posted
My daughter's fiancee has described their upcoming wedding ceremony at the Masjid. He says the men will be down in the main area and the women will be observing from the balcony. A man will bring her the contract to sign and take it back down to the men. She would like to be more involved in the ceremony. Is this typical?
Posts: 66 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2009
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i was told that we the mothers are more involved. cas we are suppose to say somethin for the daughter or somethin like that...
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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It's not like those that I've seen. We just went to a wedding last weekend and everyone sat together, men and women alike, in the Mosque. Lots of people, again men and women alike, gathered around the couple while they signed the papers.
Maybe I just haven't seen the type of marriage he's talking about. But then isn't this the guy who says women don't go to the Mosque to pray?
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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What I've seen also was women, men and children mixed. There was no balcony! How should your daughter like it?
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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Only ever seen mixed weddings. She should have the wedding she wants. There was some beautiful videos here of Dubai girl's wedding recently not sure if you can still access the videos. Has anyone got the link ?
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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But, when sitting on the balcony she will have a nice view ánd will be able to spit on the mens heads secretly... Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Questionmarks: But, when sitting on the balcony she will have a nice view ánd will be able to spit on the mens heads secretly...
It is common for the men and women to attend the mosque for the Katb ik Kitab (contract singing) together. It is also the norm for the entire family and invited guests to attend.
In our case, we had a Sheikh (maazoon) who makes housecalls come to our house and do the contract signing there. We had men and women in attendance.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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Well,,Yes this wedding style do exist and mostly its common between religious families and it usually be on that way where men and women are separated like hall for men and another one for women and mostly they do play an islamic songs about marriage and in some weddings they bring a preacher to preach about the benifits of wedding etc..And it be like big banquet after registering the marriage and the preaching lesson
However,,It be usually no harm in that style of wedding parties if both sides are wanting it to be like that,,So since it seem that your daughter do mind it or feel uncomfortable about it so the best thing to do IMHO is to tell her man CLEARLY about it because it would be as sign that both of them might be on different religious degrees of appyling things,,So if this is not sorted out before going in any kind of serious steps I believe it would really make BIG BIG BIIIIIIIG problems after marriage even if both have no bad intentions but it would still be a great mess.
May Allah make you and your daughter always happy and make things easy for you.
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Did anyone read Carmen Bin Laden's book? She writes about sitting in the parked car outside waiting for someone to bring her the marriage paper to sign. She signed it and they brought it back in leaving her waiting in the car. If I remember correctly she was referring to the civil part of the marriage and not the mosque. But it's been a long time since I read it.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by The Ministry of Common Sense: Did anyone read Carmen Bin Laden's book? She writes about sitting in the parked car outside waiting for someone to bring her the marriage paper to sign. She signed it and they brought it back in leaving her waiting in the car. If I remember correctly she was referring to the civil part of the marriage and not the mosque. But it's been a long time since I read it.
if she could'nt read Arabic she could have been marrying anybody!!
Posts: 3945 | From: ' Res Contr ' Amor non es guirens, lai on sos poders s'atura | Registered: Dec 2007
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quote:Originally posted by The Ministry of Common Sense: Did anyone read Carmen Bin Laden's book? She writes about sitting in the parked car outside waiting for someone to bring her the marriage paper to sign. She signed it and they brought it back in leaving her waiting in the car. If I remember correctly she was referring to the civil part of the marriage and not the mosque. But it's been a long time since I read it.
if she could'nt read Arabic she could have been marrying anybody!!
She couldn't read Arabic. She said she had practiced signing her name in Arabic for the purpose of signing that document.
But that "absent wife wedding" could go both ways. The guy bringing the paper outside could have brought it to the wrong car and found some other woman sitting inside and had her sign the paper. He could have found himself married to the wrong woman Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by The Ministry of Common Sense: Did anyone read Carmen Bin Laden's book? She writes about sitting in the parked car outside waiting for someone to bring her the marriage paper to sign. She signed it and they brought it back in leaving her waiting in the car. If I remember correctly she was referring to the civil part of the marriage and not the mosque. But it's been a long time since I read it.
I ordered this one a few days ago,but just saw she had a previous one.
quote:Originally posted by Egyptmom: My daughter's fiancee has described their upcoming wedding ceremony at the Masjid. He says the men will be down in the main area and the women will be observing from the balcony. A man will bring her the contract to sign and take it back down to the men. She would like to be more involved in the ceremony. Is this typical?
