I am looking for a way to renegotiate my Egyptian marriage contract so that it says I get custody of our daughter even if I marry another man. My soon to be ex husband has agreed to sign it but I don't know where to start.
We married in Cairo but I am in the U.S. now.
Posts: 285 | From: egypt | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
You simply go through the American court system and take all precautions that your soon-to-be ex-husband won't be able to take her out of the US back to his homecountry.
Whenever you are thinking of visiting with your daughter Egypt - think again. Your husband could keep her without a problem there and he would have the Egyptian legal rights on his side until you could probably prove differently after many many years in an Egyptian courtroom and still then it's highly unlikable that you would get your daughter back.
so be wise and whatever you both agree now - always keep in mind nothing is 100%.
I am sorry that your happiness didn't last too long. All the best for the future.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Questionmarks: Well, she also is 109 years old...
Good point, but she's got some life left in her if she's thinking of marrying again...lol
Posts: 431 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Is your daughter also with you in the US? Make sure you have her Egyptian passport and not your husband (if she has one). He cannot take her on her US passport without your signature. Don't take her to Egypt for the above mentioned reasons.
Posts: 246 | From: but one life to live | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
International Family Abduction Prevention Tips
Clearly the easiest solution to the problem of international child abduction is to prevent it from happening. NCMEC's Missing Children's Services' International Team works to find “best practices” for preventing abductions by providing creative and practical advice.
The information below is from the Bureau of Consular Affairs.1
Dual Nationality
Children born to a foreign parent may have dual citizenship. In addition to being a citizen of the United States, they may also have the citizenship of the other parent. This may be true even if the foreign parent has become a naturalized citizen of the United States. Foreign governments may therefore provide their citizens with a passport, visa, and exit or entry permits for themselves and/or the child. To determine if your child has dual nationality, contact the nation’s embassy or consulate. Provide them with a copy of a court order granting you sole/joint custody or restricting the child from being removed from the United States. While the embassy is not legally obligated to honor your request, they may be persuaded by it.
The information below is from Parental Kidnapping: Prevention and Remedies2 by Patricia M. Hoff.
Common “Red Flags”
According to the American Bar Association, the chances of an international abduction may increase when a parent has previously abducted the child or threatened to do so no strong ties to the child’s home state friends or family living abroad a strong support network no job, can earn a living almost anywhere, or is financially independent recently quit a job, sold a home or terminated a lease, closed a bank account or liquidated other assets a history of marital instability or a lack of parental cooperation a prior criminal record Top
Consider Mediation
Seek assistance from a counseling or mediating source. Many parents fearful of, or experiencing, an international parental abduction request assistance from a missing children’s organization specializing in international abduction. Keep lists of information about your former partner and his or her friends and family, both in the U.S. and abroad. Keep a record of passport numbers, immigration status, and visa work permit numbers. A parent who feels his or her relationship to the child is threatened may be likely to abduct. Further, in international cases, a foreign parent may want the child raised within a certain culture or religion. As in all cases where parental abduction is threatened, a custody mediator may help to refocus the attention of the parents on what is best for the child and assist in developing workable cross-cultural, child-rearing strategies.
Obtain a Custody Order
Obtaining a valid custody order or decree is essential to preventing the abduction of your child. Seek the advice of a qualified attorney who can assist you in gaining sole custody of your child. Avoid joint custody orders in families with citizenship in more than one country. If the foreign parent abducts the child to his or her home country, an order called “joint custody” may be interpreted as authorizing the retention of the child in that country. If joint custody is nevertheless awarded, make sure a “primary residential custodian” is named and the order specifies where and with whom the child is to live at what times. Contact your local or state bar association for assistance in locating an attorney with experience in family custody law. Specify in the custody order the exact times and locations for visitation. Set up a legally enforceable visitation schedule for the other parent. You may find it necessary to request the courts in the United States restrict any visitation rights the noncustodial parent has until sufficient guarantees have been given that the parent will not abduct the child. In the event temporary suspension of visitation by the noncustodial parent is not appropriate, request that the allowed visitation be supervised.
