posted
my ex husband and i still live together although we are divorced but being that he is Muslim, he is to stay for 1 year so I can adjust to having to be the provider of my daughter and I.
Well, he is never there as he has a girlfriend but his brother still lives with us too. well, I am fine with my ex having a GF, we are divorced, so whatever, but his brother and I have become very close. We have always been good friends...you see, my ex is a controlling abusive person who tries to keep others around him from being happy, and his brother has seen how I was being treated prior to the divorce and has always been there, hugging and consoling me after a verbal or physical attack from him. And he treats my daughter (his niece) great too, as my ex is an awful father who is never around for her. Not to mention he treats his brother badly as well... One thing lead to another and his brother came onto me recently and now we are having this affair. should i even call it that, since im divorced? it seems like revenge to my ex on both parts because he is just so nasty to everyone. Is this really bad? My ex told me I could see people, but I doubt he meant his bro!!! And as far as my daughter goes, I am not really into introducing her uncle as her stepdad should it go further. Is this allowed? In America no one would care, but this is a completely different situation. Should I break this off before I get hooked? What would his family think? They love me to death but would they hate me after this? I mean, its legit...Im not married anymore, but why does it seem like, really bad? Just knowing it's so naughty makes it feel so good, and thats just the Scorpio in me coming out, but I want to do whats right, especially since I got a kid.
I am not one to sleep around but I guess these are just one of those things.
Posts: 229 | From: florida | Registered: Apr 2007
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Its a tough situation and you must do what you feel is right. You have said he is a good man and treats you and the daughter very good, that is what really matters in the end. If you are concerned religiously, consult a mosque or other muslims about it. I dont think there is anything against it as you are divorced, if you were married of course but you are divorced so the brother is no longer related to you.,,,, You are right, no one in america cares, i know of a woman that divorced her husband to marry his brother ,, it was a bit crazy. The family would probably not approve at all.
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love stinx. I think their mother would be ok because she is hugely open minded. she allowed her son to marry a 40 year old woman when he was 22. she lets her kids do whatever they want...but its the other family im scared of.
Posts: 229 | From: florida | Registered: Apr 2007
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posted
Wasn't there a very similar post to this one a few months ago?
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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that would be weird... wasnt me. this all just happened last week. plus im new:)
Posts: 229 | From: florida | Registered: Apr 2007
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So out of the hundreds of thousands of single men availiable to you, you pick the brother of your husband?
Egyptian, Taiwaneese, American, Polish.. nationality doesn't matter here. You are certifiable. And in America... people would care, contrary to popular belief we aren't a pack of morally depraved people.
Can't you see that you are striking back at your husband and for whatever motivation so is his own brother? Or maybe you are tryign to hang onto your husband by connecting to the brother. AND YOU HAVE A CHILD IN THE MIDDLE.
I say, don't ask for advice here, call a professional and get yourself some counseling. Get over the marital relationship and try to find a boyfriend with different parents than your HUSBAND.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Been there done that too. It helps to talk. Well sometimes anyway. Other times people just try to frighten the..... out of you.
Posts: 209 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2007
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hi all...it just makes it less of a drag when you stick a problem on a forum and let people knaw at it for ya like a bunch of pihranas:) heeheehee
i figured i was in it mostly because it was a revenge on my ex in done in a way that he could never top...it's gonna to be even more fun looking him in the eye and singing to myself "i know something you dont know" !! god it feels so good to be soooo bad, but of course all good things must come to an end, so last night I told dude im moving on and im not interested in him like that.
as for what was written that i want my husband back, um...no way in hell! im having a great time w/out his crap.
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last night he tells me to ome upstairs because he cant figure out this new high tech expensive alarm clock and he comes behind me, pushes my head to the side, goes to work on my neck and well, i did it again. ok no more after this. must...resist....the...urge...
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Picked up on the wrong scent not gonna make a dent how many times are you in my rhymes burn me once shame on thee but burn me again, shame on me I'm chasing and facing the point misplacing when I think of you my mind's racing I'm spacing out when I get to the point of no return, I get burned I told myself I'm through with you the last thing that I'll ever do let down my guard shoudln't be too hard I know it's over, got to elevate, disregard
I can't believe I fell for it, but did it again I told myself I'm gonna quit, but did it again I can't believe I fell for it, but did it again I told myself I'm gonna quit, but
This was supposed to be the last time I told myself this wouldnt happen again I told myself I wasn't ever going to call you I told myself I wasn't going to let you back in but here I am dialing, trying
I told myself to get a hold myself I won't freak out, let you tweak out on ecstacy not next to me somethin tells me baby girl that you're testin me I told myself to get a hold myself and I'm tryin' I'm not lyin' don't make me mad, you know I love you bad I want to sniff the glue that hold me to you I told myself to get a hold myself but don't rush me can't you trust me the sound I hear whenever you are near I know it's never wrong and it's my favorite song
I can't believe I fell for it, but did it again I told myself I'm gonna quit, but did it again I can't believe I fell for it, but did it again I told myself I'm gonna quit, but
This was supposed to be the last time I told myself this wouldnt happen again I told myself I wasn't ever going to call you I told myself I wasn't going to let you back in but here I am dialing, trying
And now it's all turned bad turned bad, turned bad your ploy to make me jealous is obvious and sad it has the opposite effect now you're left with what you had you had
The rain comes down as love turns to dust I was joking she took me serious the rain comed down as love turns to dust I was joking she took me serious yes, serious
This was the last time that I was ever going to call you I told myself I wouldn't let you back in but here I am dialing, trying ...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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Sleeping and having affair with a brother, father, or family member is not morally acceptable in Egypt neither in western world.
