I mean, I can't possibly get over the fact that I discovered my closest male friend in Dubai is a shoplifter.
I really am disappointed, angry, mesemerized and...I can't think!!! The first time I "caught" him, I convinced myself I'm imagining things. Being who I am, I have to live with the suspicious me everyday!!! So I let it go.
Now last night, I saw him doing it again. I even saw him making sure that I'm not looking! But hey, women always look at reflections in windows!!! And I could no longer pretend not to know! So I was silent the whole night, till he took "it" out and tried to pretend it's an accident. I still couldn't talk to him! He begged and pleaded, and till this minute I'm still silent. The last thing I need in my life is to fight someone else's wars. But I can't help thinking abt it all the time!
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This would be even worse!!! I'm trying to make up a 100 reasons to disappear from his life. I just feel guilty...and so mad at him that I wouldn't want to disappear without may be kicking his bottom! Or at least a decent punch in his face! I guess I can't do that if it's psychological, can I?
Posts: 1813 | From: Cairo | Registered: Aug 2002
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Well, if it's psychological, he could get some help. Up to you if you want to stand by him while he's doing that. He would have to admit it's a problem though.
Or, it could be he is unethical. Then I wouldn't want to be near someone who did these types of things.
You might have done him some good. Given him the shock of his life to make him straighten up.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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There could be many reasons why he has been shoplifting.my advice to you is not be with him when he does it!One day hes going to be caught in the act and iam sure you dont want to be involved in this at all.Nothing you can do but try and ask him why! If he does not listen then walk away from this friend.
Posts: 224 | From: england | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Ngeg: my closest male friend in Dubai is a shoplifter.
Plz advise!!
Get the guts to let him know, verbally or in a letter, that you can't be friends with a thief.
And run for your life ya benty.
Bala friends bala araf..
(Besides, unless he's a homo, why are you wasting your time with a guy that you wouldn't marry?)
Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
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shoplifter means someones who takes something from a store without paying for it.
-------------------- Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This moment - this day - is as good as any moment in all eternity. Posts: 224 | From: england | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by sorsor: e7's ya ngeg 7arammmmmmmmmmi 3la a7'eir el zaman ma kansh el 3asham
ye7'reb beit elly 3allemek Masri!
Stop watching those shitty soaps or else you're on your way to catch mental retardation! Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
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you know one of my brother's friends was just like that. he didn't steal from shops, but he stole from his friends. every time they went out with him in a group one of them would loose something, money, watches, mobiles, and they didn't know who could it possibly be! ofcourse they never guessed its their friend! and the guy was beg7, he stole my sister's in law's mobile, and saw her crying, and even consoled her, and he had it all the time! he also stole one of his friends club ID, and used it to enter, even when his friend was with him. he'd just open the winder flash the security guard with the id quicly! ya3ni eh dah begad! finally, they all discovered its him, and faced him. he started crying, and then left them, and refused to talk to them again. i think if your friend is not poor or suffering from financial problem, then this is probably a psychological problem, cliptomania (horrible spelling, and i'm too lazy to look for the correct one). so i think you should encourage him to seek therapy, it might really help him. if he refused to get help, then stop talking to him
Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
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Don't let a good friend for this reason, He might be suffering from Kleptomania , having financial insecurity , or even tempted by stuff he can't afford. He might be a spoiled little boy inside , who just want things no matter how wrong is the way, he might be someone who wants to punish himself by getting caught and thrown in jail. your mission is to offer help and INSIST on it , Don't just turn your back and go away, We are NOT flawless or perfect creatures , I am sure that he will be a better man because of you ,and one day when it is your time to face troubles he will be there for you
Posts: 65 | From: Cairo | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote:Originally posted by MyKingdomForATaba2Koshari:
quote:Originally posted by Ngeg: my closest male friend in Dubai is a shoplifter.
Plz advise!!
(Besides, unless he's a homo, why are you wasting your time with a guy that you wouldn't marry?)
HEHEHEHEHEH...bcz: YOU CAN NEVER KNOW! But now he's a thief..I'll give birth to assassina, pickpockets and terrorists!
Posts: 1813 | From: Cairo | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Snoozin: Or, it could be he is unethical. Then I wouldn't want to be near someone who did these types of things.
