posted
Ok, so here is an interesting dilema. Let's see you take on it:
American woman married an Egyptian man and shortly there after converts and begins to wear the hijab. He tells her she is not ready but, out of vanity since everyone in Egypt is wearing them and they look so pretty, the gal puts it on. However, he warns her that she is not ready and even tells her that she can put it on but if she were to ever remove it ... it could mean their marriage.
A couple of years go by and she then decides she no longer wishes to wear the hijab.
When she takes it off he threatens to divorce her and so forth until she puts it back on. She stands her ground and refuses to be dictated to in regards to her faith.
They divorce. Upon the reconciliation process he stands firm and says that unless she puts it back on they cannot be together.
Does he have the right to say this to her? What does the Quran and Hadiths say about this? Is it ultimately her decision?
posted
Why does he keep telling her she's not ready to wear higab? That doesn't makes sense...................but regardless, he should not have married her until she had converted and wore higab for a while, so he could have time to see if she was serious or not.
Not to say that a woman who has worn higab all her life might not take it off later...........
but the if the husband is a serious Muslim and a normal arab guy, then he will of course object to her taking it off as disrespect to Islam and to him........and arab husbands generally don't tolerate disrespect from their wives...ever. They are not doormats like a lot of western guys.
I speak from personal experience (my husband is Egyptian, I was already Muslim, and I was born in america).........
Posts: 8 | Registered: Jul 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl: if the husband is a serious Muslim and a normal arab guy, then he will of course object to her taking it off as disrespect to Islam and to him........and arab husbands generally don't tolerate disrespect ...ever. They are not doormats like a lot of western guys.
gal I have been Muslim 7 years (on 26th this month ) I converted 2 years BEFORE I met my husband so I was wearing hijab when we met.
As recently as the last 2 months I have decided to take it off for various reasons, one being the heat here and another being that I do not believe it is an order from Allah, but lets not go into that here
My husband once told me to take it off as I was having huge problems with the heat here, he told me Islam is in the heart and NOT in what I wear, of course this didnt mean run round Luxor in a bikini!!
My husband HAS mentioned me taking it off BUT he is fully aware this is MY choice and that it is not HIS job to order me to do anything concerning my Islam and my faith. If he insisted I wear it then we would be divorced because I will not have ANY man, or woman, order me about in how I practice MY faith.
Not all Arabs are like the one you and Menagirl describe, some are not so insecure in their own faith and their own manhood, thankfully
If I was your friend I would thank Allah for showing her what she married and tell her to get on with her own relationship with Allah and stop trying to be substitute for his lack of it.
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think the husband has been searching for a stick to hit the dog...like penny said: If it wasn't the hijab he probably would have found another reason to divorce her. Like Islam is in the heart, also love is in the heart, and if there is enough love he would have talked about what is bothering him...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
Not all Arabs are like the one you and Menagirl describe, some are not so insecure in their own faith and their own manhood, thankfully
So true...goodness this site does give arab men such a one-sided view...yes there are men like this but its pretty easy to spot them..so why marry someone you are not compatible with Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think that's an universal question, Penny. regarding the statistics of failed relationships almost everyone on this world at least has been chosen for someone where they weren't compatible with. Not only in love-relationships, but also in friendships. You know, the more close a person gets to another one, the higher the risk at failures. And because in case of marriages, divorce is a possebility, it's an often used escape. The only bound that can't be broken, is a familyrelationship. You always stay a mother/father or a brother/sister, even if you are not compatible. All the other ones can break...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
VJ member I'm assuming? Keep this kind of crap on VJ where it belongs.
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl: Why does he keep telling her she's not ready to wear higab? That doesn't makes sense...................but regardless, he should not have married her until she had converted and wore higab for a while, so he could have time to see if she was serious or not.
Not to say that a woman who has worn higab all her life might not take it off later...........
but the if the husband is a serious Muslim and a normal arab guy, then he will of course object to her taking it off as disrespect to Islam and to him........and arab husbands generally don't tolerate disrespect from their wives...ever. They are not doormats like a lot of western guys.
