posted
Last day, a European girl came to the company I work to have a job interview with my manager. I could listen at what she was saying as the interview was conducted just behind me. The girl presented herself in the very professional way and gave the impression to be a very nice and cheerful person. The interview went very well however they did not select her regardless her excellent work experience and her education. During the interview my manger has asked her why she decided to come to Egypt. She replied that she was not like other Europeans women who came to Egypt with the only idea of being with their Egyptian boy friend or husband, but that she wanted to learn more about the Egyptian culture in general. I do not know why but I did not believe her story. I contacted her as before leaving she kindly gave me her contact number, and discovered that in fact she met up with an Egyptian a couple of years ago but unfortunately the relation has to ended due to the age difference (she is 15 years older than her boy friend) and the difference of culture which they both could not handle. Despite all of these issues she still came to Cairo in the hope to find a job and settle down but has so far encountered many difficulties that she was not prepare to handle. Like the fact that her ex boy friend do not want to walk with her in the street because he is ashamed of what people may think, that really seems to have heard her a lot, and that her ex is now married to an other girl who is like he wanted: a veil and young Egyptian. What really surprised me is that dispide the fact that she cannot find any job, has not many fiends here, constantly complain that there are no any single advantage for a European to live in Egypt and will soon run out of money, she find the strength and the motivation to stay here, in the hope to find a suitable job, which will allow her to live for a while in Egypt. But what push all those women to leave everything behind them and come to a very different country into a very different culture? This question has been raised many time here but I would have never imagined how sad and desperate those woman are until I met her.
Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Perhaps she is ashamed to go home as a failure? I know when I came to Egypt there was that little voice in the back of my mind that things wouldn't work exactly how I wanted and I would look so stupid if I went home. Of course my situation is nothing like hers, but moving to a differnet culture entirely has its risks. I would imagine she is more afraid of going home than toughing it out here. Just a guess.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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I am wondering if she's having an excellent work resume why can't she find employment?
Please if you contact her again tell her to look for work in child care/schooling, she can work also and make extra money with giving private lessons until a better paying employment becomes available. What's her nationality btw?
And please tell her she needs to get over her too young ex; he's a married man and didn't accept the way she was. But there are plenty more older fish out in the sea!
Is she thinking about or did she already convert to Islam?
She needs to have a plan. At least when she will really run out of money she has to give up her dream of living in Egypt. Two thumbs up for her braveness of moving there all by herself.
My best regards to her. I hope things get better for her.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Ok, this is what I just cannot understand...the mom aged women and the son aged men. I met a woman in Egypt (late 30's) who met her husband online (believe it or not) and he is late 40's. They liked each other, met and married. They now live a very happy life in America and are doing well.
Question: do the older women not think there are older Egyptian men available and just the ones young enough to be their children?
I know at least this man in particular was married before and divorced, has grown children and was happy to marry a convert western woman and live the last part of his life in the states with her. They are in Egypt every year for at least 2-4 months at a time and it doesn't seem to bring the problems with it that a May-December romance would bring. He is not very well off financially but not desperate for cash and doesn't use her at all or feel the need to send money home.
So the age issue must be especially intriguing to the women who make these matches, right? Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Did she make a sad and desperate impression to you? That possibly could be a reason why she couldn`t get a job. Maybe she has a goal in mind, and enough perseverance to do all what`s possible to reach that goal. We don`t know. If you want to know, why not just ask her?
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I asked my manager why she did not get the job and the answer was due to her age. She is in her early 40 and is overqualified for the position she applied.
she gave the impression to be a very happy person until she answered to the question why did you come to Egyp? sorry but it was obvious that she was not telling the thruth because I like Egyptian culture? humm can you be more specified what do you like about the culture?
Tigerlily I think is an execllent idea to advise her to find a job in child care/schooling, she may have a better chance and from what it says in her resume she already has been a teacher before
Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
I met a woman in Egypt (late 30's) who met her husband online (believe it or not) and he is late 40's. They liked each other, met and married. They now live a very happy life in America and are doing well.
