posted
If you have an online friend, and you thought they were going to get CRUSHED in their current romantic relationship, would you tell them?
If one of *your* online friends thought *your* relationship was going to implode, would you want to be told?
I had a young online buddy who's married to an Egyptian man, and I just thought there were too many warning signs there that's he no good. I tried to gently tell her to take another look at some of his actions, and all it resulted in was her insulting me.
Oh, well.
I know I shouldn't stick my nose into other people's business, but her situation just seemed so extreme. It was like watching a horrible car accident about to happen. Don't you want to try and stop it?
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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I know someone having an online 'romance' I was told this guy was going to marry this this girl, without even meeting her. And they did at Christmas, the lady spending a week in Egypt...One week!!!!!! The only thing was he had been writing to a friend of mine the same time as writing to her. My friend had no intention of taking up his offer of love and marriage she just wanted to have a wide mix of friends. I wanted so much to worn this woman, and that it would be wise to slow down and get to know the guy and Egypt. But after reading some of her thoughts and ideas on this and other sites, I conclude she is a bit of a control freak and would not listen to anyone who might have more information,than she would like to hear. I have watched others on here try to advise her.....Now I will just stay in the back ground with my mouth firmly shut Posts: 643 | From: Over there | Registered: Aug 2007
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Yes, I understand what you are both talking about I had an Egyptian friend (just friend) and he's a playboy. He writes the same sweet messages to girls all over the world. (smooth talker) There was a young girl looking for him. I gave her his phone-number... I tried to be her friend and wanted to tell her to be very careful. But she decided not to talk to me anymore ... as if she knew I was going to try to warn her. I just hope she does not get hurt And before anyone asks ; Why is that guy your friend ? look at the verb ... he was my friend for a while till I discovered he was an ordinary liar.
Posts: 2932 | From: Just now and then | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Om Bubblemouth: If you have an online friend, and you thought they were going to get CRUSHED in their current romantic relationship, would you tell them?
If one of *your* online friends thought *your* relationship was going to implode, would you want to be told?
I had a young online buddy who's married to an Egyptian man, and I just thought there were too many warning signs there that's he no good. I tried to gently tell her to take another look at some of his actions, and all it resulted in was her insulting me.
Oh, well.
I know I shouldn't stick my nose into other people's business, but her situation just seemed so extreme. It was like watching a horrible car accident about to happen. Don't you want to try and stop it?
I think you did the right thing. You know someone who is an outsider might see things totally different than someone who is tied emotionally in a relationship. I mean she gave enough material so that you were able to build up an own opinion of this man - which was negatively.
No you did it right your worries let you caution her. If she doesn't want to accept your view it's up to her. She needs to deal with this man after all. And who knows she might comes one day back to you and says that she's sorry and you were so right.
Give her some time to figure it out herself. You gave her a warning sign but in the end she needs to go down this road by herself. And you cared, you've tried.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I had someone email and beg my to investigate her boyfriend. this was years ago before i learnt my lessons. initially I refused but after countless emails from her I eventually agreed to ask about this man on condition she didn't blame me for the result.
You guessed it, he was a player, I told her, she accused me of trying to break them up and lying to her and refused to ever talk to me again.
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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You did the right thing Om, even though I'm not surprised she didn't listen and got defensive...I think in situations like these the person just has to find out the truth on their own. I'm sure (judging from your selection of words in the past) that you weren't harsh or rude so her reaction must be out of something else. Perhaps deep down she knows you might be right...doesn't want to hear the truth. I hope you are wrong though and all goes well with her, I've seen too many of these relationships crash and burn...it's a real bummer. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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I`ve had it more then once, and my expierence is that a woman in love doesn`t want to hear it. Even when she is doubting (and there are more then enough reasons to doubt) her 'feeling" seems to be stronger, and she will remain by hoping that all that signals were false, and she is involved with that proverbial exception. If she is a real good friend, stay aside to offer help when it`s needed, for all the other ones, let it go. It`s wasted time, and wasted efforts...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I agree with ?????, some women have a real need to make things work, to proceed with a relationship despite the little voice inside of them saying 'RUN FOR YOUR LIFE RUN RUN RUN!!'. I think in these situations Om you just have to voice your concerns, warn her and then step back and let her live her life. You did the best you could, and she cannot say later that you didn't care or didn't try to warn her.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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If someone is in a relationship and is still at the stage of deciding whether to commit themselves to the other person, then I feel that it is justified in trying to let them know how you see their relationship, to help them in making their decision. But once someone has made the decision and is already married, unless they come to you asking for advice or seem to be hinting that they want your opinion on their marriage, I think that you should act in a supportive role and be there to catch the fall-out if it comes, unless you feel that the person is in actual danger.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
She has a child to protect. That's why I spoke up.