Top
Passport Restrictions
For children younger than 14, both parents must give permission for the issuance of a passport. In addition federal law now requires that each child younger than 14 must appear in person with the parents, and parents must show acceptable identification and proof of parental relationship to the child. Remember, when a parent has dual citizenship the issuance of a U.S. passport does not automatically prevent that parent from obtaining a foreign passport. In addition foreign embassies are not required to honor a request or court order restricting the issuance of a passport.
The U.S. Department of State can confirm whether or not a U.S. passport has been issued to your child. If a passport has not been issued, you or your attorney may request that your child's name be entered into the U.S. Department of State's Passport Alert system. The U.S. Department of State will then notify you if a passport application is received anywhere in the United States, or U.S. Embassy or consulate in another country, for your child. The U.S. Department of State may be able to refuse issuance of a passport if you have a court order granting you sole custody or require your signature for the child to travel.
U.S. Department of State Office of Children's Issues SA-29 Fourth Floor 2201 C Street NW Washington, DC 20520-2818
Telephone 202-736-9124 Fax 202-736-9133
Your request should include your child's full name, date of birth, and place of birth; a copy of any court orders relating to the custody or travel restrictions of the child; and the address and telephone number(s) where you can be reached.
One recent excellent article discusses preventive interventions aimed at settling custody and access issues of families identified as serious at-risk parents for custodial interference. Johnston & Girdner, supra , 36 Fam. & Conciliation Courts Rev. 392. Doctors Johnston and Girdner offer six profiles of parental child-snatchers.
First, parental abductors have several common characteristics: the abductors are likely to dismiss the value of the other parent to the child. They believe that they know, more than anyone else, including a judge, what is best for their child. Second, the children abducted are likely to be very young (2-3 years old), since they are easy to transport and cannot verbally protest or tell others of their history. If older, such children, often manipulated, have colluded with the abducting parent. Finally, the abductors work with an extensive social network of other persons for practical assistance and to keep their whereabouts hidden. Id. at 395.
The first profile is when there has been a prior threat of or an actual abduction. Where parents have made such threats, withheld visitation, or snatched a child in the past, there is a heightened risk for further serious custody violations. Id. . Liquidation of assets or a maximum draw on a credit card is an obvious sign of an intent to abduct. Several interventions for this profile are indicated. First, court orders need to be in place, spelling out contact for the other parent and specifying the consequences for contempt of these court orders.
Doctors Johnston and Girdner also suggest that copies of such court orders be given to agencies that issue passports with the request that the custodial parent be notified if the other parent attempts to obtain copies of such documents without the certified written authorization of both parents or the court. The child’s passport can be marked with a requirement that travel is not permitted without the same authorization. The child’s and parents ’ passports may be held by a neutral third party. The court can require (or parents may stipulate) that a substantial bond will be posted by the departing parent, especially if leaving the country for vacation. Id. .
School authorities, daycare persons, and medical personnel should also have a copy of the custody order and can be given explicit instructions not to release the child or any records of the child to the noncustodial parent. If possible, relatives and others who might support a parent in hiding a child should clearly understand their criminal liability if they aid and abet a felony. Older children can be taught how to protect themselves against a parental abduction and how to find help if they are taken. Id.
Supervised visitation, of course, is one fairly stringent method of prevention, which is typically used to prevent recidivism in serious cases of child stealing. Id. At 397.
The second profile of abductors involves parents who abduct their children because they truly believe that the other parent is abusing, molesting, or neglecting their child. They feel that the authorities have not seriously taken the allegations and have not properly investigated their concerns. In these cases, repeated counter-allegations are likely to occur, with a decrease in communication and an increase in the hostility and distrust between parents. Id.
The interventions suggested for the second profile include ensuring that a thorough investigation of the allegations has been undertaken, or is in progress. Frantic parents are likely to become calmer and more rational if they feel their concerns are being taken seriously. Likewise, accused parents are more cooperative if approached with a respectful request to help the investigators get to the bottom of what might be inciting the suspicions of abuse. During this investigative stage, precautions need to be taken to ensure that there is no ongoing abuse or alternatively, to protect an innocent parent from further allegations. Such precautions may include supervised visitation, especially if the child is young, clearly frightened, or distressed and symptomatic in response to visits. Id. at 398.