I have recently met a couple with exactly the same age difference as the one you know. The woman is late 30 and the man is late 40 and they have been happily married for 5 years now and live in Egypt. I have noticed that mixed couple work better when the tow of them are already divorce, is much more easy for them to accept their differences. But when is their first engagement is always much harder to take the right decision I guess they must get a lot of pressure to married the perfect woman who would pleased the all family.
Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by *Souri*: I asked my manager why she did not get the job and the answer was due to her age. She is in her early 40 and is overqualified for the position she applied.
she gave the impression to be a very happy person until she answered to the question why did you come to Egyp? sorry but it was obvious that she was not telling the thruth because I like Egyptian culture? humm can you be more specified what do you like about the culture?
Actually, it's none of the employer's business why someone decides to move to the country, other than the obvious reason - if we invest time in you, will you leave the country (and us) in a year or two? (in most jobs, it takes anywhere btw 4-9 months to really settle into it.) In other words, if you say you're in Egypt because of a relationship, that typically means you're putting roots down and there's a good chance you're staying long-term. If you are coming to experience the culture, then the employer thinks...well, she won't stay long, I'd rather find someone with less skill that I can train and who will stay long-term.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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You know, Souri, I was in exactly the same situation like her.
Well at first I just came to work as a nanny and experience another culture (no male involved). The second time I made it to Egypt I was in a very shaky relationship to an Egyptian man (which we both didn't want to admit and held on much longer than we should have). Anyway, at one point I was on my own as he left Egypt and returned back to the UK.
I was by myself again and thought: well that's it, I probably go home now, I was an emotional wreck for some time (I thought about going to Paris for a year). But I stayed because I really wanted to live longer in Egypt. For around six months I had three jobs (German teacher in a KG until noon, nanny to a German family until the evening and I gave extra lessons afterwards). It was kinda exhausting but it worked out that way until I found a great local job in an office (because I actually was a secretary).
So the woman you are talking about needs to keep her hopes up, try to manage things, eventually something good will come out of it..... and she really needs to make friends. They are SO IMPORTANT to survive overseas by yourself. I wouldn't have stayed that long in Egypt if it wasn't for some people who really supported me -especially in bad times.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by *Souri*: But what push all those women to leave everything behind them and come to a very different country into a very different culture? This question has been raised many time here but I would have never imagined how sad and desperate those woman are until I met her.
I'm a little puzzled by this question from you Souri, a woman who has left her own country, twice, and is now living in a a very different country and a very different culture from her own. I understand that you got a job before you came, and in that you were fortunate, and that this woman is still looking for a job - perhaps she doesn't actually want to/feel it is her vocation to work with kids or teach, not everyone does - but I'm not sure why that makes her "sad and desperate" any more than you were when you were spending all that time looking for a suitable job so you could come to Egypt?
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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First when I left my country was not by choice but more by necessity and did not arrived in UK with nothing (job and somewhere to stay) I did not have any job either when I arrived to Cairo and had to go through many interview before getting something but never been desperate no as I had a raison to come in Egypt, and for your own information I do not live in Egypt in this different culture by my own at all which makes a big diffrence ( but that my business) and if I had too, with no job and no money and keep thinking about the man I love being married to an other one I would certainly not stay but this is me everybody is different.And if I mentioned the fact that she could maybe find a job as a teatcher is because she already done that before and is also qualified for it. And what made me feel that she was desperate is not the fact that she is looking for a job, but mainly the way she explained to me how sad she was to see the man she loves getting married with an other woman ( and she knew that was going to happen before coming to Egypt), and the whole story about her love story. In addition to that, her frustration about Egypt and the way she described the Egyptians her view about the Egyptian society in general was very negative and that what made me wonder why she still wish to stay here that it
Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
well, since you seemed friendly and approached her, she probably thought she was getting a sympathetic ear and was just venting her frustrations to another expat (who she thought would understand those particular frustrations instead of judging her sad and desperate.)