In Egypt this is considered adultery. For such actions both you and his brother could be punished, with exception that your reputation would be damaged forever, and family would be ashamed.
In the case someone finds out, people in general would rather stand up and defend his brother and your ex, because you failed to demonstrate that you were good mother to your child by entering in sexual relationship with another male without being legally married, and betraying family values of raising the child as your 1st priority instead of "fooling around" with his brother for sexual pleasure "only".
In addition, your ex and everyone would feel totally betrayed by your actions and hurt by brother involvement with you, but they would rather keep him (mother’s love for her own child prevails) and get rid off you.
You could also lose your child, and custody could be given to your ex and his future wife, or his mother alone (highly likely).
I assumed all you said is true.
If all you said is in fact not true, and you are trying to convey your message to your ex ( who may read this ) or to show how "western woman" can go wild and scare other Egyptians thus confirm 'stereotype' about western morality, then this speaks about you as a person, and what character you are individually. Just don't refer to western morality to defend your own behavior.
To each their own.
Posts: 182 | From: LA/Alex | Registered: May 2003
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I agree, what you describe is disgusting no matter who you are or where you're from. The fact that you involved a child in your sick behavior shows your need for some intense psycho therapy, please seek help and stop wasting our time.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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She is a devorced woman, fell into a relationship with her ex-husbands brother.Deep down inside she knows she knows she shouldn`t do this, that it has to do with what has happened in the past, and that, in fact, her current feelings are a kind of seeking comfort and a justification for what her ex has done to her. She knows it`s wrong but it is something that happens because that man is always near. She trusted him, and she feels that he is a victim too. Maybe you can name it a brother-in-arms-feeling, both in comparable circumstances. He is comforting her, and he is the one who gives her what she needs: attention, comfort,safety.It has nothing to do with love-relationships, it is just an open arm and an open heart.
Before we condemn HER, it is necessarry to take a look at HIS part in the game. He knows what has happened, and he has seen what it all did to her. He has seen her sorrow, he has seen her pain. And he has seen her vulnerability.
A woman is this condition is quite accessible for comfort, for consolation, for an open arm. So, who is the disgusting one in this???
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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He is comforting her, and he is the one who gives her what she needs: attention, comfort,safety.It has nothing to do with love-relationships, it is just an open arm and an open heart.
I have to disagree completely. She could have gone anywhere to get the comfort she needs, the attention, safety, etc., why the BROTHER? Let's not condemn her? ok, then let's just say what feels good isn't always right.
I'm not playing a game of the woman is bad and the man is good , but I'm not speaking to the brother in this situation and it was the woman who is telling her story. I'm also not keen on always making the woman out to be this vunerable weakling who gets taken advantage by any penis that comforts her and offers attention.
She knew what she was doing and now sees it was wrong, but really doesn't want to change it. She gets excitement from it, these are her words: Just knowing it's so naughty makes it feel so good, and thats just the Scorpio in me coming out, but I want to do whats right, especially since I got a kid.
Huh ?? She equates her behavior to her zodiac symbol, admits it's exciting because it's wrong and says in the same sentence she should do what's right. Nooo, by all means let's NOT condemn her, that would be..... SANE !
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: He is comforting her, and he is the one who gives her what she needs: attention, comfort,safety.It has nothing to do with love-relationships, it is just an open arm and an open heart.
I have to disagree completely. She could have gone anywhere to get the comfort she needs, the attention, safety, etc., why the BROTHER? Let's not condemn her? ok, then let's just say what feels good isn't always right.
I'm not playing a game of the woman is bad and the man is good , but I'm not speaking to the brother in this situation and it was the woman who is telling her story. I'm also not keen on always making the woman out to be this vunerable weakling who gets taken advantage by any penis that comforts her and offers attention.
She knew what she was doing and now sees it was wrong, but really doesn't want to change it. She gets excitement from it, these are her words: Just knowing it's so naughty makes it feel so good, and thats just the Scorpio in me coming out, but I want to do whats right, especially since I got a kid.
Huh ?? She equates her behavior to her zodiac symbol, admits it's exciting because it's wrong and says in the same sentence she should do what's right. Nooo, by all means let's NOT condemn her, that would be..... SANE !
So, no blame for the man at all???
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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Lol... YES YES of course the man has blame, but he isn't here is he? (at least I don't think so, Buck Naked???)
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Do you need to have them all HERE to give an opinion?
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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its wrong.....unless the BIL is HOT!!!
Posts: 135 | From: I leave you with your misery, a friend who won't betray! | Registered: Apr 2007
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