posted
Hello. I have been reading this forum for about a year now. I stumbled across it looking for information about visiting Egypt someday as a tourist. It has been very helpful in many respects. And I am prepared to be flamed by many of you calling me an idiot. But - well - here is my story. I am a 44 year old divorced American woman living in the USA. I have been chatting online for 4 months with a 27 year old Arab man who lives in Cairo. His father is Turkish and his mother is Iraqi. He was born in Iraq. His story is that he played tennis as a pro from the age of 16 to 24. Then he worked for FedEx and got involved translating for the US Army/Marines. He was threatened several times for giving assistance to the USA and is living in Cairo because of this. His family still lives in Baghdad. He has been in Cairo since August 2006. He is attending a university in Cairo. He told me the name once but I have forgotten it. He already has the equivalent of a Bachelor's Degree (in american terms) but is pursuing his Master's degree in English Literature. He is living on the money he earned as a pro tennis player. I have chatted online with several Arab/Egyptian men so I have been thru the scam stuff before. However - this time - yikes - I'm starting to think this might be more. Maybe I am just going thru a stupid phase or something but needed to get advice from someone and who better than this forum. He says he does not want to move to the USA and the only time marriage has been discussed is when I said I didn't know if I would like to live in Egypt. He said on those occassions that he would not be able to live in USA without a visa via marriage. I asked him what was involved in a marriage between an American and an Arab (just to compare what I have read here) and he gave all the right answers about going to the Ministry of Justice and the Embassy, etc. He even mentioned that marriage contracts drawn up by lawyers were not true marriage contracts, etc. I have told him several times that I don't have any wealth, I work full time to support myself, etc. He wants me to allow him to pay for my ticket to Cairo to meet in person and see if I have feelings for him. For now - he seems to want me to meet him in person and consider moving to Cairo to live with him there. He claims he wants to "take care" of me and that he wants nothing from me financially. I am a cautious person by nature and would never commit to anything until I was very sure. However - I am very tempted to travel to Cairo to at least meet him.
So - am I crazy? Or could this be real? I know many of the women that post on this forum have successful and happy marriages to Egyptian men. However - what I am unsure about - is how did they meet? Are any stories like mine ever successful or are they all scams?
Help! (And please be nice. I really need some honest but nice advice). Thanks!
Posts: 1 | From: Florida USA | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well Brandy, If you want to see for yourself, take up his offer on him buying your ticket. If he actually does it, i believe that that would be indicative of how serious he is and how much money he has. B/c it doesnt really seem to make sense that hes living on his "pro-tennis" money. What does his father do? What would his family say about you marrying him? B/c in all honesty, im sure you know that a man marrying a woman almost 20 years his senior isnt normally socially acceptable in Egypt. (Or Iraq, or even turkey i would imagine). He may say that he doesnt want to live in the U.S., but he could be simply putting up a front for now. So if you are really feeling something for the guy, check out the relationship in the flesh and blood. but DONT marry him the first time you go there- this should be an evaluation. I met my guy at college in the U.S., and even though i would call it "love at first sight" i had to make sure that I knew everything was Kosher. I had to makesure that his father was a dentist like her told me, that his mom was ateacher like he told me, that he lived in such and such a city, that he such a such student, etc. That was almost 3 years ago, and we're not married yet. You've got to get to know the guy- b/c unfortunately, theres alot of cruel people out there who will try and take advantage of other people. If your guy is willing to take it nice and slow, and with you seeing him a couple of times before proceeding into something serious like marriage, try it out.
But if he puts up a fight, i think you know somethings not right.
best of luck Posts: 1967 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well Brandy, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'd take him up on the ticket to go see and Egypt and then forget all about him. I mean the potential visa issues for a beneficiary from Iraq would be enough to keep me awake at night. You have to consider that you will potentially be tying up years of your life for him to even get a visa and still there is no guarantee. Alternatively, I don't know what his immigration status is in Egypt, but I know many Iraqis are wearing out their welcome in neighboring countries. How long will Egypt allow him to stay? Furthermore, he may at some point want to go back to Iraq, can you really envision yourself living in that hellhole? I mean I'd normally say go for it, but some things just arent't meant to be. You can PM me , I just left Egypt and had been dealing with the Cairo embassy for months and can shed a little light if you want. You know I remember reading an article somewhere about tennis players in Iraq being threatened and killed. I'll see if I can find it for you. He's probably telling the truth about that.
Posts: 833 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Brandy: Then he worked for FedEx and got involved translating for the US Army/Marines.
You're gonna do what you're gonna do but if you get the chance can you ask him to tell Fed Ex in Cairo to get their sh!t together for pete's sake??? They lost a very important package of mine and I'm still po'd about it. Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I would say if he is willing to fund your trip then go meet him. Meeting someone will not hurt anything. And hey, it's a free trip to a great country.
But it is looked down upon for a woman your age to marry someone as young as he is. Not impossble that it couldn't work but I would be very, very careful.
Make the plans to go to visit, and do let him pay for your ticket and everything while you are there. Then let us all know on ES how everything went!!!! Good Luck
Posts: 895 | From: Atlanta, GA. | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Brandy: Then he worked for FedEx and got involved translating for the US Army/Marines.
You're gonna do what you're gonna do but if you get the chance can you ask him to tell Fed Ex in Cairo to get their sh!t together for pete's sake??? They lost a very important package of mine and I'm still po'd about it.
