Does anyone have experience of having a relationship/marriage with an Egyptian man and having a child or children from a previous relationship/marriage/s
What are your experiences or questions on this subject??
Most of us know the cultural/religious differences of Egypt to west but how do u get on with inlaws and friends of his. Inviting them round etc....
Have any of u decided to leave out some info from your inlaws and not see them often??? cos of this ? or do they accept it ?
P.S this is just a topic i thought of Posts: 634 | From: the Moon........... | Registered: Mar 2007
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My egyptian husband loves my kids like his own and they love him. I notice when he talks about them with others he says: "my little boy....." or "my girl...."
We have not had any kind of troubles and his family has excepted us because they see how how good we are to each other and how much we trouly love each other.
His friends have been nice too.
Posts: 528 | From: Denmark | Registered: Dec 2006
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Well I'll let ya know when he gets here. lol. For now he is very concerned about what they do each day, i.e. how they did on tests that he knows about, what they're upset about (they're preteen hormonal girls so they are ALWAYS upset rofl!!!), etc. They get along fine so far and the girls are very excited for him to get here. I gave them each tasks to do with him to help him ease into the transition of living in the US, i.e. one of my daughters has the job of taking him to the mall to shop so he can learn how the whole sales tax thing works and how to handle US money, i.e. change, that he's not really used to dealing with. The other is already getting a taste testing thing set for him by thinking up foods that he's never tasted before.
I'm sure it won't all be laughs and giggles either but it will be nice to have a father figure in the house for sure! He knows he won't replace their dad but truly their dad isn't much of a dad anyways.
Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
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I do think it's a huge risk to marry a man who hasn't met your kids. After all he's marrying the family, and will be in their life day and night, any may even start interfering with their freedoms. What happens if they don't get along?
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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So Murray, you have kids from previous marriage ? I guess that just spoilt my plans of marriage with you Posts: 1167 | From: Homelandless | Registered: May 2006
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-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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In the 7 years my daughter and my husband have known each other they have gone through different phases of the relationship. At first he was wonderful in her eyes and could do no wrong, then she hit the teenage years. she is 15 now and a right pain. So now when he disciplines her she throws a strop and I have to mediate. As her father is dead she always says he would have let her do X where my husband won't let her. The joke is her father was just as conservative as my husband and would have totally agreed with the rules. It will be interesting what happens when she gets to late teems and becomes a human being again. She might even like both of us again.
My family have been favourably impressed with Mahmoud, he has met my father, uncle and some cousins. I have met all of his family, and apart from 2 exceptions liek and get on with all of them. Some are complete poppets and very support. Mum in law especially
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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my fiance is so good wit my kids and he loves them like theyre his own even tho he has only met one of them he met my 4 yr old last yr and she is adored and loved by him and all who met her every day he speaks to them askin them wot they have done each day and they always say goodbye and tell him they love him and the older 2 cant wait to meet him they keep sayn they will run up to him in the airport and give him a big hug bless them
Posts: 477 | From: lancashire england | Registered: Aug 2006
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Its nice to hear all your happy stories i bet theres a few bad ones hiding somewhere????
Korven how sweet x yes i have 1 kid of my own oh well maybe in my next life
I have no comments of my own to add yet as relationship is in the early stages x Posts: 634 | From: the Moon........... | Registered: Mar 2007
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Such lovely replys I enjoyed reading them.I dont have children as yet ..inshallah one day i will..
Posts: 212 | From: uk | Registered: Apr 2007
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Multiple studies show that stepfathers are bad for children. A home with the two biological parents is best for the child, second best is a single mother, but a remarried mother and a stepfather is the worst for the children. Boys much more frequently turn to crime, girls are more likely to be molested, and the stepfather is 100 times as likely to kill the child than a father. Do some research-all you women who are so selfish to bring a stepfather into your child's life are not doing them any good. They are better off raised by you alone.
Again, scientific research has shown that Islam is correct about this. A woman who remarries according to Islam should not keep custody of her children. The above mentioned statistics and more show how true that is.
A woman I know was so desparate for a man in her life after divorce from her son's father that she married an Egyptian to replace him, and when that marriage went bad, she married another Egyptian. Several months after her second marriage to an Egyptian, her son committed a crime that could land him in prison for a good number of years. Is that what you want for your children? Keep stepfathers out of their lives! Your first responsibility is to your children, not your own desire for a man.
Posts: 1 | Registered: May 2007
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So the problem is men? If the man remarries another woman the woman is compassionate and will help him raise his children, but the men are the beasts?
Sounds like the problem is men in general then, would it be better if the women turned lesbian?
How about helping men with coping skills and parenting skills and compassion skills? How ridiculous. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by theway: Multiple studies show that stepfathers are bad for children. A home with the two biological parents is best for the child, second best is a single mother, but a remarried mother and a stepfather is the worst for the children. Boys much more frequently turn to crime, girls are more likely to be molested, and the stepfather is 100 times as likely to kill the child than a father. Do some research-all you women who are so selfish to bring a stepfather into your child's life are not doing them any good. They are better off raised by you alone.
