posted
Hi it's me again, I'll not talk about a specific subject, but I wish to exchange ideas with friends. And as you all know I've not anyL I really so sad cause I can't find real love in our life now a day, except at MOVIES. But I think it's normal, cause nothing in our life works by emotions or real feelings, but do u think it's good to live our life by this way? I always ask myself every night what do I want to do in my life and how?? I always find an answer to the first part cause I've many dreams I wish to achieve, but there's no hope to achieve them, I can't even depend on myself to start my life, I can't bay a car or a house by my own, I depend on my family to do that.. how come?? I also believe that I'll not open my own home by myself, so what's wrong?? Am I wrong? Or it's not my own fault. If it mine pls let me know? But you've to know first what I did and what I plane to do, I've finished my college study (Management Sciences) by general estimation very good by the second degree of honor. I've got my master degree in finance, I work in a great privet institute as a teacher assistant. But there's something wrong, I don't know what but sometimes I feel that I hat my whole life and want to start again, LIKE A SONG (start again and this time I'll make it better then before…), but even that I don't know how or what I've to do. Some times I feel that I became like a robot which is programmed to do specific things, and it doesn't have a right to say NO or to say I FEEL.. When I see people I really wonder their life became like a routine even in their own things like their emotional and sexual relation, I needn't to be like that. Do u know the only thing I love is drawing, although I don't have enough time to do it but when I did it, I became so comfortable.. I know my life is goodcomparing by others but I need it better if it's possible, I need real changes in my life and don't know how can I make? So do u have an opinion. Posts: 87 | From: Maadi, Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Nov 2003
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quote:Originally posted by newman575: I need real changes in my life and don't know how can I make? So do u have an opinion.
My opinion:
Start small. For instance, if you enjoy drawing, then take a drawing class. In so doing, you'll have made time for something that you enjoy and be able to meet people with similar interests. If this isn't an option, then start even smaller.
It is common to fear that you are nothing more than a robot who has been programmed to think and behave in a specific way. How many people don't feel this way at one time or another? After all, human beings are socialized to want the same things-an education (formal or informal), a career or function of some sort (in or out of the home), marriage, financial/social/emotional stability, children, grandchildren etc etc. And because failing to fully achieve any of these goals on time can lead to feelings of inadequacy and depression, a huge part of our lives are spent thinking about and working towards them. Then, when we look around, and see that everyone around us is striving for the same things, fears of boredom and unoriginality develop. A vicious cycle...
Personally, I think it is how we go about getting what we want (or what we think we want) is what can make it all fun and original. Sure, strive for your goals, but enjoy the smaller things in life in the meantime.
posted
Dear newman, according to my own personal experiences things come into your life when it is the right time for it. And sometimes Allah show you the way and gives you hints but we dont want to see them. I was in a similar situation like you. When I was 14 I always wanted to do something with children. But in social professions you can not earn very good money here in Germany. So my parents forced me to make something in the business scene. So I had a practical education in a company and after that I studied business administration at University. But I always did that with not much motivation. I tried to persuade myself that this is the best for me, but my heart and my soul knew, that it was not. Then I get married to my first boyfriend of which I thought I loved him. We did not get children although every doctor told us, that everything is ok regarding his and my health. All the time I felt inside that I was missing something but I didn't know what. Years later after my divorce I was living in Turkey and by accident it suddenly happened that I, although I was not speaking turkish then, become something like a afternoon teacher for a group of kids in the small village where I lived. And all of the sudden I felt so selfsufficient and selfconfident inside myself. From that time on (which was 16 years after the first thought about doing something with children) I started to read and learn about psychology for children and in general. Back in Germany after a hell of trouble, I had to start my life completely new. And again I had to start in a job which I really hate meanwhile. But after 2 years I had enough money to start my psychology studies at a private school and suddenly by accident I found the possibility to look after a group of kids in a social institute for one afternoon per week. And during my trip to Egypt in March I was asked by a local orphanage in Luxor for help when I maybe will live there one day. So now I know and I feel it by heart, that to work with children is that what life wants me to do. And I am feeling very content with it. And when I started to feel calm, content and selfassured about my life again, also my big love entered my life. You will feel that you are on the right way, when you feel this deep deep security inside yourself that everything will turn out right. It happens somehow, someday without doing much for it. From one minute to another you will feel, that you are on the right way now. Just keep your eyes and mind open of alternative, maybe they come be very weird or frightened situations, maybe they come in the darkest moments of your life. Sometimes the answer comes by a book you will read or a film you will see, or by a talk you will have with someone you meet by accident. But stop to search. Try to be optimistic whatever you do. Try to find a sense in everything you do. And start to pray. And be patient.
Posts: 306 | From: Frankfurt, Germany | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
What happened to EXERCICES????? did you register at the Gym in Maadi? remember I had suggested the Samia Allouba's gym...
Or maybe...take a new hobby...and also draw when you feel like it...why not?
Do you like cooking? You can start by smashing an egg....and then things follow!
Hope you have a good sense of humour!
