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daisy29
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if anyone can give me advise i would be more than grateful,im a woman now alone here in egypt with no family and not even 1 friend now,total isolation,24,7 alone,afraid.
i can not at this time tell my whole story,too shocked and afraid of the situation i find myself in,but i will try and write a little to get the help i need,i married an egyptian man after knowing him as a friend for more than 2 years,but i still lived in britain,never wanted to live in egypt,but wanted to be with my husband,he begged me,cried.said couldnt live without me with him,so i moved to egypt,already married with orfi paper,he said he wanted to marry at ministry of justice, cairo so we did, and been married 5 years now,and living in egypt always led a solitary life here only found 2 british friends who have now moved away,but i had the man i loved my husband,gave up everything in britain for him and me to be together,now he tells me he want divorce,after iam so shocked and ask him why what have i done wrong,he said wrong he married me,his family presuure him every day to marry egyptian woman and go live with his family in their home.says he still loves me so much but this he must do.so hes leaving,just like that,i have nobody here not even to help me if i become ill or need help for anything,totally alone and he knows this ,how can he have turned so cold an uncaring especially knowing i only left my country and all behind me for him,i have nowhere,nothing and no family to go back to britain now,only family i had left there have since died.i know i must try and be strong but dont know where to go or what to do,and now he is divorcing me i need to know because we were married at ministry of justice in caioro and then we had papers
registered at british embassy so it would be legaly recognised in britain,what do i have to do after he divorces me here in egypt to get it recognised in britain that we are legally divorced.dont want him to be able to come back to me and demand things from me by saying we are still legally married under british law,if i can get back to britain when i find the strenght to even think straight, although god knows where i will go if ican get back there,and if i do i dont want to die there legally being his wife under british law and the little money and possesions i have going to him and his new wife and family,i would rather give all that i will have left to the poor or some worthy cause, not for it to go to someone who has hurtme and destroyed my life,so if anyone out there can help about the legal question,it will be 1 less thing weighing me down thankyou

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Penny
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Sad story daisy29

You need to get yourself a lawyer fast

http://ukinegypt.fco.gov.uk/en/help-for-british-nationals/when-things-go-wrong/you-need-a-lawyer/

The law though is the man cannot touch anything that is his wife's property.

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Cheekyferret
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Also Daisy, are you registered personally with the Embassy? Not the marriage but you, your passport etc?

The Embassy will offer you advice and assistance too if you can tell them that you cannot return to the UK even if you wanted to as you have nothing to go back to.

If you stay here on this site long enough you will also befriend many westerners with experiences with Egyptian men and a few of us live here so we totally understand your stance.

This is a very sad story.

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daisy29
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thankyou so much to the 2 replies so far,dont think im personally registered with the embassy just at the time of submitting our marriage papers.still trying to come to terms how this could all come about it only happened yesterday,and befor anybody asks were we just friends over the internet for 2 years the answer is no,i came here many times and was friends with him and all his family,thought i knew him well,before i married him,what reason would he beg me to come live in egypt with him be married 5 years and then do this? and no i am not an elderley rich lady, and no he has never asked anything about a visa to britain,and no he is not a young boy.still says he could neverfind an egyptian wife as good a wife as me,for my behaviour attitude and respect,so how can he not only can he just walk away but so coldy as if we have never meant anything to each other
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Laura
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If you are anywhere in the Alex area, I have a big shoulder to cry on if you need it.
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Cheekyferret
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http://www.fco.gov.uk/en/travel-and-living-abroad/when-things-go-wrong/

They can advise you what to do, they can advise you on your stance and can help you find assistance. I would also imagine they can offer advice regarding re-integration into the UK.

You could also look at the FMU links, the Forced Marriage Unit. I know for you this is not strictly the case but I am sure they will have some sound advice for your next step.

1682 people went through the unit last year alone.

They are highly trained with culturla issues.

You aren't alone. Seriously, run some Google searches relating to the Embassy and they will ensure you are not left to suffer.

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Penny
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Daisy where are you living?
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daisy29
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im living in luxor
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stayingput
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im too sorry
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Monkey
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I'm in the UK. If there's anything I can do for you, pm me.

I'm so sorry.

