My mother has recently visited egypt (twice in just over a month). I had my suspicions that a man was involved but now that has been confirmed on her return.
My mum is 59yrs old and she has met a 25 yr old egyptian bloke, who has told her she is the best thing ever. My mother, being so gullable, has fallen in love with him and has even invited him to the UK for a holiday in October. I am extremely worried that she will be conned and loose everything (house, money, dignity etc..)
Please can anybody tell me how to get through to her that she is making a mistake, any websites. Ive tried telling her it's a con but she says she is in love with him.
I know she is stupid, but it's my mum and I'm very worried.
posted
Oh wow, another worried offspring, a similar situation. Gotta go but I know someone will respond to you very shortly on this matter.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Hi, I have a friend same situation as you have written about. She spent 2 years going back and forward to Luxor. Gave money, bought land, in his name, built apartments for them to live in and on completion he threw her out and all his family moved in. She is now back in UK, lost everything, cannot get anythingback.. has been working with lawyers to get some money back, but as she freely put things in his name, does not stand a chance. Limited arabic, let him tell her that things had to be in his name (bullshit) etc.. She belived him. As it turned out, this guy had a reputation of meeting older women, ripping off and leaving. No offense but Egyptian families will expect there son to wed and produce children, family is very important, your mum can only provide financially and nothing else. Tell her to have a good time... dont buy/move/invest in anything there... enjoy the holiday. The chances of him coming to UK for a holiday will be nil. Visa will be an issue. If you know the area she has visited.. PM me I may no someone who knows of him. Good Luck
Posts: 288 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by worried son: Help Please.
My mother has recently visited egypt (twice in just over a month). I had my suspicions that a man was involved but now that has been confirmed on her return.
My mum is 59yrs old and she has met a 25 yr old egyptian bloke, who has told her she is the best thing ever. My mother, being so gullable, has fallen in love with him and has even invited him to the UK for a holiday in October. I am extremely worried that she will be conned and loose everything (house, money, dignity etc..)
Please can anybody tell me how to get through to her that she is making a mistake, any websites. Ive tried telling her it's a con but she says she is in love with him.
I know she is stupid, but it's my mum and I'm very worried.
Thanks
have her committed, that should do the trick. (by the way the man is 25, how old are you?)
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
as a man, try to explain to her that in that culture a, man pays for everything and is the provider and she will humiliate him if she's the provider. it doesn't matter that he comes from a poor country and she's (relatively) rich. tell her if she wants his long-lasting respect as a man, she must pay attention to the culture he was brought up in and that unless she wants him to eventually resent and leave her, she must allow him to figure out a way financially to her.
keep everything in her name in egypt. yes, you can (he'll tell her foreigners can't).
marry a regular egyptian marriage if it comes to that. not orfi, not a marriage performed in cairo where you need UK embassy to notarize stuff (look on their website). a regular egyptian marriage is valid in egypt only. it will protect/give her rights there. anything that's her property stays her property under egyptian law. he is not entitled to any property in the UK she owns. and definitely, if the marriage is not valid in the UK, he has no grounds anyway
(sorry to go on about marriage, but get ready for that. he'll already talking about it to her)
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by worried son: Help Please.
My mother has recently visited egypt (twice in just over a month). I had my suspicions that a man was involved but now that has been confirmed on her return.
My mum is 59yrs old and she has met a 25 yr old egyptian bloke, who has told her she is the best thing ever. My mother, being so gullable, has fallen in love with him and has even invited him to the UK for a holiday in October. I am extremely worried that she will be conned and loose everything (house, money, dignity etc..)
Please can anybody tell me how to get through to her that she is making a mistake, any websites. Ive tried telling her it's a con but she says she is in love with him.
I know she is stupid, but it's my mum and I'm very worried.
Thanks
Just sit her down in front of a computer and get her to start reading this website. There are loads of stories here that are similar to hers and then if she wants to post there are plenty of people to advise her.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I'm beginning to wonder if some of these women even care if they are being used, maybe they see it as a trade off...bit of sex and romance with a handsome stranger in exchange for providing him financial security for a while...