Egyptmom mentioned contract signing. Many people on this thread are talking about wedding party? But I thought this was about a ceremony for signing the marriage contract? And wedding party is not normally the same time.
But as for the wedding party (you see held on the streets), in Upper Egypt it is normal that men are dancing etc. and women are somewhere little further watching what's happening (like on balconies).
But I've never participated a local marriage contract signing so I don't know how it is like.
Posts: 758 | From: Finland | Registered: Jun 2006
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No, I mean also contract-signing....in the mosque, and it was for about the same as a civil marriage in my country. The bride and the groom, and the witnesses were sitting in front, behind a desk, and then there was that man from the mosque. Signing, congratulations, and that's it. I have been to a local marriage, even with the contract negotiations. The negotiations took some time, and in between the negotiations the families prepared the appartment, just like the family of the bride demanded; refrigerator, furniture, etc. At the end it nearly went wrong, because one of the two families changed their mind and asked more as they agreed for. That wasn't exactly appreciated by the other family and the marriage was postponed, which was a kind of disgrace. After a big noisy meetup the families decided to leave it up to the bride and the groom and after a few weeks, they married as planned; first the ceremony in the mosque, after a few days the feast. The day after that feast the families visited the bride and groom in the morning, to hear if everything went as planned. ( in bed) When it was all okay, then the mission was completed. So, it's normal to have the mother of the bride around, to see if her daughter needs any advices, and BEFORE the ceremonies the families have to negotiate about the practical part: housing, furniture, contract, money etc. When the bride has no fathe, an uncle has been asked, because it is too much for only one mother. I don't know how this mother wants to deal with this, it looks like she wants to follow the countries customs, and that is going to be a hard one, of course. You can find a kind of a middle-way but still it will be hard. And I think you have to take care, because we, as western people, do not know enough about the importances in wedding-contracts.
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whether it is a contract signing or a wedding he and she can attend in the same place in the mosque. people who do these things are more conservative and more jealous no big deal. if he is going to sigh the contract(Katb Elketab) in a well known place in Cairo(such as Al-Abbasya mosque) there will be no balcony. and As I am Egyptian i did not heard about this before,i know that women gather in another room not in a balcony!!??
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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I forgot to say someting. Since the girl converted to islam,she can not marry herself,there must be someone (some male one)who comes and be her Walli( Al-Walli is Someone who is responsible for the girl such as her father ,uncle,...) this is of course assuming the girl never married before ,if she married before she can sigh the contract. Sorry to say that but this is how it must be. Make sure that ur girl not to be tricked and ask about it. go to Al-Awqaf site and ask the Mofty(i can do it for u if u would)
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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quote:Originally posted by ** Ahmad**: I forgot to say someting. Since the girl converted to islam,she can not marry herself,there must be someone (some male one)who comes and be her Walli( Al-Walli is Someone who is responsible for the girl such as her father ,uncle,...) this is of course assuming the girl never married before ,if she married before she can sigh the contract. Sorry to say that but this is how it must be. Make sure that ur girl not to be tricked and ask about it. go to Al-Awqaf site and ask the Mofty(i can do it for u if u would)
Thank you Ahmad - my daughter will just have me there on her side - no male relative. It is my understanding another male can serve as her Al-Walli. I don't understand what you mean about the Al-Awqaf site and asking the Mofty?
Posts: 66 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2009
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Another male can be here wali. I didn't have a male relative and an Egyptian THAT I TRUSTED did it for me.
Remember, the contract is in Arabic and your daughter won't know what she's signing because she doesn't read Arabic.
So do I understand this correctly and they're going to get married and she's going to live here? Who's money for the fiance visa did they flush down the toilet?
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by ** Ahmad**: I forgot to say someting. Since the girl converted to islam,she can not marry herself,there must be someone (some male one)who comes and be her Walli( Al-Walli is Someone who is responsible for the girl such as her father ,uncle,...) this is of course assuming the girl never married before ,if she married before she can sigh the contract. Sorry to say that but this is how it must be. Make sure that ur girl not to be tricked and ask about it. go to Al-Awqaf site and ask the Mofty(i can do it for u if u would)
Thank you Ahmad - my daughter will just have me there on her side - no male relative. It is my understanding another male can serve as her Al-Walli. I don't understand what you mean about the Al-Awqaf site and asking the Mofty?