I speak from personal experience (my husband is Egyptian, I was already Muslim, and I was born in america).........
posted
An immigration forum. MENA is the section dealing with middle east north africa, wives of men from that region mostly. This particulary section of the forum is mostly made up of drama queens and cougars. Also, lots of chicks who allow their husbands or fiances to take over their brains and souls. Hence the ramblings of MENAgirl.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
maybe they dont have brains to take over in the first place?
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
That, too. I suspect most are lacking in that area. The drama on that board can be entertaining but it's mostly sad.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
Quran and Hadith says she must cover every thing except her face ,her hand,and her foot to her anckle. Order is explicit in these Sahih Hadith and anyone who tells you anything else is extremeist. In Islam Borqo' and Niqab is not of the religion it is just habbits but some extremist is using weak and not true hadith to say that thing.do not follow them
quote: Is it ultimately her decision?
it is the desicion of both of them and he told her "do not" so why she insisted on putting it then she said she won't? why her husband has not used wisedom with her?! do not know ,very strange story
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by galmarriedtoegyptian: [qb]
Does he have the right to say this to her?
yes and no!
quote:Originally posted by galmarriedtoegyptian:
What does the Quran and Hadiths say about this?
Quran and Hadith says she must cover every thing except her face ,her hand,and her foot to her anckle. Order is explicit in these Sahih Hadith and anyone who tells you anything else is extremeist.
Quran does NOT say this. The Quran is quite clear on what hijab is for men and women and clear what to cover up.
The hadith does say this but again another invention by man to control women because man cant control himself and follow the orders in Quran where it tells MAN to lower his gaze.
Covering everything except face hand and foot is the extremist view
quote:
quote: Is it ultimately her decision?
it is the desicion of both of them and he told her "do not" so why she insisted on putting it then she said she won't? why her husband has not used wisedom with her?! do not know ,very strange story
It is HER decision as Allah gave HER a brain and didnt expect her to share her husbands.
Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by galmarriedtoegyptian: [qb]
Does he have the right to say this to her?
yes and no!
quote:Originally posted by galmarriedtoegyptian:
What does the Quran and Hadiths say about this?
Quran and Hadith says she must cover every thing except her face ,her hand,and her foot to her anckle. Order is explicit in these Sahih Hadith and anyone who tells you anything else is extremeist.
Quran does NOT say this. The Quran is quite clear on what hijab is for men and women and clear what to cover up.
The hadith does say this but again another invention by man to control women because man cant control himself and follow the orders in Quran where it tells MAN to lower his gaze.
Covering everything except face hand and foot is the extremist view
quote:
quote: Is it ultimately her decision?
it is the desicion of both of them and he told her "do not" so why she insisted on putting it then she said she won't? why her husband has not used wisedom with her?! do not know ,very strange story
It is HER decision as Allah gave HER a brain and didnt expect her to share her husbands.
not going to discuss religion here
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: Covering everything except face hand and foot is the extremist view
It's based on a weak hadith too -- the one about the prophet pointing at Ayisha and supposedly saying that when a woman has reached puberty she needs to cover this and that.
Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: Covering everything except face hand and foot is the extremist view
It's based on a weak hadith too -- the one about the prophet pointing at Ayisha and supposedly saying that when a woman has reached puberty she needs to cover this and that.
I will not discuss that here too
btw,it is not weak hadith. btw,it was his daughter Fatima not his wife and the incidence happened in Mecca when the prophet was praying in the Ka'ba please do not get the discussion out the religion forum to here.
Posts: 2417 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: Are some of you for real?
My husband HAS mentioned me taking it off BUT he is fully aware this is MY choice and that it is not HIS job to order me to do anything concerning my Islam and my faith. If he insisted I wear it then we would be divorced because I will not have ANY man, or woman, order me about in how I practice MY faith.
Amen to that and what a nice hubby y have!!!!
