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Originally posted by Simply_Me:
I was reading this forum and find out that people who communicate here are very smart and give real advice and help - I read so ...........................................................yes he has feelings for me - but what prevails is the fact that I can be a source of money

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All that stuff about the accident adn the business troubles and so on, do you know them to be facts or is this what he's been telling you?

Why do you give him money?Why can't he manage on his own?
If he divorces his wife and marry you, are you going to support him and give him money?

If you need an Egyptian man, there are many on this forum who are looking for women adn they don't want their money, check out MotherEgypt he also works in sharm and travels to russia often , may be you'll hit it off.

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Originally posted by Simply_Me:

no, dear, you were not harsh - you were very sicere - and yes it looks like u r saying
he didn't ask me to pay her operation - I sent this money on my own -

the question is that he shouldnt accept it
and when he is in problems - he never asks me or telling this - I myself always insisted and always were trying to help because thought that it could help us to be together

anyway - very sencere point of view and sometimes I am thinking this way also (

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pls try to see the reality, iam also marriage with egyptian man and iam from indonesia but my husband never make me hard with our marriage,he did everything to make me safe and believe to marry with him and come to egypt and i think everything all the problem if he love u , he will solve it to make u believe with him and come to u without any reason.

anyway Good luck dear, hoping u get the best in ur life

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Originally posted by Simply_Me:
PS
what I mean is that I did try to help him in deciding problems - because here in Russia it is normal to help your husband in business - the problem is that I considered mysel his wife already - even not in papers and he introduced me to so many friends and sistersd and brothers - and not just friends to go out - married couples with kids - they all are obviously veru prosperous of high class of Egypt - I see his friends they are not beach boys - very decent people -

Ahmed goes out with me to discos but he doesnt drink and he is not gigolo type in his appearance - he is 36 and sure if he would have been fisher of reach girls - it would obvious

He is OK - but he is not Holliwood star in appearance - I was trying to find any possible evidence of his cheating - he never hides from me anything - I mean his mobile or his things etc etc etc

I do know that he is a great father for his kids

What I am asking is - do you think would he ever divorce his wife - sometimes I think he is afraid that I would leave him (he is 9 years older) -and his last offer was llike a compromise - he wants to see if I will accept kiving with him there - he will divorce his wife?

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morning simply_me

Simply me too came to read ur story and as much as it bothers and again another story of heart break but hopefully may god recompensate u the best and like i always say, what happens always happens for the best and u should always be considering ur self blessed if ur intentions are good enough to escape a harsh reality sometime..

this story has more than one dimension.. the first and above all ignorance of an egyptian culture..and i would like to post onething here

ORFI MARRIAGE IS ALMOST ALL TIME A WAY TO DO THINGS UNDERCOVER AND HIDE A FAULT..COZ IN ISLAM A REAL MARRIAGE NEEDS PUBLICITY FOR MAKING IT CLEAR AND SAVING BOTH PARTIES RIGHTS.

nevermind simply_me, but surely u were fast in taking the decision to marry and without knowing of many people!!!what would let a woman do something like this??? shouldnt her marriage be the best day of her life, the glory and the bright day with all people shring her that lovely day??? yes i believe you were fast enough in making the decision.

people should come to really study much a partner before getting into this. i think i have posted quite lots about this in the other 2 posts in here, so check those please..

you could have spend a couple of days with him happily, but u didnt live with him, this is no life, this is a holiday a vacation during which he would make u the happiest and by the way, its very easy for a man to make a woman feel the most beloved princess and the most precious of all in his life ( wallahi this is simple) but he shall bear the sin if its not his real intentions.. so what i wanna say is that u didnt share real life, u every time come for a week and of course u would be the happiest what do u expect???

what about his wife??? did u let it go that someone cheat on his wife so easily for sake she is impolite..wallahi i still feel a pity for her like i do feel for u for being betrayed as well.. May be ur not egyptian dear and u dont understand much that its sort of much offending and forbidden and of an unaccepted cultural attitude to do like this and do what he did...

then comes the money issue, but didnt he wonder what was happening for him was happening??? didnt he think for a time why all these is happening and losses, may be its a test from allah to warn him about his faults.. ( iam sorry iam no god to judge but i will not talk about this, but allah certainly doesnt let a game go so far without punishment of the culprit if there are any)..

about the money, i certainly hate to talk about this simply_me, coz only god witness us all but its clear what the situation is, even if u gave the money with full permission and love, its coz ur pure hearted and u really loved him and felt the care in him ( u didnt live with him , u only visited him)..

whatever it is, u simply dont know about the egyptuian culture and if u know much about it, u would simply u urself judge that this person wasnt much serious..iam so sorry u got into the trap and hopefully may god recompensate the better for u and make u cheer up

above all try to pray and be faithful..u have been good to him, real, and god knows, u simply percieved things the way u would in ur culture but u have to know that things arent the same...ur intentions were good and ur heart full of love..so be sure god will recompensate u..ur a gem and a pure woman and u deserve inshallah ( gods willing) a happy life

be safe and if u need more debate to open up uir hear tto the utmost ull find good people to reply u and i will too when i get back of hospital tonight inshallah

smile plz

Dr.M.Lotfy
Resident Doctor of Dermatology & Andrology

[This message has been edited by EgyptianDoc77 (edited 25 March 2004).]