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by *Souri*: Salam alikoum Newcomer
First when I left my country was not by choice but more by necessity and did not arrived in UK with nothing (job and somewhere to stay) I did not have any job either when I arrived to Cairo and had to go through many interview before getting something but never been desperate no, and for your own information I do not live in Egypt in this different culture by my own at all which makes a big diffrence ( but that my business) and if I had too, with no job and no money and keep thinking about the man I love being married to an other one I would certainly not stay but this is me everybody is different.And if I mentioned the fact that she could maybe find a job as a teatcher is because she already done that before and is also qualified for it. And what made me feel that she was desperate is not the fact that she is looking for a job, but mainly the way she explained to me how sad she was to see the man she loves getting married with an other woman ( and she knew that was going to happen before coming to Egypt), and the whole story about her love story. In addition to that, her frustration about Egypt and the way she described the Egyptians her view about the Egyptian society in general was very negative and that what made me wonder why she still wish to stay here that it
When she can think, she will know that a whole country can`t be as negative as her expierences have been. So it should be very well possible that she wanted to understand what has happened to her, the reason why, and wanted to know the other side of the country. But you only can ask her to know what is the reason behind...
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I do not and did not juge her at all but once again as I said I was wondering what keep her so motivate to stay here that it. And i could understand her frustration if I knew the raison that motivate her to stay here. She also said that some of her freinds from her origianlly country have advised her to come back if the situation was not getting better as they do not also understand her
Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
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being a second wife is greatest thing in Life! You will never be desperate Posts: 2728 | From: جمهورية مصر العربية | Registered: Sep 2006
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When she can think, she will know that a whole country can`t be as negative as her expierences have been. So it should be very well possible that she wanted to understand what has happened to her, the reason why, and wanted to know the other side of the country.
yes maybe you are right, I did not dare to ask her the real raison why but will next time I will meet her. The only thing i do not hope is that she left everything behind her in the hope to win the heart of her ex Egyptian boy freind Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by *Souri*: Salam alikoum Newcomer
First when I left my country was not by choice but more by necessity and did not arrived in UK with nothing (job and somewhere to stay) I did not have any job either when I arrived to Cairo and had to go through many interview before getting something but never been desperate no as I had a raison to come in Egypt, and for your own information I do not live in Egypt in this different culture by my own at all which makes a big diffrence ( but that my business) and if I had too, with no job and no money and keep thinking about the man I love being married to an other one I would certainly not stay but this is me everybody is different.And if I mentioned the fact that she could maybe find a job as a teatcher is because she already done that before and is also qualified for it. And what made me feel that she was desperate is not the fact that she is looking for a job, but mainly the way she explained to me how sad she was to see the man she loves getting married with an other woman ( and she knew that was going to happen before coming to Egypt), and the whole story about her love story. In addition to that, her frustration about Egypt and the way she described the Egyptians her view about the Egyptian society in general was very negative and that what made me wonder why she still wish to stay here that it
Wa alaykum salaam Souri, The way your first message came over it was as if you were talking about women in general who come on their own to settle in a new culture and have difficulty adjusting, as you kept on referring to “those women”, but now it seems as if it was more about that specific one, as I would imagine that there are very few women who move to Egypt to be close to an ex who has married someone else. What her motivation for staying is, I guess she is the only one who knows that.
And as to why other women stay, who find it difficult to adjust to living here and who find many things about Egypt difficult to cope with, I would guess that maybe 90% of those who move here, especially those from different/western cultures, if not more, have challenges to some degree or other in adjusting to life here, especially in the first couple of years and depending on their personal/financial situation. It’s called culture shock. Some people get over it and adjust to life here, even though they may still have moments of desperation, others don’t and end up going back home at some point.
I really don’t think that you can generalize why people put themselves through culture shock and don’t run home immediately, some may be hoping that things will eventually improve, others that they have made a personal commitment or a commitment to someone else, others that maybe they are hoping that things here will be better than what they left behind, others that they are looking for a longer term benefit…I’m sure that there may be more reasons than this and that the specifics will vary so much from person to person.