Posts: 1325 | From: For tooti http://www.csa.gov.uk/ | Registered: May 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by ** Ahmad**: I will not discuss that here too
I wouldn't discuss this subject with you at all.
quote:Originally posted by ** Ahmad**: btw,it was his daughter Fatima not his wife
I stand corrected, it wasn't Ayisha. But it wasn't Fatima either:
narrated by Abu Dawood (4104) from al-Waleed from Sa’eed ibn Basheer from Qataadah from Khaalid ibn Durayk from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), that Asma’ bint Abi Bakr entered upon the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wearing a thin dress. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) turned away from her and said, “O Asma’, when a woman reaches the age of puberty, nothing should be seen of her except this and this” – and he pointed to his face and hands.
This hadeeth is da’eef (weak) and is not fit to be used as evidence. The reasons why it is da’eef are as follows:
1 – Its isnaad is interrupted, as was stated by Imam Abu Dawood (may Allaah have mercy on him) when he said, “This is mursal; Khaalid ibn Durayk did not meet ‘Aa’ishah.”
2 – Its isnaad includes Sa’eed ibn Basheer al-Azdi (or it was said al-Basri) Abu ‘Abd al-Rahmaan. Some scholars of hadeeth regarded him as thiqah (trustworthy), but Ahmad, Ibn Ma’een, Ibn al-Madeeni, al-Nasaa’i, al-Haakim and Abu Dawood regarded him as da’eef. (weak).
Muhammad ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Numayr said of him: His hadeeth is to be rejected and he does not amount to anything, and he is not strong in hadeeth. He narrated munkar reports from Qataadah.
Ibn Hibbaan said of him: He has a bad memory and makes grievous mistakes.
Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said of him: (he is) da’eef.
3 – Its isnaad includes Qataadah who is mudallis (i.e., gives false impressions concerning the narration of the hadeeth) and did not clearly state that he heard the hadeeth from another. It also includes al-Waleed ibn Muslim of whom al-Haafiz said: (he is) trustworthy but he was also mudallis and did not clearly state that he heard the hadeeth from another.
These are the faults in the hadeeth because of which the hadeeth was judged to be da’eef (weak). See Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, Majallat al-Buhooth, 21/68.
Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by galmarriedtoegyptian: [qb]
Does he have the right to say this to her?
yes and no!
quote:Originally posted by galmarriedtoegyptian:
What does the Quran and Hadiths say about this?
Quran and Hadith says she must cover every thing except her face ,her hand,and her foot to her anckle. Order is explicit in these Sahih Hadith and anyone who tells you anything else is extremeist.
Quran does NOT say this. The Quran is quite clear on what hijab is for men and women and clear what to cover up.
The hadith does say this but again another invention by man to control women because man cant control himself and follow the orders in Quran where it tells MAN to lower his gaze.
Covering everything except face hand and foot is the extremist view
quote:
quote: Is it ultimately her decision?
it is the desicion of both of them and he told her "do not" so why she insisted on putting it then she said she won't? why her husband has not used wisedom with her?! do not know ,very strange story
It is HER decision as Allah gave HER a brain and didnt expect her to share her husbands.
not going to discuss religion here
Good! But the question AND your reply ARE about religion Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: Are some of you for real?
My husband HAS mentioned me taking it off BUT he is fully aware this is MY choice and that it is not HIS job to order me to do anything concerning my Islam and my faith. If he insisted I wear it then we would be divorced because I will not have ANY man, or woman, order me about in how I practice MY faith.
Amen to that and what a nice hubby y have!!!!
I know And he's a bit gorgeous too! Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
OK, well I have thoughts on this and here they are.
First I will start with the religious aspect. Whether Ahmed is right or Ayisha is right, the important thing is that they BOTH have reasons for their way of thinking, both are intelligent yet have reached DIFFERENT conclusions. Here lies the problem, no one can give you a difinitive answer according to Allah, only to what THEY believe Allah wishes, the rest is up to you.
So, the important thing is to find out what YOU think Allah wishes. And act according to that. If you were to accept your husbands views, Ayishas or Ahmeds, you would never be happy and it would always rear its ugly head, because it has to come from inside YOU.
