posted
I chatted with my now ex-husband for three years online before we met. I wanted to come visit him in Egypt earlier but he said I couldn't because we were not married, and at that time Americans could not get the free to marry form. Eventually. I agreed to marry him and we married in Egypt. He paid for everything i.e wedding reception, wedding rings, apartment in Maadi, etc.
After we married, we was in the living room and I was talking with one of his family membera, and then I heard my husband say to his mother, I'm going to America while dancing. I was saying to myself not through me u won't. I knew at that time my marriage was over. I stayed in Egypt four months and returned home. When I returned home, after a month I told him that I couldn't sponsor him to come to America because I didn't make enough money. So a year later he divorced me because I was not willing to live in Egypt with him and he said he needed someone to take care of him. Yes. I was nice to him after the divorce because I wanted a copy of the divorce and I did achieve that.
He was saying he was looking for a wife and I told him I wish him the best. Would u believe he said he divorced me because he didn't want to cheat on me and get another wife because he needed someone and I wasn't there. Of course I didn't believe that, and told him he was so thoughtful. I knew he divorced me because he knew no Egyptian woman wanted to be a second wife.
After he found someone that he wanted to marry, he asked me would I be his second wife. I said of course because I love u. I asked him will it be a secret marriage and he said yes until I live there. I told him that is just want I wanted to hear. So I said the next time I'm in Egypt we will have an Orif. He said no an Islamic marriage. I said ok. I've changed my number and e-mail address. I got the divorce papers I needed and very happy.
Posts: 7 | From: America | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
Mabruk! Well done you! He is obviously not bright enough to know that as second wife you will not be able to take him to America to live and leave his Egy wife anyway. Poor man
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Sweet and Sour: I knew he divorced me because he knew no Egyptian woman wanted to be a second wife.
Not necessarily. They'll gladly be the second wife if their husband is living in The Land of Milk and Honey, sending money home on a regular basis and visiting once a year for a month.
Now, if she had to be a second wife and the American (or British, or Australian, or whatever) wife who lives in Egypt? Not so much.
That said, good for you.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
You did the right thing- however one question, if you weren't willing to live in Egypt, nor were you going to sponsor him to come to America, and the start of your relationship what exactly was your long term plan?
-------------------- Another one.... Posts: 2573 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
I don't get it. I mean, if he was a sneaky little toad who just wanted you for a visa, then fair enough. But you say he divorced you because you wouldn't live in Egypt with him. Did he insist on coming to America with you? I see he was excited at the idea, but I don't see that as a crime - not in itself. He bought the apartment for you both to live in, right? I think if my husband left me, said I couldn't follow him to his home country, but made no effort to return to mine - I'd want out after a year on my own. Isn't the whole point of being married based on a mutual understanding that the two of you want to build a life together, i.e. on the same continent? That doesn't put him at the top of the poll of liars cheats and ba$tards, not in my book, anyway. Though the second wife bit is clearly twaddle and I'd tell him to get knotted on that.
But do you mean you had a three year relationship online and only met when you went there to marry him?
If he married a muslim then had officially remarried you afterwards, unless you're a muslim too, wouldn't that null the first marriage? Isn't there also a rule in Islam that if you divorce, the wife has to marry another and divorce before you can get married again? Funny game he's playing there. Why would he insist on an Islamic ceremony? The US embassy still wouldn't recognise it. Either he genuinely doesn't want to let you go, or, if he is after a green card, he just aint that bright Posts: 1678 | From: New Egypt Forum - http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
My plan was to sponsor him to come to America, but after he was bragging to his mom he was coming to America, his mom showing me clothes asking can she wear it in America, and his mom telling me when her son finishes secondary school he will live there, but the killer part was when my ex said that I had to support him the entire time he was in America hell no.
Yes he wanted to come to America. He didn't want to make a life in Egypt, but when I said I couldn't sponsor him he changed his tune. Why would I live in Egypt with me knowing I can't depend on him working long-term.