Glad to hear that things have worked out for you and that you not only have a job that you seem to like, but that you also have company here and are not apparently having too much culture shock. Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Mother War: That is unless you are the second wife. I'm sorry but I personally don't like to share. Too many men in this world to have to share one.
quote:Originally posted by Batman, non-stop, righteous machine: being a second wife is greatest thing in Life! You will never be desperate
..
quote:Originally posted by ?????:
quote:Originally posted by Batman, non-stop, righteous machine: being a second wife is greatest thing in Life! You will never be desperate
Should you like to be a second man, Batman?
quote: Polygamy is an empowering lifestyle for women. It provides me the environment and opportunity to maximize my female potential without all the tradeoffs and compromises that attend monogamy. The women in my family are friends. You don't share two decades of experience, and a man, without those friendships becoming very special.
posted
Nope, still not convinced. I'm far too jealous to share my husband with another woman.
quote:Originally posted by Batman, non-stop, righteous machine:
quote:Originally posted by Mother War: That is unless you are the second wife. I'm sorry but I personally don't like to share. Too many men in this world to have to share one.
quote:Originally posted by Batman, non-stop, righteous machine: being a second wife is greatest thing in Life! You will never be desperate
..
quote:Originally posted by ?????:
quote:Originally posted by Batman, non-stop, righteous machine: being a second wife is greatest thing in Life! You will never be desperate
Should you like to be a second man, Batman?
quote: Polygamy is an empowering lifestyle for women. It provides me the environment and opportunity to maximize my female potential without all the tradeoffs and compromises that attend monogamy. The women in my family are friends. You don't share two decades of experience, and a man, without those friendships becoming very special.
posted
Men will only use us as much as we allow them.
Confucius says:
Instead of rationalizing more then one wife, whip the bastard to shape with kindness. Posts: 2238 | From: Mother Earth | Registered: Jun 2004
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quote: Nope, still not convinced. I'm far too jealous to share my husband with another woman.
well, a faithful wife should keep a low profile for her jealousy and be helpful 2 other desperate women.
Imagine u had a friend of yours and u know her and she is desperate with no family n no life. Y dont u offer ur hubby 2 marry her. This is ultimately humane thing. a friend indeed is a friend in need. Posts: 2728 | From: جمهورية مصر العربية | Registered: Sep 2006
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That`s not an answer to my question, Batman. You`re placing a unrealistic fantasy of a woman, and I don`t take it seriously. Because I think that NO man with a little bit of selfrespect would share his wife with others, as also women will lose their selfrespect if they share their husbands with another. It happens, but it is always in moments/periods of carelessness, despare, search for what`s missing, or....selfishness. Because no couple who love and respect theirselves and each other would agree with a number three, four, five etc... So, please tell me your answer, and not a part of an atricle written by somebody else...
quote:Originally posted by Batman, non-stop, righteous machine:
quote:Originally posted by Mother War: That is unless you are the second wife. I'm sorry but I personally don't like to share. Too many men in this world to have to share one.
quote:Originally posted by Batman, non-stop, righteous machine: being a second wife is greatest thing in Life! You will never be desperate
..
quote:Originally posted by ?????:
quote:Originally posted by Batman, non-stop, righteous machine: being a second wife is greatest thing in Life! You will never be desperate
Should you like to be a second man, Batman?
quote: Polygamy is an empowering lifestyle for women. It provides me the environment and opportunity to maximize my female potential without all the tradeoffs and compromises that attend monogamy. The women in my family are friends. You don't share two decades of experience, and a man, without those friendships becoming very special.
posted
ROFLMAO!!!! You have got to be shittin' me.
quote:Originally posted by Batman, non-stop, righteous machine:
quote: Nope, still not convinced. I'm far too jealous to share my husband with another woman.
well, a faithful wife should keep a low profile for her jealousy and be helpful 2 other desperate women.
Imagine u had a friend of yours and u know her and she is desperate with no family n no life. Y dont u offer ur hubby 2 marry her. This is ultimately humane thing. a friend indeed is a friend in need.
The way your first message came over it was as if you were talking about women in general who come on their own to settle in a new culture and have difficulty adjusting, as you kept on referring to “those women” , but now it seems as if it was more about that specific one, as I would imagine that there are very few women who move to Egypt to be close to an ex who has married someone else. What her motivation for staying is, I guess she is the only one who knows that.