Some muslims do not understand the conflict that reverts have when it comes to these things, we were raised differently, no matter how much we may WANT to embrace all these new things, it will be difficult, and our feelings will change about them. I believe thats normal.
A very wise person once said to me to relaxxxx about it, let things come in their own time and take the pressure off yourself. I believe that Allah would want us to do this too, but again, its just MY belief.
Secondly, the relationship aspect. THE most important part of a relationship is acceptance and understanding of each other. If you truly do this then you can work through problems together and really care about how someone feels and why, this will bring you closer and make you stronger as a couple.
If the ex values how HE feels over how YOU feel then this will happen in all areas of the relationship, so you might try to please him NOW, and next time there will be something else, and something else..etc. You will never be allowed to relax in this case because you might even begin to believe that how HE feels is more important...which of course it isn't.
People need to look beyond what they WANT, and look at what they HAVE. Do they really love the person they are with if they would divorce them for not wearing hijab? I dont think so. Would you divorce someone for not performing wudu correctly? or wearing shorts?
My final point is this: Hijab is NOT the 6th pillar of Islam.
The woman will be happier marrying a muslim who thinks the same (or similar) way to her. This one clearly doesn't.
Posts: 431 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Elegantly Wasted: An immigration forum. MENA is the section dealing with middle east north africa, wives of men from that region mostly. This particulary section of the forum is mostly made up of drama queens and cougars. Also, lots of chicks who allow their husbands or fiances to take over their brains and souls. Hence the ramblings of MENAgirl.
And your proof about me is???????? Well, I'm waiting................thought so........you don't have any. You sound like an islamaphobe or at least a man-hater. Or maybe you just hate muslim men.
Don't talk about people or things you have no knowledge or proof about........makes you look STUPID and CRAZY.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Jul 2009
| IP: Logged |
posted
You're an idiot. You've quoted me talking about an immigration forum that I believe you are a member of, not that it makes any difference, I was curious. So are you a member or not? That's all I've asked. MENA is a very distinct acronym to that forum. So...
I don't know anything about you personally, nor do I care to. Brainless, zombie like followers of their husbands don't interest me.
I don't hate Muslim men, I'm a mother to two future men, Muslims ones.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Elegantly Wasted: You're an idiot. You've quoted me talking about an immigration forum that I believe you are a member of, not that it makes any difference, I was curious. So are you a member or not? That's all I've asked. MENA is a very distinct acronym to that forum. So...
I don't know anything about you personally, nor do I care to. Brainless, zombie like followers of their husbands don't interest me.
I don't hate Muslim men, I'm a mother to two future men, Muslims ones.
The acronym MENA or ME/NA is known world wide in many other venues: the military, airlines, etc., etc., not just chat forums.
And it is so obvious you are a Muslim man-hater, otherwise, why would you insult me as being a "Brainless, zombie like followers of their husbands".
Women like you hate men period, hate men to tell them anything, hate men to help them, hate men to act like a real man in the relationship. I don't know why man-haters even get married. Maybe just to make their husband's life hell as a punishment.
I feel so sorry for any Muslim man married to a non-muslim woman that treats him with such hatred. But it's his fault for allowing his wife to treat him like crap and sitting back and taking it. Someday that husband will have enough and go and marry a real muslim woman who knows how to treat him, as a real man.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Jul 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Elegantly Wasted: You're an idiot. You've quoted me talking about an immigration forum that I believe you are a member of, not that it makes any difference, I was curious. So are you a member or not? That's all I've asked. MENA is a very distinct acronym to that forum. So...
I don't know anything about you personally, nor do I care to. Brainless, zombie like followers of their husbands don't interest me.
I don't hate Muslim men, I'm a mother to two future men, Muslims ones.
The acronym MENA or ME/NA is known world wide in many other venues: the military, airlines, etc., etc., not just chat forums.
And it is so obvious you are a Muslim man-hater, otherwise, why would you insult me as being a "Brainless, zombie like followers of their husbands".
Women like you hate men period, hate men to tell them anything, hate men to help them, hate men to act like a real man in the relationship. I don't know why man-haters even get married. Maybe just to make their husband's life hell as a punishment.