As far as the apartment, he rented it for a year.
Yes, I married him after talking with him three years online.
"If he married a muslim then had officially remarried you afterwards, unless you're a muslim too, wouldn't that null the first marriage?"
I am not Muslim but Christian. We are already divorce. If I did become a second wife it would be legal only in countries that allow polygamy. The muslim wife marriage will be legal. I would be legally married in Egypt but not America.
"Isn't there also a rule in Islam that if you divorce, the wife has to marry another and divorce before you can get married again?"
To my knowledge that happens after you divorce your wife three times (if I'm incorrect someone please clarify.)
"Why would he insist on an Islamic ceremony?"
Because it would be legal in countries that accept Polygamy and that is what he wants for his family and friends to accept me as a second wife.
Posts: 7 | From: America | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
I would like to suggest that maybe most of these online romances would work out better if there was a kind of 'virtual marriage' instead of a real one. The virtual wedding could be lovely, [your avatar, young beautiful etc... sailing around the dance floor with the handsome groom] Subsequemt life together could be perfect. You could have virtual kids [at 60!] and be virtual millionaires. I am serious, think it's coming.
Reality bites.
I am with weirdkitty on this, what exactly was the real life plan, if any?
Posts: 1399 | From: alexandria | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
One more time, if he married a non-muslim (i.e. you), I'm sure that would null his marriage to the muslim wife (i.e. her), but meh - whatever. What he was allegedly proposing is completely nonsensical from a getting a visa point of view, anyhow.
quote:Originally posted by Mo Ning Min E: I would like to suggest that maybe most of these online romances would work out better if there was a kind of 'virtual marriage' instead of a real one.
Genius. Sheer genius. The guys could get their virtual visas, send virtual money home to their virtual families and second, third and fourth virtual wives. They could be virtual gigalos and good for nothing virtual lay abouts. The woman has all the virtual drama to get all the virtual attention she needs in her virtual life, but when it all gets too much she could go off and have a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake. It's like the relationship equivalent of Grand Theft Auto. Brilliant.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with meeting folks online, but isn't everyone else super, super wary - and that's with guys from YOUR OWN COUNTRY? Meet up with them, with due dilligence. Go on a date with them, even. Get to know them in the real world - by all means. Get to know them as well as you possibly can - it'll never be 100% - but if there are no blazing red flags and you're happy with everything you see, hey, why not? Don't marry them til you've done that, FFS.
Sorry if my opinion goes against the grain, but I have quite a bit of respect for the sanctity of marriage. I'm not going to pat you on the back for getting a divorce - not that there's anything wrong with divorcing an arse. But here, the smartest thing would have been to not marry him in the first place. And even that ain't rocket science, honey.
Best case scenario - it was going to be a marriage of convenience. Worst case - I dread to think. Could have worked out a lot worse.
I will add that part of the reason I'm so pi$$y about this is it's exactly these kind of tales that make life sooooo bloody difficult for the rest of us. Egyptian men have a government health warning stamped through them like a stick of rock so far as the West is concerned. Yes, there are some real slugs out there. Yes, some women take all the sensible precautions and still get conned, or worse. But I would compare this case to when my 12 year old cousin stuck a fork in a live electricity socket to "see what would happen" Posts: 1678 | From: New Egypt Forum - http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
Having reread this whole thread, i'm on the side of the husband. Ok, maybe he is a bit dumb. Probably dumb to marry a bozo who no doubt during the online courtship talked about getting him into the US, who after the wedding decides 'oh no. You can't come to America, and I don't want to live here!' Whaaaat? I simply do not believe the bit about he wanted her to support him in the US. Sounds like B/S. Think the realiity of Egypt made this woman decide she would just like to make frequent trips here, free holidays, and without any hassle getting laid. Decided she wanted a divorce because the family were excited about him going to America? I really DO think egyptian guys get a raw deal on here. Still can't figure what he did wrong. Posts: 1399 | From: alexandria | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Why do you have to throw insults Mo Ning Ho. I don't give a fvck what u believe. You must be dumb as s*** to think a Muslim man or any man would not ever say they want a woman to support them regardless of their location.