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marydot
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I'm in the uk if you need anything just PM me.

--------------------
http://www.youtube.com/user/marydotapple

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Momma_Dukez
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you need to threaten him.
you need to get mean.

these men are easy to shake, believe me.

get in his face and tell him, okay f*cker, im gonna go to the embassy and let them know what u are doing and let them throw you in jail.
then take a knife, slash all of his tires.

buy some drugs and put it in his belongings and call the police.

seriously, you chicks are too soft.

if i were you, id go right to his familys house and let them hear it.

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sandy_usa
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Hi Daisy I read your story the other day and I was so hurt for you I hesitated to say anything as we should think before we speak.There are some nice ladies who have offerd to help you God bless them for this.You are not weak because you have a heart or because you love your husband.Ive been there maybe not in exactly the same circumstance but I know what it feels like to be in a desert feeling hopeless.I am a better and stronger woman than before but it took time. Keep us posted Daisy we really do care.
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shalamar
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Im sorry Daisy -i hope you find some friends to give you a little support -im in Luxor December - keep in touch.
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Mahjan
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Hi Daisy,
I've pm'd you. I'm there on Monday if I can help you.
Please respond with a post people are worried x

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daisy29
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Thankyou so so much to everyone for their replies and the private messages i have been very touched by your words and to know that even a stranger can care about me and how i feel.now i feel my fear is not so strong a feeling now, but it is being replaced with anger,but of course still the pain of loosing someone never knew it was possible to cry for days on end before this,but im hoping the anger i am feeling now is a natural progression towards strength within myself.i find iam not strong enough yet to decide what i must do or where i must go,as of now i find i can trust no one here.and will have to do what i must do alone,maybe over the coming days or weeks i will feel differently to this and maybe will trust someone enough to ask for help. once again i thankyou all for your kind words and support it has meant more to me than you could ever know,i will write again on here when i seem to have made a decision or some progress to let you all know. to the person who sent the pm, no i do not have any family in the u.k at all now. thankyou eveyone x
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Healingheart
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Hello Daisy
I am so sorry to hear your heart breaking story, I wish you lots of strength and courage.
I can advise a little on the legal situation as I am going through an ordeal with my soon to be ex Egyptian husband. We also got married at the ministry of justice & as soon as I had put my signature on the marriage contract he started showing his real colors. I will spare you the details as it involves domestic violence but as I am going through divorce proceedings at this point in time, I know that it is pretty easy for your husband to obtain a divorce, however it must be done through the courts in Egypt in order for it to be valid and recognized internationally. He has to file a law suit with the family courts in Egypt, anything else won't be recognized in the UK. For your own safety and piece of mind, please register with the British Embassy as soon as you can. Then explain your situation to them and see if they can offer any practical advice. You also need sound legal advice from a solicitor. If you wish, I can send you the contact details of my solicitor in Egypt, he is good and has a track record of helping foreign women in similar situations. In Egypt your husband is not entitled to your money or any other assets you may have (in the UK that would be a very different outcome), whatever you brought into the marriage remains yours after the divorce. Don't involve his family, families in Upper Egypt stick together like glue and sons obey their families. I've also learned this the hard way.
From my own experience I know it is practically impossible to make any sort of decision when you are going through such an ordeal, but you need to get the information and advice in place as soon as you can. Please let me know if I can be of any help to you. I know you are going through hard times especially being in a foreign country not knowing whom to trust. It's a very lonely place to be, I've been there. Thinking of you and sending you strength and determination.