I just sent something by DHL. Ugh, I hope it gets there. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
So far I've sent three things, one Fed Ex which got lost and the other two good old fashion US Postal Service, which got there quickly and reliably. The guy even walked around the neighborhood looking for him. MUCH cheaper too!
Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Most of mine from USPS got there. But certainly not quickly. One card I sent never showed up. Almost a year ago. LOL
But then again.....I've never sent packages. Only cards, cd, stuff like that.
I want to send the family a few little things. I'm just so afraid they might have to pay too much. I don't know the best things to send. So I just haven't yet.
I want to send a basketball. Do they have those in Egypt? I never heard of one or saw one. Only the soccer balls.
If I sent a pink shiny one(soccer ball)......would the girls get to play?
If you don't mind my asking Doodles, what kinds of packages have you sent by USPS, and delivery time. Just trying to get an idea here.
Thanks
-------------------- شكرا و أللام عليكم شيبى Posts: 2133 | From: Redneckland | Registered: Oct 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I've sent several packages myself using the USPS. Never had a problem. My packages took between 5 and 10 business days and were weighing something around 5 pounds maybe, can't remember exactly.
*He wasn't home when the postal guy tried to deliver them, so he had to go pick them up. The customs fee he had to pay wasn't bad at all, and on 2 of the packages he didn't have to pay anything.
Posts: 1283 | From: Cairo | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Unlikely story and easy to check: -Pro sporters don`t have any problem at all to find women, in common they`re there in lines, as much as they want.Why is he active on internet and choose for a lady that could be his mother? -Pro sporters who have earned an amount of money that is enough to live from it since he was 16 untill 27, must have had a high rating, check ITF/ATP Men`s Lists/Table`s. -Worked for the US-Embassy; ask them. -Turkey is a neighbourcountry from Iraq, his father`s family lives there, why isn`t he there?
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Good point ?????, if he's working for the US govt doing translation for them, and he's a pro sporter at the same time, huh ?? That is weird...
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Yes you're crazy. This guy would be schmoozing with the wealthiest of families in Cairo trying to land one of the daughter's his age. Not trawling on the internet after a woman his mother's age. If you want to pay for an affair, that's your business but don't mistake this for love.
Better to subscribe to a dating site in your own country/city and spend your money meeting men that are interested in a real relationship.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by ExptinCAI: This guy would be schmoozing with the wealthiest of families in Cairo trying to land one of the daughter's his age. Not trawling on the internet after a woman his mother's age.
I have to agree, it sounds suspect.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
thats for damn sure meet someone in your country, visit him but don,t marry him, ihave done the same in life, until he lied to me, and still lieing to me, so stay single .. my biggest mistake marrying him.....now i am trying hard to get out of it, no moe visa, no more coning me....i am happy i came back to usa... wow happy now.. good luck
Posts: 26 | From: usa | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by whattobe: thats for damn sure meet someone in your country, visit him but don,t marry him, ihave done the same in life, until he lied to me, and still lieing to me, so stay single .. my biggest mistake marrying him.....now i am trying hard to get out of it, no moe visa, no more coning me....i am happy i came back to usa... wow happy now.. good luck
What is your story wattobe? Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I would go to cairo to meet him and the age difference is up to u and him. I know of Egyptian men marrying Egyptian woman 20 years older than them. Everyone situation is different an do what is best for u.
Posts: 319 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
most want passports as i have found out this is all friggin good acters thats for sure dont do it it will tear youre heart apart.do not do this unless you like broken heart,
posted
Listen to one thing and get it good...if you are questioning and asking in a forum chat room what you should do with your life...then you obviously have doubts and you just want to try to find someone to tell you it's okay -- do it.
But you will make up your mind on your own, and hopefully you don't make a big mistake in the mean time. However, if you just want a nice trip to Egypt (as long as you don't have to pay for anything and you have your ticket there and back in your hand before you leave), I would say go for it and have a great "fantasy" vacation. Enjoy and be anyone you want to be in this country of liars.
But if you want to have a dose of reality, don't even bother talking to them (especially if it is someone this much younger) you will not have anything in common with them. You have had your life, they are just beginning. 27 in Egypt is the equivalent to about 17 here. So you want a child?
And another thing, if he ever comes to U.S.A. - his family will totally abandon him and never help him again. You will probably be asked to let him live with you and then his work and pay will go for clothes, food, and stuff for people who helped him get to U.S.A. in the first place.
Also, if he pays your ticket, maybe someone in his family is gonna give you a sad story about how they mortgaged their flat and owe someone too much money and can never repay it. And for sure it will be an old woman who can't speak any english, crying and begging for you to help her with any amount of money. Do you want all that?
So are you crazy? Okay go - be with the crazy Egyptians! If not, then get back on your meds and come back to reality. 27 is too young for you! Do you look like Demi Moore? Cameron Diaz? Quit reading magazines and trying to live the life of a celebrity. Save it for the movies!
Wake up gurl!
Posts: 39 | From: Jersey City, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
full time to support myself, etc. He wants me to allow him to pay for my ticket to Cairo to meet in person and see if I have feelings for him. For now - he seems to want me to meet him in person and consider moving to Cairo to live with him there. He claims he wants to "take care" of me and that he wants nothing from me financially. I am a cautious person by nature and would never commit to anything until I was very sure. However - I am very tempted to travel to Cairo to at least meet him. 
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
I just sent something by DHL. Ugh, I hope it gets there. 
Printer-friendly view of this topic