posted
My fiance's mother and father are separated. Everytime I ask my fiance for details about his father, he is very evasive. He says "Dad doesn't care about us. Why do you need to meet him anyway? Why is it so important to you?" He hasn't really met my father either yet, but is that an excuse for me to not meet his? His father IS part of his life somewhat, and I know how important family is in Islam and in Egypt. Any comments? Should I meet and learn more about his father?
Posts: 28 | From: United States | Registered: Jan 2009
| IP: Logged |
posted
"He hasn't really met my father either yet"
he hasnt met YOU either yet has he?
If his father has left the family then leave it, it may be that he's not involved in your fiance's life anymore so you dont need to meet him. My husbands father left when my husband was 12, we have been married almost 5 years and I have never met him, he is not involved with any of his children and does not come to any weddings.
You say you know how important family is in Islam and Egypt, what you mean is you know how important family is SUPPOSED to be, it doesnt always work the way its supposed to though, certainly not in Egypt.
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I hope you get at least to meet his mother!!
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
It´s still an online relationship,so she has really not met anyone,not even her beau. Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Besides,what if she doesn´t like his smell after sniffing him finally? Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: Besides,what if she doesn´t like his smell after sniffing him finally?
It's sooo easy to go out and sniff another Posts: 3945 | From: ' Res Contr ' Amor non es guirens, lai on sos poders s'atura | Registered: Dec 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
mine will be home soon after a week away with only the Nile to bathe in, good job I have a cold!
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
I see where you are coming from on the other hand he might not know where his father is?
In islam we should advice the brother to get contacted with his father for his own sake if he wishes to enter the jannah.. As Allah will keep him accounted if he dose not try to have a good relation with his father, he needs to focus on his own obligations but some people have the tendency's to have the excuses that their father/mother was a useless parent and that is why they don't care about them or won't have a relation.. Tell him and advice him that what his father did will be asked about on the day of judgement, but so will your fiancées error ( Not trying to have a relation with his dad if that is the case) and 2 wrong dose not make it right..
Maybe there is a serious problem between them so try not to push your fiancée to hard.. Make much dua inshaAllah aslo ..
Take care
Posts: 122 | From: Sweden + Misr | Registered: Oct 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think Modesty is referring to 'brother' as a brother in Islam, as in her fiance should contact his father (not a sibling).
Posts: 8 | Registered: Mar 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Gounagal: I think Modesty is referring to 'brother' as a brother in Islam, as in her fiance should contact his father (not a sibling).
posted
There is a chance, and granted it's probably a small chance, but it HAS happened before, that the fiance knows his father will not approve of his choice for a bride, and so he doesn't want them to meet. I'm not saying that is what is happening, but as I said, it IS possible and it does happen like that sometimes.
Posts: 1283 | From: Cairo | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
there are certain reasons he may not want you to meet him. he may have been a bad father...or maybe even his father is against the marriage and your fiancee doesnt want to tell you this. i am divorced from an egyptian, and he remarried a woman in her 50's (im 29 he is 31) and when he went to egypt last october for the first time in 13 years, his father moved from the family house into a temporary flat because he was appalled at how his son left a young wife and young daughter for some old lady. but thats my situation...i dont know yours. i watched him and his new wife fight over how he wont bring her to egypt even, and when I spoke to his sister on the phone, she told me that his father said, 'dont you bring that woman to my house!' and they still try to convince him to go back to me (like i will let THAT happen!) but then he just may not want you around his dad...you may be suprised to know that there are many egyptian fathers who are kinda crappy, and the sons tend to take to the mother better. with me, i dont like to bring my guy around my mom. she has bipolar kinda bad and truthfully, im embarrased.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by roqayya: My fiance's mother and father are separated. Everytime I ask my fiance for details about his father, he is very evasive. He says "Dad doesn't care about us. Why do you need to meet him anyway? Why is it so important to you?" He hasn't really met my father either yet, but is that an excuse for me to not meet his? His father IS part of his life somewhat, and I know how important family is in Islam and in Egypt. Any comments? Should I meet and learn more about his father?
As far as I know ,he is studying in a private college in Elsherooq or the new suburbs around Cairo,he will not be able to pay the expences of the college(assuming it is a college and not institution)since these are so high for the average Egyptian. And as a protocol in marriage in Egypt,his father should attend
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
| IP: Logged |
posted
Doesn't it concern you that the man you are going to marry is evasive with you about the reasons/history behind why he does not see his father? Marraige should be based on trust and honesty. While I agree with MOdesty that parents always deserve respect and should be treated fairly I also know that some parents can be such a destructive influence that the only chance for happiness is to cut them out of your life.
Posts: 201 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic