posted
Dear All, Please help, just met a girl yesterday who came to Egypt a year ago and met a tour guide in Luxor, fell in love and will get married next month. She is now living in Cairo and starting to prepare for the marriage. I am very worried about this as she 1) knows nothing about Egypt/Arabic/Middle East 2) is very young 3) he won't let her meet his mom or dad (i think this is a HUGE warning sign that something is wrong) . . . he says it will be better for them to meet after the marriage (WHAT??!) 4) she wants to go back to the US with him but he says he wants to stay in Egypt (no idea what he really wants . . . ) 5) she has no friends in Egypt to help check out if he is decent (other than me now I guess . . . . ) 6) a friend of mine first met her and says she gets very defensive when she is questioned "are you sure he's not already married?" etc etc saying that he is honest and they are in love etc etc
I am not saying that this marriage is certain not to work but I think she needs to be more careful. I have only just met her and not sure what I should do, should I try to intervene?? Please this is NOT a joke, I am 100% serious about this and I am very nervous as I don't know if I should try to help her or my friends tell me that it is not my problem and I don't know the girl so I should just forget it . . .
I really don't know what to do, please give me your advice.
Posts: 13 | From: cairo | Registered: Feb 2009
| IP: Logged |
posted
People learn by their own mistakes in life, there is nothing you can do except let her know you are there if she needs any help.
I think I would point out that not meeting his family before the marriage is totally against the culture and leave it at that.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
thank you penny for your advice. yes, at this point this is mainly what i think i will do and see where it goes from there. i certainly don't want her to think that i am trying to push her to do something against her will. i will just make sure to let her know that she does have a friend here if she needs any help. i am 1/2 egyptian but from the US so hopefully she will be able to relate to me.
thanks again, and please if anyone else has any advice i would be very happy to hear your opinion.
Posts: 13 | From: cairo | Registered: Feb 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Penny: People learn by their own mistakes in life, there is nothing you can do except let her know you are there if she needs any help.
I think I would point out that not meeting his family before the marriage is totally against the culture and leave it at that.
you are so right penny when i met my husband , he couldn't wait for the family to meet me.that is a BIG warning right there Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
You are saying you met her just yesterday, so you don't know much about her. Was she alone, or was her coming husband with her? If yes, what was your impression about him?
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I also have to agree with Penny. It's useless to try to talk sense into people as they get all defensive. All you can do is offer her some tips on the life and culture in Egypt and if you want to stay in contact with her ask her to contact you if she has more questions or is perhaps in need.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
no, i have not met him . . . he is living in Luxor, she is in Cairo for the time being.
Posts: 13 | From: cairo | Registered: Feb 2009
| IP: Logged |
posted
Strange, what is a young woman doing living in Cairo, all alone, while her coming husband is in Luxor?
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Why don't you let her make her own mistakes and be there as a friend IF it all turns to crap.
Maybe she gets defensive as she is just fed up that people are always being so negative!
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by ?????: Strange, what is a young woman doing living in Cairo, all alone, while her coming husband is in Luxor?
????? ... That was my first thought. If she wanted to be with him.... wouldn't she at least be in Luxor?? If HE wants her to be in Cairo... that's also another warning sign... to keep him away from his "real" life!! And... as Micky so truly said..... an Egyptian guy would be really wanting to show you off to his family, unless he has something to hide!! Big neon warning signs are flashing all over the place!!!!
Posts: 4238 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Not just Egyptian. I think not introducing you to his parents would be a red flag in most any society.
-------------------- "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." (Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton) Leap and the Net will Appear. Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Some women basically accept any crap because they rather wanna believe they found the ultimate love. Sad but true..... and the waking up will be very rough.
I hope this girl will not become pregnant straight away after marriage.... Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
I don't really know the girl so I'm not sure why she is living in Cairo but she did find some kind of a small job here so that might be why, I'm not sure how easy it is to find a job in Luxor.
Anyhow, I am very worried as she is very young and naive (seeming) and probably very overwhelmed being in Egypt for the first time (I know I was for the first year or so) and IF the guy turns out to be up to no good (HOPEFULLY this is not the case) she will be in a very bad position as she is in a foreign country where she has no family, no friends, does not understand the language, the culture, etc (at this point she has been here only for a month or less).
And, from the sound of the story seems that there is something strange.
Anyhow, thanks again. I guess we will have to wait and see how things progress & hope for the best for her.
Posts: 13 | From: cairo | Registered: Feb 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Penny: People learn by their own mistakes in life, there is nothing you can do except let her know you are there if she needs any help.
I think I would point out that not meeting his family before the marriage is totally against the culture and leave it at that.
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic