posted
at some point throughout my long life, Ive done all three! -
In retrospect, I should have followed my head ,
following the heart and accepting only what I thought at the time I deserved was the the wrong path to choose
Posts: 712 | Registered: Apr 2008
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posted
Love is complicated issue, in our life time some experience it more than once, and others might have felt it once. If you get hurt then you think twice before getting your heart to lead you but if you shield your heart, and use your head only, and what you should deserve, it does not mean you will get it right.
Posts: 816 | From: london | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
Your heart and head is the same thing (because anytime people talk about following their heart, they do not mean the organ that pumps blood around the body, but their emotive side of the mind). Usually the heart symbolises what the person actually wants to do. Whereas the head symbolises almost a third party, what someone else would think detached from the situation. Situations are always easier when the two are in agreement, but when they clash (be it because of love, or perhaps you really want a chocolate cake but know that would go against your diet), then I say go with the "heart" as it is what you really want to do. Life is too short. Eat that damn chocolate cake and start afresh tomorrow! It might go wrong, but had you followed your head, there is no guarantee that will always go right either. It’s like one of those books, where you make the story as you go along, and it gives you page choices depending on what you want to do. Everyone goes to the page they want, however, they always keep their finger on the original, so they can start again if it goes wrong. That’s what we should do in life I'm lucky, my heart and head are telling me the same thing- I just wish I didn't let other peoples opinions stop me.
-------------------- Another one.... Posts: 2573 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2008
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quote:Originally posted by **cat**: When it comes to love and relationships do you think we:
Follow our heart?
Follow our head?
Accept only what we think we deserve?
Heart and head has to be in balance, so we can make well balanced decisions. The expression 'follow our hearts' is nothing more then a sign of unbalance. If your heart is telling you something different as your head is telling you, something is wrong. Head is rational, heart is emotional, and if one out of two has more weight, then we get an unbalanced life...
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by **cat**: When it comes to love and relationships do you think we:
Follow our heart?
Follow our head?
Accept only what we think we deserve?
Heart and head has to be in balance, so we can make well balanced decisions. The expression 'follow our hearts' is nothing more then a sign of unbalance. If your heart is telling you something different as your head is telling you, something is wrong. Head is rational, heart is emotional, and if one out of two has more weight, then we get an unbalanced life...
Easier said than done, right?
Just following your heart is a bad idea- you're setting yourself up for some serious conflict if you make life choices based purely on emotions or irrationality.
Posts: 1967 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
I only ever accept what I think I deserve and I think I deserve nothing but the very best.
I have a theory when it comes to deciding between the emotive and the logic... simply just don't think too much about it and just go with the flow Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by **cat**: When it comes to love and relationships do you think we:
Follow our heart?
Follow our head?
Accept only what we think we deserve?
Heart and head has to be in balance, so we can make well balanced decisions. The expression 'follow our hearts' is nothing more then a sign of unbalance. If your heart is telling you something different as your head is telling you, something is wrong. Head is rational, heart is emotional, and if one out of two has more weight, then we get an unbalanced life...
Easier said than done, right?
Just following your heart is a bad idea- you're setting yourself up for some serious conflict if you make life choices based purely on emotions or irrationality.
Of course! But at the same time, I think, that people in common, are well aware that they are led by emotions, and are ready to take bad decisions. One would call it the little voice inside of us, one would name it intuition, but people who are that far out of balance that they are purely led by one of the tow scales of the balance, are rare. And IF they happened to be in such a situation, immediatly after that, they will know that they have made a mistake...
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
That's an easy question to answer for me, i don't think at all about love in the romantic sense. i think about love for my family,love for my fellow man,etc,but romantic love? no.
Posts: 3945 | From: ' Res Contr ' Amor non es guirens, lai on sos poders s'atura | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
I think that the foundation should be the heart and then let it develop and see if your mind agrees with it. If you choose what you think you deserve it is good to know yourself very well to know exactly what it is you want. But if you are just a picky chooser you will end up alone because everybody has faults.
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by gyne: I think that the foundation should be the heart and then let it develop and see if your mind agrees with it. If you choose what you think you deserve it is good to know yourself very well to know exactly what it is you want. But if you are just a picky chooser you will end up alone because everybody has faults.
Yes, exactly. And we should not expect and demand toooo much because we will end up eternally frustrated. Oh well, I wish I could always abide by this.
Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by xxx: Love sucks....big time.
If both participants (or more) are good at it.
I think squirting is fake and that it is cheating.