One last thing....maybe you should remember that you are not in Iraq now, or in Afghanistan...or actually in occupied Palestine? or in Alaska...or in ...or in...you are in Egypt my friend, OM el Donya...mother of all cultures! Enjoy!
Sincerely, Monica
[This message has been edited by Monica (edited 13 April 2004).]
boy do i know what you mean by needing life changes! i worked for years both at a job i disliked and then in a marrage that was hell - when both were over i felt very isolated and alone - adrift and without a clue which way to turn - then a friend sugested that i return to education - i laughed and said that it was imppossible at my age - but it planted a seed and after a year at my local university i found myself offerd a place at oxford and will graduate this june! i look back sometimes and wonder how i got here - it was not really planned as such but i just took advantage of opportunities that came along - i turned nothing down and so chance comment turned into interest which became action and so on - so i have to agree with jutta in that i think things do come into your life when you really need them too. so i think you should start a drawing class - i think we all feel better if we are doing something we really enjoy - and who knows it may lead to something bigger
posted
Take hollydays! Go to a beautiful island far away from ur counry. Take lots of paper and paints and draw there, enjoy ur time, see new things. Or do some extream sports. And find friends. Life is not a hollywood movie, people are not perfect and the relationships are not perfect, - that why all these things are so interesting. Start living atart feeling. I think u are just bored and don't see the way out.
Seat down and think what do u really want to do. Not long-term plans, but now. And do it (of course if it willn't harm anybody ).
Posts: 287 | From: Moscow Russia | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Dear Shamila, only just a hint: even if he is not a muslim, he can turn to his religion and can start pray and will find his peace and his freedom. ;-)
Posts: 306 | From: Frankfurt, Germany | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Monica: What happened to EXERCICES????? did you register at the Gym in Maadi? remember I had suggested the Samia Allouba's gym...
Or maybe...take a new hobby...and also draw when you feel like it...why not?
Do you like cooking? You can start by smashing an egg....and then things follow!
Hope you have a good sense of humour!
One last thing....maybe you should remember that you are not in Iraq now, or in Afghanistan...or actually in occupied Palestine? or in Alaska...or in ...or in...you are in Egypt my friend, OM el Donya...mother of all cultures! Enjoy!
Sincerely, Monica
oh ys I still playing gym, it's the only thing that I can do in my free time and now a day spend longer time in cause I've not any other thing to do
[This message has been edited by Monica (edited 13 April 2004).]
quote:Originally posted by kay in love: dearest newman
boy do i know what you mean by needing life changes! i worked for years both at a job i disliked and then in a marrage that was hell - when both were over i felt very isolated and alone - adrift and without a clue which way to turn - then a friend sugested that i return to education - i laughed and said that it was imppossible at my age - but it planted a seed and after a year at my local university i found myself offerd a place at oxford and will graduate this june! i look back sometimes and wonder how i got here - it was not really planned as such but i just took advantage of opportunities that came along - i turned nothing down and so chance comment turned into interest which became action and so on - so i have to agree with jutta in that i think things do come into your life when you really need them too. so i think you should start a drawing class - i think we all feel better if we are doing something we really enjoy - and who knows it may lead to something bigger
much love kay
dear Kay, I really appreciate you advice but I've no time to start a new study, I always work for a long time and I'll start my Ph.D. studies soon and I also take English courses.. so there's no time to do any other thing and I think I've not an ability to chain by new times in study eventhough if this study is drawing study.. I need some kind of enjoyable, I wish to go some where whith friends and do something crazy.. just dreams
quote:Originally posted by Lukoshko: Take hollydays! Go to a beautiful island far away from ur counry. Take lots of paper and paints and draw there, enjoy ur time, see new things. Or do some extream sports. And find friends. Life is not a hollywood movie, people are not perfect and the relationships are not perfect, - that why all these things are so interesting. Start living atart feeling. I think u are just bored and don't see the way out.
Seat down and think what do u really want to do. Not long-term plans, but now. And do it (of course if it willn't harm anybody ).
oh yes that's what I really need but there's no time and of corse it'll cost much money, but that's what I really dream to do..
quote:Originally posted by Jutta3: Dear Shamila, only just a hint: even if he is not a muslim, he can turn to his religion and can start pray and will find his peace and his freedom. ;-)
yes I believe in that, but to be honest sometimes I feel it's to hard to me to act like a religious one.. I think it's to hard to make a balance between live you life and enjoy it without making any bad deed but when you can arrive to this point you'll win everything.. I hope I can reach to this point one a day.. wish me goo luck.
quote:Originally posted by newman575: yes I believe in that, but to be honest sometimes I feel it's to hard to me to act like a religious one.. I think it's to hard to make a balance between live you life and enjoy it without making any bad deed but when you can arrive to this point you'll win everything.. I hope I can reach to this point one a day.. wish me goo luck.
