posted
One of my old GF's from the bank I used to work for (Wachovia) sent me this. I swear you will never meet the most stupid people in the world until you work as a bank teller and have to deal with them.
50 Things I have learned by being a bank teller
1. I know everyone in the world, so I never need to ask for ID.
2. 'I'll be with you in one moment,' means 'Come right up here into my business and breathe your popcorn breath in my face for a while.' (this is so the truth...i used to get so mad sitting there with some persons breath wafting thru the money slot ... i swear it reeks 10 times worse than normal...customers breath was one of the biggest peeves I had)
3. Every bank in the world steals money from its customers, particularly the ones that don't keep a register.
4. I'm always kidding when I tell people a check is not any good. I'm a good kidder.
5. I know the balance of every account at the bank.
6. I am at the bank just because I feel like it; my window isn't actually open when I say, 'May I help you?'
7. I know everyone's account number.
8. I know everyone's address.
9. I don't understand how banking works.
10. I have to do whatever the person who gave my customer the check said.
11. I don't know how to count.
12. I don't know how to add.
13. I don't know what the date is.
14. I can read everyone's mind.
15. If I ask for your social, Im trying to steal your identity.
16. I know when every new coin will be arriving.
17. I know how much everyones bills are for the month.
18. We dont sell stamps.
19. We are just here for fun on most holidays, were not really open. We love when you rub it in.
20. When someone asks how you want your cash back, you are supposed to tell them after you get your money back.
21. Apparently people have different definitions of commercial.
22. Your time is more important than mine. I have no life. When you show up 5 minutes before we close to make 10 deposits or open a new account, we dont mind.
23. Everyone with the Bank name tag is related.
24. I am also your secretary.
25. We love to place holds on your checks for fun, we are the only bank that does it.
26. 13 hours and 10 minutes is not enough time for people to do their business.
27. I am in charge of the never ending popcorn, smarties, and coffee.
28. It is polite to ignore someone when they say hello.
29. It is my fault when someone cuts you in line. I should have been paying attention to you and not your money.
30. I know what a checkingdepositwithdrawal for savings is.
31. Being rude should make me want to help you more.
32. I am not really human, I should not make mistakes.
33. It is okay to go into someones office when their door is shut.
34. I have a secret collection of licenses in my cubby.
35. I cant hear. I need you to ding the bell 5 times in a row.
36. The sign that says Next Window Please is just for decoration.
37. I make people wait on purpose, its fun to make them mad.
38. I know everyones pin number to their ATM card.
38. Fraud isnt real, I should give customers exactly what they want.
39. The coin machine is my favorite thing to do.
40. The bank gives out free poinsettias at Christmas, we order them for you, not the bank. Display only means whatever you want it to mean.
41. Please and Thank You are forbidden words at the bank. We hate to hear them.
42. Checking and Savings deposit slips are EXACTLY the same, we just like the color pink and wanted to make them more colorful. Marking through the word savings changes the deposit slip completely!
43. When I tell someone the same thing over and over, Im just doing it for fun. I like to waste my breath.
44. We will break the rules for anybody as long as you gripe for more than 10 minutes.
45. I am a professional coin counter. Even when the machine is broken, I will count the coin for you by hand!
46. I am psychic; when you call I can recognize your voice and pull up your information. My computer is voice activated. Its that fancy technology we have.
47. You dont have to tell me that youve been with the bank for 50 years… I can tell.
48. Even after 5 years, I am a new teller to anyone who has never seen me before. If Ive never met you, I have no idea what Im doing.
49. I make the rules for the banking industry. You can blame everything on me!
50. I'm an idiot.
I swear I never hated the human race as badly as I did when I was a teller. Picked up a lot of dates though:) lol
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
Banks and their employees never admit to computer system errors.
In the last week I have had to call my bank 4 times.
