posted
Just wanted to start a thread about how Egyptians receive and treat their guests at home.
What would you like your guests to take with them as a present? What do you serve your guests with tea or for dinner? What time should your guests arrive? What are the rules? Who does what? What if they want to spend the night in your house?
quote:Originally posted by MyKingdomForATaba2Koshari: Just wanted to start a thread about how Egyptians receive and treat their guests at home.
What would you like your guests to take with them as a present? What do you serve your guests with tea or for dinner? What time should your guests arrive? What are the rules? Who does what? What if they want to spend the night in your house?
..etc..
Feel free
i can't believe this! i swear i was just going to open a thread about egyptian hospitality! unbelievable Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
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Feed me, feed me, feed me by force until I vomit?
Yeah, thats hospitality.
For the most part I appreciate Egyptian hospitality, but continueally forcing me to eat isn't appreciated.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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Yes, I'd much rather cook than eat. Put me in the kitchen and leave me alone! Hey, i was wondering, if there are any eggplant chefs on board here, did you ever hear about eggplant skins having nicotine in them? I had a huge bonfire in my field yesterday and roasted eggplant over the coals. I delightful Egytpian guy I know, said that the smoke that comes off of eggplants has nicotine in it. I always thought roasting eggplants was stimulating, but never knew why, haha! Hospitality is great when it involves a lot of cooking, and I prefer to be on the giving end. I think Egytptian hospitality shows so much caring and friendliness, and I appreciate it very much.
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
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This actually happened to me. The made me eat and eat and as soon as I came home I threw up. [/QUOTE]Do you have bulimia????
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I don't know, guys, I always appreciated Egyptian hospitality and yes I like to eat. I surely appreciate all the efforts of these people and that they treat their guests like that.
I hate when I go and visit someone and have to ask myself if I could get something to drink....
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I was on the receiving end of egyptian hospitality, from a friend here. Oh my god. Its very excessive.It is similar to indonesian way though.Eat eat eat eat eat. If you mention something is nice they offer it to you LOL. Austral;ian is lesws like this. We even expect people to bring their own meat when you invite them for a bbq. Thats pretty unhospitable wouldnt you say!
Posts: 872 | From: Sydney | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by *Tigerlily*: I hate when I go and visit someone and have to ask myself if I could get something to drink....
Great point Tiger, this is one of the cultural misunderstandings..
I believe Egyptians view serving drinks (and of course cake with it) as the climax of the visit, and after it's finished guests are expected to leave soon. That's why they wait a while before they serve the drinks..
As opposed to the case in the west, where people don't link drinks to the visiting curve! And in this case you're offered something as soon as you come in..
Very important point to remember, especially on a hot day.
Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by MyKingdomForATaba2Koshari: As opposed to the case in the west, where people don't link drinks to the visiting curve! And in this case you're offered something as soon as you come in.
Assalamu alaykum MK!
I would say drinks in the West are very much part of the "visiting curve", certainly in the UK. If you don't offer someone a drink soon after they have arrived for a visit, it is seen as impolite; as if they are not welcome or you don't want them to stay for more than a few minutes. Although cakes/biscuits don't have to be offered, it is nice if they are. And you should also ask them what they would prefer to drink and how they like it served, e.g with milk/sugar. If guests stay for a long time you should offer another drink, at least, and you may even offer them another one just before they leave.
Whereas in my experience in Egypt, a choice is not always offered and it is usually assumed that you would want your tea served very thick and with several spoons of sugar in it.
Greater empahsis seems to be placed here in Egypt on preparing food and drinks for a guest and serving them in a formal way, i.e. on a tray, even if that means leaving them sitting on their own while you do it. Whereas in the UK, the emphasis is on spending time with the guest even if something simple is served in a simple way; the lack of a tray is not seen as imploite. For us it is seen as rude to leave a guest sitting for long periods of time on their own when they have come to visit you.
Just different ideas of what is seen as polite!