You might have done him some good. Given him the shock of his life to make him straighten up.
I was thinking may be he's unethical bcz he kept talking all night abt how much money the place -he robbed- makes per night, that they charged him a lot for this or that.... But what shock..It didn't seem to me like he was shocked. He doesnt even believe im ditching him!
Posts: 1813 | From: Cairo | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by maryanne: There could be many reasons why he has been shoplifting.my advice to you is not be with him when he does it!One day hes going to be caught in the act and iam sure you dont want to be involved in this at all.Nothing you can do but try and ask him why! If he does not listen then walk away from this friend.
How can I make sure he doesn't do it when I'm around! How do I know the diamond ring I lost last month didn't wnd up with him? It's impossible!
Posts: 1813 | From: Cairo | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by sorsor: e7's ya ngeg 7arammmmmmmmmmi 3la a7'eir el zaman ma kansh el 3asham
Eskoti ya sorsor, banat el nas etbahdelo fel ghorba. Yakhti wekan 3amel fiha amrikani westatue of liberty we7arakat men deeh wefel akher bey2ash2esh el ma7alat!
Posts: 1813 | From: Cairo | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by 7ayat- magnouna khales taralaly: i think if your friend is not poor or suffering from financial problem, then this is probably a psychological problem, cliptomania (horrible spelling, and i'm too lazy to look for the correct one). so i think you should encourage him to seek therapy, it might really help him. if he refused to get help, then stop talking to him
La2 he's not poor! He gets paid 4 times as much as I get paid. Lives in an apartment that costs 2300 dollars a month! ... Thanks for sharing that story. My brother's bestfriend-they were brought up together at our place- stole my mom's jewelary last summer and left Egypt! We r talking hundreds of thousands here! What to say? It seems that this is becoming a normal thing. It doesn't surprise me anymore.
Posts: 1813 | From: Cairo | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Ngeg: I was thinking may be he's unethical bcz he kept talking all night abt how much money the place -he robbed- makes per night, that they charged him a lot for this or that.... But what shock..It didn't seem to me like he was shocked. He doesnt even believe im ditching him!
I'm so sorry Ngeg, I think you are better off without him. Justifying theft just because the victim is a business or well-off is awful. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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Honestly i think it's no bigdeal, there's no tort done to anyone. The shop is not going to get closed because of someone robbing, no employee is going to lose his job, and the shop owner is not losing money because he must be insured against stealing.
Shoplifting is a way to spice up shopping, it can be boring sometimes.
Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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Somebody has to pay for the stolen items. The cost of them doesn't vanish into thin air.
Generally the store increases prices to cover theft losses. If a store is robbed too many times, it gets to the point it cannot increase prices to cover losses and still stay competitive in the market. To avoid going out of business, it might turn to filing an insurance claim. But if it does that too many times, the premiums go up -- again another cost that either gets passed onto customers or the store owner absorbs, reducing the amount of money he can take home to his family.
There is no action in this world without consequence.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Jesus Cesar: Honestly i think it's no bigdeal, there's no tort done to anyone. The shop is not going to get closed because of someone robbing, no employee is going to lose his job, and the shop owner is not losing money because he must be insured against stealing.
Shoplifting is a way to spice up shopping, it can be boring sometimes.
Man..are u for real? What abt a husband stealing his wife's money to spice up a boring marriage as well? Students robbing each other during a looooooooooooong boring geography class...come on!
Snoozin', I think u r right. It's a hopeless case. Been almost a week now. Anyways, I don't have much time left in Dubai to waste on such matters. Thanks for ur input. Much appreciated.
Posts: 1813 | From: Cairo | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Snoozin: Somebody has to pay for the stolen items. The cost of them doesn't vanish into thin air.
Generally the store increases prices to cover theft losses. If a store is robbed too many times, it gets to the point it cannot increase prices to cover losses and still stay competitive in the market. To avoid going out of business, it might turn to filing an insurance claim. But if it does that too many times, the premiums go up -- again another cost that either gets passed onto customers or the store owner absorbs, reducing the amount of money he can take home to his family.
There is no action in this world without consequence.
