posted
Ok. No personal experiences here, but i had a long discussion the other night with a very good friend who is male, Egyptian, pretty smart and well travelled. Over the years, he's formed the opinion that one reason many Euro/Egy relationships fall apart [I'm not talking about USA as he's never been there] is because women from Europe, when they fall for a guy, behave very much like Egyptian men do. They are deeply affectionate, romantic, and to an Egyptian, wildly exciting. Egyptian girls on the other hand are very reserved, even years into a relationship, they are likely to behave pretty coyly [Yeah, probably womanly wiles, who knows?]and insist on being continuously 'wooed' for her favours.
Anyway, with a foreign woman, after a period of months or years, the ardour dies off a bit and quite a few Egyptians can't deal with this 'so whattish' attitude; [compared to the passion at the start] they feel rejected a bit. They don't want a best mate, they want a "WOMAN". best mates are MEN. Culture stuff. He wasn't suggesting that 'our' way is wrong, nor that foreign ladies 'let themselves go', just that Egyptian men are a bit insecure unless they're reminded occasionally [or often actually!] that 'he's your MAN'. And the steady decline of all that early passion is a troubling experience apparently.
I know from experience that women from my culture ARE like this, it's accepted, it doesn't reflect on the strength of the relationship, it's just how we are. We generally have other interests, careers, friends etc, and are also a lot more culturally independent, and both sexes accept that the heat dies off a bit over time.
Don't any of you girls start thinking you need to modify your behaviour, [or start jumping on the bed dressed as a belly dancer to massage his ego after 5 years of marriage] but maybe my friend has a point.
Oooh I'm almost tempted to go find myself a man and test the theory. ... or maybe not....
Posts: 1399 | From: alexandria | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
As a generality I think a lot of men miss the romance of early marriage/relationship. That is a man/woman thing as well, men want romance and sexy and women want a relationship and companionship. Both sides have to compromise and met each others needs.
I do agree men in Egypt are a bit insecure but maybe that is the result of living in a police state. Domestic tyrants probably also come about for the same reason. Having little control in your life day to day at least at home you can be the boss.
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
I was with my old man for over 25 years, and when things got a bit stale, we'd sometimes go separately to a bar or club, and he'd come in and 'pick me up' [his idea. hilarious. Once he almost got attacked by a stranger who'd been planning to offer me a drink!] And then we'd go home together .... for a cup of coffee and a Hobnob. Hmmm Englishmen, great romantics. Miss him.
Posts: 1399 | From: alexandria | Registered: Jan 2002
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-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
I think that men and women also have different expectations towards each other especially as the relationship develops. After kids the woman demands more I think, wants a provider and protector and not necessarily a lover. Men just want the woman they marry. Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
I think that stereotyping Egyptian women to be 'reserved' is a wildly incorrect statement.
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by anthropos: I think that men and women also have different expectations towards each other especially as the relationship develops. After kids the woman demands more I think, wants a provider and protector and not necessarily a lover. Men just want the woman they marry.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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