In cases of extreme distrust between the parents, the court may have to undertake further steps, including: (1) mandated counseling for one or both parents to ensure appropriate parenting practices where there has been poor judgment or unclear boundaries on the part of a parent; (2) appointment of a special master (co-parenting coordinator and arbitrator) to help parents communicate and "reality-test their mutual distrust," monitor the situation, and make necessary decisions in an ongoing way-, (3) provision of long-term therapy for the child that offers a safe place for the child to sort through his or her realistic fears and phobias and to disclose abuse should it occur or recur; and (4) appointment of a legal representative (guardian ad litem) for the child in the event of further legal action. Id. at 398.
The third profile is the parent who shows signs of flagrant paranoid beliefs or psychotic delusions. In this situation, the intervention must focus on the child and his or her safety and well-being. Tithe disturbed person is the non-custodial parent, visitation needs to be supervised in a high security facility. Unfortunately, the other parent and the child must be informed about a safety plan at all times. Finally, if there are repeated violations of a visitation order or the child is distressed by the visits, visitation may need to be suspended. Visitation must be suspended where the parent uses the time with the child to transmit messages of harm or to obtain personal information about the other parent’s whereabouts. Id. at 400.
The fourth profile is the sociopathic personality. Id. In such a case, therapeutic mediation or family counseling is not wise arid may, indeed, result in disaster. The parent with such sociopathic disturbance will not respect his or her word and will manipulate the therapy to shield disclosures and control the process. Id. at 401. Instead, supervised or suspended visitation is required. Id.
The fifth profile involves parents of different nationalities or with dual citizenships, ending a mixed culture marriage. Id. Parents with strong ties to their native lands are strong risks for child-snatching. Because of the shakeup and emotions accompanying divorce, fleeing with the child to the country of origin offers them the appeal of an emotional salve. Taking the child allows them to imprint on the child the culture of their native country as preeminent. Id. . at 401-402. If the foreign country is not a signatory to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, recovery of the child is virtually impossible. Id.
As Doctors Johnston and Girdner provide, several interventions can be called for to deal with the fifth profile, involving a risk of international abduction. Id. at 402. Preventive measures include restricting removal of the child from the state or country without authorization, preventing issuance of the child’s passport, or requiring that the parent’s and child’s passports be surrendered. Difficulties occur where the child has dual citizenship, as foreign embassies and consulates are not under an obligation to honor these restrictions if the request is made by the ex-spouse who is a non-national. Instead, the requirement can be placed upon the foreigner at risk for abducting to request and obtain these assurances of passport control from his or her own embassy before being granted unsupervised visitation with the child. Id.
The at-risk parent could also post a bond which would be released to the left-behind parent in the event of an abduction. At times of acute risk, airline schedules to foreign countries can be monitored with the possibility that the abducting parent and child can be intercepted prior to departure from the United States or during a scheduled stopover in a country that is a party to the Hague Convention. Id.
The parents may also enter into a stipulation that neither of them will request travel documents for their child, with the understanding that a copy of this stipulation, properly sealed, will be delivered to all of the appropriate offices of the foreign country in the United States, Canada, and Mexico with a cover letter stating that they both wish that the stipulation (consent order) be followed.
A person may petition a foreign court to issue an order which parallels or "mirrors" the provisions of the U. S. court order, and this can be enforced by order of the court in that foreign country. This is a potentially costly time-consuming measure because it usually involves hiring legal representation in the foreign country and crafting a reciprocal order that is in conformity with both countries’ child custody laws and procedures. Id. at 402-403. However, the cost may be warranted to diminish the risk involved in granting foreigners their understandable wishes to visit their homeland with their children in countries that are not party to the Hague Convention. It is also important for all involved parties to know that U. S. laws exclude alien abductors, and their foreign relatives and friends who assist in keeping a child abroad, from entry into this country. This information may deter non-U. S. citizens whose interests are to travel in and out of the United States from being party to child stealing.
Although the above measures can help prevent abductions, they do not address the underlying problems that may prompt a parent to abduct to another country, nor do they provide sufficient deterrence to the parent who is highly motivated to abduct. Culturally sensitive counseling and mediation that will discern and address these underlying psychological dynamics are needed to help these parents settle their internal conflicts. They also have to be reminded of (l) the child’s need for both parents and (2) the importance of providing opportunities for the child to appreciate and integrate his or her mixed cultural or racial identities. Id. at 403.
The sixth and final profile is when parents feel disenfranchised by the legal system and have a family and social support network in another community. Id. . This group includes several subgroups, including the poor, persons from cultures that put a premium on the gender of a parent or whether a parent will abide by certain religious teachings in raising the child, unmarried mothers, and victims of domestic violence. Id. at 403-404.
The interventions include, as Doctors Johnston and Girdner indicate, a need for a "user-friendly court system," a cooperative clerical staff, language translation services, and support persons who will accompany them through the legal process. Some states may provide a Family Court Clinic where poor litigants have access to free or pro bono representation. Second, these disadvantaged parents need access to affordable psychological counseling services for themselves and their children to help them manage their emotional distress and vulnerability and strengthen their parenting capacities. Third, family advocates can bridge the cultural, economic, and logistical chasms to other community resources, such as domestic violence services, substance abuse monitoring and counseling, training and employment opportunities, housing options, and mental health services. Id. at 404-405.
Doctors Johnston and Girdner conclude that more restrictive measures are warranted under three conditions: (1) when the risks for abduction are higher as indicated by prior custody violations, clear evidence of plans to abduct, and overt threats to take the child; (2) when obstacles to the location and return of the child are greater, as they are from uncooperative jurisdictions, especially in countries not party to the Hague Convention; and (3) when the potential harm to the child as a consequence of abduction is substantial. Such substantial harm is likely with parents who have serious mental and personality disorders, or in cases where a parent has a history of abuse or violence, or where a biological parent has had little or no prior relationship with the child. Id. at 405. See generally, Schacht, "Prevention Strategies to Protect Professionals and Families Involved in High-Conflict Divorce, " 22 U. Ark. Little Rock L. Rev. 565 (2000).
posted
Thank you guys for your advice. I am a little more scared now though! :/ lol He is living here, a few blocks away, and I taking her for the month of Ramadan. I don't see him trying to do something to keep her there now...but I would like to prepare for the future because eventually he will visit with her....and some day I do want to remarry. Now, we live in Florida, which as of December of 2008 no longer grants sole custody to any one parent, so we can only file for joint custody. That really limits my options. I wonder if the next best thing is to just redraft the marriage contract in Egypt to say that I get custody of the child even if I remarry. So, my question remains.....how can I do this? Where would I go or call to get this marriage contract redrafted?
posted
You can still keep her here by not signing to let her out of the country. If she goes to Egypt for Ramadan, he can keep her there, regardless on whether you have custody of her or not.
Posts: 246 | From: but one life to live | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
I think your marriage contract is done since it was signed, there is nothing to be changed at a later point. I believe you are trying to receive sole custody of your daughter under Egyptian law and you hope it will be recognized by the State of Florida. But I can't see that Egypt has anything to do with arrangements regarding your divorce and the child since you all live in the US.
You still have a special case since your husband willingly supports that you receive sole custody for your child. Also your soon-to-be exhusband might return back to his homecountry Egypt at one point so he'll be not able to fully perform his responsibilities as a parent and keep a close bond to the daughter anyway. To avoid any kind of problems like child kidnapping etc. - you have to think here about the worst case scenario and I always say better safe than sorry - it is advised to seek for sole custody and perhaps even supervised visitation rights of your husband. Just don't let him be alone with her.
See also again the above link for how to "Obtain a Custody Order" .
Hire an experienced family custody lawyer and try to get your request for sole custody through the courts. Best of luck.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
To answer your question properly you will need to contact an Egyptian lawyer. Your embassy in Cairo will have a list, if not the British embassy does.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Are you okay with her going to Egypt without you? You know, like handsuphandsdown said, you don't have to sign to let her leave. I don't know your ex or your situation but it is possible for him to keep her there once he gets her there. Courts and changing the marriage cert will only go so far. How can you enforce such?
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I think SHE posted that she is taking the child for Ramadan.
I would be careful though. I have heard that you can change a marriage cert, my hubby and i have said that we will do this next time in Egypt, so i can travel freely with the children but i do think your husband has to be present when any changes are made gal. Is your ex going? would he change it?
I would speak to someone first (lawyer etc) and get some solid advice before you travel. Posts: 895 | Registered: Sep 2007
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