posted
1. make sure you put rollers in your hair the whole time you're at home.
2. Wear your granny's night gown & underwear
3. Don't wash or shower, do it at most once a week.
4. Don't cook, or cook his lest favorite meals
5. Scream & talk loud all the time, be a nervous wreck
6. fart & burp as much as you can, don't forget the sound effects.
7. make sure he sees you when you're pooping & please don't flush the toilet
8. get a yeat infection & smell like fish
9. Smear your face with a brown mask & attempt to kiss him while it's on.
10. Don't wear make-up & look like addicts.
11. when out to dinner with his friends &/ or co-workers, emabarrass him, act silly, wear your cheapest outfit, put lipstick on your teeth, tell your cheesiest stories & jokes, talk about politics even if you don't have anything in particular to say, stay for half-hour in the ladies room, laugh hyetrically then break down & cry, get drunk & burp, make a scene with the waiters & don't forget to break your plate.
12. watch cheesy soap operas all day, especially when he wants to watch his football game.
13. Pretend to have a row with him everytime he picks up or chats on the phone, or keep the phone busy the whole time.
14. Spend all his money & credit cards on useless stuff
15. call him at work every 15 minutes, send him sms's & flood his inbox.
16. Buy him stuff you know he wouldn't like as his birthday gifts
17. get yourself a vibrator becuase he's thing is too tiny for your wide thing
18. Don't let him touch you when he feels like it but if you give up please fall asleep during the act, don't take you'e granny's night gown by all means, & you'll be super if you could also fart.
19. Go visit him at work unexpectedly, and start talking about the stove that needs to be fixed, the maid that quit & the doorkeepr who gives you dirty looks...... Complian like there's no tommorrow, flood him with problems, problems, problems until he drags you from your hair out of the office infront of his boss, secretary & co-workers.
20. Complain about him to all your family memembers, friends & neighbors... say that he beats you, abuses you & sodomises you even if it's not ture, act as a victim. Destroy his reputation & make it known to him.
21. Constantly belittle him infront of your guests.
22. if you don't have your hair in roller, don't brush it & leave it clumsy & big on the top of your head.
23. Flirt with his friends & b!tch abou their wives
24. Pick your nose
25. Eat with your mouth full, don't take a chance to breath, eat with your hands, open your mouth while eating & don't forget the sound effects.
26. Try to act sexy in a sluttly cheap disgusting way.
27. Make horse noises while making love
28. Eeryday invite people over to destroy his peace.
29. Be pregnant once a year have as many kids as you can to turn his life into a living hell
30. Get FAT, don't fit into your clothes & start wearing his own
31. Talk non-stop, mostly crap to annoy the heck out of him
32. Treat him like a cuddly chubby baby, & fill his bed with teddie bears that are dirty & stinky.
33. Call him with the nick name that his mom used to call him when he was 3 years old
34. Always eat from his dish
Posts: 3128 | From: Not Your Heaven | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
Thanks cat, I now have all the info I need for visiting my other half, I'm sure he'll love the new me!
Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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