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Are you a foreign woman married to an Egyptian man? If so, do you have any stories to share about your experience?
Posts: 285 | From: egypt | Registered: Apr 2006
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just tell your friend to get the hell out of that relationship.... shes not a wife, shes a slave...
My husband would never disrespect me like that, and i would never let him or anyone else for that matter treat me like that.
Posts: 712 | From: Hurghada | Registered: Aug 2006
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Yes I am a foreign woman married to an egyptian man. My experience thus far has been good. There are disagreements but rarely and are easily solved. The not answering the door is really for protection, especiallly if you dont know the language well. Not stopping a taxi when together, well its just part of the culture, men are supposed to be the leaders. Lol never had the situation of asking permission to leave the room when arguing, though i will never ask for permission to walk out of a room if i wish. It is respectful to tell him where you are going and who with, if he minds then he will express it but the choice is always hers im sure. No men here in egypt dont like women going out with people they dont know, they want to know the people you go out with behave in a proper way as to not reflect badly on their wife. As i stated, my experience has been good, with any disagreements easily resolved and with basically no arguing done, just talking through things and respecting eachother, never has there ever been a raised voice,
posted
Im a foreign woman, well while in Egypt I am foreign, married to a wonderful Egyptian man. what sort of stories do you want?
Here is one about my new vacuum cleaner I bought yesterday:
Arrived at shop with 2 friends, chose cleaner for 210LE, its a Panosoanic and no thats not a spelling mistake! Boy takes paper to small office/desk and then gives paper to us to take back to small office/desk to pay, paper then goes to another boy who leaves the shop, we follow down the street and around the corner where boy vanishes into warehouse, comes back with cleaner!! Arriving home I unpack my new toy, very excited as I have been here a while now and these small luxuries can be very exciting! cleaner has 2 strips of red clothy stuff that picks up hairs? know what I mean? well one fell off on first push of cleaner pipe, alhamdulillah says me and carries on, pipe fell off, put it back together again and carried on, other end of pipe fell off but its cool, i know i will get used to putting it back together again............................OR I will give in and buy the nice imported from europe one at 550LE
another one: Buying furniture in Cairo
There is a street where all types of furniture is made, Mohammed Ali street. we went to buy bedroom furniture with me not knowing that it all comes together - HUGE wardrobe you can fit a small village in, dressing table, bed, bedside tables, chest of drawers and little chair. 3 days it took to buy it. One day to LOOK, one day to AGREE (as the price had come down by 1000LE by then) and one day to PAY. living room suite only took 2 days oh and another day to get a van to deliver it to Luxor................................which arrived there before we did as our plane's engines didnt work
All Egypts furniture is hand carved for King George! beautiful ornate designs with gilt paintwork, what if you want something plain like I did?
Gets furniture back to flat in Luxor........which is not finished yet and we should have moved in on 1st August, so our furniture is sat in the opposite flat on a pile of sand, a very pretty goat used to live in that flat but didnt come back after going to 'help open a new restaurant' (not ours)
i have more stories Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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Good to see you on here again. I'm afraid I learnt the hard way, yes buy the 'expensive' imported stuff, I think all mine is Korean. I know it's not good for the home market but I can't keep replacing the dam stuff every year.
You can get European style furniture in Cairo but it's about the same price as you would pay in the UK if not more. Failing that just find a good carpenter and give him a picture. You MUST have a picture. They are usually good at copying things.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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Hi Penny, I did mean to bring the IKEA catalogue with me but of course i forgot! everything happens at once here and I find im not always ready today when i thought i was yesterday! Got a good (inshaAllah) carpenter making bookcase and desk for me, when thats done I will see what its like before I decide if hes doing the kitchen I have found a beautiful one here in Luxor though, darent ask how much it is malesh, it will all come together see my arabic is getting better
Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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Ok Will give you an idea on Kitchen prices, I had a hand made solid wood outside and inside,( no MDF )Kitchen made and fitted for LE 5,000. 4 upper cupboards and cornice, 7 lower including draw units and shelves. It is beautiful and made to fit round all the awkward shapes.