Of course I wish you good luck and I am sure you will find your personal "right way" one day and the perfect "Mrs. Right" for you too. I wish you the best.
posted
it's a common fault of modern people. i know the feeling. i have the same feeling at one time. but one day, i saw a blind man on the street, he was playing a guitar with sweet smile. i was shocked by his face. he is a blind and can't see anything in this world, even confound with color such as red or green at all, but he can smile in the face of it. then i thought if i were in his situation, how would i do and what would i do? even i didn't know if i can smile in that situation. i couldn't imagine it. so i think all of my troubles are so chickenshit comparing unlucky people and i can't complain. all i have to do is that enjoying each day in my life. many things will be waiting us to do. why not do something to perk yourself up? such as sing a song you like, eat something you enjoy; put on something nice; give yourself a break; do something nice for someone else; play with your pet... in my opinion, this is a good way to get rid of your bad mood.
Posts: 6 | From: shanghai,china | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
kuaishuqun.. 'I used to complain about having no sheoes until I met a man with no feet' Newman.. I actually was thinking of your thread earlier, dare I say total Blase state of mind? Monica.. I quote you :maybe you should remember that you are not in Iraq now, or in Afghanistan...or actually in occupied Palestine Posts: 477 | From: Egypt | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
newman575, I think we all need new starts at some phases of our lives … We need to change and reform. The point is to which direction? Think about what you are good at and start from there. Comparing your life to others always backfires … whether with people worse or better than you.
There is another solution that only few people dare to do: change your life completely.
I have some relatives whose parents were stressing them to excel in education … and yes their academic life was very successful, but they were not normal.
quote:newman575: “I've many dreams I wish to achieve, but there's no hope to achieve them”
Man in this world everything is possible except impossible things … the question is what did you do to achieve your dreams. Remember, great people in this world were normal people just like me and you. They became great because they did something to change their life and contributed to the world.
I have visited places where the ambition of people is to escape death … to find food for their daily needs. This doesn’t mean you should lack ambition; however this means you should realize how good you are, and start improving yourself. By the way, nobody is satisfied with what he/she possesses.
quote:Originally posted by Raymon: I have visited places where the ambition of people is to escape death … to find food for their daily needs. This doesn’t mean you should lack ambition; however this means you should realize how good you are, and start improving yourself.
I couldn't have said it better myself. While it is important to realize that you are very fortunate if you can meet your basic needs, there is nothing wrong with going after what you think will make you happier. It can be frustrating to be somewhat depressed about where you are at in your life and then be told that you should be satisfied just because other people have it worse.
posted
hi my dear friends I really like you all so much cause of your caring to advice me.. I believe in every word you say and I alway thank god cause I'm not in Iraq or any other place.. but the main problem is do I've to accept myself as it's and don't dream to live in a better place, earn much money and get good posetion?? and if thee answer no I've to improve myself so how can I do that?? I wish to improve myself in many felids.. in my job by finding a good feild which I'll love and can find myself in.. in my social life by knowing new friends who I'll love and respect them and get the same in return.. in my romantic life by finding my girl whom I always dream of.. the main problem is that "I'm not in a stabile situation" in everything in my life or by other words "I'm not in a peace" with myself. sometimes I do something in my job which I hate and feel that I'm not a respectable person. other times I feel that I've to keep on my old freindships although they don't saticfy me but because they trust me and I needn't to hurt them.. and I also fight my sexual desires cause I needn't to be in a deep relation with someone just to enjoy myself.. can you imagin that I'm 27 y/o and I've no experiances in sex.. but I keep myself away as I can cause I needn't to do bad deed.. but I wish I'll not lose control one aday cause sometimes I walk in the street like a crazy stubid animal , sorry to say that but let us say it's a nature calls do you know that the only thing I do by myself and I enjoy it in my whole life is only playing gym.. and learning English.. although I didn't achieve alot in both of them.. sorry if I said bad words or bothered you by my own trouble but it's the only thing I do to sharing people in my feels.. I can't speek about my needs and desires with anyone around me.. even my brother.. and I've not a honest friend whom I can trust and talk with him/her freely so pls forgive me..
Posts: 87 | From: Maadi, Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Nov 2003
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posted
[Dear Newman Good for you that you can atleast express yourself on this forum. I really wish that something nice would happen in your life very soon. You seem to be a nice guy but very board at the moment. Try to get to meet some new people and perhaps look for a new job and hobby. We all have some bad times in our lives when nothing feels good. Don't give up,go and do someting you like. Have a nice cup of tea and some chocolate and cheer up.
Posts: 523 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
dear newman , i guess u r in a rush to fall in love dear, enjoy being single for the moment, every period has its own advantages and disadvantages, and one whisper in your ears, be patient , everything will come in its time, i am afraid that u will slip into a hole my friend, do u know what it is ? convincing yourself with love, that u will become in a bad need to it so u will start to convince yourself with what u get, while the idea is to let it crash into u , so try to spend your time , in something useful, not haram , and i still recall u were doing exercises. and try sitting in grand cafe, at sunset, smoking shisha, cantalop, with a cup of nescafe with milk on one hand, and a big KIT KAT , just alone ,then i guess u will need no one to share u .
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