It's just a complete, miserable mess. Oh, I can't believe I'm staying awake at night worrying about someone I've never met. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
I also have someone online that have been talking to and have recently learned her man is not a good man at all. Still dont know how to tell her about it.
Rate Member posted September 01, 2007 04:53 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I`ve had it more then once, and my expierence is that a woman in love doesn`t want to hear it. Even when she is doubting (and there are more then enough reasons to doubt) her 'feeling" seems to be stronger, and she will remain by hoping that all that signals were false, and she is involved with that proverbial exception. If she is a real good friend, stay aside to offer help when it`s needed, for all the other ones, let it go. It`s wasted time, and wasted efforts...
great advice ??????
Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Totally concur with most of you here.This people will always see you as the bully,the evil one who is only intruding between him/her and their beloved.Some will even go as far as to believe you are after "her man" and will try to stalk you,believe me.I`ve been there. This mostly women will blah,blah you with the usual talk "i`ve not asked for your advice nor anyone elses..." .Once you read or hear this you know is the obvious signal you`ve nailed it precisely on what she refuses to see.
<and all it resulted in was her insulting me.>
Om,i felt exactly the same way. Posts: 1339 | From: Om Leito | Registered: Aug 2006
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It is so strange. It appears to be the opposite to thoughts on here...
On another site I have been following people waiting for their visas for spouses to get into USA. All of them say they would want to know if a spouse is cheating, or has told lies. I wonder if they are all in denial, and what they would really do if they were told the truth about their spouses Posts: 643 | From: Over there | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
Think is has to do with a temporary state of mind, like we all have when we are in love.
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by VanillaBullshit: Advice in these situations will always be met with resentment, just let them fall on their asses, they will anyway no matter what you do.
VB is sadly right here.
Pink Cherry, the story you tell seems very familiar. The control freak part too. It's strange how quickly such people turn their anger and frustration on to the very people they ask for advice. You are better off without friends who are their own worst enemies.
Posts: 2953 | From: Slightly south of Azkaban. | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ?????: Think is has to do with a temporary state of mind, like we all have when we are in love.
I generally agree with that, but this girl (and I say girl because she's very early 20s and I'm old), complains all over the place about how she's ready to divorce the guy, how he won't sleep with her anymore, how he disappears for days at a time. So to me, she *knows* there is a problem. Right?
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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So instead of warning this woman, you babble about it on here, giving details about the length and time of her visit. You then go on to criticize her.
If you had any genuine intentions of staying in the "background" as you claim, you would never have posted this stuff on here. Your intentions are transparent.
You also are making judgements about the overall kind of person she is by snippets of her personality you get from this forum. I can do the same. You come across like an insecure, attention seeking, backbiting, royal BIATCH.
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2007
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You are a rotten brat and totally transparent, referencing the poll started on the other forum and pretending like everyone has no idea what you are talking about. Get over yourself and stop taunting this person. You know nothing about what goes on behind closed doors. Everyone did answer that poll that they would want to know, the poll didn't ask what their reaction would be. And I believe it was made abundantly clear, specifically by the person you are taunting here, that the message would be taken with a grain of salt depending on who delivered it. With good reason, it seems, because there are nasty women like you around who are not to be trusted.
You're a SHI! disturber, you don't give a rat's azz about this person, and your attempts to cover up your mocking, mean, disgusting behavior aren't working. If you really cared for someone and their life, you wouldn't post this bullshit here for all the world to see, you would actually PM the person with your concerns.
STOP
TAUNTING
HER
NOW
Posts: 6 | From: Sonora | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
Gosh, two posts in a row from brand new members. Could one of them be the one Pink Cherry is talking about, only they're too afraid to post under their normal screen name?
Yes, I am a new member. I have read the drivel here for quite a while and this time felt like replying, and no LovedOne with your adle-brained speculation, I am not the member Pink Cherry is talking about. See, not all women are malicious, backbiting biatches that get pleasure out of hurting one another. Some of us actually give a crap about one another and will step up when we see petty miserable biatches getting kicks being poor representatives for the gender. This forum with some exceptions seems full of women that are full of nothing but venom. Wonder what made you all that way? hmm..... boy oh boy I could speculate.