And as to why other women stay, who find it difficult to adjust to living here and who find many things about Egypt difficult to cope with, I would guess that maybe 90% of those who move here, especially those from different/western cultures, if not more, have challenges to some degree or other in adjusting to life here, especially in the first couple of years and depending on their personal/financial situation. It’s called culture shock. Some people get over it and adjust to life here, even though they may still have moments of desperation, others don’t and end up going back home at some point.
I really don’t think that you can generalize why people put themselves through culture shock and don’t run home immediately , some may be hoping that things will eventually improve, others that they have made a personal commitment or a commitment to someone else, others that maybe they are hoping that things here will be better than what they left behind, others that they are looking for a longer term benefit…I’m sure that there may be more reasons than this and that the specifics will vary so much from person to person.
I totally agree, and I also found the first post strangely generalizing and a bit offensive.
Posts: 3587 | Registered: Mar 2006
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But what push all those women to leave everything behind them and come to a very different country into a very different culture? This question has been raised many time here but I would have never imagined how sad and desperate those woman are until I met her.
I was mainly referring to this particular woman no all women in general of course, but I also said " those women" as I believe many others ones have been in similar situation as the one I talked about. I remember having red one day a similar story about a mother of 2 children who has decided to leave everything in her country in the hope to live her love story with her younger boy friend in Sharm and this story was posted by one of her child who was worried about the consequences this relation could have.
I do not think that there are many women who leave everything in the hope to win the heard of their ex, but I am quit pretty sure that many of them have left a lot behind them and got very disappointed by the way their love story ended and is about those women this paragraph was referring to.
Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
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I personally was aquainted to a young English girl back in '97 which was married to an Egyptian guy (they met in Sharm while she was on vacation), both of them worked (he was a pool guard and she worked as a English teacher an a KG) and had a little 1-year-old boy. They never seemed to have enough money, they even 'borrowed' eggs and other stuff from us, it was pretty bad. When they did fight it was mostly because of finances and at one point she was seriously considering of leaving him as she just couldn't take it anymore. He treated her well, he wasn't the typical Muslim guy, gave her lots of freedom, let her go out by herself and speak her mind. But one thing what he really didn't wanna do was to move to the UK which she tried to pursue him.
It surprises me how sometimes women give up everything back home incl. social benefits just to live right above the poverty line in a third world country.
You know at one point you have to draw the line. You have to make a decision. Suffering alone is bad but not being able to properly take care of your offspring is another story.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Western women in a third world country are anything but desperate and I am generalizing here. It is actually power and they are using it whether it is for a simple vacation, seeking some fun in the sun, backpacking, studying, relationship related, working or just bumming around.
Some are after their dreams but they are definitely not desperate and many times they know exactly what they are doing. Desperate is when you don’t have options and western women have plenty of options, including the one depicted by the OP.
This is the absolute truth because they in fact have power. An Egyptian maid might be desperate an Ethiopian female farmer might be desperate but in general, Western women in third world countries are rarely desperate.
Posts: 2079 | From: 'by any means necessary' - Malcom X | Registered: Mar 2007
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Of course if you compare them with many locals Western women have options and more opportunities but it still doesn't mean that living in a third world country is easy and without problems for a them especially when being married to a local and have his child.
But then you always can blame them that it was their choice, right?
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: Of course if you compare them with many locals Western women have options and more opportunities but it still doesn't mean that living in a third world country is easy and without problems for a them especially when being married to a local and have his child.
But then you always can blame them that it was their choice, right?
There is no one to blame and put it this way what are the odds that a western woman would bottom out in a third world country? I mean like totally rock bottom, like living like a bum on Azhar street in Islamic Cairo?
When push comes to shove such a woman will take her pathetic little(or big for that matter) ass back home and regroup Posts: 2079 | From: 'by any means necessary' - Malcom X | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Well well Sobriquet can't you stay respectful throughout this topic? And don't even get me started about Egyptian women' butts.... (I am just getting on your level now you know).
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: Well well Sobriquet can't you stay respectful throughout this topic? And don't even get me started about Egyptian women' butts.... (I am just getting on your level now you know).
There isn't anything that i wrote that is actually 'disrespectful'!