quote:Originally posted by ** Ahmad**: I forgot to say someting. Since the girl converted to islam,she can not marry herself,there must be someone (some male one)who comes and be her Walli( Al-Walli is Someone who is responsible for the girl such as her father ,uncle,...) this is of course assuming the girl never married before ,if she married before she can sigh the contract. Sorry to say that but this is how it must be. Make sure that ur girl not to be tricked and ask about it. go to Al-Awqaf site and ask the Mofty(i can do it for u if u would)
Thank you Ahmad - my daughter will just have me there on her side - no male relative. It is my understanding another male can serve as her Al-Walli. I don't understand what you mean about the Al-Awqaf site and asking the Mofty?
In Islam ,Woman can not marry by themselves . Some MALE one has to sign the contract.The woman gives her permission to her WALLI to sign the contract.It is like a protocol. This Walli must be of her relatives(father ,uncle,..or anybody who is responsible for the girl) But it is not permitted for Female to sign by themselves the contract. But I'm not so sure about your situation. And I think you should get Fatwa form The Al-Mofty(He is the biggest authority in this country which people ask him if there confusion about something) her is the link
then u click on Fatwa Request(in the bottom of the page beside About US) (in case u did not find it her is the link http://www.dar-alifta.org/FatwaRequest.aspx but the above link will probably get u to the arabic page,so I recommend u use the english link and proceed)
then u will be given a form ,complete the form and they will get touch with u.Just give it a day or may be in the same day taking into account the time difference,and Friday is vaccation and saturday may also be in vaccation)
Your question should be whether u can marry ur dauther without the permission of her any Walli.
I can ask for u if u r afraid of not being able to use the right words and I will post u the reply.
Again ur situation is very odd ,and u must get the answer before making any steps. Hope this helps Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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Remeber You Must Ask(Again MUST )or the marriage will not be vaild(the ministry of justice may refuse to admit the marriage)and ur daughter will have no rights in Egypt.(and BTW ,this will be disaster as courts will refuse to even look at ur case). sorry for this tune of pessimism but marriage in Arab countries must be done correcty,or ur rights will be lost.some cases lasts in courts for 12 years without solution.
sorry again for this tune of pessimism Make sure you make the right steps.
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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quote:Originally posted by ** Ahmad**: [QUOTE]In Islam ,Woman can not marry by themselves . Some MALE one has to sign the contract.The woman gives her permission to her WALLI to sign the contract.It is like a protocol. This Walli must be of her relatives(father ,uncle,..or anybody who is responsible for the girl) But it is not permitted for Female to sign by themselves the contract.
Ahmad: Does this apply (having a Walli) only to a girl if she is under 21 years old? Or is it for any woman if it is her first marriage? What about in the case where a Muslim man marries a Christian woman?
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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A Muslim man/Christian woman marriage has to be, by law, an Islamic marriage; agreeing to it is part of the civil ceremony.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by stayingput: A Muslim man/Christian woman marriage has to be, by law, an Islamic marriage; agreeing to it is part of the civil ceremony.
Yeah I understand that...I actually was wondering about the Walli if the woman is Christian. Does she still have to have one? Is this just an Islamic protocol or protocol of Egyptian law?
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by ** Ahmad**: Since the girl converted to islam,she can not marry herself,there must be someone (some male one)who comes and be her Walli( Al-Walli is Someone who is responsible for the girl such as her father ,uncle,...) this is of course assuming the girl never married before ,if she married before she can sigh the contract. Sorry to say that but this is how it must be.
According to the Hanafi school of jurisprudence, marriage is valid without a wali.
Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
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quote:Originally posted by The Ministry of Common Sense:
quote:Originally posted by stayingput: A Muslim man/Christian woman marriage has to be, by law, an Islamic marriage; agreeing to it is part of the civil ceremony.
Yeah I understand that...I actually was wondering about the Walli if the woman is Christian. Does she still have to have one? Is this just an Islamic protocol or protocol of Egyptian law?
Because it has to be an Islamic marriage, it has to fulfill the requirements of Islam. I had to have a wali because I had never been married before. I think, technically, the requirement is that a virgin must have a wali and because everyone in Egypt who hasn't been married before is a virgin (cough, cough), this how it's applied.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by stayingput: [QUOTE]Because it has to be an Islamic marriage, it has to fulfill the requirements of Islam. I had to have a wali because I had never been married before. I think, technically, the requirement is that a virgin must have a wali and because everyone in Egypt who hasn't been married before is a virgin (cough, cough), this how it's applied.