You psycho bitch, you make everything disgusting and sick. Everytime you write something, -anything- I want throw up.
Posts: 132 | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by **cat**: When it comes to love and relationships do you think we:
Follow our heart?
Follow our head?
Accept only what we think we deserve?
Love. Do u say "Love"? I can't remember where I heard this word last time. Does it exist nowadays..tell me where? Anywhere whatever u choose you will get the same result. Something like a football match u see and know the result in advance.
Posts: 206 | From: Egypt | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
J. A. Lee defined six varieties of relationship that might be labeled love.
What six different types of love did J. A. Lee define? Eros is romantic, passionate, love—what Tennov labeled limerence. In this type of relationship, love is life's most important thing. Lee said a search for physical beauty or an ideal type also typifies this type of love.
Ludus is a game-playing or uncommitted love. Lying is part of the game. A person who pursues ludic love may have many conquests but remains uncommitted.
Storge (STORE-gay) is a slow developing, friendship-based loved. People with this type of relationship like to participate in activities together. Often storge results in a long-term relationship in which sex might not be very intense or passionate.
Pragma is a pragmatic, practical, mutually beneficial relationship. It may be somewhat unromantic. A person who leans toward this type of relationship may look for a partner at work or where the person is spending time. Sex is likely to be seen as a technical matter needed for producing children, if they are desired.
Mania is an obsessive or possessive love, jealous and extreme. A person in love this way is likely to do something crazy or silly, such as stalking. The movie Fatal Attraction was about this type.
Agape (a-GOP-aye) is a gentle, caring, giving type of love, brotherly love, not concerned with the self. It is relatively rare. Mother Theresa showed this kind of love for impoverished people.
Hendrick, Hendrick, Slapion-Foote, and Foote (1985) found that men were more likely to show the ludic type of love, while women were more likely to be storgic or pragmatic.
Studies of couples happily married for over 30 years showed that couples who rated their marriages as highly satisfactory described their relationship in terms which resembled erotic love more than the other five types. This might be surprising; in view of the earlier-mentioned finding that limerence type relationships tend to flare out quickly among college students. However, it might be the case that long-term relationships that contain both friendship and a passionate spark are more likely to endure and provide satisfaction to both parties than relationships that are low-key and pragmatic.
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I definitely agree that there are many types of love.
I have always desired passionate love but I feel that perhaps it is a negative type but my head is full of these romantic ideas after seeing and reading films, books etc. about the knight on the white horse.
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
And they lived long and happily ever after...
Of course everybody is free to make their own goals in life, but isn't this a bit unreaslistic? I can dream of winning Wimbledon being admired by tenthousands of people, reality is that I won't come further as the clubchampionship of an amateure-club, not even in a high ranking! Difference is, that I know who I am and are capable to do, so I know my place. Lowest division with the other middleaged, hehe. But I can dream...dreaming doesn't hurt someone...
As long as my dreams are no obstacles for reality, nothing wrong with dreaming. And as long as you keep in mind that nobody will come to offer you a happy and untroubled life... You have to do it yourself!
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
And do you know what? I think that my marriage is actually getting better! And how, you must ask after all these months and years of drama and fighting and endless posts of me complaining about my husband and his ways!
1) We make deals 2) We smile deliberately 3) We co-operate
It is a little bit like work but the rewards are so much better!
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by xxx: Love sucks....big time.
right!! too much emotional BS...you end up hurting more than you feel good.
i vouch for random sex ... this way there are no strings attached and you can send the bastard home, sit back and enjoy your freedomness.
love is nice, but then once you get the ol' ball and chain thing going on, kiss your freedom, sanity and peace of mind goodbye.
when a man tells me he loves me I totally freeze up and literally stutter trying to get any words out. I hate that cuz I dont want to say it back yet I dont want him to feel stupid either.
So I just say, 'sweety we dont know each other that well yet. slow it down, k?'
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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i vouch for random sex ... this way there are no strings attached and you can send the bastard home, sit back and enjoy your freedomness.
Not everyone can do random sex though, most people need some other 'feelings' involved apart from basic animal lust.
Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by **cat**: When it comes to love and relationships do you think we:
Follow our heart?
Follow our head?
Accept only what we think we deserve?
I have no heart anymore as for my head which i assume is my brain has become with no feelings Would i ever do this again NOT ON YOUR NELLY !!!! I deserve much more in life now as i have seen SUGAR turn to SALT
Posts: 1116 | From: WARNING All stressed out & no one to choke | Registered: Sep 2008
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quote: I have always desired passionate love but I feel that perhaps it is a negative type but my head is full of these romantic ideas after seeing and reading films, books etc. about the knight on the white horse.
I have the exact same problem. I have always been a huge fantasy book fan, and in those, there is always a dashing hero that sweeps the woman off her feet and saves the day. Damn fiction! lol.
-------------------- Another one.... Posts: 2573 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2008
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i vouch for random sex ... this way there are no strings attached and you can send the bastard home, sit back and enjoy your freedomness.
Not everyone can do random sex though, most people need some other 'feelings' involved apart from basic animal lust.
i also dont do a man less i feel for him. u think i go out to bars and pick up dudes?? uh HELLZ NO!!!
i just dont like to fall in love because it seems once i give in, he hurts me or im thinking about him all day or i am waiting for his nightly call...i dont like being consumed by a man like that. i hate the feeling in ur tummy and heart u get when u meet someobody new. too stressful. when i get into a new lovey romantic relationship i totaly lose myself and i hate it.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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i vouch for random sex ... this way there are no strings attached and you can send the bastard home, sit back and enjoy your freedomness.
Not everyone can do random sex though, most people need some other 'feelings' involved apart from basic animal lust.
i also dont do a man less i feel for him. u think i go out to bars and pick up dudes?? uh HELLZ NO!!!
i just dont like to fall in love because it seems once i give in, he hurts me or im thinking about him all day or i am waiting for his nightly call...i dont like being consumed by a man like that. i hate the feeling in ur tummy and heart u get when u meet someobody new. too stressful. when i get into a new lovey romantic relationship i totaly lose myself and i hate it.
I didnt say anything about you going to bars and picking up men YOU said you vouch for random sex with no strings attached, that doesnt happen if there are 'feelings' other than basic animal lust!
Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street
Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant. Marriage is Chinese take-out.
Love is cuddling on a sofa. Marriage is deciding on a sofa.
Love is talking about having children. Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
Love is losing your appetite. Marriage is losing your figure.
Love is a flickering flame. Marriage is a flickering television.
Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough?!"
Posts: 3773 | From: unfinished thought | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
I have had a few relationships where I have followed my head and I wasn't in love. I liked the person but that was it.
The times that I followed my heart, I have always ended up falling very deeply for someone who is completely unsuitable and treated me badly. For a while I thought that this is what I deserved but I now know better.
But I still can't make my heart behave Posts: 132 | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
im beginning to feel love. the man im seeing now has proved himself to be more than i could have ever expected. i had in my head the kind of guy I wanted to settle with, if I ever did settle, but thought he dont exist.
Ayman, he is there for me when I want him to be and I don't even need to lok for him or ask. He listen to me and shows anger at those who have hurt me. He is 36, and acts like it. So many times I been with a guy even at the age and they are so stupid and immature. Ayman has it all. He has his own place, his own career here in NYC, his own wheels, his own life. Of course material things dont phase me, but I like the fact he has his own life established unlike so many others who work some crappy in between job and lives with at least 5 other arab men in a little apartment and don't know what to do in their life yet.
He comes up with the best ideas and is always suprising me. This past weekend I come over his house and he has a bottle of Alize, roses and a lobster/steak dinner waiting. Then slides me a box with a gold bracelet. I got tears in my eyes at this, because nobody ever gives me gifts.
Last night he was talking about what we should do in 2 weeks when I go back up to see him and he was just spouting out ideas. He then told me that is the weekend the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center is up so he wants to take me there. I was so touched by his desire to take me to such wonderful things. Then he said before his parents come to stay with him for a month, he wants to take me to a nice hotel so we can spend a day at the spa! Now THAT threw me for a loop! I'll take it! He ran off the whole weekend, then said, 'Sunday morning we can wake up, go out to breakfast and go shopping.' I dont know if I am comfortable with a man buying me things all the time like that cuz like I said, Im not used to gifts. IM always the giver. I told him I have no trust for men and couldn't handle him leaving me whenever he asks me why I don't open up to him well. He just keeps telling me that I'm the one and he would never leave me. Last night he was also talking AGAIN about a baby. He wants one so badly!
I don't know guys, I know I said this a lot, but I really think that this guy is the one. I will never EVER find one like him again. He treats people so nicely and respects women so much. He has so much class and an open mind.
Hope it works.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
It's like sitting in a launderette somedays!!!
Don't you have a diary you can write in MD and spare us from your long-winded posts about a bloke!
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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YOU said you vouch for random sex with no strings attached, that doesnt happen if there are 'feelings' other than basic animal lust!
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