Lets see who is really desperate
A.) Western woman who travels to Egypt to live with her Egyptian beau, a man who is 20 years younger than she is. The relationship fails and she loses a lot of money because of many reasons.
Or
B.) Egyptian woman who marries a man 20 years older than her because of her predicament whatever it may be, usually financial.
Who is desperate?
Posts: 2079 | From: 'by any means necessary' - Malcom X | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
When push comes to shove such a woman will take her pathetic little(or big for that matter) ass back home and regroup
Simply your foreign woman 'ass' comment didn't sit well with me - that's all. Over and out.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: When push comes to shove such a woman will take her pathetic little(or big for that matter) ass back home and regroup
Simply your foreign woman 'ass' comment didn't sit well with me - that's all. Over and out.
It would help if you actually focused on the context of the sentence. Focusing on a single word is nitpicking or perhaps an inclination to have another go at me. I thought we were past that
Anyway though chill out. Posts: 2079 | From: 'by any means necessary' - Malcom X | Registered: Mar 2007
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Believe or not, but I'm the sad and desperate woman our dearest Souri was talking about. ES is THE meeting place for sad and desperate women, my dearest Souri, if you were smart, you would have thought about the possibility of me reading you message... But then I guess you're not.
My mouth dropped open while reading the post and I still have problems closing it again, to be honest. Wow, woman, what an imagination!
Well, guys, for starter's, Agnes (the lovely woman's real name) and me chatted for exactly ten minutes in the office and we talked maybe for half an hour on the phone. She obviously thinks that this is time enough to fully analyse and judge a person.
It totally beats me why somebody would want to put my story on an internetforum (I know she doesn't have enough work in the office, but next time you're bored, dear, please play a computer game, ok?), but if you do so, it would be nice if you could get the story right at least.
For those who are not asleep by now (let's face it, my life story is not exactly as interesting as Lady Diana's), let's get some facts lined up:
1) WHY DID I LEAVE MY COUNTRY?:
As amazing as it may sound to people like our lovely Agnes, I really came to Egypt because I was interested in getting to know a different culture. I have lived in Belgium, Germany, Mexico and Brazil before, and after having spent the last five years in Paris I was in for a new challenge. During my holidays, I travelled the world (Europe, the Americas, Asia and Africa) and I totally enjoy visiting new places, tasting new dishes, learning about new religions, discovering a different kind of literature and music, meeting new people etc.
I did not flee from family problems, lonelyness, a horrible husband nor jail
Why exactly is that so hard to believe? And why do you think that my life style is sad and desperate? I'm sure I had more fun in my life than 99,9% of the world population
2) WHY EGYPT?:
I agree Egypt is not exactly a heavenly destination, but to my defense I have to say that I picked it by chance: while living in Paris, I had worked closely with my company's department in Cairo and had made some friends. I visited them a couple of times last year, we had a lot of fun, so I decided to move down here for a while. Nope, sorry to disappoint you all, no juicy love story, didn't move to Egypt to reconquer the heart of some man or because I fell madly in love with a bedouin tourist guide. Damn, guess I just lost the chance to sell my biography rights to Hollywood .
3) THE JOB and MONEY PROBLEM:
I came to Cairo in January, found myself a job at a big American IT company within three weeks, but the job was so boring that about a month ago, I decided to quit. So indeed I'm out of a job now, but is that a reason to run straight back home?
If anybody knows about an open position, please feel free to PM me, but indeed, no teaching for me anymore, I worked for 7 years in university language centres, I've had my share
And thank you for being concerned about my financial situation, but since I worked the last 8 years as a well paid consultant, I can survive in Egypt for the next ten years without even having to work. I'm sorry I didn't disclose this information to you within the first ten minutes, it would have saved you obviously a lot of worrying. And by the way, the IT firm paid me three times your actual salary, eat your heart out, honey Mmmm... guess my situation is not so desperate after all
4) THE GUY:
Thanks, Schmuckers, for throwing me into the group of old women desperate for love who go out with young Egyptian guys desperate for a visa. But I'm not one of them.