Thanks...just wondering. I was married before, so I didn't have one. That's why I don't know too much about that part.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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Well,,I dunno if Egyptmom was talking specifically about the wedding party or signing the marriage contract,,What made me thought its about the wedding party(ceremony) as she said in the first post-and signing conrtact process will be within it-because of the talking about balconies since I didnt hear/see before that there are balconies in mosques in Egypt but halls which are only for siging marriage's contracts and usually men and women got mixed in that process but women in that are with their hijabs or niqabs or whatever,,So it made me think the talk is about he plans to make the ceremony in their family home as it used to be in some areas while the women and men will be separated but the women can watch what is happening from the balconies but as well staying freely in their place playing music dancing dressing glamorous,putting make up,,etc...while signing the contract will be in home as well.
However if its talking about signing the contract there is no such thing like signing marriage conract between Egyptian and foreigner through Ma'zon or that sheikh who is allowed ONLY for signing the contracts between egyptians and egyptians,,Because from the legal point of view and according the egyptian law the Maz'oun is not allowed to register the marriage contract between egyptian side and foreigner side since the marriage between them have to be done at the Ministry of Justice to be legally recognized..Yes the islamic ceremony could be done and be okay from islamic point of view such as orfi conracts if its announced to everyone but still not legally recognized cause the MOJ is not involved in it.
P.S. The Walli role is ALL about putting his hand with the groom and announcing the marriage's phrases which be dictated to him by the Ma'zoun(sheikh),,that is what the protocol about but whatever if the bride is virgin or not young or not egyptian or not,,she will still MUST sign on the contract by her OWN hand even if there was a walli,,That what make the Maa'zoun register the marriage and make sure that there not anyone came to claim that the bride asked him to be her walli and sign instead of her,,The marriage contract has to got her sign by her hand and the Maz'oun suppose to ask her as well if she agrees or not on the marriage.
As far as I know the marriage contract must has the groom and the bride pictures as well as their own signs and their finger prints.
Posts: 712 | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Dzosser: nope the wedding ceremony
But it wouldn't be if they wait for fiance visa and get married in the States when he finishes school. Even if they went back to Egypt after getting married in States it would still be easier.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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It contains many stories of young girls who moved overseas for marriage. I'm not telling you this to discourage her or make her change her mind - but she should read this book before getting married and moving to Egypt.
It contains many stories of young girls who moved overseas for marriage. Chapter 14 is about an American girl from Rural South Dakota who married a guy in Egypt and fled home shortly after. I'm not telling you this to discourage her or make her change her mind - but she should read this book before getting married and moving to Egypt.
quote:Originally posted by The Ministry of Common Sense: EGYPTMOM: If you have not done so already you must buy and read this book. I suggest you make your daughter read it, too:
It contains many stories of young girls who moved overseas for marriage. Chapter 14 is about an American girl from Rural South Dakota who married a guy in Egypt and fled home shortly after. I'm not telling you this to discourage her or make her change her mind - but she should read this book before getting married and moving to Egypt.
posted
Both of my BILs married in Egypt. One had signing of the marriage contract at the wife's family house with males and females together, and the other had the signing ceremony at the mosque then had the marriage celebration up to 3 months later and that is when the wives moved with their husbands.
My question to your daughter is if your fiance dosen't believe women and men should mingle, how is he going to accept you being around males in college?
Posts: 319 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ** Ahmad**: Since the girl converted to islam,she can not marry herself,there must be someone (some male one)who comes and be her Walli( Al-Walli is Someone who is responsible for the girl such as her father ,uncle,...) this is of course assuming the girl never married before ,if she married before she can sigh the contract. Sorry to say that but this is how it must be.
According to the Hanafi school of jurisprudence, marriage is valid without a wali.
Do not know Dalia what r u taking about,but in Egypt there must be Walli
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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quote:Originally posted by The Ministry of Common Sense:
quote:Originally posted by ** Ahmad**: [QUOTE]In Islam ,Woman can not marry by themselves . Some MALE one has to sign the contract.The woman gives her permission to her WALLI to sign the contract.It is like a protocol. This Walli must be of her relatives(father ,uncle,..or anybody who is responsible for the girl) But it is not permitted for Female to sign by themselves the contract.