I feel so sorry for any Muslim man married to a non-muslim woman that treats him with such hatred. But it's his fault for allowing his wife to treat him like crap and sitting back and taking it. Someday that husband will have enough and go and marry a real muslim woman who knows how to treat him, as a real man.
HAHAHAHAHA THATS SO DAMN FUNNY CAS ITS A STUPID REPLY. JUST CAS WE DO NOT DO AS THE MEN WANT DOESNT MAKE US MEN HATERS.and also just cas we smoke and do what we want when we want doesnt make us dirty...
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl: Foul mouth? Which profanity did I use??? None. And I don't have a holier than thou attitude.
Your first post on this forum was talking about Muslim men and respect, and clearly showed that you look down on any woman who does not think obedience to her husband is a requirement. And you suggested that men who don't like to control their wifes are *doormats*, not real men.
You, of course, are different, you and your husband are dedicated, pious Muslims. If that's not a holier-than-thou attitude, I don't know what it is.
As for your foul mouth ... the second post of yours I came across was this one:
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl: You sound like an islamaphobe or at least a man-hater. Or maybe you just hate muslim men.
Don't talk about people or things you have no knowledge or proof about........makes you look STUPID and CRAZY.
Nice Islamic behaviour you're displaying there. But, hey, as long as you keep wearing your hijab and obeying your husband you'll keep collecting enough hassanat in order to make up for it.
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl:
Non-muslim women and non-higabis always insult us higabis for being controlled by our husbands and having unhappy lives.
That is an untrue and paranoid statement. I am starting to wonder if you're for real ... your statements are so stereotypical and exaggerated, it's hard for me to imagine that someone might actually be thinking that way.
Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl: Foul mouth? Which profanity did I use??? None. And I don't have a holier than thou attitude.
Your first post on this forum was talking about Muslim men and respect, and clearly showed that you look down on any woman who does not think obedience to her husband is a requirement. And you suggested that men who don't like to control their wifes are *doormats*, not real men.
You, of course, are different, you and your husband are dedicated, pious Muslims. If that's not a holier-than-thou attitude, I don't know what it is.
As for your foul mouth ... the second post of yours I came across was this one:
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl: You sound like an islamaphobe or at least a man-hater. Or maybe you just hate muslim men.
Don't talk about people or things you have no knowledge or proof about........makes you look STUPID and CRAZY.
Nice Islamic behaviour you're displaying there. But, hey, as long as you keep wearing your hijab and obeying your husband you'll keep collecting enough hassanat in order to make up for it.
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl:
Non-muslim women and non-higabis always insult us higabis for being controlled by our husbands and having unhappy lives.
That is an untrue and paranoid statement. I am starting to wonder if you're for real ... your statements are so stereotypical and exaggerated, it's hard for me to imagine that someone might actually be thinking that way.
The words man-hater and islamaphobe are not foul-mouthed or profane in anyway at all. Everyone who knows me knows I don't use profanity.
And I NEVER said that any man who doesn't like to control their wife is a doormat, you totally twisted my words. I do believe that western men tend to take more disrespect from women that arab muslim men do.
And my statement about non-muslim women and non-higabis giving higabis a hard time about being controlled by our husbands is not paranoid, it is a fact in post after post in many mixed forums. I could care less what they think or say about me, so I'm I don't need to feel paranoid.
And I am not exaggerated or stereotypical at all in the muslim world. In the western world, yes, but not in the muslim world.
Look, my husband and I are practicing muslims, yes, I wear higab, yes, but we are a normal, nece couple in love and we love doing things for each other. He does just as much for me, much more acutally, as I do for him, we are equal in so many ways. He loves to cook and will clean any day of the week. He takes care of me when I don't feel well, and always puts me and my feeligs first.
Just because I love to cook, clean and all of the typical wife things, doesn't mean he forced me to do it first. I just love to do all of those things because well, we have to eat and we like a clean house, and I love him so much.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Jul 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl: He loves to cook and will clean any day of the week. He takes care of me when I don't feel well, and always puts me and my feeligs first.
