posted
It's my first topic here that i wanna have a rational advice for me. I'm a Chinese girl who works as a tour leader now,Two months ago,i met him in Cairo when i led a tourist group to Egypt.Actually i had a strong feeling for him at the very first sight.He is a moslim ,27years old,and also one of our tourist guide who speaks English.After two days we met, he asked me out to tour Cairo and let me know his feeling for me.We did have intimacy thing that night at hotel. For that,i knew of him is a virgin,and totally seriously about the relationship if he had such thing with a girl.Admittedly,i do love him maybe out of my heart.i do think it as a romantic lovestory happened in a strange country, after i'm back home, some time passed,it's also a memerable time for my lifetime. But he emailed to me,and tell me he's not a playboy and wanna to know how's the relationship going,if there's possibe to marry a foreignor. In reply to his mail, i express my feeling that i do love him but long distance relationship always not that easy for couples ,esp,for totally different cultures and religion,btw,i'm an antheist,and if two persons find it hard to seperate from each other, marriage maybe the happy ending for them. Afterwards he mailed to me to be sure of his determintation to continue our relationship in spite of his aware for our difficuties. In my part, i just tour Egypt and I think if we r together it's impossible for me to live in Cairo because i 'm used to the enviroment there.And he hasn't a stable salary,although i'm not rich girl,i can only support myself, how we can live without efficient finance nomatter to live in Cairo or China. I do hope some of you may find my dilemma here. From my heart, i do love him and he's the very guy i love at first sight ,it's a little unbelievable for me.From my mind, my rationlity reminds me of many impossible thing between us. To be honest, i'm not a western girl who usually fall passionately in love and sacrifice everything for their love.i do so admire them 'cause i don't have guts.In China, our parent's opioion still means a lot to us, they want us live in comfortable way and well being in a family after marriage.Maybe it's ridiculous for some of you. I grow up in a little open minded family. My dad and mun only wish i could be stable and happy after my marriage.And they want my marriage not at my late tweenties, most of the Chinese parents think this age would be the girl's prime golden age to marry a decent rich guy. so do my parents. But for me it's only a wish.They recently set up a blind date for me and i didn't tell my egyptian guy about it. Yesterday i wrote a long letter to my egyptian to share my little doubts,hopefully wanna ask advice from him. e.g. if it's possible to marry an atheist lady, if he will have 4 wives in future, something stupid questions like these. I'd like to let him to know my worries about our future. the more time we spent and love ,the more heartbroking if we won't make it in the end. What should i do it in the right way? To cut it off right now with him, or just wait to see how it's end.Now, the date my parents set me up isn't my type of husband to be,so i turn him down and i know my present love for my egyptian. I red many articles abour egyptian guy scope love around to make it short way to be a prosperous country's citizen. however,i'm Chinese.I don't think he may foolishly use it as an advantage. i hereby sincerely wanna everyone's advice for me. Thanks!
Posts: 4 | From: China | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
many thanks to Petersome,not only for your compliment but also your advice. Really appreciate it. I 'll figure it out soon.
Posts: 4 | From: China | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
i dont know if he wants to get out of egypt or he is actually in love with you..be carful, egyptian guys (especially those in the touring business) are like wolves, preying on any forigner they can fool to gain something they want.
Posts: 506 | From: Some where on the east coast | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
When you talk about your Chinese citizenship you seem to imply that nothing is to be gained by marrying a Chinese. Perhaps that is correct but I think many people believe China to be a growing and strong country. Perhaps he doesn't know China well.
You have obviously a lot to think about
1)your feelings 2)your parents' feelings 3)his feelings 4)where he is from 5) financial possibilities 6) Where to live if you decide to marry
and so on and so on
You want to pursue a long distance relationship to see if he really is serious?
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Ugh, don't you EVER get tired of trashing your "Ex-husband"? Get over it already, you seem to have moved on to a whole series of new men, why keep going over and over and over your HORRIBLE TERRIBLE NO GOOD ROTTEN VERY BAD MARRIAGE?