Again, scientific research has shown that Islam is correct about this. A woman who remarries according to Islam should not keep custody of her children. The above mentioned statistics and more show how true that is.
A woman I know was so desparate for a man in her life after divorce from her son's father that she married an Egyptian to replace him, and when that marriage went bad, she married another Egyptian. Several months after her second marriage to an Egyptian, her son committed a crime that could land him in prison for a good number of years. Is that what you want for your children? Keep stepfathers out of their lives! Your first responsibility is to your children, not your own desire for a man.
So ridiculious... I was gonna comment on it but changed my mind. Its too stupid.
Posts: 528 | From: Denmark | Registered: Dec 2006
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Can we have links to these studies or is this just hot air.
Never heard anythign so silly in all my life.
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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Heh heh heh. I always thought it was the step *mother* who was wicked throughout history.... Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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As we can all see ladies + Gents... A certain pop up is a jnr member....Ha Ha Very funny !!! As MRS TIBE says i was gonna comment also...but can't be bothered !!
Absolutely ridiculous thanks for crapping on this thread xx Shame i haven't got a poop scoop for ES xx I must admit previously i did ask for it !!.......RE; bad experiences....i should have known it would'nt be too long b4 someone imagination took hold x Very good though it made me laugh...Wow i'm soooo selfish Posts: 634 | From: the Moon........... | Registered: Mar 2007
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Theway, you talk bollox go away and grow yourself a brain.
MM77, i have a child, 3 step children and a step husband
according to 'theway' i should have stayed with my ex, maybe i would have if i could have found him! i was also a single parent for 7 years and it was very very hard!
My son has a much better quality of life now, so do i, in fact we all do.
Yes there can be difficulties when families come together, it takes a lot of understanding, adjustment and compromise. I wouldnt kid you that its been easy and its ongoing, but thats just the nature of people spending lots of time together and adjusting to their different places in the family. In a biological family that is a slower process i think that part is easier, but what is important is taking into account how everyone is feeling all the way along, kids will have their moments of insecurity, jealousness and so will the parents, if you are going to be in this situation then i am happy to talk whenever, just pm me.
Of course it also depends how many people are involved, negotiating six people is harder than 3 for instance.
I agree with what someone else has said about not marrying someone who hasnt met or been around my son, I wouldnt do that. What made a huge difference for me was seeing how my husband was with his children and mine, both of us agreed that if the kids didnt get on with either of us, we wouldnt have got married...kids are usually a good judge of character.
Their are absolutely no stats on reconstituted families being worse that biological families, i have known people abused by their biological families, that goes on too 'the way' a family is a good family when they love, care support and understand each other regardless of biology.
Posts: 1017 | From: uk | Registered: Mar 2006
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the egyptian guy im with has 4 in Egypt. he has divorced the mother twice but i told him to stay married to her because the kids...it was a forced cousin to cousin marriage and he has never been happy, but he can't allow his 2 older daughter to live in the house of what might be the mothers new husband so he is still 'married' to her. it doesnt bother me at all, because I know the situation and he is closer to me...he is bringing the 2 girls over this summer to meet me. Hope they don't hate me.
i have 1 from a previous egyptian man. he loves my daughter to death and he kinda picked up where her pathetic father left off. my ex has kids everywhere and doesn't give a sh*t.
he is 44 i am 27
Posts: 229 | From: florida | Registered: Apr 2007
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I've always read that when any step parent enters the child's life after 4 years of age they shouldn't really intervene too much in raising the child, should leave it to the biological parent...otherwise it causes problems. I thought if the step parent enters the child's life prior to 4 years of age the child accepts them much easier as an authority figure, not sure, just my 2 pennies~ Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: I've always read that when any step parent enters the child's life after 4 years of age they shouldn't really intervene too much in raising the child, should leave it to the biological parent...otherwise it causes problems. I thought if the step parent enters the child's life prior to 4 years of age the child accepts them much easier as an authority figure, not sure, just my 2 pennies~
well my real dad split when i was 3. my mom met my stepdad and if it wasn't for him, i don't even want to think of where i would be now. he saved me. my real dad, i met when i was 16 and i was so glad i didnt grow up with him.
my ex is just not father material. he throws my daughter down a couple bucks when he sees her, which isn't often then dissapears for a long time. when we lived together, he would hit her if he had a bad day and say she did something wrong. she is only 4. this man opens his arms to her and teaches her things that only a father can teach.
Posts: 229 | From: florida | Registered: Apr 2007
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Anyone who has a chance to influence a child's life should do so, in encouragement, in acceptance, by giving love and support and even teaching through discipline. I cringe to qoute this one, but "it takes a village" to raise a child. Too many of us have lost this and just look away from children, our own and then the ones that are not ours that we meet. I give my child's friends the same kind of love that I would give my own child. I worry about them, ask them about how things are going, and always try to help them. So how about if one lived with me??? You have to stop worrying about what you are allowed to give and just follow your heart and give the absolute best to any child.
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
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Well mi feng it talks about not how much you have to take care of your child it's says if you have relationship , it does make any since to the guy ? P.S : you put me in ignor list why ?
Posts: 88 | From: cairo | Registered: Feb 2007
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