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by newcomer: Whereas in my experience in Egypt, a choice is not always offered and it is usually assumed that you would want your tea served very thick and with several spoons of sugar in it.
That's really funny!! I started to drink tea only at the end of my stay in Egypt, I hated it before. So everytime I was visiting someone, they were offering me tea, I couldn't say no once I had in in my hand...but I only want one thing, to throw it away...
On a more serious note, I have been hosted by very poor Egyptians, and I have always been treated like a princess. Egyptians are very warm people I find. Something that has always suprised me though, is that you may have guests coming without calling first. Here it would be considered as rude. But there, you can go and visit anyone you want, and anytime. At the beginning of my stay, I couldn't speak Arabic, and it could have been tiring to have me around, because I couldn't say a word, and it took me 10 minutes to understand every single word my host wanted to tell me. But my Egyptian friends never felt bored, they always made efforts to make me understand everything.
Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by newcomer: Assalamu alaykum MK!
I would say drinks in the West are very much part of the "visiting curve", certainly in the UK. If you don't offer someone a drink soon after they have arrived for a visit, it is seen as impolite; as if they are not welcome or you don't want them to stay for more than a few minutes. Although cakes/biscuits don't have to be offered, it is nice if they are. And you should also ask them what they would prefer to drink and how they like it served, e.g with milk/sugar. If guests stay for a long time you should offer another drink, at least, and you may even offer them another one just before they leave.
Whereas in my experience in Egypt, a choice is not always offered and it is usually assumed that you would want your tea served very thick and with several spoons of sugar in it.
Greater empahsis seems to be placed here in Egypt on preparing food and drinks for a guest and serving them in a formal way, i.e. on a tray, even if that means leaving them sitting on their own while you do it. Whereas in the UK, the emphasis is on spending time with the guest even if something simple is served in a simple way; the lack of a tray is not seen as imploite. For us it is seen as rude to leave a guest sitting for long periods of time on their own when they have come to visit you.
Just different ideas of what is seen as polite!
Wa3alaykum Assalaam NewComer (you're such a sweetheart with this greeting )
Great explanation!
I for sure loved it to get away from those non-sense formalities back home. And people get really and seroiusly offended if you won't serve the stuff on a damn tray and they would even spread the word!!
Here everyone is so surprised and thankful for anything I do. Very nice..
It also reminds me of how weddings in Egypt are so exaggerated, and all you get after paying millions is people who thought the food was "bayet" Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
About the presents...when I was visiting from France, I always bought beauty stuff -because my friends were female, and also, for the dads, shirts. It was always appreciated. While living there, when I was invited somewhere, I always bought basboussa, things like that. For families I didn't know very well, but I knew there were toddlers, I always brought something for the kids, books or tapes.
Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Barbapapa: I have been hosted by very poor Egyptians, and I have always been treated like a princess.
When I was working with UNICEF, I was visiting poor families in their homes in the west bank in Luxor. Very very very poor people.
One woman had a chicken, just one chicken, that laid the eggs that the woman sold to get the only income she gets.
One day I came to her house and she insisted that I stayed for lunch, and of course she didn't have any food to serve "the doctorah!!", so she cooked her chicken
I was crying while eating it..
Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Oh nooooo!!! She made such a huge sacrifice. But hospitality meant a lot for her. When I was staying at these friends I was telling you about, I used to go with the girl for shopping,and buy eggs, milk, foul, everything, so the mom could save some money. She would have never accepted that I gave her money directly, so I found this way was better -although she didn't like it either, but once we came back with everything, she had nothing to say, it was too late!
Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by MyKingdomForATaba2Koshari:
quote:Originally posted by Barbapapa: I have been hosted by very poor Egyptians, and I have always been treated like a princess.
When I was working with UNICEF, I was visiting poor families in their homes in the west bank in Luxor. Very very very poor people.
One woman had a chicken, just one chicken, that laid the eggs that the woman sold to get the only income she gets.
One day I came to her house and she insisted that I stayed for lunch, and of course she didn't have any food to serve "the doctorah!!", so she cooked her chicken
I was crying while eating it..