[This message has been edited by EgyptianDoc77 (edited 25 March 2004).]

morning simply_me

Simply me too came to read ur story and as much as it bothers and again another story of heart break but hopefully may god recompensate u the best and like i always say, what happens always happens for the best and u should always be considering ur self blessed if ur intentions are good enough to escape a harsh reality sometime..

this story has more than one dimension.. the first and above all ignorance of an egyptian culture..and i would like to post onething here

ORFI MARRIAGE IS ALMOST ALL TIME A WAY TO DO THINGS UNDERCOVER AND HIDE A FAULT..COZ IN ISLAM A REAL MARRIAGE NEEDS PUBLICITY FOR MAKING IT CLEAR AND SAVING BOTH PARTIES RIGHTS.

nevermind simply_me, but surely u were fast in taking the decision to marry and without knowing of many people!!!what would let a woman do something like this??? shouldnt her marriage be the best day of her life, the glory and the bright day with all people shring her that lovely day??? yes i believe you were fast enough in making the decision.

people should come to really study much a partner before getting into this. i think i have posted quite lots about this in the other 2 posts in here , so check those please..
you could have spend a couple of days with him happily, but u didnt live with him, this is no life, this is a holiday a vacation during which he would make u the happiest and by the way, its very easy for a man to make a woman feel the most beloved princess and the most precious of all in his life ( wallahi this is simple) but he shall bear the sin if its not his real intentions.. so what i wanna say is that u didnt share real life, u every time come for a week and of course u would be the happiest what do u expect???

what about his wife??? did u let it go that someone cheat on his wife so easily for sake she is impolite..wallahi i still feel a pity for her like i do feel for u for being betrayed as well.. May be ur not egyptian dear and u dont understand much that its sort of much offending and forbidden and of an unaccepted cultural attitude to do like this and do what he did...

then comes the money issue, but didnt he wonder what was happening for him was happening??? didnt he think for a time why all these is happening and losses, may be its a test from allah to warn him about his faults.. ( iam sorry iam no god to judge but i will not talk about this, but allah certainly doesnt let a game go so far without punishment of the culprit if there are any)..

about the money, i certainly hate to talk about this simply_me, coz only god witness us all but its clear what the situation is, even if u gave the money with full permission and love, its coz ur pure hearted and u really loved him and felt the care in him ( u didnt live with him , u only visited him)..

whatever it is, u simply dont know about the egyptuian culture and if u know much about it, u would simply u urself judge that this person wasnt much serious..iam so sorry u got into the trap and hopefully may god recompensate the better for u and make u cheer up

above all try to pray and be faithful..u have been good to him, real, and god knows, u simply percieved things the way u would in ur culture but u have to know that things arent the same...ur intentions were good and ur heart full of love..so be sure god will recompensate u..ur a gem and a pure woman and u deserve inshallah ( gods willing) a happy life

be safe and if u need more debate to open up uir hear tto the utmost ull find good people to reply u and i will too when i get back of hospital tonight inshallah

smile plz

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Dr.M.Lotfy
Resident Doctor of Dermatology & Andrology

dear all,

we are just giving opinion about a womans story and another man's story and not offending our egypt or whatever, simply we'r discussing a relation and not a nationality wise topic, so be calm and honest coz god witnesses all and loves honesty

salam all

This man is using you, he doesn't ask for money because he doesn't need to ask, you keep on giving it to him.

He has no intention of divorcing his Egyptian wife and instead of being honest about it he strings you along.

It is not whether you should be a second wife but whether you should be with him full stop. he is not worthy of you. Dump him

After some time I understood - he is not divorced had asked him - he said he was divorced just remarried her because of kids - but he feels so much attached to me and wants to start relations with me - he said he didnt tell me because was sure that I would not give him the chance

salam

u see whatever starts with dishonesty, mistrust and lies shall never get much higher whatever intentions are coz a foundation is poor

be well plz

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Originally posted by EgyptianDoc77:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Simply_Me:

above all try to pray and be faithful..u have been good to him, real, and god knows, u simply percieved things the way u would in ur culture but u have to know that things arent the same...ur intentions were good and ur heart full of love..so be sure god will recompensate u..ur a gem and a pure woman and u deserve inshallah ( gods willing) a happy life

be safe and if u need more debate to open up uir hear tto the utmost ull find good people to reply u and i will too when i get back of hospital tonight inshallah

smile plz

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iam sorry for you simplyme, and i agree with dr.mohamed
egyptiandoc77 barak allahu fik, bas lazem te2olohom mesh kol el masreyeen keda

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I sent this money on my own … The question is that he shouldn’t accept it.”