You make sense but what happens in most cases is not what you suggest will happen. A smart shop owner will get security services to protect his store. A simple camera is sometimes enough depending the size of the shop. Or, he can employ a guardian, and there is a positive impact of shoplifters, as someone is going to have money to bring to his family.
There's always two ways to deal with a given situation.
Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jesus Cesar: Honestly i think it's no bigdeal, there's no tort done to anyone. The shop is not going to get closed because of someone robbing, no employee is going to lose his job, and the shop owner is not losing money because he must be insured against stealing.
Shoplifting is a way to spice up shopping, it can be boring sometimes.
Man..are u for real? What abt a husband stealing his wife's money to spice up a boring marriage as well? Students robbing each other during a looooooooooooong boring geography class...come on!
Don't make me say what i'm not saying. Sometimes you need to break the rules, do something that's forbidden just for the sake of doing it. Now there are different scales of rules, stealing from a shop is stealing someone that doesn't materially exist as most of shops are corporations. And now you can see the difference between robbing something out of someone and robbing something out of something.
Let me tell you a story: there are these three guys, they are tired to play playstation and smoking marijuana. They make a plan to rob a hotel, by night, while nobody works in there, just for fun, they don't need money. Believe me.
They execute their plan just like pros, cameras neutralized, entry in the hotel by forcing the backdoor, they head to the cashbox, they unlock it, they found a lil'bit more than 2000 dollars, they are happy enough, they abandon the project they had to get what was in the safe. They leave.
Two days later, they read in the newspaper that the hotel was robbed and that the safe was forced and that more than 10 000 dollars have been robbed.
Then they learn that the managing director was covered by his insurance, end of the story.
But these three guys still ask themselves who forced the safe, and they suspect the director, that they know.
This is only to show that as well as you don't put people in some sh*t, you can do whatever you want to do.
You guys are going to tell me: "nooo, it's forbidden, you can't do this", but hey, why do you think people loved a film like Ocean's Eleven? Film direction? Actors? I think there's also the fact that so-called bad-guys aren't that bad, and that the bad guy is maybe the one that's supposed to be the good guy.
Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jesus Cesar: You make sense but what happens in most cases is not what you suggest will happen. A smart shop owner will get security services to protect his store. A simple camera is sometimes enough depending the size of the shop. Or, he can employ a guardian, and there is a positive impact of shoplifters, as someone is going to have money to bring to his family.
There's always two ways to deal with a given situation.
Maybe in Egypt. Not in the US. In the US, that security camera will record the storekeeper's death at the end of a shotgun for all the nation to see on the 6 o'clock news.
People who get their kicks at the expense of others are just creepy. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Jesus Cesar: Then they learn that the managing director was covered by his insurance, end of the story.
Hmmm, that insurance thing....
Did you know my homeowner's insurance increase by 600% in three years because of all the hurricanes in the US wiping out everyone's houses? All along the gulf coast, especially Florida, North Carolina....trillions in insurance losses.
My house in Maryland was never touched. But I pay yearly for the damage done to other insureds' houses. Insurance is a business, too, they don't give out money for the warm huggy feelings they get.
Nothing is free.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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Maybe in Egypt. Not in the US. In the US, that security camera will record the storekeeper's death at the end of a shotgun for all the nation to see on the 6 o'clock news.
People who get their kicks at the expense of others are just creepy. [/QB][/QUOTE]
Yeah but i don't think Ngeg's friend is gonna take this step forward to become a killer. I was trying to widen what seemed to me a one sided trial. I don't think that someone shoplifting can be labeled a 'bad person'. But that's just my opinion.
"People who get their kicks at the expense of others are just creepy": are you a communist?
Because if i try to analyse this statement, everybody that wins a competition is creepy, because he's better than others, someone that sells more takes the market shares in his field and is creepy because the other salesmen are going to sell less...
Or the prehistoric hunter that brings more meat to his cave is creepy, because he took animals other hunters cannot have. Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jesus Cesar: Honestly i think it's no bigdeal, there's no tort done to anyone. The shop is not going to get closed because of someone robbing, no employee is going to lose his job, and the shop owner is not losing money because he must be insured against stealing.