Ahmad: Does this apply (having a Walli) only to a girl if she is under 21 years old? Or is it for any woman if it is her first marriage? What about in the case where a Muslim man marries a Christian woman?
for first time marriage: if the girl is muslim and still young,probably his father will sign thr contract,If the woman is old and muslim ,there must always be also Walli and probably will be one of her relatives(assuming her father is dead)and probably will be her brother. for christian woman,I guess they can (in islam)marry themselves ,but the law requires Walli and I guess he can be anybody. not so sure about the christina part
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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quote:Originally posted by The Ministry of Common Sense: EGYPTMOM: If you have not done so already you must buy and read this book. I suggest you make your daughter read it, too:
It contains many stories of young girls who moved overseas for marriage. Chapter 14 is about an American girl from Rural South Dakota who married a guy in Egypt and fled home shortly after. I'm not telling you this to discourage her or make her change her mind - but she should read this book before getting married and moving to Egypt.
Actually, she had just gotten the "Muslim Life in America after 9/11" book recently.
Tell her to get the Face Behind the Veil as soon as possible. Read it before she goes to Egypt. Chapter 14.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by unsure: My question to your daughter is if your fiance dosen't believe women and men should mingle, how is he going to accept you being around males in college?
Exactly.
And what about what EGYPTMOM said (in the Travelling Egyptian thread) about her daughter will go to a college next to his so the can ride there together...something about he does not want her outside by herself without knowing the language.
I read that and thought - he just does not want her outside.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
I think reading a book won't change her mind. Perhaps it will leave a certain 'alert' far away in her brains, possibly it will pop-up in the future. I really don't understand what we are discussing here. A girl who is ready to leave high-school, and a mother who wants to hold the strings as much as possible, because the 18 yr old thinks she is doing the right thing by traveling to Egypt and marry another teenager.
Mother; if your son should be that age and he should want to marry another teenager from 18, somewhere from a far away country on the other side of our planete, what would you say?
Would you say it's okay for them to get her to the US, marry, and live together in your house, because he wasn't able to provide for what he wants right now?
Or would you laugh and tell him to do his best, work very hard, and save because your house is not a hotel and isn't an asylum seekers shelter either? Would you ask how the girl thinks about it, and how her parents think about it? Would you tell your son to make plan B and C in case something might get wrong? Where to leave the little Lolita when things turn out different as expected? Who is goung to take care for then?
'Its YOUR responsebility, son, so better prepare...'That's what I would say...
We can give advice as much as we want, the girl isn't asking for any advices, it's the mother who does. The young man also doesn't ask for advices here, he probably is thinking that he is Jack Sparrow sailing the Black Pearl to that big treasure in his own Global Challenge. He probably hasn't seen part three yet, because that is World's End.
So mother; ceremonies on the balcony or in the cellar, dowry or no-dowry, hard beds or soft beds, Egypt or the US, it has no use...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I don't think reading the book will change her mind. But the chapter that I am asking her to read has some eerie similarities to her own story. I re-read it last night and was thinking that.
In the US back in the early part of the century, it was not uncommon for a young man to get married and for the newlyweds to move into his parents home. I don't have statistics on this, but I don't think this trend is very common anymore. There are still some who get married young and move in with his or her parents. But most would prefer to have their own apartment.
I think another problem is that Roqayya is a new convert to Islam. Based on some of the things she has asked here (Men and Bathing) it appears that she does not know that much about Islam yet. Of course, as a new convert, she could not possibly know everything. But the problem that I see is that she is most likely getting the majority of information about Islam mostly for him. This may leave her with a slightly skewed perception.
This is the reason I was suggesting she read the book. Because it is full of stories of other converts (and born Muslims)and their experiences both good and bad. It may be helpful for her to get other points of view.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by The Ministry of Common Sense: I don't think reading the book will change her mind.
Nothing is going to change her mind.
He doesn't want her to go outside because she doesn't understand the language? What's going to happen if/when she does understand the language? Will she go outside? Nope, because the line in the sand will have already been drawn.
She doesn't even know enough about the religion, much less the culture, to know whether this guy bathes regularly (if at all).
The questions she asks and the information she grudgingly gives say she is niave and living in a fantasy world.
That's fine because maybe she'll enjoy being cooped up in a flat with a family she doesn't understand, spitting out baby after baby, and never seeing daylight.
