of feed back. What is a board without a rating system . People scarified their time, energy and talents to make this happen. The board was not created with rating system...NO, it took lots of courage to implement this fair system. Whatever happens, always believe the rating system Posts: 465 | Registered: Dec 2006
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quote:Whatever happens, always believe the rating system
I think it's bogus. Why? I had rating of like 4.?? with a certain number of votes. Then I have a little tiff with someone here. The next day, My votes are up like about 8 and well my rating down to 3.??
So multiple user names can easily screw someone.
Did you ever notice how the ones that have all 5 stars are the ones that are rumored to have MUN's?
lol
I thought I was liked? Posts: 2133 | From: Redneckland | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
the rating system is ridiculous. don't worry SandiSarah after i made my first post i got three 1 star votes within 24 hours. silly to judge someone on their first post. oh well.
Posts: 83 | Registered: Feb 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Alchemist: I see yours is turned off Auto.
It's not turned off. What made you think that? I have so many stars that the system is not able to display them. You're just gonna have to take my word for it. Posts: 465 | Registered: Dec 2006
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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
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Are you more confused now? I hope not. Just trying to throw out general but broad facts. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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) because there are tons of men who made it, and if he is not the one well whose fault is that? Certainly not yours. You may even help him by telling him the Truth.![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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. The rating system is designed so that new members can quickly recognize good from bad members. It is a Democratic tool available to all member and is a form of feed back. What is a board without a rating system 
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