Makes me wonder whether its even worth saying anything, because i'm inclined to believe they wouldnt take any notice, they would rather live in de nile
shame for this guy if he's real, how frustrating would that be! but as people told me before you cant parent your parent i supose
Posts: 1017 | From: uk | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Yes, but if she's an ostrich like many of the dames here, the advice wouldn't make a damn bit of difference.
quote:Originally posted by Penny:
quote:Originally posted by worried son: Help Please.
My mother has recently visited egypt (twice in just over a month). I had my suspicions that a man was involved but now that has been confirmed on her return.
My mum is 59yrs old and she has met a 25 yr old egyptian bloke, who has told her she is the best thing ever. My mother, being so gullable, has fallen in love with him and has even invited him to the UK for a holiday in October. I am extremely worried that she will be conned and loose everything (house, money, dignity etc..)
Please can anybody tell me how to get through to her that she is making a mistake, any websites. Ive tried telling her it's a con but she says she is in love with him.
I know she is stupid, but it's my mum and I'm very worried.
Thanks
Just sit her down in front of a computer and get her to start reading this website. There are loads of stories here that are similar to hers and then if she wants to post there are plenty of people to advise her.
posted
Very true, but I would still prefer people are stupid with their eyes open than with their eyes shut as they tend to wake up a bit quicker in the end.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Yeah that is better. But isn't it frustrating when you're trying to *help* someone and they end up saying you're negative and mean just because you say something they don't want to hear?
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
None if us has been appointed as the saver of people. We can only tell what we know and see and the allow the others to make their own decision. It might not be what you hope they decide and you may feel frustration at their defending their decision. Did anyone talk you out of marrying your husbands? Was there anything anyone could have said to change your mind? I am curious and just wondering who and what could have been said to stop you. I can not think of anything. Although with my antiquity I probably have forgotten most of my life.
Posts: 156 | From: USA | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by shahrzaad: None if us has been appointed as the saver of people. We can only tell what we know and see and the allow the others to make their own decision. It might not be what you hope they decide and you may feel frustration at their defending their decision. Did anyone talk you out of marrying your husbands? Was there anything anyone could have said to change your mind? I am curious and just wondering who and what could have been said to stop you. I can not think of anything. Although with my antiquity I probably have forgotten most of my life.
Well, most of these woman that are in a good marriage with egyptian men never posted this kind of crap on here so you are trying to compare apples with oranges. Most of the user names that try to tell you these things are only trying to help but i see you and a few other of your friends who want justification and desperately are searching for ways to convince people you all are exceptions. You want to make an ass out of yourself then go right ahead, if your old as the hills like you said, then you outta have the sense and self preservation that a mature woman should have and pay close attention to what they say, instead of saying they are negative. Read back the stories, and realize that they have been giving advice to many, many foolish woman who didnt listen, then came back crying because they were right.
Posts: 1121 | From: Too crazy to look at a freakin map to find out.. | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by shahrzaad: None if us has been appointed as the saver of people. We can only tell what we know and see and the allow the others to make their own decision. It might not be what you hope they decide and you may feel frustration at their defending their decision. Did anyone talk you out of marrying your husbands? Was there anything anyone could have said to change your mind? I am curious and just wondering who and what could have been said to stop you. I can not think of anything. Although with my antiquity I probably have forgotten most of my life.
For your info im 32 - yes this guy is 7 years younger than me and it's still not ringing any alarm bells with her.
Do you think it will help if I confiscate her passport?
She now thinks all im intersted in is her house and my eventual inheritance - so not true, me and my wife are financially stable, she can spend her money as she wants (as long as it's not on a conman)
Thanks again.
Still worried son
Posts: 3 | Registered: Jun 2007
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posted
If she's confided in you about this man, all you can do is give her your advice, she's your mother and is entitled to her own decisions in life, even if they're bad ones. Sorry, but she's your parent and even as a worried son, there's only so much you can do to help, especially if she doesn't want it. Good luck. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Looks like the best thing you can do is be there to pick up the pieces... I definitely think that Penny's suggestion to get her looking at this forum would open her eyes slightly!!