Two years ago, I became friends with one of my Egyptian colleagues. He was one of the colleagues I went out with when I visited Egypt, he visited me in Europe last summer, we became very close friends, and even fell in love after a year or so, but we never touched each other (he's from a traditional and religious family). Ok, the age difference is ridiculous, I'm indeed 37 (not in the early 40's as Agnes stated) and he's 25, but hey, it was not like I had planned falling in love with somebody. Rather the opposite, I would say.
Although we loved each other dearly, we decided (or better he decided) not to get married. Not because WE could not handle the difference in culture, but because his society could not handle this kind of relationship: his parents would never agree him marrying somebody older or somebody who is not a muslim (I didn't convert), he couldn't stand the stupid comments of people in the street or in the office, etc. You know the stories from ES, no need to explain.
He's engaged now (why did you make up he was married, Agnes? Needed a dramatic element for your story?), will marry in about a year or so and yes, that hurts. He's still my best friend though, even if we don't see each other often.
But since I did not come to Cairo because of him (I knew before coming we could not have a real relationship), so I will not leave because of him either, even if his upcoming marriage makes me very sad. What is so desperate about not leaving? If you're from France, do you leave France if a relationship goes wrong? What has one got to do with the other?
Anyway, I know you're all bored to death by now, but I really needed to get things straight. You can not just make stuff up and put it on the net, that is not fair.
One thing was true though: I indeed complained about Egypt, but you should have known that a German who doesn't complain is a dead German, complaining is a national hobby of ours
PS: Thanks Tigerlilly and ExptinCAI and some others for defending me without knowing me, merci.
PS2: And since we're obviously putting each other's life stories on the web: during our phone conversation, it was actually Agnes who told me that she did not cope well here in Egypt and that she has problems with the new attitude of her fiancé (who seemed to be a different man in Europe), she told me that she already applied for a job in France and is thinking of going back. Since I'm not only 'sad and desperate', but also 'stupid and nice', I even proposed her to meet up with some of my French friends who have been living here for a while, to encourage her and to give her advise... Maybe she made up that story too? Some people are really naive,and believe in the good nature of others and I m obviously one of them Posts: 61 | From: Cairo | Registered: Oct 2006
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Oh and by the way, I didn't 'give up my whole life for a 20 year old beau and lost all my money':
1) he was 25 and not even 'beau' ) 2) he never asked for money nor did he want a visa, he is an engineer with a well paid job, he's happy here. 3) I gave up absolutely nothing at home, I never do, not even when I move abroad for a couple of years: my consultant contract was finished (so I didn t give up my job), I still own a small place to live in Paris, still have a car in Europe, still pay for my health and other insurances, so if I'm fed up I just take a plane and go back to friends and family.
Not all people who live here are crazy backpackers who fell in love with their tourist guide, leave their home country without thinking and are in deep sh... if the relationship doesn't work out. Some people do know what they are doing...
Posts: 61 | From: Cairo | Registered: Oct 2006
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You are obviously someone with lots of life experiences behind you. Just you make the most of it. Wish I had that. We're only here once.
Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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Oh, wow, that backfired! You know, Loira, Souri is a good gal. Not to take sides here but she might have misunderstood some things or mixed you up with another woman.
Anyway, we got now two views to one story.
Make up, girls! And meet up for a good cup of coffee, will ya? Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I know she's a good girl, she was the person who sent my CV to her manager although she didn't know me
By the way, thanks a million for all those articles you always post on ES, Tigerlilly, I love reading them..
Posts: 61 | From: Cairo | Registered: Oct 2006
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Oh ja, danke. Hoffentlich schaffe ich es auch noch mal in meinem Leben nach Kairo. Stell' Dir vor, wieviel Gossip wuerde es von mir auf diesem Forum geben?! Alles Gute an Dich!!!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Ich denke, daß du wieder nicht im Kairo Tiger, dich erinnerst an dieses dein ganzes Leben lebst Posts: 2728 | From: جمهورية مصر العربية | Registered: Sep 2006
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I know when I came to Egypt there was that little voice in the back of my mind that things wouldn't work exactly how I wanted and I would look so stupid if I went home. Of course my situation is nothing like hers, but moving to a differnet culture entirely has its risks. I would imagine she is more afraid of going home than toughing it out here. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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