Shoplifting is a way to spice up shopping, it can be boring sometimes.
yaeh hi five, i'm with you jesus cesar!!! LOL
Posts: 31 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by 7ayat- magnouna khales taralaly: you know one of my brother's friends was just like that. he didn't steal from shops, but he stole from his friends. every time they went out with him in a group one of them would loose something, money, watches, mobiles, and they didn't know who could it possibly be! ofcourse they never guessed its their friend! and the guy was beg7, he stole my sister's in law's mobile, and saw her crying, and even consoled her, and he had it all the time! he also stole one of his friends club ID, and used it to enter, even when his friend was with him. he'd just open the winder flash the security guard with the id quicly! ya3ni eh dah begad! finally, they all discovered its him, and faced him. he started crying, and then left them, and refused to talk to them again. i think if your friend is not poor or suffering from financial problem, then this is probably a psychological problem, cliptomania (horrible spelling, and i'm too lazy to look for the correct one). so i think you should encourage him to seek therapy, it might really help him. if he refused to get help, then stop talking to him
hey there is a MASSIVE difference between stealing from shops and stealing from people. i advocate stealing from k-mart, walmart, the massive corporations that steal from their employees anyway.. i mean they underpay them and treat them as wage slaves.. while the owners make so much money
anyway ALL PROPERTY IS THEFT!!! if you think about it!! or if you have an anarchist analysis of labour.. please see..!!!
posted
There are better methods for redistribution of wealth than to advocate theft...
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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hey there is a MASSIVE difference between stealing from shops and stealing from people. i advocate stealing from k-mart, walmart, the massive corporations that steal from their employees anyway.. i mean they underpay them and treat them as wage slaves.. while the owners make so much money
anyway ALL PROPERTY IS THEFT!!! if you think about it!! or if you have an anarchist analysis of labour.. please see..!!!
Oh yeah, but who do you think is taking the risk? The owners that are starting a new business are taking enormous risks, and that justifies the amount of money they make. While the workers are waiting that an owner creates a business to work in. And they are not slaves as long as they have the freedom to chose what they want to do with their lifes. NO, you cannot push this too far.
Some people find it exciting to steal something from the shop, some other take pleasure in driving at high speed, some enjoy taking drugs ... I mean in each case, people are doing something that's forbidden (although drinking is legal it stays a drug), but it doesn't necessarily put them into a "category", and make them unfriendly persons. If you begin to say all your friends have to respect the same moral code you're fixing to yourself, then the amount of friends you have is going to decrease.
Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jesus Cesar: If you begin to say all your friends have to respect the same moral code you're fixing to yourself, then the amount of friends you have is going to decrease.
In general I agree with you....but at what point is it OK to hurt others? Just a little bit? At all?
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Jesus Cesar: If you begin to say all your friends have to respect the same moral code you're fixing to yourself, then the amount of friends you have is going to decrease.
In general I agree with you....but at what point is it OK to hurt others? Just a little bit? At all?
It's NOT OK to HURT OTHERS. It is to hurt yourself, and as soon as you are not hurting others by hurting yourself, what's wrong. Some guys like to get drunk on saturday night, if you are this guy's wife, do you say to yourself: oh my god it hurts to see my husband like this, or put it the other way: if he likes it, why not?
Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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and it's nearly the same with Ngeg, is she sounds like: "oh Lord, why did you gave me a friend that robs in shops"
or she can put it the other way around, make fun about it, it's his life not mine. Even Gandhi had at least one dirty friend.
Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jesus Cesar: It's NOT OK to HURT OTHERS. It is to hurt yourself, and as soon as you are not hurting others by hurting yourself, what's wrong. Some guys like to get drunk on saturday night, if you are this guy's wife, do you say to yourself: oh my god it hurts to see my husband like this, or put it the other way: if he likes it, why not?
This is how I rationalize things. I don't care if a guy gets trashed out of his mind....as long as he is not in a position to hurt someone, like by driving. So it's not the alcohol or act of getting intoxicated that bother me. It's the fact that at times an intoxicated person can be dangerous.
I have friends who were killed by drunk drivers. I have friends whose CHILDREN have been killed by drunk drivers. But I don't care if someone gets wasted in his own home.