Otherwise...let her get on with it. I'm sure she's had many sleepless nights over you in the past so maybe its just payback!!!! hehe
Posts: 69 | From: Warwickshire - UK | Registered: May 2007
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posted
Well if my husband did to me what many of the men written about here do to women, I wouldn't need anyone to talk me out of marrying him. I would've had enough self love to get out of the relationship on my own. Also, I would never get involved with a man young enough to be my son.
quote:Originally posted by shahrzaad: None if us has been appointed as the saver of people. We can only tell what we know and see and the allow the others to make their own decision. It might not be what you hope they decide and you may feel frustration at their defending their decision. Did anyone talk you out of marrying your husbands? Was there anything anyone could have said to change your mind? I am curious and just wondering who and what could have been said to stop you. I can not think of anything. Although with my antiquity I probably have forgotten most of my life.
quote:Originally posted by worried son: Thanks for the advice guys.
For your info im 32 - yes this guy is 7 years younger than me and it's still not ringing any alarm bells with her.
Do you think it will help if I confiscate her passport?
She now thinks all im intersted in is her house and my eventual inheritance - so not true, me and my wife are financially stable, she can spend her money as she wants (as long as it's not on a conman)
Thanks again.
Still worried son
Seems like your worries backfired. You explained your pov and she misunderstood and accused you. At this point I also think you have to let your mother do what she thinks she has to do. She's in love and foolish - even at the age of 59. But remember she'll always be your mother; if she loses still be there for her, she'll need your support.
Doesn't your mom have girlfriends who might have a better connection to her to make things more understandable? How do they view her relationship to this very young foreign poor man?
ES is an excellent source in this matter but I'll look for other sites, articles you might want to make your mother aware of.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
well my dear "worried son"...she take this actions with u maybe coz she read ur refuse and ur angry of this subject everytime...so sure she started to think that u r now her enemy and her lover's enemy too...and u wanna prevent her from love & happnies to steal her money..
so i think it will be better if u try another way now with her...try to share for her that u already convinced by her new love...and that u agree and u was just had fears about her new love...then i guess she will come littile closer from u and step by step may be she will take u as a friend and ask u about ur opinion in every step she will gotta take in future...so then u will be in this position which u can from it work better with all sides...or if u know that it cant be happen to take u as a friend.., then try to go and talk with her best friend around u there....and ask him/her to help u and show u things about this subject to make u get much closer from ur mother and from this guy...so when u get closer u will understand more..and u will be able to help ur mother more than trying to help her by argue & fighting with her...
sorry for my bad english...but my point is trying to change ur way..then to get closer from him and her...then discover the real intentions about this guy...then advice ur mom by convinced way...coz for now i think she will never going to convince or even think of ur opinion..so then u have to change ur plans and ur way...and i think too u have to be with her if she coming to egypt..its so importand to be on the fact's land with her...
with my best wishs, hesham an egyption guy wish just to help
Posts: 712 | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
Worried Son, In time your mother will have to make up her own mind. Either his "bad" side will show or she will end up married and happy. Either way, the only thing you can really do is to be there for her. You don't have to agree with her decisions, just be there. You can't protect her from herself. Only she can do that. The more negatives, more "advice" you give, the more you will push her into the arms of this man simply to prove you wrong. So I'd suggest, backing off. She knows how you feel. You don't have to encourage her, but you don't have to make her feel she has to defend herself either. Especially to her own son. In time..IF this man is using her, it will show. And if not...one poster here was right, she has her rights to her own money, valuable and property. He has no right to them. At least in Egypt. Let mom live her life. After all, Im sure you made plenty of your own mistakes and sometimes moms can only let their kids live and learn. WE can't control them anymore than you can control her decision on this. Pray God will show her the truth. And love your mom anyways...