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quote:
Originally posted by daisy29:
if anyone can give me advise i would be more than grateful,im a woman now alone here in egypt with no family and not even 1 friend now,total isolation,24,7 alone,afraid.
i can not at this time tell my whole story,too shocked and afraid of the situation i find myself in,but i will try and write a little to get the help i need,i married an egyptian man after knowing him as a friend for more than 2 years,but i still lived in britain,never wanted to live in egypt,but wanted to be with my husband,he begged me,cried.said couldnt live without me with him,so i moved to egypt,already married with orfi paper,he said he wanted to marry at ministry of justice, cairo so we did, and been married 5 years now,and living in egypt always led a solitary life here only found 2 british friends who have now moved away,but i had the man i loved my husband,gave up everything in britain for him and me to be together,now he tells me he want divorce,after iam so shocked and ask him why what have i done wrong,he said wrong he married me,his family presuure him every day to marry egyptian woman and go live with his family in their home.says he still loves me so much but this he must do.so hes leaving,just like that,i have nobody here not even to help me if i become ill or need help for anything,totally alone and he knows this ,how can he have turned so cold an uncaring especially knowing i only left my country and all behind me for him,i have nowhere,nothing and no family to go back to britain now,only family i had left there have since died.i know i must try and be strong but dont know where to go or what to do,and now he is divorcing me i need to know because we were married at ministry of justice in caioro and then we had papers
registered at british embassy so it would be legaly recognised in britain,what do i have to do after he divorces me here in egypt to get it recognised in britain that we are legally divorced.dont want him to be able to come back to me and demand things from me by saying we are still legally married under british law,if i can get back to britain when i find the strenght to even think straight, although god knows where i will go if ican get back there,and if i do i dont want to die there legally being his wife under british law and the little money and possesions i have going to him and his new wife and family,i would rather give all that i will have left to the poor or some worthy cause, not for it to go to someone who has hurtme and destroyed my life,so if anyone out there can help about the legal question,it will be 1 less thing weighing me down thankyou

"how can he have turned so cold an uncaring especially knowing i only left my country and all behind me for him,i have nowhere,nothing and no family to go back to britain now"

Classic example of a foreign woman giving up everything to be with her Egyptian.

I hope you do realize that you can't blame him entirely about the situation you are currently in.

And yes Egyptian families put a lot on pressure on their sons to marry a good and respectful local woman.

You do sound older especially since you mentioned that all family members have died back in Britain.

Let me ask you something: Did he suck the money out of you for the last five years too???

Sad story yes and there are many more out like that.

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Mrs Hassan
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quote:
Originally posted by Healingheart:
Hello Daisy
I am so sorry to hear your heart breaking story, I wish you lots of strength and courage.
I can advise a little on the legal situation as I am going through an ordeal with my soon to be ex Egyptian husband. We also got married at the ministry of justice & as soon as I had put my signature on the marriage contract he started showing his real colors. I will spare you the details as it involves domestic violence but as I am going through divorce proceedings at this point in time, I know that it is pretty easy for your husband to obtain a divorce, however it must be done through the courts in Egypt in order for it to be valid and recognized internationally. He has to file a law suit with the family courts in Egypt, anything else won't be recognized in the UK. For your own safety and piece of mind, please register with the British Embassy as soon as you can. Then explain your situation to them and see if they can offer any practical advice. You also need sound legal advice from a solicitor. If you wish, I can send you the contact details of my solicitor in Egypt, he is good and has a track record of helping foreign women in similar situations. In Egypt your husband is not entitled to your money or any other assets you may have (in the UK that would be a very different outcome), whatever you brought into the marriage remains yours after the divorce. Don't involve his family, families in Upper Egypt stick together like glue and sons obey their families. I've also learned this the hard way.
From my own experience I know it is practically impossible to make any sort of decision when you are going through such an ordeal, but you need to get the information and advice in place as soon as you can. Please let me know if I can be of any help to you. I know you are going through hard times especially being in a foreign country not knowing whom to trust. It's a very lonely place to be, I've been there. Thinking of you and sending you strength and determination.

Whats done is done, you cannot change the clock back, time to move on.. Healingheart, very comforting post. No critisim, sound advice.
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daisy29
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REPLY TO MISS TIGERLILLY..you say i must realise my husband is not entirely to blame for the situation i am in,if by this comment you mean in some way i bought this about also im afraid i fail to see how. in reply to your assumtion(you do sound older as you mentioned you have no living family in uk now, my mother and father both died together 4 and a half years ago in a car accident while on holiday in wales they were both 54 years old they were both only children so no aunties uncles cousins etc,this then left just myself and my brother who died 18 months ago with a brain tumour at the age of 32 he was unmarried with no children. i am 29 i have no children despite having 7 misscariages at various stages of pregnancy, i am explaining these details to you (although of course really there is no need to) simply to show you that before you make comments based on your own assumptions ("you sound older as you mentioned you have no living family back in uk")you should refrain from commenting about a particular item,and if i was "older" what difference do you think that would make to someones situation? and in answer to your question to me no he did not "suck the money out of me for the last 5 years" as he knew from day one there was none to take and that was never an issue. may i once again thank all the other people who have showed consideration and kindness and their willingness to help which is after all why someone like myself posts on a forum such as this in the first place and not for unfounded critisim
thankyou

