posted
Continual forgiveness really does make people predictable. It is also a wide open door for it to happen again and again as sorry seems to cure so much. No prevention and all cure.
Bluesky. I really do understand all you say. Investing time and emotion on somebody who turns arounds and hurts you is a horrid feeling. I don't just mean from a partner but also from a friend or a member.
I value my life so much I could walk away from somebody after 10 years if they hurt me. I would happily say godbye to a bad person as it gives me the chance to say hello to many other good people
A good break from the old routine always helps people evaluate their life and allow us to see what really does and doesn't matter in life Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by snow white: Blusky...come with me and Advocate next year ...having a girlie holiday lol
oooooooooooooooo where we going girls im packed and ready just nipping to asda to get my tannin lotion, its on sale now lol
Posts: 426 | From: england | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
thank you to everyone that has replied on my original posting, and although it has gone off the subject as miss sharm said, for me personally it has all helped me so much, more than any of you realise and i want to say a big thank you to everyone, it has truely helped, and i didnt get any bad advice or name calling so thanks again to everyone mwahhhh to all
Posts: 426 | From: england | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
I think everyone has given his advice and counsel, she is now able to make the appropriate decision, the key question is how divorce proceedings take place in Egypt From my experience and my work of the divorce in Egypt is very difficult, especially if the marriage was documented, you must convince the judge to seek a divorce and the reasons must be strong reasons, The divorce proceedings could last two or three years if you are lucky, and you have skillful lawyer , and if your husband have skillful lawyer, May remain the case at least 5 years,The cost is very high, because the cost of lawyers procedures expenses are very high But there is a new solution Egyptian courts have been introduced a few years ago,(A magic solution)((( al khol3)I do not know if some understood the meaning of the word,I explained to you simply, you going to judge (or your lawyer)and requests him Khul3 ,Whatever the reasons it is enough to tell you not love him and you can not live with him,and you are ready to give up any benefits and retern back all gifts received and given you In this case, the proceedings will take 4 or 5 month at most but the best solution in my view, to agree with him retern back him his gifts and expenses and undertake not to claim any benefits and ending the proceedings in a few hours I think if you do not love him or you are not seeking to acquire any gains you choose on this solution,The losses will be much lower, at least will provide counsel fees,The final decision is due to you thanks
Posts: 39 | From: between Egypt and kuwait | Registered: Oct 2008
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quote:Originally posted by The Fantom: Whatever the reasons it is enough to tell you not love him and you can not live with him,and you are ready to give up any benefits and retern back all gifts received and given you In this case, the proceedings will take 4 or 5 month at most but the best solution in my view, to agree with him retern back him his gifts and expenses and undertake not to claim any benefits
Why do you speak with reference that the woman has to do all these things so that they can divorce??????
Should the man not be prepared to give up any benefits that he may receive because of marriage? Should he also return back to the woman any gifts and expenses and also undertake not to claim any benefits?
What advice is correct because I am sure I read somewhere if the woman goes back to Egypt she can divorce the man and it will be finalised in approx. 10 days.
Does anyone know the correct advice and procedure?
Good luck xblueskyx in whatever decisions you reach Posts: 1244 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by The Fantom: Whatever the reasons it is enough to tell you not love him and you can not live with him,and you are ready to give up any benefits and retern back all gifts received and given you In this case, the proceedings will take 4 or 5 month at most but the best solution in my view, to agree with him retern back him his gifts and expenses and undertake not to claim any benefits
Why do you speak with reference that the woman has to do all these things so that they can divorce??????
Should the man not be prepared to give up any benefits that he may receive because of marriage? Should he also return back to the woman any gifts and expenses and also undertake not to claim any benefits?
What advice is correct because I am sure I read somewhere if the woman goes back to Egypt she can divorce the man and it will be finalised in approx. 10 days.
Does anyone know the correct advice and procedure?
Good luck xblueskyx in whatever decisions you reach
This is how it goes if _a woman_ wants to divorce. The husband can say no, so then the only choice is khul divorce. Then you give back everything you got from him.
In this article it says "In regular divorce cases, women have to prove that they have been exposed to harm or hardship and the judge may reject or accept the application. The khul' procedure offers a very different terrain indeed. Under khul', a woman does not have to give a reason for seeking a divorce."
I would guess this is the same whether you're Egyptian of foreigner, law is law. Easiest way would be if her husband did the divorce.
Posts: 758 | From: Finland | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
I think that cloudberry posting is 100%true ,she talks like a lawyer, in this case of Khul,because the woman is the one who requests the Khul (she refuses to live with him) noone can gain everything in the battle and add to that, because the Arabman or Muslim is committed to spend on his wife.not the wife.
and miss sharm says if she went to Egypt she could end the case during the 10 days,I am afraid that lawyers try to facilitate things so great to win the customer, and after the first step that can not be reversed and have to wait until the end of the case which may take years,
as miss sharm says "she could end the case during the 10 daysit" could be right in one case that both she and husband are agree and wants to divorce or kholh.
what many people here from non-Egyptians don't know that ,According to Egyptian law, it is the husband's right to ask the wife obedience(ta'ah) (on obedience that in the absence of a reason for divorce ,so the court would not agree to divorce if he refused to divorce and provide a house (any simple house) and the law forcing her to live with him at this house. All of that is easy as if she is not exist in Egypt he can not reach her, but if she gose to egypt ,this the problem because according to Egyptian law he can prevent her from leaving egypt unless he accepts , her name and passport details will be in all egyptian ports to prevent her. In the end I think the most appropriate solution is to go for Khul or ask his close friends to Convince him to accept the divorce or kholh
Posts: 39 | From: between Egypt and kuwait | Registered: Oct 2008
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posted
There is something like honour involved in teh Khul-divorce, I have heard that it is a big disgrace for both of the partners?
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by xblueskyx: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Lady Ferret: I am just a happy little lady ferret
I would walk away from a first date and a marriage if I had to question it's sincerity so much. [/i would too lf, but when you spend months or even years learnign about someone, trusting them, and believing all they say with no reason to doubt it, you fall in love, and then later discover this person isnt the person you thought you new, walking away sint always as easy as that, you live in hope that this person will change, or improve even, but unfortuatly i have learnt now that matter how much you wish, or want that to happen, it cant, it wont, and the person you fell in love with is not real,
I think you show a lot of insight here bluesky, inshaAllah you can keep hold of it
All the way through this thread, it made me think of that old phrase 'Marry in haste, repent in leisure', isn't it so so true, we are always quick to marry without really thinking of how things could be if it goes wrong...but then, i guess if we thought like that we would never marry.
I watched 'I dream of Jeanie' today, who remembers that? Where the jeanie is calling him 'master'. Well maybe I had my feminist specs on this morning, but weren't men so much happier then in the west? when wifey did as she was told...looking at the credits in the program after i looked for any female names, for sound, lighting, production etc.
Back then, a man could withdraw all the money from his wifes account you know, and she couldnt do a thing about it.
We really have come a long way in 50 years, and while some of us (myself included) long for a man to take some responsibility off us and ease the burden of having to be superwoman, its a hard call what price we pay for that.
Posts: 552 | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
iv never called you sad or pathetic and yes its all doom n gloom well maybe you can tell me what time the pyramids close Posts: 426 | From: england | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
I think you can see this in any forum in internet! It's quite easy and handy to come here asking for help when you've problems but if everything is fine or even perfect - would anyone bother to write it in internet...I don't think so.
That's why you also might get an impression mixed relationships never work but there are A LOT of normal marriages out there, they just don't have the time for hanging in internet.
Posts: 758 | From: Finland | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by advocate: Sometimes continual forgiving can make you predicatble to him, which'll make him think he can walk over you, which in turn can lower your self esteem and confidence and ultimately make you feel you are lucky to have him, which is empowering to him.
You need a girlie holiday to show there is life after marriage (or even during it! ) and that you can if needed function without him.
good luck in your decision making hun
Yes, that's so true... Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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