You feel good taking digs at this woman? What the hell is it to any of you if she spent one week, two weeks or a flipping year in Egypt. It is her life. It would do you a great deal of good to learn to get your kicks in a different way. Bitterness ages you, don't you know?
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2007
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Pulling out the old, you're-new-so-you-can't- possibly-post-anything-meaningful argument? Wow, you really had to work hard on that one.
No, I'm not the person Stinky Cherry is talking about, but I do know the person she references, and I'm sick of reading all of you berating her constantly. You are all nasty cun!s.
To come to this site specifically to berate another member, and pretend you actually care about her and are thinking of "telling" her about something you might know is verging on the lowest of the low. But it's to be expected from your ilk. I'd venture the majority of you are many years and pounds senior your SOs. Clearly you are all unhappy, will always be unhappy, and have never emotionally aged past 12. Maybe someone should get out the Judy Blume books for you as I'm certain you need a little lesson about what happens to fuc!ing mean cun!s.
Posts: 6 | From: Sonora | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
Stupid mean cun! Cherry joined the same time as me, yet no one is calling her out for being a newbie and therefore an unreliable source of information. This just proves how nasty you all are. You will circle around whoever suits your need of eating other women alive.
You're all worthless, and I certainly hope the person Cherry was referencing can see through all of your disgusting behavior and not let it bother her.
Posts: 6 | From: Sonora | Registered: Aug 2007
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quote:Originally posted by lalalala: See, not all women are malicious, backbiting biatches that get pleasure out of hurting one another...This forum with some exceptions seems full of women that are full of nothing but venom. Wonder what made you all that way? hmm..... boy oh boy I could speculate.
Bitterness ages you, don't you know?
It looks like you and Who Says are pretty full of venom and bitterness to me. The anger and language you have both displayed are stronger than I have seen on here for a while. Perhaps some internal reflection is needed here before you start calling the kettle black Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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This is what everybody might get when hey are on rather intimate conversationlevel with total strangers by Messengers and mail. Women, all talking with and about each other. Can`t we see how mean it is, to nail a person in public, because she is thinking in another way? Listen people, relationships are complicated, and nobody would tell another one everything, so it's rather impossible to give good advices anyway. If somebody is at the point of ruining her life in your point of view,and she won't listen to advice, maybe it's meant to be this way.Some people need to expierence everything in the hard way and take a lesson oout of it, or maybe you are the one who is wrong, time will tell. Judging is wrong, and nail a person even more wrong. Just let everynody make their own decisions in life, a good friend will be there when she is needed...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
What 'poll' and what other forum is being referenced here? Link?
Posts: 2953 | From: Slightly south of Azkaban. | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by newcomer: QUOTE]It looks like you and Who Says are pretty full of venom and bitterness to me. The anger and language you have both displayed are stronger than I have seen on here for a while. Perhaps some internal reflection is needed here before you start calling the kettle black [/QB]
Puhlease. The strong language offends you rather than the sicko depraved actions of a few women on this board hellbent on taunting, mocking and belitting someone? Oh your poor sensitive ears!!!!! Biatch is so strong.
Angry? No. Disgusted? Yes. Bitter, no. I don't taunt women but I do speak up when I see bullies being bullies. Do my words sound venomous? If so, they are a reflection of said womens' actions.
Inner reflection? Thanks for the suggestion though I did reflect on this. I have seem the same few repeatedly go after certain women time and time again. People turn a blind eye or get their digs too; it is pathetic.
Since you felt compelled to comment on my contribution to this forum, let me ask you a direct question:
What do you think of Pink Roses giving details that will certainly help people identify said member, divulge that her husband was according to Pink Roses two-timing, yet claim she will "will just stay in the back ground with my mouth firmly shut"?
What does everyone else think of it?
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2007
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I have no idea what is going on, so if someone can kindly fill me in on it I would be most appreciative. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: I have no idea what is going on, so if someone can kindly fill me in on it I would be most appreciative.
Pink Cherry's message, second from the top, and PC's and SWYS's subsequent messages.
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2007
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I have no idea what is going on and I don't want to know.
I find the choice of words of one particular member extremely disturbing! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Well I just read everything and for the record I have no clue who Pink Cherry is referring to ...
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by newcomer: QUOTE]It looks like you and Who Says are pretty full of venom and bitterness to me. The anger and language you have both displayed are stronger than I have seen on here for a while. Perhaps some internal reflection is needed here before you start calling the kettle black
Puhlease. The strong language offends you rather than the sicko depraved actions of a few women on this board hellbent on taunting, mocking and belitting someone? Oh your poor sensitive ears!!!!! Biatch is so strong.