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Cheekyferret
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Oh my Daisy, you have been through an awful time... and certain people on here always jump to so many conclusions that if it were an olympic event we'd have the winner amongst us!

Mrs Hassan is 100% correct, what's done is done and you cannot change the clock back. And, on a positive note, you are still young and have the world at your feet.

I understand trying to be positive right now must seem like mission impossible but I assure you, once this ordeal is over I am sure you will be happy again.

I am not much older than you and I live in Egypt too, it is actually a great place to be young free and single.

If you are ever down Cairo way get in touch and we can go out and have some fun.

So sorry to hear about your family [Frown]

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marydot
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quote:
Originally posted by daisy29:
REPLY TO MISS TIGERLILLY..you say i must realise my husband is not entirely to blame for the situation i am in,if by this comment you mean in some way i bought this about also im afraid i fail to see how. in reply to your assumtion(you do sound older as you mentioned you have no living family in uk now, my mother and father both died together 4 and a half years ago in a car accident while on holiday in wales they were both 54 years old they were both only children so no aunties uncles cousins etc,this then left just myself and my brother who died 18 months ago with a brain tumour at the age of 32 he was unmarried with no children. i am 29 i have no children despite having 7 misscariages at various stages of pregnancy, i am explaining these details to you (although of course really there is no need to) simply to show you that before you make comments based on your own assumptions ("you sound older as you mentioned you have no living family back in uk")you should refrain from commenting about a particular item,and if i was "older" what difference do you think that would make to someones situation? and in answer to your question to me no he did not "suck the money out of me for the last 5 years" as he knew from day one there was none to take and that was never an issue. may i once again thank all the other people who have showed consideration and kindness and their willingness to help which is after all why someone like myself posts on a forum such as this in the first place and not for unfounded critisim
thankyou

This Tigerlilly woman thinks she knows everything but in fact she knows nothing. She is jeaslous of every female on here thats involved with an Egyptian,in fact it is believed she was dumped by an egyptian !!!
She thinks every woman that goes to Egypt is scammed but thats not always the case!! Maybe it happened to her who knows, may people here dont take any notice of her with her foolish talk and posts.

Good luck and PM if you need anything.

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Monkey
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quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Tigerlily:
Sad story yes and there are many more out like that.

I think it's a bit more than a sad story for daisy. This is her life you're talking about, not just a quick flick through the papers whilst on a coffee break. A bit of empathy wouldn't go a miss. Who kicks someone when they're down like that? Have a heart.
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Songlian
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Hi Daisy

I'm very sorry to hear about your losses and the ordeal you are going through.

You are so very vulnerable right now and you sound like a caring, giving person. Please try to find people you can trust to help you.

I wish you the best outcome.

Regards
Songlian

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leyte01
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Be strong, do not let anyone gets u down no matter what. Like some posters said get to the UK embassy and ask for guidance what to do. They may able to help you register with them at least. I am glad that some of the posters here are nice and willing to share of what you are going through Daisy

Is there a support group for foreign women in Luxor where women are going through a separation or divorce with their foreign Egyptian husband? Somebody ought to start a new one so they can help each other? Just a thought.....

