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I'm getting through things. Have managed to make a sort of peace with the Mister. He seems to believe that if he stopped seeing his girlfriend, then the whole thing "goes away". "Khalas zis is zah past, donea bring zis back to my mind". But it is still all up in my mind, and he doesn't get a free pass for stopping his affair. He had plenty of opportunity to stop over the past few years.. it shouldn't have taken getting caught. We did spend Valentines Day together and went to a really romantic dinner and he really piled on the gifts. But I won't confuse that moment with reality. And the reality is pretty unattractive.
It doesn't get easier, but I am getting more comfortable with my loss. It was rough because I didn't get to fall out of love, I just got to be confused by his behavior not matching his words. Now..I have love for him, but I am not interested in him as a partner in life. He has a lot vested in the idea of getting me to drop the divorce petition, and speak for him at Immigration. Knowing that makes his newfound loyalty a little easier to understand. He says he never thought about how things would end, he was always just "in the moment". Well.. after several lengthy talks with her, it seems they are "Romeo and Juliet" star crossed lovers who can't be together because of circumstance. I am encouraging him to go back to her, and be her problem. I wish I had never met the dude. And except for the baby, wish I'd never see him on my doorstep again.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Oh I took GREAT care of him anthropos, and now I won't.
You can't do anything to prevent a cheater from cheating. It is what it is, thanks for your feedback.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass.
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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my GF is going thru the same ****. every damn weekend she has some drama going on about he said she said they seen her man with another. last month his ex told a friend that she had sex with him when he came up to see the kids and didnt know that this friend also was friends with my GF. to this day she is stuck between lies and truth. this past weekend, we were playing kings (a drinking card game). he got mad at her because she wouldnt flash her tit, and after she went to bed i crashed on the sofa. i feel a nudge and it was him trying to get me to go to my bed. I walk into the spare room and he has a candle lit on the floor, and lights a cigrette and gives it to me. then he bent down, laid the biggest french kiss on me and i turned my back to him which pissed him off. i told her this sunday.we been friends 23 years and this dude thinks im gonna mess that up for his stupid arab ass? so then monday he was texting me and i sent her everything he wrote. then she writes on her myspace this morning, 'i love my man and we are so in love.' ya, he takes ur money, drives ur car, has overnight visits with baby momma, and tries to bang ur BFF and u still love him. i see him use her left and right. see, men put the blinders on women. they think they can eff up and then shower you with gifts love and promises, all of which btw are not sincere.
cosmo if u take him back, once he gets his card he will be at the same thing again, believe me. men like this will only manipulate you to an unbelievable level and show zero remorse for it.
in my marriage, when i filed divorce years ago, he begged me tooth and nail not to do it. he followed me to the store sat in the lot and said he will be better. i stayed. he obnly stayed nice for so long b4 he began being a prick again. i left again, he was like please stay. the 3rd time was after he got his citizenship. he left me and aleya overnight for the fat old beast down the street whose house burnt down and took her insurance check, despite the times i took him back, he was so quick to drop me and her like we was never anything to him.
they only change when its to their own benefit. these men prey on women in whom they think are desperate and cant get any other man. and they use that against the woman cuz he knows that if he is gone, she will take him back cuz she will get so lonely and hold onto any man she can. my ex took me like that cuz i was a young virgin, and when he found out that i can have a guy easily and i can make my own decisions and will fight to do so, he went crazy on me. ya he got his citizenship thru me, but boy did i make him suffer for it loooool
do the same. dont go back either,,,,just keep it in ur head that if u didnt catch him, he would be with that biatch this second. he is a big liar. dont believe his valentines day BS. cuz u know if u didnt catch him, he would have spent it with HER.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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Oh MD, he took off after a shave on Friday night and stayed gone. I know he went for a little Valentines love, and I haven't even said a word, and I haven't even imagined him back in my body. But I have used this time to try to restore my dignity in all of this. We are still on the outs, but Im at the point where I no longer CARE so much about the game.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Cosmo, are you letting him live in your house?
-------------------- "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." (Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton) Leap and the Net will Appear. Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
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cosmo, you sound like you need a break - a break for yourself, get your head clear - your mind is going to be messed up and fuzzy for a while, and it really is a day at a time, and you question every decsion, is the right one ectc, the problem with decision making is that you dont really know if it was the right one is afterwards, its not certainly not easy but you're an intelligent woman, you'll find your path
do whats right for YOU, what YOU want from this life
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of gold. No. BUt he has stayed on the sofa more than once, and seriously seems to think he will be invited to slide right back in my life. Dawn, you are RIGHT about every decision feeling wonky. I am no-where near even thinking about a relationship, much less with HIM, but I am letting go of bitterness and anger at the both of them, because well the affair had nothing to do with ME. So why punish myself further? No answer will make it go away. No question I can ask will undo it. He is FULL of apology and remorse, but his immigration is tied into it, and he still hasn't found an apartment (since november). So I know he is waiting and wanting to use me again. He has confessed to cheating since day 1, and well... confessing it doesn't mean you get a free pass for it.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Sounds like you have your head together Cosmo. I'm sure you will be just fine.
-------------------- "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." (Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton) Leap and the Net will Appear. Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Cosmogirl: Oh MD, he took off after a shave on Friday night and stayed gone. I know he went for a little Valentines love, and I haven't even said a word, and I haven't even imagined him back in my body. But I have used this time to try to restore my dignity in all of this. We are still on the outs, but Im at the point where I no longer CARE so much about the game.
OMG is he for effing REAL??!! Like does he really think that you don't know? He cannot seriously be that stupid.
But you know what, as much as you say you dont care, I know it still put that f*cked up feeling in your stomach that night. Ugh, I hope you hit him. Like for real, its at that point now where you need to start knockin his teeth loose. Dude stays out at night and when he walks in the door the next day pull his hair and slap him like that whore he is. You know how many times I beat the **** outta my ex for lying to me and messing with other girls? Did it right in front of his friends too...stupid ass Yahya was laughing holding me back (and trying to cop a feel of my boobs probably) and I threw that guy to the side and my ex got so scared he actually lept from the back window.
Tear him a new face, cuz you know if it was the other way around your ass would be smeared all over the walls.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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There comes a point in your life when you realize: Who matters, Who never did, Who won't anymore... And who always will.. So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future..
Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
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My advice (for what it's worth ) Is to try and place yourself far away from this guy. I know you are strong but in times like these we are also vunerable. I am sure you said before you were working (right?) and i know you have a young baby - which is stressful enough. Maybe, just maybe there is a day when you are not feeling on 'top form' and his sweet words are hard to resist, maybe? Surely talking to his woman is hard on you? Why put yourself through that pain? Arrange for visits with your son through somebody else and just refuse to see him. I know that would be hard but i am sure in the long run it would be better for your heart and your sanity!
Truly wish you well Posts: 895 | Registered: Sep 2007
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-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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Honestly Cosmo you are torturing yourself. He got you wrapped around his little finger and he knows it. Personally I could not share a place with such individual who hurt and betrayed me so bad.
But hey good luck to you and that everything works itself out, I am hoping you two will not live anymore together and you can make a fresh start without this man asap. You don't need this crap seriously!!
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Cosmo you are very brave. Difficult when there are children but you know in your heart what is the right thing to do, leopard never changes its spots. Good luck
-------------------- Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. Posts: 564 | From: planet earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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When is the I-751 window opening? I'm just wondering how long he'll stick around.
Posts: 214 | From: Cairo | Registered: Mar 2006
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MD, I actually went after him with a cast iron stove griddle. He threw up an arm and caught a full ON Babe Ruth "to the bleachers" hit to the forearm. Thank God because I might have killed him. That was the 22nd, the day he confessed. ON Dec 25 (yes Christmas) he spent the night in jail for Domestic Assault. From restraining me when I was going Godzilla on his gf's gifts. Had I been smart I'd have left him there with her. But some frenching part of me had to WIN. Im mean and smart. ExPat, he has to be in there before August 4. If he hires a good smart lawyer he might be able to pull it off and admit his terrible record, the charges he was accused of in the Divorce (filed 01/07/09)((one day after I FINALLY found her name and address and phone number.)) I'm not sleeping on this ****. We already had a Child Support hearing, and that is settled. He moons around asking me to "take out zis deevorce". Because we both know why..I don't answer, and he doesn't push. Bunny, the conversations with her haven't continued, and the "Save an Arab" leauge has stopped calling me. But those two calls had an unusual effect. I feel sorry for her, she was content to be number 2 to a woman he was unflatering about (me). She put him in front of her kids and family as a boyfriend! She is suffereing as well, but for other reasons based on the same guy. I feel that they are still contacting each other, but truly have taught myself not to care. Hearing her confession, and telling her exactly how hurt I was and told her she was a party to ALL of it. Knowingly. MD I listen to that Kanye song "Heartless" and it applies to their situation 100%. Satan dangled a huge prize in his eyes, if only he would beray his vows and family. That he chose to play the game and lost, is where that sparkly diamond was revealed to be sawdust and water. If you are man enough to gamble, you are man enough to lose. Im not always strong, and I do enjoy his company, he just sucks. HA
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Cosmogirl-Wish you best of luck hun for your future happiness and that of your child. Life does get rosier again, believe me I understand that kind of deception. My ex was doing it with my best friend!! I survived and came out a stronger person for it. You will too with time. Your voice echoes everything I said about enjoying his company, I used that as my comfort zone, fooling myself. The only way to move forward is to let go completely. Best of luck. x
Posts: 547 | From: uk | Registered: Jun 2008
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cosmo after u fight the deamons in yr life i am sure u and yr child will do fine.. its all still new and fresh but in time it gets easier trust me... yr still young.. time will go by fast and in yr heart u will make the right descison for u and yr child.... right now it all seems to be falling apart just hold yr head hiigh and never settle for second best....u deserve someone who loves u and only u not the others around u....