Angry? No. Disgusted? Yes. Bitter, no. I don't taunt women but I do speak up when I see bullies being bullies. Do my words sound venomous? If so, they are a reflection of said womens' actions.
Inner reflection? Thanks for the suggestion though I did reflect on this. I have seem the same few repeatedly go after certain women time and time again. People turn a blind eye or get their digs too; it is pathetic.
Since you felt compelled to comment on my contribution to this forum, let me ask you a direct question:
What do you think of Pink Cherry giving details that will certainly help people identify said member, divulge that her husband was according to Pink Roses two-timing, yet claim she will "will just stay in the back ground with my mouth firmly shut"?
quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: Well I just read everything and for the record I have no clue who Pink Cherry is referring to ...
I think regardless of whether people figure out who the person is she is referring to, it is quite apparent that Pink Cherry's intention was not to add a similar experience to this thread, which could have been done leaving out the timeframe and length of another member's visit. She knew by putting that info out there some people would know who she was talking about, and very likely the member herself, yet in the same message Pink Cherry claims to be keeping her mouth firmly shut.
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2007
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quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: I also have someone online that have been talking to and have recently learned her man is not a good man at all. Still dont know how to tell her about it.
posted
You might only think that because YOU know who she is referring to, but the majority of people on ES probably don't know and it wouldn't have been thought of twice if someone hadn't said something to her for that comment. I think sometimes it is just best to let things slide, who knows , it could turn out for the best.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: I have no idea what is going on, so if someone can kindly fill me in on it I would be most appreciative.
Pink Cherry's message, second from the top, and PC's and SWYS's subsequent messages.
What is 'la La' rambling on about? I don't know Pink Cherry's background. I made one post. I can think of several incidents of women fooling themselves on ES. I'm sure others can too. If La La means a specific woman, state so - or step out from behind the new identity and reveal your agenda.
Posts: 2953 | From: Slightly south of Azkaban. | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Indeed I do think it will turn out for the best for the member who is now happily married, regardless of how many times women on here want to go after her.
Again, regardless of whether or not people know who the member is, the hypocrisy of Pink Cherry's message stands. She isn't keeping her mouth shut if she is blasting it on here.
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
well the whole point of this thread is, is do you tell someone when you know something? Do you tell them just what you know, or do you wait and get proof of what you know... do you tell them at all or just let them find out on their own.
quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: I have no idea what is going on, so if someone can kindly fill me in on it I would be most appreciative.
Pink Cherry's message, second from the top, and PC's and SWYS's subsequent messages.
What is 'la La' rambling on about? I don't know Pink Cherry's background. I made one post. I can think of several incidents of women fooling themselves on ES. I'm sure others can too. If La La means a specific woman, state so - or step out from behind the new identity and reveal your agenda.
Not a "new" identity; I am not married to an Egyptian nor dating one. This malicious of this forum has a reputation that spreads far beyond the Egyptian circle. My "agenda" as you refer to it is has been stated. I read the crap that goes on here and I wanted to speak up.
If you were not taking a dig at the member Pink Cherry is referring to you when you said " the story you tell seems very familiar. The control freak part too. It's strange how quickly such people turn their anger and frustration on to the very people they ask for advice." than my apologies; given I have seen you go at this member in the past, I assumed you were doing it once again. If my assumption was incorrect, again, my apologies. Only you know what you really meant.
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2007
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Oh...this is becoming much clearer. I was thinking of a very specific individual who has bugged people across different forums, but Pink Cherry's reference might be completely different. The torrent of anger directed at members of ES is completely out of kilter with the general statements made by Pink Cherry. La La has seen me 'go at' this member in the past, but has not seen vile language or aggression directed at me? Again, pretty revealing and very one-sided.
The subject posed was fair enough, for a public forum. What a lot of fuss over nothing. Posts: 2953 | From: Slightly south of Azkaban. | Registered: Aug 2006
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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
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I think in these situations Om you just have to voice your concerns, warn her and then step back and let her live her life. You did the best you could, and she cannot say later that you didn't care or didn't try to warn her.
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and will try to stalk you,believe me.I`ve been there. ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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It's strange how quickly such people turn their anger and frustration on to the very people they ask for advice. You are better off without friends who are their own worst enemies.
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(kidding). 
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