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anthropos
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What about old friends back in the UK? I realize that perhaps you feel disconnected with them having been in Egypt for the last five years and you feel shy to call them to ask for help but I am sure that if you explain the matter to them in a sincere manner they will respond to your need. Please don't lose your faith in people. They will help you. Probably it is best for you to get back to the UK and start building a life there as Egypt isn't your country after all, even though I don't know how well you have been able to settle in there, and it also brings back too many bad memories. Stay strong.
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young at heart
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quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Tigerlily:
quote:
Originally posted by daisy29:
if anyone can give me advise i would be more than grateful,im a woman now alone here in egypt with no family and not even 1 friend now,total isolation,24,7 alone,afraid.
i can not at this time tell my whole story,too shocked and afraid of the situation i find myself in,but i will try and write a little to get the help i need,i married an egyptian man after knowing him as a friend for more than 2 years,but i still lived in britain,never wanted to live in egypt,but wanted to be with my husband,he begged me,cried.said couldnt live without me with him,so i moved to egypt,already married with orfi paper,he said he wanted to marry at ministry of justice, cairo so we did, and been married 5 years now,and living in egypt always led a solitary life here only found 2 british friends who have now moved away,but i had the man i loved my husband,gave up everything in britain for him and me to be together,now he tells me he want divorce,after iam so shocked and ask him why what have i done wrong,he said wrong he married me,his family presuure him every day to marry egyptian woman and go live with his family in their home.says he still loves me so much but this he must do.so hes leaving,just like that,i have nobody here not even to help me if i become ill or need help for anything,totally alone and he knows this ,how can he have turned so cold an uncaring especially knowing i only left my country and all behind me for him,i have nowhere,nothing and no family to go back to britain now,only family i had left there have since died.i know i must try and be strong but dont know where to go or what to do,and now he is divorcing me i need to know because we were married at ministry of justice in caioro and then we had papers
registered at british embassy so it would be legaly recognised in britain,what do i have to do after he divorces me here in egypt to get it recognised in britain that we are legally divorced.dont want him to be able to come back to me and demand things from me by saying we are still legally married under british law,if i can get back to britain when i find the strenght to even think straight, although god knows where i will go if ican get back there,and if i do i dont want to die there legally being his wife under british law and the little money and possesions i have going to him and his new wife and family,i would rather give all that i will have left to the poor or some worthy cause, not for it to go to someone who has hurtme and destroyed my life,so if anyone out there can help about the legal question,it will be 1 less thing weighing me down thankyou

"how can he have turned so cold an uncaring especially knowing i only left my country and all behind me for him,i have nowhere,nothing and no family to go back to britain now"

Classic example of a foreign woman giving up everything to be with her Egyptian.

I hope you do realize that you can't blame him entirely about the situation you are currently in.

And yes Egyptian families put a lot on pressure on their sons to marry a good and respectful local woman.

You do sound older especially since you mentioned that all family members have died back in Britain.

Let me ask you something: Did he suck the money out of you for the last five years too???

Sad story yes and there are many more out like that.

Good god do you have no compassion [Frown]
the poor girl is going through a tough time and needs support and constructive help and not made to feel that she is in the wrong [Confused]
Thankfully daisy you have had positive replies to your post and hopefully replies that will be of help to you. Wishing you all the best.

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If u need any help
i would be glad and help
i hope u take the positive side and always remember hard situations makes us stronger
wish u the best

--------------------
islam

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quote:
Originally posted by daisy29:
REPLY TO MISS TIGERLILLY..you say i must realise my husband is not entirely to blame for the situation i am in,if by this comment you mean in some way i bought this about also im afraid i fail to see how. in reply to your assumtion(you do sound older as you mentioned you have no living family in uk now, my mother and father both died together 4 and a half years ago in a car accident while on holiday in wales they were both 54 years old they were both only children so no aunties uncles cousins etc,this then left just myself and my brother who died 18 months ago with a brain tumour at the age of 32 he was unmarried with no children. i am 29 i have no children despite having 7 misscariages at various stages of pregnancy, i am explaining these details to you (although of course really there is no need to) simply to show you that before you make comments based on your own assumptions ("you sound older as you mentioned you have no living family back in uk")you should refrain from commenting about a particular item,and if i was "older" what difference do you think that would make to someones situation? and in answer to your question to me no he did not "suck the money out of me for the last 5 years" as he knew from day one there was none to take and that was never an issue. may i once again thank all the other people who have showed consideration and kindness and their willingness to help which is after all why someone like myself posts on a forum such as this in the first place and not for unfounded critisim
thankyou

Reply to daisy29:

Good that you seem to have found your groove back; you don't sound so alone and most of all desperate anymore. Now you need this anger you displayed towards my opinion - which you didn't like to hear - to get back on your feet and move on with your life. Yeah you made a mistake with this guy but life ain't over yet.