But with stealing...I've been stolen from.... it HURTS. And I wouldn't really want to hang out with a friend who was prone to hurting others.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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You def need to drop him whether it is a psychological problem or not. I mean it'll haunt you every time u misplace something... balash 2araf..el wahid mish na2is waga3 dimagh
Posts: 126 | From: New York | Registered: Jan 2006
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shoplifting is bad but it's not as bad as other things you may find out about your friends but still keep on being their friend.. for instance what happens if you find out that your best friend is cheating on her husband/fiance or BF? i don't suppose you'll tell her: listen you, you're an immoral bitch who doesn't deserve my friendship so go find yourself another slut to hang out with! this just doesn't happen, i've seen it many times and the sacred girls oath never allow such scenario.. they always stick together and this goes for men as well, do you know of any man who dropped his friend because he found out he was cheating on his wife (unless of course it was with his own wife )? now what could be more immoral, shoplifting or infidelity?
Posts: 956 | From: nowhere | Registered: Sep 2005
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You def need to drop him whether it is a psychological problem or not. I mean it'll haunt you every time u misplace something... balash 2araf..el wahid mish na2is waga3 dimagh
Thanks Kabreeta. I will definitely keep my distance. And count my fingers after shaking hands with him next time. Welcome on board.
Posts: 1813 | From: Cairo | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by misfit: shoplifting is bad but it's not as bad as other things... now what could be more immoral, shoplifting or infidelity?
quote:Originally posted by misfit: shoplifting is bad but it's not as bad as other things you may find out about your friends but still keep on being their friend.. for instance what happens if you find out that your best friend is cheating on her husband/fiance or BF? i don't suppose you'll tell her: listen you, you're an immoral bitch who doesn't deserve my friendship so go find yourself another slut to hang out with! this just doesn't happen, i've seen it many times and the sacred girls oath never allow such scenario..
First: Infedility means that she's harming herself and her partner. I have nothing to do with the whole story. But I could end up in a police station with a friend shoplifting.
Second: Infedility is a personal choice. It can't b a psychological issue. But shoplifting can be, and I don't want to be anyone's shrink! A big NO!
I'll think of more reasons and get back to you, saba7 el kheir.
Posts: 1813 | From: Cairo | Registered: Aug 2002
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Just look after yourself, Ngeg....It's *your* life, afterall. When it really comes down to it, this guy is only part of the scenery of your life....an important part perhaps, but not as important as *you.*
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Ngeg: First: Infedility means that she's harming herself and her partner. I have nothing to do with the whole story.
your arguments brings that really bad egyptian idiom to mind: as long as it's not my arse go ahead and screw!
quote: But I could end up in a police station with a friend shoplifting.
with a friend who cheats on her husband you could end in worse situations, catching her with your husband in your bedroom for one! besides, if your friend is caught shoplifting he will go to the station alone.. in all cases you've committed no crime being with him!
quote: Second: Infedility is a personal choice. It can't b a psychological issue. But shoplifting can be, and I don't want to be anyone's shrink! A big NO!
i totally disagree, infidelity can be a compulsive obsessive behaviour for some, a lot of people who cheat on their partners were found to be SA (sex addicts), they go through extended psychotherapy to get rid of this disease, and like it or not; one day you'll have to be someone's shrink.. that's when you'll eventually get married since all men are natural born psychopaths.. esaleeni ana
quote: I'll think of more reasons and get back to you, saba7 el kheir.
you ran out of reasons already, saba7 elfoll ya sharbat PS. I'm only teasing you!
Posts: 956 | From: nowhere | Registered: Sep 2005
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This must be such a disappointing thing to find out about such a close friend. You definitely have to protect yourself. Laws may be different depending on which country you are in, but where I'm from, if you are with someone and they are caught shoplifting, you both get charged with the crime.
-------------------- Get your gums around a gherkin today. The wisdom of the Great Gherkin is all seeing and all knowing. Posts: 84 | From: Gherkin Land | Registered: Aug 2004
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your friend needs help ... Just do not go shopping with her ...
People who shoplift often are rich and do not need to do it ... but it is an addiction ...
You only can change yourself ..and no matter how hard you try you will not be able to change anyone else ... You got to take care of yourself and do not put yourself in a situation that will juperdize * YOU* ...
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)? now what could be more immoral, shoplifting or infidelity?
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