LOL what was this thread about Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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Theres many foreigners here married an egyptians,which could provide many stories,but Ayisha is right,what kind of stories are you interested in? Anyway my experience also is very positive,im happy with my husband and never been treated as "slave",lolll Dont leave all the bad stories here play with your mind,theres many decent and lovely egytpian men,i was happy to marry one of them!
-------------------- "If you judge people, you have no time to love them" Posts: 1134 | From: NoNe oF uR BuSiNeS | Registered: Jul 2004
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I love my Egyptian husband so much. He is a good man and treats me good. I get a little freaked out reading all the stories here...that give me chills...
posted
as didi says there are a lot of decent, lovely Egy men, mine is certainly one. I have never been treated as a slave or felt controlled by him but I do feel very protected which is wonderful. Its also great to be told to sit while he and other men carry everything for you
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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count me in i have a wonderful husband too and treats me equal. we we talk to each other not at each other. and respect for one another. and in my heart trust is the number 1 thing. he is good that way and very romantic Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
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let some man tell me i cannot answer the door! i could see if ya lived in the ghetto and its was truly dangerous, but thats just plain old ridiculous. i think that men who have severe self confidence troubles are the ones who make up stupid effin sh*t like that.
my ex comes by last night to drop off my daughter and i had a baaaad fight with him. he got a letter sent to my house saying that his mom is petitioned to come to usa again. of course he cant read english so he had me read it and i told him, 'unfortunately they arent kicking you out of the country, so they are sending your mom instead.' then she calls me up and she is coming to america to kick his azz for what he did to me. then he starts on me because a man called my house. MMMMYYYYY HOUSE!!!! i didnt want to answer cuz the number didnt come up and i screen calls. no id, no answer. he answers my phone. then he pulls a knife on me!!!!!!! in front of our 5 yr old girl!!!!! he left us for some old lady who is so damn ugly its not even funny...her house burnt down and he wanted her insurance check. my job put up donation services for her because she couldnt even feed her kids. the whole town knows this woman as her and her sis used to be hookers and meth addicts in the 70's. well, she was so broke and lived in such squalor that my bank fed her kids. then when she gets the money, she uses it on some guy (my ex) instead of feeding her kids with it. its pretty bad when you are so nasty that you have to pay a man 30 g's to stay with you. ew, yall should see him now...he is so skinny and ugly looking. he got her money, and now he has a debt to her. and as she waddles her old fat azz around him, he has to watch as other young pretty girls his own age (including me) walk right by. loool!!!!
but he wont let me go. he had a friend stalk me, and find out where my friends live and all. sometimes i think he might kill me...but why? hes the one who split.
what goes around comes around....i boy is he gettin' his!!!
but no thanks to him, i cannot even FATHOM marrying again. so let some dude tell me i cant answer the door. he'd be out that same door so fast his head will spin.
Posts: 229 | From: florida | Registered: Apr 2007
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Miss Jambi: ''he left us for some old lady who is so damn ugly its not even funny...her house burnt down and he wanted her insurance check. my job put up donation services for her because she couldnt even feed her kids. the whole town knows this woman as her and her sis used to be hookers and meth addicts in the 70's. well, she was so broke and lived in such squalor that my bank fed her kids. then when she gets the money, she uses it on some guy (my ex) instead of feeding her kids with it. its pretty bad when you are so nasty that you have to pay a man 30 g's to stay with you. ew, yall should see him now...he is so skinny and ugly looking. he got her money, and now he has a debt to her. and as she waddles her old fat azz around him, he has to watch as other young pretty girls his own age (including me) walk right by. loool!!!!'' ------------------------------------------- I swear , that brought tears to my eyes, Miss Jambi.
Posts: 2953 | From: Slightly south of Azkaban. | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: Hi Penny, I did mean to bring the IKEA catalogue with me but of course i forgot! everything happens at once here and I find im not always ready today when i thought i was yesterday! Got a good (inshaAllah) carpenter making bookcase and desk for me, when thats done I will see what its like before I decide if hes doing the kitchen I have found a beautiful one here in Luxor though, darent ask how much it is malesh, it will all come together see my arabic is getting better
quote:Originally posted by MissJambi: let some man tell me i cannot answer the door! i could see if ya lived in the ghetto and its was truly dangerous, but thats just plain old ridiculous. i think that men who have severe self confidence troubles are the ones who make up stupid effin sh*t like that.
my ex comes by last night to drop off my daughter and i had a baaaad fight with him. he got a letter sent to my house saying that his mom is petitioned to come to usa again. of course he cant read english so he had me read it and i told him, 'unfortunately they arent kicking you out of the country, so they are sending your mom instead.' then she calls me up and she is coming to america to kick his azz for what he did to me. then he starts on me because a man called my house. MMMMYYYYY HOUSE!!!! i didnt want to answer cuz the number didnt come up and i screen calls. no id, no answer. he answers my phone. then he pulls a knife on me!!!!!!! in front of our 5 yr old girl!!!!! he left us for some old lady who is so damn ugly its not even funny...her house burnt down and he wanted her insurance check. my job put up donation services for her because she couldnt even feed her kids. the whole town knows this woman as her and her sis used to be hookers and meth addicts in the 70's. well, she was so broke and lived in such squalor that my bank fed her kids. then when she gets the money, she uses it on some guy (my ex) instead of feeding her kids with it. its pretty bad when you are so nasty that you have to pay a man 30 g's to stay with you. ew, yall should see him now...he is so skinny and ugly looking. he got her money, and now he has a debt to her. and as she waddles her old fat azz around him, he has to watch as other young pretty girls his own age (including me) walk right by. loool!!!!
but he wont let me go. he had a friend stalk me, and find out where my friends live and all. sometimes i think he might kill me...but why? hes the one who split.
what goes around comes around....i boy is he gettin' his!!!
but no thanks to him, i cannot even FATHOM marrying again. so let some dude tell me i cant answer the door. he'd be out that same door so fast his head will spin.
that was pretty random Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Well I answer the door, and we argue, although we dont argue about me answering the door so thats probably a bonus...lol
I think that you have to judge each person as an individual, whether someone is jealous or well mannered or hot headed is more about personality.
I have also walked out on an arguement, I'm such a rebel I dont think him trying to get me to ask before i stomp out of the room would be good for his health Posts: 644 | Registered: Jul 2007
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Well, well, well... im having troubles :D BUT 1ST I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE AND HELP REGARDING THE VALIDITY OF MY NIKAA TO A YOUNG EGYPTIAN DOCTOR FROM PORT SAID.
I am 21 and from South Africa and not too long ago... end of February 2007 to be exact, the 25 year old guy i met on the net and had been talking to for a year came down to meet my family and get engaged to me...i already knew that they wouldnt allow marriage until i finished my studies...so we tried our luck with engagement...We were so in love and to prevent displeasing Allah and to satisfy the growind need to become 1...we married secretly on 2 March 2007... in a mosque...the Imam performed the Nikaah, we got a marriage certificate, there was Khutbah read, my cousin was there to represent me...there were about 6 witnesses and the nikaa was done...there was the proposal and Qubool...a marriage with Allah as the greatest witness...the next day, he tried his luck with my dad, and my family grew to love him so much which i had hoped, that they agreed to engagement between us(no one knew we had performed the Nikaa)...every1 was happy and all was well...it was agreed that he will return after his practice year to marry...and that my family will visit egypt in a few months to have the engagement party.
a few months down the line things started getn hectic with the distance and missing each other that he was feeling a growing gap on his part...and i was just loving him more and more each day...i was going through a great amount of stress with family problems and was determined to leave home and go to live and study in egypt...by then it was almost too late he was starting to give me less attention and always being busy at the hospital and at nyt too busy in their new pharmacy they opened up...he was slipping away because i wasted time in being together in the first place and easing the distance when he wanted me 2.
Anyhow, i dont have a clue what possessed me to, but i logged into his mobile chat program as i remembered his password from long ago...and found many messages from a girl also from SA, but a different city...she left him offline messages saying that it felt great spending all day with him on skype and looking into his eyes via the webcam and watching the expression on his face when she told him she loves him...and looking at wedding pictures and ideas and dresses etc :( i felt the lump in my throat growing and my eyes flood with tears as i saw the online kiss she gave... i was broken. SORDID BOOM WAS FIGHTING A LOSING BATTLE...
i quickly dried the tears, and replied as though i were him to draw out more info from her...they had been engaged over the net for 3 weeks and knew each other for 2 months...met on Qiran.com...i couldnt handle it anymore...i told her who i was...i was his wife...the one he wanted so badly to see naked via webcam...the one he touched...the one he betrayed.
i quickly got his attention, at 01:00am when he was apparently working late at the pharmacy and told him i knew everything... he said... "it wasnt meant to be this way...i was waiting for the right time to tell you...you chose the crushing way to end this!"...it was all my fault:(
while i was preparing a surprise visit to him and taking actions to pull him closer to me and ease the distance...he was screwing around and cheating me.
so i tried to talk the girl into leaving him...not accepting his invites to chat and just to leave my husband alone...she didnt...
she converted to islam a year ago and was clearly not going to give up my man just yet...she told him everything i said about him and he told me that the marriage papers are not valid...that the marriage is not valid... and he doesnt want to be with me...and he told his parents that my mum remarried a non muslim and she became non muslim(that was apparently a huge issue that he couldnt tell his parents)...even though my whole family is muslim and i am very religious...he acted as though my mother was going to make the marriage!:(
so i am stuck...Ya Rab! i am so messed up...havent eaten for 9 days and miss him terribly. i was so devoted...everyone knew that i was engaged to this wonderful guy from egypt...
because of my immense faith in Allah, i said its ok to him ...he wanted to be friends...i was kind to him and to save myself any further pain...i told him on msn i was going to marry a surgeon from mansoura. he asked if i meant it, i said yes... he said he was happy to hear that and he asked if i wanted him to check out this guy for me...i said no thanks...he proved himself...he waited 3 years...i knew him before you and he is a good man...i dont know why the hell i chose you! :D
FOR THE MOMENT I FELT OK...BUT WHEN IM ALONE THE DAM WALLS IN MY EYES BURST...i act strong...
I still have her and him as contacts on msn...i saw her online today and just said salaam and how are you...it ended up being a lengthy conversation in which she told me that he told her that im in love again and i met someone else and he still wants to be with her... he told her that our marriage is not rightful and that my uncle did the nikaa...a total lie...
when the sh** initially hit the fan she told me that he never said he was married...he said he did not marry me...he just came to see a girl in SA and it didnt work out and he did not love her... :'( so why the damn f*** did he enter the mosque and sign the nikaa paper anyway...?...he told her that i forced him into it...i didnt...we both wanted it so badly...in my opinion he had a choice to make and he made it that day...
so he still insists to the other 21 year old that my uncle did the nikaah...a lie....he insists that he talaaked me...he never did say "I DIVORCE YOU"...a lie 2... how could he have divorced the woman if he claims the marriage is not valid or even that he never married her! ;) such a joke! :D
FALSE HOPES...BROKEN PROMISES...I WAS BETRAYED BY A GUY WHO PROMISED TO LOVE AND CARE FOR ME ALWAYS...!