Where did I state that the family was excited about him coming to America? It's so evident that you are not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The reality is you have a problem with reading comprehesion and u have the nerve to call someone a bonzo. You assume too much which makes u an ass.
In addition, I never said all Egyptian men or indicated the like. Anyone who has an ounce of common sense knows u can't paint everyone with the same brush.
In reference to getting laid, I don't have to go to Egypt for that. I can fvck without getting stuck in America.
He's been divorced three times. I guess there was some truth to my so called bullsh*t.
Posts: 7 | From: America | Registered: Aug 2010
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quote:Originally posted by Mo Ning Min E: I would like to suggest that maybe most of these online romances would work out better if there was a kind of 'virtual marriage' instead of a real one. The virtual wedding could be lovely, [your avatar, young beautiful etc... sailing around the dance floor with the handsome groom] Subsequemt life together could be perfect. You could have virtual kids [at 60!] and be virtual millionaires. I am serious, think it's coming.
Thanks for making my day!!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
"Where did I state that the family was excited about him coming to America?" then I heard my husband say to his mother, I'm going to America while dancing. I was saying to myself not through me u won't. I knew at that time my marriage was over. ..his mom showing me clothes asking can she wear it in America,
I absolutely stand by what i wrote. Actually, i called you a B-O-Z-O not a bonzo [?] that's a dog's name isn't it?
posted
It's official you have a comprehension problem and I will not waste my time on an ignorant ass bitch. So say what u like, and make sure your looking in a mirror when saying it.
Posts: 7 | From: America | Registered: Aug 2010
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quote:Originally posted by Mo Ning Min E: Actually, i called you a B-O-Z-O not a bonzo [?] that's a dog's name isn't it?
Isn't it a character out of the muppets? The blue one with the big nose?
Posts: 1678 | From: New Egypt Forum - http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Dec 2009
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quote:Originally posted by Sweet and Sour: Where did I state that the family was excited about him coming to America?
Where you said he danced a jig and his ma was planning her US wardrobe and where whoever it was (and I sincerely hope I misread that bit and you didn't mean your ex husband) was going to live when he finished secondary school.
I wouldn't be hurling the insults around willy nilly when you've just stated that not only did you marry a literal (as opposed to a virtual) stranger after corresponding with them online, but did so knowing that you would be not wifey number one. Not wifey number two. Or three. But wifey number fricking 4! If you met a guy from the US who'd been married three times already, wouldn't this raise a teensie red flag?
Do you have a bull$hitometer? I think it's due for a service.
Posts: 1678 | From: New Egypt Forum - http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
Another one with a comprehension problem. This was between the Ho and I but I see your monkeyass had to get involved. Go get your bananas and **** yourself. You've been dismissed also bitch.
Posts: 7 | From: America | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
I wonder if she talked this way on the 'find a husband website'? Maybe that's why he divorced her, I certainly would! [If i was a man etc.] I don't like to be unkind, but sounds like a lowlife. I could be wrong, maybe she's a currency analyst on Wall street, or a famous expert on Rennaisance poetry, but ...
Posts: 1399 | From: alexandria | Registered: Jan 2002
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So she's a ho. I'm a bitch. Well I was going to ask you to marry me, but if you're going to be like that
I'd like to say, for the benefit of the tape, I don't buy any of it. The story changes like the wind and the remarrying bit, from a logical point of view, just doesn't make any sense. There are more holes than Blackburn, Lancashire. What's that little creature in Billy Goats Gruff? The one down by the bridge... Ah, I forget now. Darn it.
Having said that...