And wow you truly know how to wow a crowd, don't you???? When do you think your novel will make it to the bookshelves???

I am firmly believing that you got screwed over just like many other women before you by Egyptians. Take off your rose-tinted glasses and face the truth. Perhaps it will take some time for you to realize that.

And I say it again, don't ever give up everything back home for such a weasel. Think about a Plan B just in case.

I am long enough on this forum and read stories like you for soooooooooooo many times that it's tiring. I can't be compassionate about naive women. Many warnings are out there but they still believe their own relationship is different, their Egyptian man is honest in his intentions and it's a match made in heaven.

Wake up, girls, 1001 Nights doesn't exist!!!!!!

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quote:
Originally posted by madderthanamonkey:
quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Tigerlily:
Sad story yes and there are many more out like that.

I think it's a bit more than a sad story for daisy. This is her life you're talking about, not just a quick flick through the papers whilst on a coffee break. A bit of empathy wouldn't go a miss. Who kicks someone when they're down like that? Have a heart.
Hm let me see:

quote:
Originally posted by Penny:
Sad story

quote:
Originally posted by Cheekyferret:

This is a very sad story.

That's what one would call 'selective reading'.

I am not surprised that some women on here want to help her because they were in the same situation before.

Now I got it.

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Mimmi
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Tigerlily, what,s wrong with you?
You start to sound worse than Sono, who knows everything better than anyone and knows everybody better than they them sleves

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MTLEGY
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Man kind is in desperate need of a huge shift in consciousness.
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Mo Ning Min E
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Tigerlily, what,s wrong with you?
You start to sound worse than Sono, who knows everything better than anyone and knows everybody better than they them sleves


Took the words outa my mouth!

TL. Maybe I haven't read enough of your posts, but I never realised you were an unkind person.
Poor social skills to withold sympathy and a fair hearing to someone just because you think you've heard of it before.
If you got nothing to offer, leave the girl alone.
There are some situations where a bit of private cynicism is appropiate, but publicly kicking someone when they are down is tacky.

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Penny
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quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Tigerlily:
quote:
Originally posted by madderthanamonkey:
quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Tigerlily:
Sad story yes and there are many more out like that.

I think it's a bit more than a sad story for daisy. This is her life you're talking about, not just a quick flick through the papers whilst on a coffee break. A bit of empathy wouldn't go a miss. Who kicks someone when they're down like that? Have a heart.
Hm let me see:

quote:
Originally posted by Penny:
Sad story

quote:
Originally posted by Cheekyferret:

This is a very sad story.

That's what one would call 'selective reading'.

I am not surprised that some women on here want to help her because they were in the same situation before.

Now I got it.

I take it you are saying the posts you selected to quote have all been in the same situation [Roll Eyes] definitely Sonoitus has infected you.

If you can't offer the OP something constructive why not just keep quiet.

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anthropos
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I think something is bothering TL. Perhaps problems in her own marriage because I have always found her to be sympathetic and ready to offer advice and suggestions.
sure we have all read similar stories her on ES but we mustn't forget that behind every story is a real person. And the victim is never the perpetrator.
TL response reminds me of when people blame rape victims for being raped. "Oh they are so naive, so how come they wore such short skirts".

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Healingheart
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I have a question for TL - If you have read so many similar stories and these women have brought it on themselves (your words, not mine), then why do you bother to post here?

I suppose I am one of these women too... I married an Egyptian man who seemed caring and considerate before marriage. Right after the marriage ceremony he showed his true colors and it got very ugly. I discovered he has a major gambling addiction and compulsive lying and cheating are second nature to him. He embezzled money from his employer in Egypt (among many other misdeeds). Earlier this year I asked him for a divorce, he completely flipped and became sexually abusive. I reported marital rape to the police in the UK. A month after that, he stole my online identity and took thousands out of my bank account fraudulently. Again I reported this to the police and I am currently awaiting a decision from the prosecution. Did I make a mistake in trusting someone I loved? All I know is that it has taken a lot of strength and courage to overcome this. Thankfully I have not encountered any insensitive judgmental reactions like yours. I just don't get your point. What is wrong in trying to help someone, it is a lot more constructive than your contribution.