Posts: 457 | From: Any Questions? | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
The deal with the feed, feed, feed attitude is this: If you finish what's on your plate or in your glass they consider that you are still in need so give you more. In the West, it's considered rude to leave anything on your plate, it would be a sign that you didn't like the food. In Egypt, an EMPTY plate is a sign you haven't had enough, and your hosts haven't been hospitable enough! YOu have to leave a small morsel, or half cm of drink to acknowledge you are satisfied!!
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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You're so right citizen! It took me a lot of time to understand this emptyplate thing and its meaning! I always take a lot time to eat, and always leave a small part of food. But when I had Egyptian friends at my parents' home, here, I had to explain to my mom that it was something cultural...she thought they didn't like her food!!!
Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by MyKingdomForATaba2Koshari: What do you serve your guests with tea or for dinner? What time should your guests arrive? What are the rules? Who does what? What if they want to spend the night in your house?
..etc..
Feel free
This is a wonderful thread, I love to serve our guests, even if they are not my guests because I’m living with my family.
My Hospitality depends on the person’s background and nationality, for example I have 2 friends who are half Egyptian half Swedish , I don’t insist 2wey to feed them, because they don’t like this way at all, serving a drink is a must at our home. If it is time to dinner they have to eat. Both are leaving alone, one of them is my best friend and she loves to take dinner with the family. she always thanks me about my wonderful hospitality.
About My Egyptian best friends, I also don’t care, because we spent most of our time in the kitchen so they can feel free in opening the fridge and picking what they want, if it is dinner time, they eat they don’t feel shy. When we have a family ” lunch gathering” or “Eftar gathering during Ramadan days” I really feel very tired because we invite people from 4 P.M till night, but we don’t offer dinner. After lunch we offer drinks then deserts with drinks, then fruits then finally coffee… We serve the food and we say it like once, oh why don’t you eat!
My dad’s family is horrible family, we have to feed and feed, and if we didn’t feed we are impolite, and we have to say, these ridiculous sentences, Please eat, You don’t like the food? Oh you didn’t eat, your plate still full. Can I add more? Don’t feel shy, it’s yr home And they leave the rest of the plate on purpose; maybe they thought that this is more stylish. Even the kids, they do the same like their parents. I remembered my cousin came before her exams, I offered to help her in her studies. It was lunch time and the girl refused to eat and she was very shy, after a lot of begging she told me that I have to call her mum to take permission for her to eat! Maybe some can spend the night but only females, because me and my sisters are not ready to put on our veil… If the guests are from other country they have to spend the night, because my mum wasn’t Egyptian …nothing called hotels and it is very impolite to rent another apartment, if they are a big family, we have to rent them, because they came to “our country” and they do the same if we go to visit them.
Posts: 968 | From: www | Registered: Aug 2005
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This actually happened to me. The made me eat and eat and as soon as I came home I threw up.
Do you have bulimia???? [/QUOTE]
Not at all! I love to eat. When I was full I was told to eat more, and then more and more. Everytime I stopped more food was put on my plate and the woman demanded me to eat. I couldn't say no. The food was wonderful but I just ate way too much.
Posts: 516 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by citizen: The deal with the feed, feed, feed attitude is this: If you finish what's on your plate or in your glass they consider that you are still in need so give you more. In the West, it's considered rude to leave anything on your plate, it would be a sign that you didn't like the food. In Egypt, an EMPTY plate is a sign you haven't had enough, and your hosts haven't been hospitable enough! YOu have to leave a small morsel, or half cm of drink to acknowledge you are satisfied!!
This is sooooo true. It took me a while to get used to this rule. If I go to anyone's house now I always leave something on my plate so I won't be given more to eat.
Posts: 516 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Tibe: What is a traditionel Epytian meal????
