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My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond. ------------------------------------------------- My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in. ------------------------------------------------- A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "Goodbye, I'll miss you." ------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour. ------------------------------------------------- He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you've succeeded. ------------------------------------------------- He said 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'. She said 'That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart'. ------------------------------------------------- He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money that I gave you?' She said 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat B*st*rd'. ------------------------------------------------- Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism. ------------------------------------------------- Q: What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving -------------------------------------------------
Posts: 1797 | From: By my husband's side | Registered: Nov 2007
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