For real, give it a rest for a few days, he was your problem, and you ditched him. yes yes we all know the story by heart now.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Tobeloved.... he is a muslim... you are an atheist. Muslims can't marry atheists. Even if he is not a particularly devout muslim (and he's not, if he was having sex with you after 2 days) His family would disown him if he married an atheist. Egyptian men are generally close to their families, and will not be cast out for a woman. Also... as Mommadukes said..... men in tourism are highly unlikely to be faithful.... they get opportunities every day.... from women that will listen to their sweet words and are willing to sleep with them after 2 days. Would you be able to adapt to his lifestyle??? How would you feel if he took a second or third or fourth wife?? In my opinion, I would put it down to a nice experience, and not base the future around this guy.
Posts: 4238 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Never forget that many Egyptian men,a lot, say ï love you¨when they really mean ï like you¨.
Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
You insert your wildly miserable life story and your hatred of your ex husband into every topic. You continue to do so day after day, topic after topic. You've made your point, you were so miserably misused that you can't get over your HATRED of your daughters Father. But your lifestory isn't always relateable to every topic you read. You cant help yourself from making every thread about your miserable marriage and horrible childhood. Haven't you got any new material or new ugly names to call other people? You are repeating yourself and its sort of embarassing to have to read the same thing over and over.
Responding by continuing to call me names only reinforces your need for medical intervention. Or....Just don't talk for a few days, read more than you write and get a feel for the board WITHOUT your grandstanding needs for attention and sympathy. Everyone has read your poor poor pitiful story....what are you going to do next?
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
What is it with the tourleaders?? Sorry to ask that question but my tourleader in Jordan had deep deep crevices and 5 or 6 teeth missing. I want another tourleader next time I book a trip. (just kidding )
Tobeloved: I can't give you any advice... You would not follow it anyway. I think you just have to keep the nice memories and move on in life. Good luck!
Posts: 2932 | From: Just now and then | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
Hmmm...thinking back....my tour guide was definitely not what I am reading about here! He had NO teeth, smelled very very bad and was probably in his 50's...but who knows...with his sun damaged skin...could been younger. Fact was though he was great guide. His wagon he took us around in at the pyramids was creaky and his horse was on the skinny side...but for the most part...he was a good guy. He even took pictures of the two of us together.
But I still wonder where the young handsome devils were.
Posts: 263 | From: Georgia USA | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
moma dukes and the other woman need to stop fighting in every thread.
any ways, all egyptian men are not bad..me for example, i am not a bad person, but i am westernized. i would never use a woman for something. i have alot of respect for women. stay away from that guy tho, he is muslim and u r athiest. he would never marry u
Posts: 506 | From: Some where on the east coast | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
baby i just give it as it comes to me...i never start a fight.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
sweetie she's english ,we say drawers Posts: 3945 | From: ' Res Contr ' Amor non es guirens, lai on sos poders s'atura | Registered: Dec 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Momma Dukes: baby i just give it as it comes to me...i never start a fight.
then dont reply to them. its simple as that. let the haters start **** but dont reply back, ignore them completely, it works and they will get bored and move on to annoy some one else.
Posts: 506 | From: Some where on the east coast | Registered: Jan 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Shooky: any ways, all egyptian men are not bad..me for example, i am not a bad person, but i am westernized. i would never use a woman for something. i have alot of respect for women.
That's good. Of course not all are bad. Just like in each society. But people tend to have some sort of stereotypes in mind; sometimes favourable, sometimes not...
Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
of course not all are bad...but when there are so many horror stories going on about the ones working with the tourists, how cant u wonder.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
My tour guide was a really nice chap- he had a kids toy that made a weird noise to gather the troops in the temples. That was much more fun than just holding up a folder and calling. Anyway, as far as I’m aware, he was a very dedicated husband. I was alone with him for quite some time as there was some temple or whatever on the west bank I didn’t fancy looking in on. So we were sitting in a café, and he showed me pictures of his young kids who were in cairo. No flirting, nothing- but then, maybe I just wasn’t his cup of tea
As for a Muslim marrying an atheist, I’ll keep you posted! Lol. However, make sure he knows exactly what an atheist is (I told Sam very early on, and yet he stayed asked me if I believe in God a few months back). If he says he is fine with it, then show him the passages in the quran that show it is forbidden (better he see them now, then hear about them just before you get married!) It is not something that can get brushed under the carpet. And learn about the quran, read it, study it, learn the history- if nothing else, then it will help you understand him better.