In the past over a year ago I hadn't received a paper bank statement in the mail for 2 months. I had not yet enrolled in online banking to "click" the "enroll online statements" option. I fought with the customer service via phone for 3 weeks (5 calls) no one would cop to the fact it was a system error. But the branch manager made a call to IT told me it was my fault then looked at my account. My direct deposits were from an IT consulting firm and I confirmed I was level 3 support. The branch manager called IT again told them my professional title and relayed the fact I had a bachelors in computer science and that I had not created an online account in order to sign up for "online statements" and discontinue receiving paper statements in the mail. At that point in time IT admitted they focked up to the branch manager, and I didn't receive an apology.
Fast word to March 2008, I finally create an online account and do not enroll in the "online statements". Try to log in again in June and I am informed that the system had been upgraded and everyone had to create a new account. So I don't touch the damn thing again because its stupid.
Fast forward to September 2008, I receive my last paper statement in the mail. So this last week I start calling customer service to ask why I don't receive paper statements in the mail.
Stupid me I enrolled in "online statements" back in June, eventhough I hadn't been logged into my online account since March.
Worse yet they can't tell me how this happened but its my fault.
You see when you sign up for "online statements" the very next banking cycle you stop receiving paper statements in the mail. But somehow 6 months had lapsed since I (according to the customer service genius') enrolled in "online statements" before they stopped paper statements in the mail.
I created the system error twice now.
And its because I don't know how to use a computer or the internet though I am level 3 support mainly for web applications/databases and reports generated from web databases.
I just need a high school dropout who spends a majority of her time on either myspace or facebook to tell me I magically enrolled for "online statements" in August 2008 though I hadn't logged into my account since March 2008.
posted
the computer only does what it tells you to do. there isnt a person behind a screen working each account its done by a server.
as far as your banks banking cycle and stuff...its not always one month, ours was 3 months.
if you would have read that schedule of fees and cycle pamplet you got the moment after you signed that paper saying u read and understood all terms, you would probably see where the mistake lies.
and high school dropouts dont work in banks. you have to be a graduate sweety...they wont even take a GED nowadays. also as for facebook and myspace, the terminals behind the teller line have those sites blocked because of spam and the fact that the PC is being used for such sensitive info. when i worked there i couldnt even get onto ES.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Momma Dukes: the computer only does what it tells you to do. there isnt a person behind a screen working each account its done by a server.
as far as your banks banking cycle and stuff...its not always one month, ours was 3 months.
if you would have read that schedule of fees and cycle pamplet you got the moment after you signed that paper saying u read and understood all terms, you would probably see where the mistake lies.
and high school dropouts dont work in banks. you have to be a graduate sweety...they wont even take a GED nowadays. also as for facebook and myspace, the terminals behind the teller line have those sites blocked because of spam and the fact that the PC is being used for such sensitive info. when i worked there i couldnt even get onto ES.
[*] there isnt a person behind a screen working each account its done by a server.
Exactly and the customer service agents have been told to the opposite or to at least insist its the customer's fault every time.
[*] as far as your banks banking cycle and stuff...its not always one month, ours was 3 months.
I was told "statements" were on a monthly basis. Still doesn't explain a 6 month gap.
[*] high school dropouts dont work in banks. you have to be a graduate sweety. the terminals behind the teller line have those sites blocked because of spam and the fact that the PC is being used for such sensitive info.
Actually for this "customer service agent" position via phone not a face to face teller it only requires a GED and 1 yr customer service. I checked the website when I was looking for a DB report developer position almost 7 months ago before I took this job.
Also the phone rep logged into my account during a call so she can reach the internet. But needless to say when they aren't working and are at home their internet use is for entertainment purposes only. College educated folks do more research in their off hours.
when i worked there i couldnt even get onto ES.
This explains the "office of tears" thread and a huge increase of ES activity from you over the last few months. Posts: 107 | Registered: Oct 2008
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posted
Citibank has got to be the biggest joke on earth with their completely inflexible policies, outrageous bank charges, and they seem to have an even stricter policy of exclusively hiring children of long term crack addicts.
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