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Monkey
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quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Tigerlily:
quote:
Originally posted by madderthanamonkey:
quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Tigerlily:
Sad story yes and there are many more out like that.

I think it's a bit more than a sad story for daisy. This is her life you're talking about, not just a quick flick through the papers whilst on a coffee break. A bit of empathy wouldn't go a miss. Who kicks someone when they're down like that? Have a heart.
Hm let me see:

quote:
Originally posted by Penny:
Sad story

quote:
Originally posted by Cheekyferret:

This is a very sad story.

That's what one would call 'selective reading'.

I am not surprised that some women on here want to help her because they were in the same situation before.

Now I got it.

No, you're right. I wasn't very succinct. I quoted the wrong part, really. I think everyone here agrees it's sad. It was more the flippancy and fingerpointing I found pretty mean. I was shocked, to be honest. Maybe I have you mixed up with another member, but I don't remember you being so harsh.

I've never been in Daisy's situation. I can't even imagine what that feels like. But I can try. And when I try, I want to help her - what's wrong with that? If I had been in that position, is it really something I should be condemned for? You have to trust someone completely to marry them, I would hope. If they shatter that trust and let you down, is it all your own fault for trusting them in the first place? Should you never trust another human being again?

Egyptian, European, American, Australian, meh - it's all the same to me. People, men/women, husbands/wives, can let you down wherever they're from, in all manner of ways, even with the very best of intentions. You can try to analyse global divorce statistics if you want, whittle it down to the best odds of success, but by my reckoning, there's a 50/50 chance of it going belly up. Either it will or it won't. The only absolute in the never getting divorced stakes is never to get married in the first place. And there's nothing wrong with that - if you're happy on your own, more power to you. But how many people would relish the thought of living their entire life without a significant other. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

By all means, you have to take all possible steps to ensure that person is worthy of your trust in the first place. Be especially careful where there might be an added incentive to him getting together with you. But even if you had a private investigator following them around for a year and a cast iron assurance they were good as gold, you can never be 100% sure something won't switch later on. Even the smartest, most expensive PI out there - even Magnum - doesn't have a crystal ball.

You have to trust.

I hope Daisy will learn to trust again.

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daisy29
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Reply to MISS TIGERLILLY, I am not at all "angry with your reply to me" at all,i was merely pointing out you should not make comments based on your own assumtions of a situation.and if by saying "you really know how to wow a crowd dont you when do u think your novel will be on the bookshelves" you are inferring that i am lying or in some way exagerating my life circunstance,quite frankly i neither care or have any interest in what u belive or do not believe about my situation as i said before i am not angry with you or your reply quite the opposite i feel very sorry for you as your words show nothing but bitterness,and an above normal level of agression and spitefullness, i will not make asumtions as to why u feel such an anger within yourself, and that you feel it is pefectly acceptable for you to release this anger,aggresion,bitterness,and self loathing in comments made to myself and other members that have posted on this site,once again i feel sorry for you and for anything in your life that may have turned you into the uncaring person you appear to be. i am thankfull that no matter what hardship and heartache and blows i have had to take in my life so far and maybe yet to come and as unsure as i am about anything in my future i know this has and will continue to make me a more compasionate caring person and thank God will never make me a bitter a twisted person who takes enjoyment from other peoples sadness,and kicking them when they are down with negative comments. and may i suggest if you "are tired" of reading of the "naive womens storys" on this site that it would be better for you to no longer read or comment on any of our situations.
once again to all the other lovely caring compasionate people who have written to me thankyou once again i now know that amny people care about me as i do care about other people in sad or hard situations, and may i just note the only offensive comments i have received are from miss tigerlilly just this one,as i said befor it neither bothers me or upsets me now especially as i can see she is alone in her thinking thankyou once again everyone for your support daisyx

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marydot
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quote:
Originally posted by Mimmi:
Tigerlily, what,s wrong with you?
You start to sound worse than Sono, who knows everything better than anyone and knows everybody better than they them sleves

Great post well said.