Sleeping with you after only two days is a bit strange- did you not even have an orfi? Obviously there are Egyptians who have premarital sex, but would they then marry the girl? Especially when it had been such a short period of time. Sure, if it was a long committed relationship, where wedding was very much on the cards, and one day they had a slip up… oh well, I don’t know.
Things to look out for: If he asks for ANY of your money. Even if to you it is such a small thing, after all you are very likely earning a lot more, but that is wrong. To us it might sound old fashioned, but to Egyptian men, they see themselves very much as the provider. Remember, you cannot judge him by your culture, you have to judge him by his- so learn everything you can learn about it. A site like this can be quite an eye opener. And as horrible as it is, actively search out the horror stories (that is how I found this site), this will help you know what to look out for, the “red flags”. (Another red flag being if he keeps you secret from friends and family).
I would never recommend a long distance relationship, not unless there was an end in sight, where you two will be together. If you are not willing to make the move, then it will just be ongoing. If you do decide to continue, then visit as much as possible, you might think you love him, but he is still a stranger.
-------------------- Another one.... Posts: 2573 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
First of all,thousands of thxs to all of you sincerely,esp,weirdkitty's reasonable suggestion to me. I did't expect so many replies from all of you. but i really don't want a personal opioion to each of u which is may caused by my problems. As to the premarital sex, i don't want judge it as legal or not.Because in China,it still cause controversy on this topic. Secondly,i had some bad experieces with my ex.so when i carefully take this relationship,i may not that emotionally as b4. After the intimacy thing with him, i did saw it as a romantic affair in exotic country and then back home,i may pretend nothing happened until i received his txt message to wish me safely got home. i totally forsee that he may contact me after i got home and emailed to me to say he's not a playboy and where our relationship's going. This's accidental thing was not in my plan.But i'm not a spontaneous girl and didn't make him misunderstood me as a foreign girl just have one night stand with him for passion.I took my decision to tell him if we know each other well and if we conquer or compromise those impossible difficulties face us, time can tell us, marriage is the final destination for us or not. He accepted this idea and make me believe that he didn't impose me anything until everything is well prepared. That's the reason we still contact everyday till now.It's not in a haste. I've heard of some girls of my acquaintace in tourism industy deliberately get closer to some western tourists who travel in China.They quickly hang out with western guys then marry them to cut it short to be the citizen of their so called husband. All that make it sense that cons schemed things of their own benefits are everywhere no matter you're man or woman. If you have faith in true love, you shouldn't 100 percentage fall in love without a sense. Basiclly love blinds our eyes but not mind. Time can tell the bad from the good ones. Comminications and little details also expose some plots in the dark. We all are aware of these theory. Whether you are cheated by some bad guy, regardless of his nation or ethic, we shall not generized and come to a conclusion to beat them by all means.Just knowing the fact,we all are not perfect and keep an open eye but not a prejudiced attutide to the next one you may fall in love again. Otherwise,you only too shallow to miss the next right guy since you never learn lessons from the last one relationship,only blame that da## bad guy and ignore the things may caused by urself. I'm not a prophet that i can forsee my egyptian may rob all out of my money,cheat my feeling for him in the coming days. He may be in better disguise to blind me everything.All these thing may turn out to be true or not.It depends on time. Luck for me, i discovered this forum and read many worst lovestories from here,you guys replied here to keep me alert all the time.So i have my bottenline here. I do indeed believe in true love that at the very beginning ,i shall not have doubts about my egyptian and admire him as a decent man, for all the thing that a decent man must do,i 'll love him and keep an open eye on him till he does something indecent. I'd like to keep everybody here posted and wait to see if there's happy ending for our long distance relationship.Or if it's still a fairytale i dreamed,learn from this, move on.
Posts: 4 | From: China | Registered: Nov 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Momma Dukes: i mean it doesnt make sense to me why all the islamic countries in the world are damn suffering. wars for thousands of years, hunger, dried up water wells, just the worst...but if you fly like 2 hours to the west to the countries that believe in jesus, they are peaceful and flourishing.
i
Try reading some history books before making comments like that, then answer why so many countries that the West has oocupied then pulled out of, has ended up with a dictator in power that is usually the puppet of the West. Start with Pakistan, probably the worst example of the damage we in the West are responsible for.
But maybe this is not the place in this sweet ladies thread !
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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Yeah, it's a real drag having to ride my camel all the way to the well 2 kilometers away.
Posts: 6335 | From: Straight to my heart. | Registered: Sep 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Momma Dukes: i mean it doesnt make sense to me why all the islamic countries in the world are damn suffering. wars for thousands of years, hunger, dried up water wells, just the worst...but if you fly like 2 hours to the west to the countries that believe in jesus, they are peaceful and flourishing.
i
Try reading some history books before making comments like that, then answer why so many countries that the West has oocupied then pulled out of, has ended up with a dictator in power that is usually the puppet of the West. Start with Pakistan, probably the worst example of the damage we in the West are responsible for.
But maybe this is not the place in this sweet ladies thread !
ur talking about countries that have been suffering since before america was even discovered.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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i mean it doesnt make sense to me why all the islamic countries in the world are damn suffering. wars for thousands of years, hunger, dried up water wells, just the worst...but if you fly like 2 hours to the west to the countries that believe in jesus, they are peaceful and flourishing.
i
Try reading some history books before making comments like that, then answer why so many countries that the West has oocupied then pulled out of, has ended up with a dictator in power that is usually the puppet of the West. Start with Pakistan, probably the worst example of the damage we in the West are responsible for.
But maybe this is not the place in this sweet ladies thread ! [/QB]
Agreed Penny this is hijacking "tobeloved"s thread.
But why is it "the west" when a nation other than the USA does the damage.
Yet when its the USA as the main instigator its deemed the "USA"s fault.
The USA inherited responsibility for most of UK/EU imperial hostilities via the NATO Treaty, grouping the USA into "West"ern blame isn't quite fair.
Oh and Tami there are plenty of Latin American nations that are Christian and are in terrible shape right now and have been since the Italian Christopher columbus landed.
Posts: 107 | Registered: Oct 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Cosmogirl: Teezik Amrah
inti kaman ya gamousa wihish.
and dudes, lighten up...besides EVERY topic hedre gets hijacked. name one thread that sticks to the subject longer than 3 replies.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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i mean it doesnt make sense to me why all the islamic countries in the world are damn suffering. wars for thousands of years, hunger, dried up water wells, just the worst...but if you fly like 2 hours to the west to the countries that believe in jesus, they are peaceful and flourishing.
The entire post has got to be the most idiotic one you have ever written but this is classic!
Ever heard of Africa? heaps of Christians there in civil wars and dying of starvation, I dont call that peaceful and flourishing.
i mean it doesnt make sense to me why all the islamic countries in the world are damn suffering. wars for thousands of years, hunger, dried up water wells, just the worst...but if you fly like 2 hours to the west to the countries that believe in jesus, they are peaceful and flourishing.
The entire post has got to be the most idiotic one you have ever written but this is classic!
Ever heard of Africa? heaps of Christians there in civil wars and dying of starvation, I dont call that peaceful and flourishing.
you dont get the point im making and are so far off i dont even feel like explaining it. im tired lol.
im not talking like geography...im talking things caused by more spiritual and demonic type forces.
forget it. u gotta be stoned to understand.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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i mean it doesnt make sense to me why all the islamic countries in the world are damn suffering. wars for thousands of years, hunger, dried up water wells, just the worst...but if you fly like 2 hours to the west to the countries that believe in jesus, they are peaceful and flourishing.
The entire post has got to be the most idiotic one you have ever written but this is classic!
Ever heard of Africa? heaps of Christians there in civil wars and dying of starvation, I dont call that peaceful and flourishing.
you dont get the point im making and are so far off i dont even feel like explaining it. im tired lol.
im not talking like geography...im talking things caused by more spiritual and demonic type forces.
forget it. u gotta be stoned to understand.
I understand stoned but WTF are YOU stoned on? Seriously there is nothing wrong in mind wandering but that whole post could have been written by an 8 year old! You once said you were Muslim now you're getting all mooney eyed about Jesus and demonic forces! WTF are you on? Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Thread started of a woman asking for help in a relationship. some one comes and starts **** with MD. MD replies back harder, then as usual an argument goes on. and now its about arab countries being **** and usa etc.. seriously if i was an admin i would do something bout it. do not do this in someones thread. it happens in every thread..its redic. Open a thread and name is Momma dukes vs egypt search (any thing goes) and we can have fun there.
-------------------- ... Posts: 506 | From: Some where on the east coast | Registered: Jan 2008
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