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Simply_me, it seems very clear thing. You see, men are also able to love very fast. He may love you, but your money is ok for him too. It’s like the following formula: How should I reject a girl that is so much nice, beautiful and enjoyable. I feel like loving her. Besides, she is a good source of money that I use to finance my family needs.

And guess what, if I met you I can make you have a wonderful time, and make you fall in love with me, and feel that our relation is the best relation in the world. It is easy … women need love and caring, and once you, as a female, feel like getting both you fell. That does not mean that I love you so much from the deep of my heart … that may mean I just like you, I just want you, I feel joy by your side.

Same thing applies on your case. The joy you feel by his side is an illusion joy.

You see, I am a good lender to my friends, and some of them come and ask money. But I can well differentiate between the one in need and the one who is needy.

You said in Russia it is normal to help a husband in business. Well, in Egypt it is NOT. Tradition dictates Egyptian husband not to accept money from their wives, even if he is poor and she is rich. Of course these things are changing now, but still an Egyptian man cannot behave take that with ease.

I myself, as an Egyptian, find difficulty accepting a female to pay for herself in my presence, especially if there are only the two of us. It just feels as if someone is hurting your manhood.

Mam, I would recommend that you go to him, and tell him that you are in big financial dilemma in Russia, and you need much of your money back … and check out his reaction.

Once you get the money, if he agrees, put him in crossroads, and tell him “whether me or your other wife” and see how he reacts.
In this simple test, you will be able to find if he can really stand by your side, at least financially, as you did or not. An Egyptian husband should do his utmost to save his wife from dilemmas … borrow … sell stuff … etc.

You can even put to him your choices without asking him for the money and see how he reacts. He may find that the burden is off him and that he can get away with the money now that you decided the relationship should end.

By the way, I don’t even consider an Orfi marriage a marriage for the beginning. C’mon it’s just a paper.

Just to be fair, give him a chance to prove “anything” to you … do that with total control on your feeling and with wisdom.

Take it easy with yourself …

Lisane, take it easy on Simply_Me … she is just a hurt woman.

hello simply_me

iam french, i didnt come to egypt but i will in summer, and i dont know very much but i read your problem and i feel very sorry for you and i agree with all the people " askhar, egyptiandoc77,raymon and nesrine"

i want you to stop this relation because its bad. iam very sorry but also what i want to say from my experience in this message forum that there are wonderful openminded great loving egyptian persons and it makes me come everyday to read so dont stop to learn the culture because its a beuatiful place..

your problem is also very discussed in this http://www.egyptsearch.com/forums/Forum3/HTML/000191.html
http://www.egyptsearch.com/forums/Forum3/HTML/000202.html

i wish you good and best

kisses..isabelle

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Originally posted by EgyptianDoc77:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Simply_Me:

After some time I understood - he is not divorced had asked him - he said he was divorced just remarried her because of kids - but he feels so much attached to me and wants to start relations with me - he said he didnt tell me because was sure that I would not give him the chance

salam

u see whatever starts with dishonesty, mistrust and lies shall never get much higher whatever intentions are coz a foundation is poor

be well plz

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hi simplyme, iam katia from poland and live in cairo
this what Egyptiandoc77 write is the main.
simplyme i also have some like your problem. i want cry now, i remember all cheat..

iam sorry

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Originally posted by Katiapolska:
hi simplyme, iam katia from poland and live in cairo
this what Egyptiandoc77 write is the main.
simplyme i also have some like your problem. i want cry now, i remember all cheat..

iam sorry
about crying - I am crying since January 4, 2003 ( and last days all I am doing - crying((( and I can not say it is cheating - he is decent... in the way he understands decency...

Katia did you accept something like Ahmed offered me - if you like - e-mail me to nkh@rambler.ru - let's talk...

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Originally posted by Simply_Me:

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If I were you I wouldn't give him another penny and GET OUT of the relationship.
Stop wearing your heart on you sleeve, I found it very painful reading everything you've been through - get out now while you can. You deserve much better than this.

hello, I'd like to say that reading your story has upset me.

Actually, when I first read the posting, I thought it was a joke, as it seemed to so obvious that this man was one of the Egyptian giggolo's that you hear and read about.

You have a kind heart and so much love to give but I think this relationship was too soon after the end of your other relationship.

This man (or boy) sounds like a liar to me.

He was looking for an excuse for you NOT to go over there and he said his wife broke her back.
You say that you saw a crashed car.
That could be anybody's crashed car.
Did you see his wife?
maybe you did and she was in hospital or lying down at home, but maybe not from a broken back.

You are giving the relationship 100 %.
He is giving the relationship just 1 %.

Try to get back some of the money if possible, but please, give no more.
You are too kind and he sees this.
If he has family and good friends, they will all help him.

He seems to be making excuses for you not to go over there and live with him.

Have you met his parents and family?
His real parents and family?
or do you trust that he is introducing you to his real family and not just neighbours?

I think the relationship has ended before it even started.

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Originally posted by lisane:
se this site www.kameranet.com
lots of russian girls/woman to talk wet same problem

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