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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Shouldn't you be playing bingo or knitting jumpers or something now that you are old and past it? Posts: 586 | From: Styx | Registered: Dec 2006
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I only played bingo when i was a student, I can't knit, nor would I want to (although i have heard the term knit one pearl one).At 32 I don't think I'm old and past it, but thanks for your concern.
To everyone else thanks for the posts, It has given me an idea of what steps to take next. thanks for the private post too (you know who you are)
Posts: 3 | Registered: Jun 2007
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posted
It wasn't me but hopefully with a good stragedy you get through to your mother. She does not need to take your advice, of course in the end she has to decide for herself but she needs to have both eyes open and look out for possible pitfalls.
But how to explain this to a person who is 110% in love?
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
All Alma 37 posts is correcting peoples grammar, and calling every post make believe and fake. You dont have to prove anything to Alma!!
Posts: 96 | From: usa | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Wow...what on earth would a 25 yr old see in a 59 yr old, whether the older person is a man OR a woman? Nevermind the nationality of any of the parties involved!
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can say or do to dissuade your mother. She will get used and abused and you can only pick up the pieces...if you choose to do so.
Best of luck to you.
Posts: 1 | From: Florida | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
see if you can have her check out this site called romance scams on yahoo. Now a days men are marrying much younger women, and now women are marrying much younger men. It's ok for the men in society but is not excepted in society yet. We are called cougars if we date younger men. What are the men called? Tell her you will except this relationship if she protects herself with a pre-nuptual agreement. To loose everything in your late 50's would be devistating. If he is willing to sign it he is not in for the $$$.
Posts: 1369 | From: California | Registered: Aug 2007
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quote:Originally posted by worried son: Help Please.
My mother has recently visited egypt (twice in just over a month). I had my suspicions that a man was involved but now that has been confirmed on her return.
My mum is 59yrs old and she has met a 25 yr old egyptian bloke, who has told her she is the best thing ever. My mother, being so gullable, has fallen in love with him and has even invited him to the UK for a holiday in October. I am extremely worried that she will be conned and loose everything (house, money, dignity etc..)
Please can anybody tell me how to get through to her that she is making a mistake, any websites. Ive tried telling her it's a con but she says she is in love with him.
I know she is stupid, but it's my mum and I'm very worried.
Thanks
If a 59 years woman can still believe that a 25 young man with no money can have a genuine interest in her then she has to grow, this story maybe will help her to grow and to live the remaining years of her life like a mature person.
Posts: 41 | From: Cairo | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
worried son and malak maybe you could get in touch with each other you both live in uk right?
It may not be the best solution or option, but I do not think that your mum has met a lot of women in her situation, and obviously she is not fully aware of the issues that her story will encounter in the future.
If she could hear what malak has written about her freind, it may wake her up a littel bit, specially if it comes from a person from outside her family circle, she may be more willing to listen.
Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Hi, I have a friend same situation as you have written about. She spent 2 years going back and forward to Luxor. Gave money, bought land, in his name, built apartments for them to live in and on completion he threw her out and all his family moved in. She is now back in UK, lost everything, cannot get anythingback.. has been working with lawyers to get some money back, but as she freely put things in his name, does not stand a chance. Limited arabic, let him tell her that things had to be in his name (bullshit) etc.. She belived him. As it turned out, this guy had a reputation of meeting older women, ripping off and leaving. No offense but Egyptian families will expect there son to wed and produce children, family is very important, your mum can only provide financially and nothing else. Tell her to have a good time... dont buy/move/invest in anything there... enjoy the holiday. The chances of him coming to UK for a holiday will be nil. Visa will be an issue. If you know the area she has visited.. PM me I may no someone who knows of him. Good Luck Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
This thread is 3 months old. worried son hasn't been back here since he first posted.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
If this is true I can relate to it....My Sister is 59 met an Egyptian guy online who is 22 and has divorced her husband of 43 years. I am devastated and she has lost her mind!!! Posts: 334 | From: kentucky | Registered: Jun 2006
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