There are many posters on ES that dont like this Tigerlilly, She is pure Evil!!! No ones likes her!!

She will get her day!

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marydot
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I have a question for TL - If you have read so many similar stories and these women have brought it on themselves (your words, not mine), then why do you bother to post here?

Alot of people are thinking this.why is she/he even bothering to post here, she/he is a waste of space.

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daisy29
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And may i just add in my reply to MISS TIGERLILLY. It would be preferable for miss tigerlilly to refrain from any further comments to me as they are serving no other purpose other than to make it quite clear to all that she has no interest in being supportive or even making educated comments on this site to myself or anyone else in a difficult situation
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Good luck daisy you will be fine in time. Just PM me if you need anything.

You can tell from the other posts on here that Tigerlilly is casting a stone that one day will hit her in her own face.She has nothing good to say about anybody on ES and many people support this but will not say it.I dont like her comments on here at all it gives me the creeps.But she's probably is the type of person that lacks intelligents, so no more said on this matter.she is a lier and a racist!!!

--------------------
http://www.youtube.com/user/marydotapple

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tina m
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i do not hate her she is my friend. she has her view on things cas she is a realist.just cas someone doesnt agree with tiger doesnt always make her a bad person....

--------------------
your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one.

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Mimmi
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quote:
Originally posted by tina kamal:
i do not hate her she is my friend. she has her view on things cas she is a realist.just cas someone doesnt agree with tiger doesnt always make her a bad person....

This time it is not a question of agreeing or not agreeing as she does not know Daisy or her situation at all.
So what she wrote made her a bit" bad person"
Everybody are entitled to their opinons but the opinions have to bee in a right context
And nobody is hating anybody here

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young at heart
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Ofcourse Tiger is entitled to her opinion after all this is a public forum but it is the way that she executes them that is the problem.
This is the love and marriage section and if someone finds themselves in a bad situation with an Egyptian then they are likely to look for some answers and they find ES and the love and marriage section and will look to see if there are any similar situations that they can associate with, like Daisy here has obviously done.We may have heard it all before (why does a Madonna song keep going around my head [Big Grin] ) but for Daisy it is a new and very real situation she is going through. She was looking for a bit of support and some practical advice, firstly she finds herself berated for her marriage situation then she has to give background information as to why she has no living relatives because Tiger as usual makes assumptions that she is older, then she is mocked with the 'novel' comment and accused of playing to the crowd which was confrontational and downright spiteful and completely unacceptable behaviour and the reason why people were shocked not because she had a different point of view!
There are 2 ways of dealing with this.
1. Ask the mods to remove the love and marriage section completely so no more 'tiresome posts' of peoples' sad or for that matter happy situations are posted.
2. Tiger just doesn't read them. Simple!
I hope to god that when her kids are grown up she doesn't decide to go into the counselling profession as the mind boggles [Eek!]

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Cheekyferret
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quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Tigerlily:
quote:
Originally posted by madderthanamonkey:
quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Tigerlily:
Sad story yes and there are many more out like that.

I think it's a bit more than a sad story for daisy. This is her life you're talking about, not just a quick flick through the papers whilst on a coffee break. A bit of empathy wouldn't go a miss. Who kicks someone when they're down like that? Have a heart.
Hm let me see:

quote:
Originally posted by Penny:
Sad story

quote:
Originally posted by Cheekyferret:

This is a very sad story.

That's what one would call 'selective reading'.

I am not surprised that some women on here want to help her because they were in the same situation before.

Now I got it.

Selective reading? The entire story was sad... pointless comment.

I have never been the same situation before. Pointless comment.

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sandy_usa
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quote:
Originally posted by tina kamal:
i do not hate her she is my friend. she has her view on things cas she is a realist.just cas someone doesnt agree with tiger doesnt always make her a bad person....


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sandy_usa
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I am sure as you say Tiger is a nice person I read her message and she has a right to her opinion,as we all do.The only thing is assuming things about another person when we dont know all the facts.Maybe if she had wrote a little diffrently and asked Daisy instead of saying this must be the case.Anyway I am so proud people have come to encourage Daisy she needs that now.Who knows maybe Daisy and Tiger will become the best of friends in the end.That would be nice.
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