If this story is true, then please forgive me, but I stand by everything I said. Not that I'm defending the honour of Egyptian men, or the integrity of Western women (which this seriously calls into question). But for the basic fact you need a good shake for putting yourself in such a dubious, nay, DANGEROUS, position in the first place. Have you not heard the horror stories? There are whackos the world over - you don't need to go to Egypt. What about that loonie in Germany who kept his daughter locked up in a basement for eighteen years? How many date rapes take place in the US annually? If it's anything like here, a fair few. Good job you aren't from Eastern Europe where women get taken on holiday by their real life, flesh and blood boyfriends, only to find themselves sold into the sex trade. I'm all for living on the edge from time to time, but this is just off the chart. If this really is all true, I'm truly happy for you. If he had been a really wrong 'un, it could have been somewhat more unpleasant.
Posts: 1678 | From: New Egypt Forum - http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
Oh my - after my break with the long weekend -and me becoming a grannie for the first time -and finding out that my husbands mother is just a mere three years younger than myself - i now find i have an email from the migration facility asking me for a few hundred dollars and all the information on my husband and if i want to sponsor him whole heartadly -will he do a runner , will he work his butt off , will he pay me board and lodgings for his keep and pay back the 10000000 Le he cadged off me whilst i was paying fares to and fro to Egypt and renting flats and paying his phone cards and restaurant expenses oooooooooooohhh my i am not alone.........
-------------------- tilly "I can make you feel good" -shalamar Women dont have hot flushes they just have power surges" Posts: 131 | From: uk | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
oh by the way the true bit is me becoming a grannie - preferably a nana for the first time.yeeeeehaaa
-------------------- tilly "I can make you feel good" -shalamar Women dont have hot flushes they just have power surges" Posts: 131 | From: uk | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
thankyou ...so much -sorry slightly off topic - my DH said it had come tooo early for me - as im so young in his eyes..
-------------------- tilly "I can make you feel good" -shalamar Women dont have hot flushes they just have power surges" Posts: 131 | From: uk | Registered: Apr 2009
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-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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"If he married a muslim then had officially remarried you afterwards, unless you're a muslim too, wouldn't that null the first marriage?"
No it wouldnt but he couldnt marry her in the MOJ if he had another wife as US does not accept polygamous marriage.
quote:I am not Muslim but Christian. We are already divorce. If I did become a second wife it would be legal only in countries that allow polygamy. The muslim wife marriage will be legal. I would be legally married in Egypt but not America.
correct
quote:"Isn't there also a rule in Islam that if you divorce, the wife has to marry another and divorce before you can get married again?"
To my knowledge that happens after you divorce your wife three times (if I'm incorrect someone please clarify.)
a muslim divorce is not straight forward as in there are supposed to be 3 'stages' with each giving a time for reconciliation or cooling off. it is not a case of marrying you and divorcing you 3 times. If the final divorce has been reached, he cannot marry you unless you have married another man between divorcing this one and remarrying him.
Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by madderthanamonkey: But I would compare this case to when my 12 year old cousin stuck a fork in a live electricity socket to "see what would happen"
*wipes spit and snot off screen*
ROFLMAO sorry shouldn't laugh
Just made me think of when my daughter was about 6 or 7 and asked if she drank vinegar would she die, she got a reply of 'yes!' then she was caught drinking it just to see if she would Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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I thought you were talking on that you screwed over a conman but as the story has emerged you are just bitter he screwed you over.
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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posted
They'll gladly be the second wife if their husband is living in The Land of Milk and Honey, sending money home on a regular basis and visiting once a year for a month. I see he was excited at the idea, but I don't see that as a crime - not in itself.
posted
Where is the equality here with the marriages??? treat each wife as equal? so if he goes back for sex once a year to the 2nd wife - for a month -thats 28 or so days -does that mean the first wife has 28 days of sex for the remainder 11 months ???
-------------------- tilly "I can make you feel good" -shalamar Women dont have hot flushes they just have power surges" Posts: 131 | From: uk | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
no equality in a relationship like dat and its forbidden in islam,and men who make a relationship like that will be asked infront of God for misstreating their wife.
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