I merely said to the girl...believe what you want to believe...at the end of the day i know the truth , Allah knows the truth... and all our wrong actions will be judged by him alone... I have put my faith and trust in Allah... im tired of talking now.
So she said she needed to ask one more thing...something she really needs to know...did he and i have an intimate night/ encounter...coz he swears that he only touched me.
Ehm! What the f*** :D ...of course i said yes...we had intimate moments and an encounter that filled my eyes with tears...we refused to let go and he held me so tite...and i cant speak anymore..im in tears:(... (we did not have ***, we lay together and did other stuff...that touching was very intimate to me)
I KNOW WHAT UR THINKING! NO I CANT GO TELL THE GAL WE DIDNT HAVE S**!... :D
so she said she will speak to Mo and get to the bottom of this and will tell me her final decision.....oath.
she asked me...if she decided to end things with him and he wanted to give me another chance...would i go to egypt and live with him and make him happy?...she wants his happiness.
i said i would give him my world as iv always wanted to and i have always been very devoted in the marriage...
but i know she's nt gona leave him the hell alone :(
SO ANYWAY...THATS MY DILEMMA...
I NEED TO KNOW... IS MY MARRIAGE VALID? according to islamic law...it was Hanafi nikaa :rolleyes:
and what the hell must i do now? :confused:
Posts: 6 | From: South Africa | Registered: Aug 2007
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Well, well, well... im having troubles BUT 1ST I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE AND HELP REGARDING THE VALIDITY OF MY NIKAA TO A YOUNG EGYPTIAN DOCTOR FROM PORT SAID.
I am 21 and from South Africa and not too long ago... end of February 2007 to be exact, the 25 year old guy i met on the net and had been talking to for a year came down to meet my family and get engaged to me...i already knew that they wouldnt allow marriage until i finished my studies...so we tried our luck with engagement...We were so in love and to prevent displeasing Allah and to satisfy the growind need to become 1...we married secretly... in a mosque...the Imam performed the Nikaah, we got a marriage certificate, there was Khutbah read, my cousin was there to represent me...there were about 6 witnesses and the nikaa was done...there was the proposal and Qubool...a marriage with Allah as the greatest witness...the next day, he tried his luck with my dad, and my family grew to love him so much which i had hoped, that they agreed to engagement between us(no one knew we had performed the Nikaa)...every1 was happy and all was well...it was agreed that he will return after his practice year to marry...and that my family will visit egypt in a few months to have the engagement party.
a few months down the line things started getn hectic with the distance and missing each other that he was feeling a growing gap on his part...and i was just loving him more and more each day...i was going through a great amount of stress with family problems and was determined to leave home and go to live and study in egypt...by then it was almost too late he was starting to give me less attention and always being busy at the hospital and at nyt too busy in their new pharmacy they opened up...he was slipping away because i wasted time in being together in the first place and easing the distance when he wanted me 2.
Anyhow, i dont have a clue what possessed me to, but i logged into his mobile chat program as i remembered his password from long ago...and found many messages from a girl also from SA, but a different city...she left him offline messages saying that it felt great spending all day with him on skype and looking into his eyes via the webcam and watching the expression on his face when she told him she loves him...and looking at wedding pictures and ideas and dresses etc ... i felt the lump in my throat growing and my eyes flood with tears as i saw the online kiss she gave... i was broken. SORDID BOOM WAS FIGHTING A LOSING BATTLE...
i quickly dried the tears, and replied as though i were him to draw out more info from her...they had been engaged over the net for 3 weeks and knew each other for 2 months...met on Qiran.com...i couldnt handle it anymore...i told her who i was...i was his wife...the one he wanted so badly to see naked via webcam...the one he touched...the one he betrayed.
i quickly got his attention, at 01:00am when he was apparently working late at the pharmacy and told him i knew everything... he said... "it wasnt meant to be this way...i was waiting for the right time to tell you...you chose the crushing way to end this!"...it was all my fault
while i was preparing a surprise visit to him and taking actions to pull him closer to me and ease the distance...he was screwing around and cheating me.
so i tried to talk the girl into leaving him...not accepting his invites to chat and just to leave my husband alone...she didnt...
she converted to islam a year ago and was clearly not going to give up my man just yet...she told him everything i said about him and he told me that the marriage papers are not valid...that the marriage is not valid... and he doesnt want to be with me...and he told his parents that my mum remarried a non muslim and she became non muslim(that was apparently a huge issue that he couldnt tell his parents)...even though my whole family is muslim and i am very religious...he acted as though my mother was going to make the marriage!
so i am stuck...Ya Rab! i am so messed up...havent eaten for 9 days and miss him terribly. i was so devoted...everyone knew that i was engaged to this wonderful guy from egypt...
because of my immense faith in Allah, i said its ok to him ...he wanted to be friends...i was kind to him and to save myself any further pain...i told him on msn i was going to marry a surgeon from mansoura. he asked if i meant it, i said yes... he said he was happy to hear that and he asked if i wanted him to check out this guy for me...i said no thanks...he proved himself...he waited 3 years...i knew him before you and he is a good man...i dont know why the hell i chose you!
FOR THE MOMENT I FELT OK...BUT WHEN IM ALONE THE DAM WALLS IN MY EYES BURST...i act strong...
I still have her and him as contacts on msn...i saw her online today and just said salaam and how are you...it ended up being a lengthy conversation in which she told me that he told her that im in love again and i met someone else and he still wants to be with her... he told her that our marriage is not rightful and that my uncle did the nikaa...a total lie...
when the sh** initially hit the fan she told me that he never said he was married...he said he did not marry me...he just came to see a girl in SA and it didnt work out and he did not love her... so why the damn f*** did he enter the mosque and sign the nikaa paper anyway...?...he told her that i forced him into it...i didnt...we both wanted it so badly...in my opinion he had a choice to make and he made it that day...
so he still insists to the other 21 year old that my uncle did the nikaah...a lie....he insists that he talaaked me...he never did say "I DIVORCE YOU"...a lie 2... how could he have divorced the woman if he claims the marriage is not valid or even that he never married her! such a joke!
FALSE HOPES...BROKEN PROMISES...I WAS BETRAYED BY A GUY WHO PROMISED TO LOVE AND CARE FOR ME ALWAYS...!
I merely said to the girl...believe what you want to believe...at the end of the day i know the truth , Allah knows the truth... and all our wrong actions will be judged by him alone... I have put my faith and trust in Allah... im tired of talking now.
So she said she needed to ask one more thing...something she really needs to know...did he and i have an intimate night/ encounter...coz he swears that he only touched me.
Ehm! What the f*** ...of course i said yes...we had intimate moments and an encounter that filled my eyes with tears...we refused to let go and he held me so tite...and i cant speak anymore..im in tears... (we did not have ***, we lay together and did other stuff...that touching was very intimate to me)
I KNOW WHAT UR THINKING! NO I CANT GO TELL THE GAL WE DIDNT HAVE S**!...
so she said she will speak to Mo and get to the bottom of this and will tell me her final decision.....oath.
she asked me...if she decided to end things with him and he wanted to give me another chance...would i go to egypt and live with him and make him happy?...she wants his happiness.
i said i would give him my world as iv always wanted to and i have always been very devoted in the marriage...
but i know she's nt gona leave him the hell alone
SO ANYWAY...THATS MY DILEMMA...
I NEED TO KNOW... IS MY MARRIAGE VALID? ...according to islamic law it was Hanafi nikaa
and what the hell must i do now?
Posts: 6 | From: South Africa | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
I would back to the mosque and ask them. they are the best people to advise you
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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MY HEART STILL WANTS THE BASTARD BACK I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO... WHY DOES HE WANT TO KEEP ME ON MSN OR TALK TO ME BUT TELL ME HE DOESNT WANT TO BE WITH ME
HELP ME LADIES...WHAT DO I DO?...WISH SOMEONE SOMEWHERE COULD TALK SOME SENSE INTO HIM Posts: 6 | From: South Africa | Registered: Aug 2007
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-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Nef3rTiTi_786: MY HEART STILL WANTS THE BASTARD BACK I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO... WHY DOES HE WANT TO KEEP ME ON MSN OR TALK TO ME BUT TELL ME HE DOESNT WANT TO BE WITH ME
HELP ME LADIES...WHAT DO I DO?...WISH SOMEONE SOMEWHERE COULD TALK SOME SENSE INTO HIM
Interesting language for a young woman who claims to be very religious!
If you married in secret, without letting your father know about it or even trying to get his consent before you asked your cousin to be your wali, it would seem to me that your marriage is not a valid one anyway, even under Hanafi law, no matter how many witnesses there were; you only need two. Why did you tell the Imam that your father wasn't acting as your wali? It would seem that the reason why you should have had a responsible wali has been shown clearly by what has just happened to you.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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Ya bint el halal just leave him he is not a good man! Throw the paper and ask him to say I divorce you if u want to hear it, but in reality he does not want to be with you and the religious marriage is just a symbolic one if no marriage is registered anywhere.. Please, where is your pride?
Why do people try to force people to take them back???
she asked me...if she decided to end things with him and he wanted to give me another chance...would i go to egypt and live with him and make him happy?...she wants his happiness.
i said i would give him my world as iv always wanted to and i have always been very devoted in the marriage...
but i know she's nt gona leave him the hell alone
That is just pathetic.
Don't complain about being treated like a doormat if you think and act like one. Posts: 3587 | Registered: Mar 2006
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I am so sorry to read your story and don't listen to the "doormat" comment - people in love do stupid things. It comes with the territory.
I can see you are more preoccupied with loosing him to the other girl. I can understand that - but focus clearly on the situation and you will see it is your pride feeling that. You don't want to feel less and you fear you are if he chooses her. BUT YOU ARE NOT. This is his issue - not yours. It is clear that he is the kind of man who thinks of his needs first and then that of the woman's. Do you want to spend your life married to a man who puts you second? Who concentrates on what he wants and needs first and then gets around to remembering you? It affects you in daily life in the long run.
I am sorry he lied and cheated. It is not because he is Egyptian though. It is because he is who HE is. I know it is the worst feeling in the world to be cheated on. I have been on both ends and trust me when I tell you that the pain he will carry the rest of his life for his infidelity and lies will hurt him more than it will ever hurt you. You will heal sooner than you think, move on, and be rewarded with a true love Allah will give you...meanwhile, he will be left with the reality of knowing he is lower than he was created to be. In the end, when the day is through, and sleep creeps in...the mind wanders...we remember...and whether we admit it out loud or not...we cannot hide from reality...and he is no exception.
My advice to you is to remove them both from your MSN. I know you cling to that because you think it is the one way to keep some kind of control in your life since it is spiriling out of control. Yet, it is not healthy for you. Remove them and block them.
Tell Allah every day, "Thank you Allah for clearing the road for me and leading me to where you need me to be. Thank you Allah for having so much love for me that you guide me even when my eyes cannot see and my heart confuses me. Thank you for preparing love for me." Believe it. Say it as many times a day as you have to. Get on your knees and pray for them and Allah will heal your heart. I promise you this. Turn to Allah.
This happened to me one day......I prayed....I cried....I thanked Allah for his guidance and protection from a man like this. I never thought my heart would mend...and it did. I found a man I love more than I have ever loved before.
lOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO KNOW YOU DESERVE BETTER. TO WALK AWAY WISHING GOOD THINGS FOR THEM AND KNOWING YOU ARE WORTH MUCH MORE IN LIFE.
quote:Originally posted by ameriegypt: I am so sorry to read your story and don't listen to the "doormat" comment - people in love do stupid things. It comes with the territory.
Well, yes, people in love do stupid things sometimes, me included. But there's a limit to everything ... Posts: 3587 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Almaz: Ya bint el halal
Oh I like that expression! I am definitely the opposite - okay only sometimes! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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...i have read that superb message of yours and i truly appreciate the good advice that u have given... and i have taken it
I feel pleased to say that i do feel much better and realised that its only a matter of time to get over it and he is not the only man in this world... although i may not have said the same thing if you had asked me before ...lol
It takes a bit of time to get over the whole trauma, but yes, Alhamdulellah...Allahu Akbar... i am almost over it.
It was an experience in my life, something to learn from, and Insha Allah, in future, i will be sure to display a bit more dominance in a relationship and not sit back and accept everything as it comes...i dont know what he did to me, i wasnt like that before.
I am just glad though that what i had been through has increased my Imaan rather than taint it, it has made me a bolder and stronger muslim... The only ones who you can truly trust in this world in Allah, Ur parents and urself.
Somehow i dont feel angry at him for what he did...i don't know...am i crazy?...or is it that i have just realised that even if i could, i wouldnt go back to him...and he really isnt the right man for me...he is not a REAL man to make a woman feel inferior without her consent... Anyway, he lowered himself in the process not me I AM HERE AND HEARTY AS EVER! I PITY HIM...SHAME.
I am concentrating on myself now, and developing myself, meeting new people, thinking freely and living a carefree life...it feels great.
Soon i will travel to Saudi to work and live there and complete my studies through the University of SA... and yes iv met someone who has assisted me in forgetting about the Nutcracker... someone of Moroccan ethnicity but from Germany... although he's wayyyy older... DAMN! am i thinking?... i know what you may say...this girl is nuts!...but no, he's a good man, with a sound, mature mind and pious... He has a GRRREAT career and is quite successful, and will transfer his work to Saudi...
There are many wonderful people in this world...and i am greatful to the amazing friends i have who have pulled me through this... including yourself.
I guess part of me just has the knowledge that that poor girl will have what she deserves coming...and she will be out of his life quite fast after seeing his other side!
Roses dont stay beautiful forever... with time things will change and issues will surface...anyway, let them enjoy while it lasts.
I'M TURNING MY LIFE AROUND AND CREATING MY OWN HAPPINESS...
I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON...THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE WONDERFUL WORDS...YOU EASED MY TROUBLED MIND.
They say "No-one is worth your tears, and the one who is, wouldn't make you cry"... i dont know how true that is...i have yet to see that day...and meet that remarkable person...maybe i already have... Allah knows Best.
Take Care
Posts: 6 | From: South Africa | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
HEY...ANYONE KNOWS MUCH ABOUT LIVING EXPENSES IN SAUDI?...WHAT CAN WE DO WITH 7500 US DOLLARS A MONTH THERE?... WHAT ARE THE COSTS LIKE?... WILL WE BE ABLE TO LIVE COMFORTABLY? Posts: 6 | From: South Africa | Registered: Aug 2007
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: gee, I wonder who Nef3rTiTi_786 could be....
Who is it? I always hear ES members say they know who someone is. Why does everyone keep changing his or her display name? What is there to hide?
ameriegypt ~ That's very good advice. I think it's difficult to spring back from this sort of cold deception. Not to get melodramatic, but it's almost like a person needs superhuman strength to fight the hurt, the anger, the humiliation. I realize that in life SO MANY THINGS can be truly devastating, but looking at this within the context of relationships, it's just about the worst.
Nef ~ I totally get where you're coming from, but I think the marriage license or ceremony is the least of your worries. I mean, the guy totally played you. Whoever you are... nobody deserves that... nobody. Heal yourself... go to google.com and type in the words "law of attraction" and read about how you can attract good things into your life. It works! salaam!
Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2005
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