**** !!!
It depends on people's taste, I prefer a nice lil kid's well cooked head on a plate, that is my favourite meal specially on breakfast Posts: 3903 | From: The Moon | Registered: Feb 2005
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I have heard that some egy ladies recieve their guests, specially foreign gentlemen, with a Belly Dance Posts: 3903 | From: The Moon | Registered: Feb 2005
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I havent had any real eaxperience about the egyptian hospitality except once when we visited a real poor family.there we were really served like kings.all the other places we went to ,didnt even get anything to drink almost and as soon as we got out i stopped to buy water at a small supermarket.Other times we got served only the cake that we got them as a ^gift^ and we got tea with it.Kind of weird .especially that these 2 cases happened at rich people`s house.
Posts: 140 | Registered: Feb 2005
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I agree with the feeding.... I have one Egyptian lady friend who won't take no for an answer with food.... she cooks enough to feed the entire Egyptian army!!! But.... I love her to bits... so I eat until I can't move!!!
Posts: 4238 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2004
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I agree it is hospitality, but it's a difficult thing when you really dont like the food but don't want to be rude, so they still insist you eat more. Everything here is cooked with butter or oil! YUK....no wonder, the olive oil is about 30-40 lbs per small bottle! Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Actually olive oil is very healthy - although only if used in normal quantities. Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Yea that is what I was saying, better to cook with it, but here they don't, and probably because it's so expensive! It's cheaper to eat fattening and bad things...oh well, I guess that's the same in America, fast food, here it is just butter, and oil all over everything!
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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I asked the nieces of my dh if they could come over during the day with their kids to come play with mine. They laughed at me for being silly! They would come over if I would cook for them! I should have explained better I guess. I love to have my friends over with their kids. We have coffee or tea (nothing much in fact) some cookies, the kids get lemonade. But we can all gossip while the kids take care of each other! Surely Egyptian women love to gossip too!:-)
posted
i've read in a book that, if you want to show the host that you're full, you just need to leave the table! is that true? seems kinda rude to me...! Posts: 457 | From: Any Questions? | Registered: Aug 2005
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This actually happened to me. The made me eat and eat and as soon as I came home I threw up.
Do you have bulimia???? [/QUOTE]
What a nice thing to say Tigerlily.
No in-laws have a tendancy to overfeed daughters in hopes that it will help pregnancy along.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by germanjulia: i've read in a book that, if you want to show the host that you're full, you just need to leave the table! is that true? seems kinda rude to me...!
In where I came from, you have to jump on the table and kick plates till they tell it is ok you can come down and stop eating ...
Posts: 3903 | From: The Moon | Registered: Feb 2005
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Egyptian hospitality is overwhelming! It was so touching to see my hosts do their best to make me feel comfortable. They "reorganised" their everyday lives in order to spend their whole time with me and show me around. And when I visited them at home I was offered plenty of delicious food. Actually, I love this attitude to "force" one´s guests to eat and eat and eat - very much the same in Bosnia.
Although I really appreciated my friends´ hospitality, I couldn´t help but feel "guilty" about it. They always tried to please me, even if it was inconvenient for them. As an example: a girlfriend of mine who was not allowed to be out "late", stayed longer with us even though she knew that she shouldn´t do that.
I think, people in Egypt are "too" hospital. I often have the impression that they postpone their own plans to be good hosts. Actually, I learned to appreciate the hospitality here in Germany which is quite pragmatic. When I mistime a visit/call to a friend here, s/he frankly tells me that s/he´s busy with doing something else. Then we arrange to meet/talk later, which is not a big deal. But if I did that with my Bosnian friends / some family members they´d be very offended. I could not imagine to "put off" my Egyptian friends either...
What do you think: Can people be "too" hospital?
Posts: 173 | From: Germany | Registered: Nov 2005
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Hello everybody I am new to this forum and I also think this is a great topic, Everytime I have been to Egypt staying with friends there hospitality amazes me as they cannot seem to do enough for you. One evening I was sitting outside with my gf and her fiance chatting when his family turned up with bags of food and soft drinks for everybody and we ended up having a really lovely evening. How marvellous is that Posts: 200 | From: uk | Registered: Dec 2005
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