It's her life.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Questionmarks: I think reading a book won't change her mind. Perhaps it will leave a certain 'alert' far away in her brains, possibly it will pop-up in the future. I really don't understand what we are discussing here. A girl who is ready to leave high-school, and a mother who wants to hold the strings as much as possible, because the 18 yr old thinks she is doing the right thing by traveling to Egypt and marry another teenager.
Mother; if your son should be that age and he should want to marry another teenager from 18, somewhere from a far away country on the other side of our planete, what would you say?
Would you say it's okay for them to get her to the US, marry, and live together in your house, because he wasn't able to provide for what he wants right now?
Or would you laugh and tell him to do his best, work very hard, and save because your house is not a hotel and isn't an asylum seekers shelter either? Would you ask how the girl thinks about it, and how her parents think about it? Would you tell your son to make plan B and C in case something might get wrong? Where to leave the little Lolita when things turn out different as expected? Who is goung to take care for then?
'Its YOUR responsebility, son, so better prepare...'That's what I would say...
We can give advice as much as we want, the girl isn't asking for any advices, it's the mother who does. The young man also doesn't ask for advices here, he probably is thinking that he is Jack Sparrow sailing the Black Pearl to that big treasure in his own Global Challenge. He probably hasn't seen part three yet, because that is World's End.
So mother; ceremonies on the balcony or in the cellar, dowry or no-dowry, hard beds or soft beds, Egypt or the US, it has no use...
When I first read yje mothers' posts was shocked. A boy who has not finished college marrying a girl ,a new convert to Islam in Egypt!!!!
what is this?? This never happens in the country.It is tradition in Egypt for families with only son the his mother look for a fiancee for him. And this happens almost in all families but with rich families it might not be like this. In Egypt,security in marriage is a must,and parents since they will be finacing their only son will ensure they choose some excellent girl. It goes like this,the mother when sitting with her friends having tea ,tell her friends to look for AROSA(bride) for her son,and they start to search.when they find her,they start to ask about the girl,parents,where they are living,and the girl is stubborn,ask about her morals,was she seein other people before him,what degree she has,and endless list. I have never heard before about any balacony(and I'm sure I will not her about it). The idea that the girl will continue her education elsewhere is a disaster.The education system in Egypt is not Of extra high quality,it is bad but it is not as good as the US. I want to comment about the boy not wanting here to go alone with herself. we Can think in it two ways: 1-He does not want her to know anything but throw him 2-he is afraid about her of being lost if she goes alone in Egypt(which will happen if she did,for example Egyptian son who were living in the Gulf find the first year or two so difficult in the new society,and big percent of them fail in the first year in college due to educational and cultural differences,not that they r Egyptians living with their relatives(grandmother,uncle.....)but this is still difficult. I do not know ,Something is wrong and the girl will find the first year one of the most Damn difficult years ever she had experienced.
Something which really amazing me ,that the parents of the boy have nothing to do with him.and in fact they are everything,he can not do anything without them.
I am completely surprised at their attitude,these are not the true and good Egyptians I know who care about their son and want him a good future.
I do not want to say this is a conspiracy but for me this is something completely odd to the society!! Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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Im not an extremely religious person-Catholic Christian-but what ive read about Roqaya's fiancee from her posts and her mothers comes across as almost an extremist kind of Muslim guy.Eeriely type of,i would say.Nothing at all as the Muslims ive met and im friends with in Egypt,or the ones i read about here. All it takes is to read her posts about it all from when she started on this board and you get the worriesome picture.
Extremely interesting your points as an Egyptian man to take in mind for Roqaya and her Mom, Ahmad.
Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: Im not an extremely religious person-Catholic Christian-but what ive read about Roqaya's fiancee from her posts and her mothers comes across as almost an extremist kind of Muslim guy.Eeriely type of,i would say.Nothing at all as the Muslims ive met and im friends with in Egypt,or the ones i read about here. All it takes is to read her posts about it all from when she started on this board and you get the worriesome picture.
Extremely interesting your points as an Egyptian man to take in mind for Roqaya and her Mom, Ahmad.
I also has just read most of her posts.the girl seems to be living in a dream!!
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
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if she could'nt read Arabic she could have been marrying anybody!!
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and the marriage was postponed, which was a kind of disgrace. After a big noisy meetup the families decided to leave it up to the bride and the groom and after a few weeks, they married as planned; first the ceremony in the mosque, after a few days the feast.![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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