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Cosmo.... same as sherribaby... my ex husband was humpimg my best friend for 2 years behind my back.... The minute I found out I threw his ass out... and never regretted it for a moment!!! Kick his ass to the kerb.... let him sort his own greencard out.... it's not your problem any more!!!
Posts: 4238 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by unsure: Are u for real anthropos 2.0?
Yes actually I am for real about this. Cosmogirl always tried to show herself as the perfect mother, perfect wife and perfect career woman here on ES. Giving us intimate details on her home life, describing how her life was wonderful while she belittled others, especially M.D. Now we know that all her stories were just as much fantasies as M.D.īs. Pathetic.
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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anthro, I disagree about how I put my life out there. I do have a GREAT career that I love, and kids that are AMAZING, and my marriage was.. in moments a beautiful thing.
Do you come from a place where dirty laundry is the first thing you see? I feel sorry for you. I kept my personal business to myself, and well.. you are a prime example of why. Unfortunately my marital dilemma was THRUST upon me at Christmas time, and as a part of my processing that, I brought it to ES, where my friends are. This is the most "intimate detail" of my life I've ever stated.
I don't think it fair to say I belittled anyone, but I do know that I don't care for showboating and promiscuity.
I was a good chaste wife, I am a productive and upwardly mobile professional woman, I am A GREAT Mother. So.. check your mirror.. you sound JEALOUS. Sometimes "feeling like an adult" feels like someone took a crap in your hand. I'm washing it off. And I'm forgiving your rudeness because you really haven't got a bit of insight into who and how I am.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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I am not jealous. I saw through you from the get go.
Yes **** happens, and it happens suddenly. Just remember in the future not to criticize others so much. Who knows what will be thrust on you as you write.
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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Only perfect people can criticize??? Or what are you saying anthropos? There are no perfect or even nearly perfect people so let's just all stop criticizing shall we? Posts: 758 | From: Finland | Registered: Jun 2006
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And I'm forgiving your rudeness because you really haven't got a bit of insight into who and how I am.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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One thing I am curious about. How do you think about the possibility to step into a new relationship with an Egyptian again? (Not that I have one available ) Is it a thing as 'Once but never again' or more like 'Egyptians remain tempting to me'?
-------------------- Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there. Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I don't think many people actively seek a nationality CG... I think if they did then there is clearly an ulterior motive.
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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i really dont care what any one says.. if they say they have a perfect life they are liers.....noone has a perfect life... we all have to play the hand that was givin to us...all u can do is live yr own life and if u wanna be judged by others come to es.....obviously i dont care what people think of my life its mine and mine alone....but its nice to share things with people u like... right cg......good luck in what ever decision u choose,,,
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by anthropos 2.0: sure she will be with an Egyptian again. I see a new Momma Dukes in the making
hay many women and arabic men will tell u that once u go arab u never go back. im picky and demanding on what i want and these guys have it. but my reasons arent all about the men...its the culture im after mainly. im very passionate artistic and openminded and i like to be part of something sincere and u cant find a close knit amazing culture like arabs have. america just feels so boring and empty to me. there is no real culture here, just whatever people bring with them for themself from wherever country they moved here from.
i seek for an eastern lifestyle simply because it feeds my needs. i not only like arabic hough, im also very fond with india as well. i had indian lovers, granted they arent better than arabic, but the culture is beautiful just the same. the man part of it for me comes last.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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quote:Originally posted by anthropos 2.0: sure she will be with an Egyptian again. I see a new Momma Dukes in the making
now you are doing exacty what you claimed Cosmo did, that is very mean spirited MD took it in her stride, I see your point however, MD is so over it, I gave MD carrots as well which I felt bad about, so lets try to be nice to people and not kick em when they are down everyone makes mistakes, forgiveness is a clue, how the world would be if we forgive the ones who hurt us, that is a mark of a true geniune person
Posts: 564 | From: planet earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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quote:Originally posted by *****: so lets try to be nice to people and not kick em when they are down everyone makes mistakes, forgiveness is a clue, how the world would be if we forgive the ones who hurt us, that is a mark of a true geniune person
Agreed 100%.
Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by anthropos 2.0: sure she will be with an Egyptian again. I see a new Momma Dukes in the making
hay many women and arabic men will tell u that once u go arab u never go back. im picky and demanding on what i want and these guys have it. but my reasons arent all about the men...its the culture im after mainly. im very passionate artistic and openminded and i like to be part of something sincere and u cant find a close knit amazing culture like arabs have. america just feels so boring and empty to me. there is no real culture here, just whatever people bring with them for themself from wherever country they moved here from.
i seek for an eastern lifestyle simply because it feeds my needs. i not only like arabic hough, im also very fond with india as well. i had indian lovers, granted they arent better than arabic, but the culture is beautiful just the same. the man part of it for me comes last.
Seriously everytime you picked an Arab guy you got burned. Try an Italian or some African and see the difference! This world is full of handsome men!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by unsure: Are u for real anthropos 2.0?
Yes actually I am for real about this. Cosmogirl always tried to show herself as the perfect mother, perfect wife and perfect career woman here on ES. Giving us intimate details on her home life, describing how her life was wonderful while she belittled others, especially M.D. Now we know that all her stories were just as much fantasies as M.D.īs. Pathetic.
says the woman who comes on ES time and again to write about all her relationship problems with her egyptian boyfriend, then her husband, describing in detail all his faults...and tops it all of with vividly describing his emotional and physical abuse.
quote:Originally posted by Cosmogirl: Amy you suck, and I mean that in the most "rubber hose - golf ball" sucking kind of way.
??? I didn't go after K because he was Egyptian. I didn't actively seek a nationality.
It's not about nationality. I think you understand what I mean, but I will put it clearer: A certain number of women on this board has had one or more relationships with Egyptians ( or Arabic) men. All these relationships failed. Not because all these men are bad, but because it was a wrong choice, and unlucky combination, too much differences, and many more reasons. Nevertheless they all fell for another Arabic/Egy man again. This can mean a thousand things, it can be because of the man, or the woman, or both, but it never seems a once but never again expierence. So, it wasn't that bad or the advantages are bigger as the disadvantages, I don't get it yet. Maybe you can add a contribution?
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I think she answered by saying she didn't choose to be with an Egyptian. Not everyone here is a serial Egyptian dater Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by unsure: Are u for real anthropos 2.0?
Yes actually I am for real about this. Cosmogirl always tried to show herself as the perfect mother, perfect wife and perfect career woman here on ES. Giving us intimate details on her home life, describing how her life was wonderful while she belittled others, especially M.D. Now we know that all her stories were just as much fantasies as M.D.īs. Pathetic.
says the woman who comes on ES time and again to write about all her relationship problems with her egyptian boyfriend, then her husband, describing in detail all his faults...and tops it all of with vividly describing his emotional and physical abuse.
glass houses, stones, anyone?
the point is that people who aren't perfect, and nobody is perfect, shouldn't bully other people. Cosmogirl bullied Momma Dukes for months, calling her white trash whore and whatnot. And all the time her life wasn't all so peachy as she made it out to be. At least I have never pretended my life is perfect.
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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i dont like walid cas he is egyptian... hell if he was black, white .indian i would like him the exact same.... he has a huge heart and hes so sweet that what i look for in a man not their nationality.. being a sexy egyptian is a plus.. which i never in my life thought i would fall for a middle eastern man.. heheh my dad is probably turning in his grave.... well to each is their own may u be happy who ever yr with...
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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What I saw was to be honest both having a go at each other. Now they have buried the hatchet so you need to let things go.
Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by young at heart: I think she answered by saying she didn't choose to be with an Egyptian. Not everyone here is a serial Egyptian dater
You make it feel like a disease, and I don't want to do that. Let's name it preferances. It isn't unusual to have a preferance for mediterrean types, the looks, the talks. Or for a certain behaviour.So why couldn't there be something universal in Arabic men, that works attractive because it's different? My husbands friend is Greec. He has worked in the touristbusiness untill he was 40 or 45. If I have to believe his stories he has had thousands on women, all nationalities. (He can predict succes in a few seconds, based on the bodylanguage from the woman.Sounds unbelievable, but the man all say it's true.) Anyway, indeed he can be charming, when he likes something from another. I observed him, and indeed his behaviour can be different, then. Like the male bird is doing to the female birds, wooing. So, superficial it is different, the goal is the same. Maybe their way is attracting?
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I am sure you said before you were working (right?) and i know you have a young baby - which is stressful enough. Maybe, just maybe there is a day when you are not feeling on 'top form' and his sweet words are hard to resist, maybe? ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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