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I've heard of the importance of a bride being a virgin in much of Egypt, but how about the groom?
Posts: 89 | Registered: Jun 2004
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posted
My impression (and that is all I can comment on, is my impression) is that being a virgin groom is ONLY important to the boy himself, if he was raised to believe it was important. It doesn't seem to be something that will make or break a marriage. In otherwords, you don't hear stories about a bride requesting a divorce from her new groom because she found out he'd slept with someone before, on their first night together. Also, this would never cause a family to reject a boy (simply because they would never know, and even if they suspected, the stigma wouldn't be the same as for a girl)....UNLESS of course he had a reputation for being a playboy that the brides family knew about, and in that case they might refuse the boy upon engagement.
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Well it's kind of difficult to determine whether a male is a virgin or not! But like Debbie stated if he has a rep for being a player he would usually be rejected by the brides family unless they don't object to his ways. It is very similar to the West in the sense that if a guy sleeps around with a lot of girls he is considered 'cool' whereas if a female did the same she would be deemed a 'w***e'. Even if the guy isn't looked up on for his sexual escapades he will definitely not receive the same treatment as a girl who is known to sleep around.
Posts: 170 | Registered: May 2004
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posted
actually, in the west the guy is only considered "cool" by other guys.
real "players" always downplay their reputation in front of women they like. rare is a woman who finds it attractive feature that her man has slept around a lot.
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Isn't it un-Islamic for a man to lose his virginity before marriage? Also, does losing virginity only have one meaning....sexual intercourse........or can it mean any sexual act?
Posts: 89 | Registered: Jun 2004
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quote:Originally posted by wedi: Isn't it un-Islamic for a man to lose his virginity before marriage? Also, does losing virginity only have one meaning....sexual intercourse........or can it mean any sexual act?
Sorry, I used to be cairofan, but forgot my password. Whatever ISlam considers is one thing, but what people do is another. People come with all kinds of "technicalities" to technically be virgins if necessary, but it is all hush hush, but done. I am not speaking about myself, but I have heard enough in the man's crowd. Ask what "brushing off" means in Egypt as opposed to the Webster difinition... Also, all kinds of other sexual things that do not involve sexual intercourses, but considered "sex". It is done, and let's not pretend it is not true. This obsession with virginity is more a show off than a true belief. Women use to "catch a husband" and men just not to get in trouble enough to be considered "playboys", because the society is rigid even for true love relationships, but they care less if a woman just catches you for your money and prestige, she is considered as "fine" gal as opposed to a nice woman who truly loves you
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There are women/girls in very conservative countries (such as Saudi Arabia) who will do anything but vaginal penetration, such as anal sex, and then go to the altar as a virgin. (or
quote:Originally posted by Aaliyah: I agree with Expt.
btw virginity is kind of difficult to determine in a woman too.
quote:Originally posted by foreigngirl: There are women/girls in very conservative countries (such as Saudi Arabia) who will do anything but vaginal penetration, such as anal sex, and then go to the altar as a virgin. (or
quote:Originally posted by Troubles101: Can't figure out how you ppl know such things
Well, men talk about such things, too, you know. Men have desires and when the forbidden fruit exists by the society, it si talked about even more... do you think we are just going to shut the desires up and become monks even in our thoughts? Also, let me give you another example...My Iranian buddies shared with me and some western friends about things going on in Iran underground that would be even unusual for the West with all its "temptations" vs. "virtuous" East..girls in hijabs/veils and guys arrive at whatever place of somebody's house in the Iranian capital passing through the moral police ok, take off their veils, and vola, nice dresses, short skirts, bright make up... turn off the lights, and throw panties at the guys... A guy ending up with a panty of whatever girl, makes out with her. Shocking? Yes, indeed, it was shocking for me to hear and I am a guy, not even to say my western friends. The comments were "You have parties like that?" I guess the most those participated were spin the bottle type of contests in 10th grade where the prize was maybe a kiss
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By the way, it seems to be a common belief that there are very few virgins in America at the time of marriage. There have been surveys done between 1991 and 1997 showing an 11% increase in virginity among high school students. The trend here of premarital sex which began around the 1920s seems to be reversing itself. Single males here are typically sexually-active in their 20s. Not so much in their teens. Seems like they go crazy when they go off to college. Most virgin guys here wouldn't admit to being virgin, but it seems to be changing in a way. It seems some of the ones who are more religious here are couragious enough to not only admit, but to be proud of the fact they are virgins, and saving that special gift for their wives. The same is true with many American girls who have an internal system of morality.
Like there is a stereotype of unmarried Egyptians being virgins there is one of unmarried Americans being non-virgins.
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