That is what a loving husband is suppose to do. That doesnt make him special. What would make him special was if 1 day YOU desidede that y no longer wanna wear hijab and he accepted it and loved y the same as with hijab. Thats true respect, love and equality.
Posts: 1325 | From: For tooti http://www.csa.gov.uk/ | Registered: May 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl: [qb] Foul mouth? Which profanity did I use??? None. And I don't have a holier than thou attitude.
Your first post on this forum was talking about Muslim men and respect, and clearly showed that you look down on any woman who does not think obedience to her husband is a requirement. And you suggested that men who don't like to control their wifes are *doormats*, not real men.
You, of course, are different, you and your husband are dedicated, pious Muslims. If that's not a holier-than-thou attitude, I don't know what it is.
As for your foul mouth ... the second post of yours I came across was this one:
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl: You sound like an islamaphobe or at least a man-hater. Or maybe you just hate muslim men.
Don't talk about people or things you have no knowledge or proof about........makes you look STUPID and CRAZY.
Nice Islamic behaviour you're displaying there. But, hey, as long as you keep wearing your hijab and obeying your husband you'll keep collecting enough hassanat in order to make up for it.
quote:Originally posted by MENAgirl:
Non-muslim women and non-higabis always insult us higabis for being controlled by our husbands and having unhappy lives.
That is an untrue and paranoid statement. I am starting to wonder if you're for real ... your statements are so stereotypical and exaggerated, it's hard for me to imagine that someone might actually be thinking that way.
The words man-hater and islamaphobe are not foul-mouthed or profane in anyway at all. Everyone who knows me knows I don't use profanity.
And I NEVER said that any man who doesn't like to control their wife is a doormat, you totally twisted my words. I do believe that western men tend to take more disrespect from women that arab muslim men do.
You inferred that western men who do not control their wives are doormats, unlike Arab men who do like to control their wives and are 'real men'
quote:And my statement about non-muslim women and non-higabis giving higabis a hard time about being controlled by our husbands is not paranoid, it is a fact in post after post in many mixed forums. I could care less what they think or say about me, so I'm I don't need to feel paranoid.
Thats odd because I, as a recently non-hijabi, feel that this statement of yours:
"but the if the husband is a serious Muslim and a normal arab guy, then he will of course object to her taking it off as disrespect to Islam and to him........and arab husbands generally don't tolerate disrespect from their wives...ever. They are not doormats like a lot of western guys."
is a definate dig.
My husband IS a serious muslim, he is also Egyptian, I am muslim and was before I met him. The same as you my husband wanted a Muslim wife but he didnt want one to control or have 'obey' him.
quote:And I am not exaggerated or stereotypical at all in the muslim world. In the western world, yes, but not in the muslim world.
Look, my husband and I are practicing muslims, yes, I wear higab, yes, but we are a normal, nece couple in love and we love doing things for each other. He does just as much for me, much more acutally, as I do for him, we are equal in so many ways. He loves to cook and will clean any day of the week. He takes care of me when I don't feel well, and always puts me and my feeligs first.
Just because I love to cook, clean and all of the typical wife things, doesn't mean he forced me to do it first. I just love to do all of those things because well, we have to eat and we like a clean house, and I love him so much.
We have the same relationship. We love and look after each other but he would never order me to do anything and I never felt I had to obey him. We have an equal relationship and he is very much a man and I am very much a woman. I dont feel the need to look down on anyone to make me feel superior either, whether they wear hijab or are not following the same faith as me.
I am happy that your relationship works for you, but mine works for me AND my husband as other people here relationships work for them, whether they have tattoos take drugs or drink is not my, or your, concern and not your duty to judge them either.
I accept that as an American your arrogance is inbred and as an American Muslim you feel superior to us lesser westerners, but as there are other Americans on this board who have managed to put that part of their herritage aside and not judge or interact with arrogance I suggest you take a leaf from their book.
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
) I converted 2 years BEFORE I met my husband so I was wearing hijab when we met. ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic