posted
Of_Gold reminded me to a question an Egyptian man once asked me. he asked me why all American women seemed to want an Egyptian men.
I`m not an American women, and I don`t know any, but I think his question was a bit too optimistic ranked. So, I told him what I thought about it: Not every American woman wants an Egyptian men. But there are so many, he said.... Yes, of course, but America is a big country, with many women. Also there seems to be a large amount of single women. I even think it is not one particular kind of women, it`s a mix.
I dont know how all these women met their BF`s, husbands, etc. Some by internet, some by a holiday.
But it seems that there are some "clicks", identical points in both cultures, that seems to work out. I don`t know how, it can be a rather strong focoused informationstream out of the States, by media. It is possible that this culture simply is better known by Egyptians, because of the movies, the informationstreams.
There is not another culture in the world that has such a big informationstream. Should it be this? Every other European country will be much more unknown in Egypt, as we compare it with the States. So, an Egyptian man who is informed, shall know more of this country as another one...
Also the United States have another kind of attitude against foreigners. The country has been build by foreigners, and every citizen (except the Indians) has a background from another country. Should it be this?
So, American women; please give your opinion about this. Why that overpopulation of American women on the Egyptian marriage-circuit?
Of_Golds topic: There are many wonderful men here in America. We have our share of problems but there are many good things about our country. It is a mistake to think that everyone in our country is represented by the bad that is portrayed.
Woman can find romance here. We don't have to go to Egypt for that. From my perspective I don't see this rush on Egyptian men that sometimes seems to be portrayed on ES. If anything we are probably given a negative image of Arab men from our media. Logic would tell me that there is more of a rush with foreigners to marry American men. "America, Land of opportunity, home of the free..."
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
in the late 70s and early 80's it was american women marrying Iranien men. Women and men no matter where they are from are attracted to other cultures. Yes, we all originate from other cultures. Did you know many american women are also marrying Nigerians right now and have been going to Nigeria for quite some time. Nigerian women are marrying outside their culture to foreign men also. This is not just about the american women. With the internet we have the chance to meet others from all around the world. How many men have married chinese women? My mother is Italian and dad German from two different countries and had a great marriage until he died of a heart attack at 44. History tells us we are made up of different nationalities. I never searched for a egyptian man, it just happened. Love just happens.
Posts: 1369 | From: California | Registered: Aug 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
That is a good point. Check out my family tree:
Dad's side: My Grandfather is Saudia Arabian married to a Spaniard/Israeli, my grandmother, and they had my father in Mexico where they moved to.
Mom's side: My Grandfather is Spaniard/French, but raised in Mexico, and married to an American, raied in Texas. They had my Mom and raised her in Texas.
I, in turn, was born in Texas and married an Egyptian. My brother married a Cuban. My aunt married an Uruguyan. My uncle is with a Colombian. lol
See, everyone in my family married outside their culture! Posts: 285 | From: egypt | Registered: Apr 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I've noticed that many Egyptian men have a tendency for wild exaggeration.
They use their own experience, magnify it a thousand times and then pronounce it as the status quo.
Most likely, the percentage of American women marrying Egyptian men is somewhere between 1 and 2%; or even less.
When Americans travel abroad, they are most likely going to either Latin America, the Carribean, the far East or Europe.....not Africa.
Also as Gold stated, there is a massive stigma attached to Arab men, and a very significant number of American women would not date or marry an Arab man simply out of principle.
From what I've personally seen, when American women inter-marry with men from other cultures, it's usually with men from a Latin or European country.
When American men inter-marry with other women, it's typically with women from the Far East, Europe and Latin America.
Overall, the VAST MAJORITY of Americans marry and date other Americans ofcourse..
posted
One of the reason could be that one of the life goal of an American women is to have a family while American men tempt to be more selfish and like to stay single and enjoy their life.
I believe that Mediterranean men are more family oriented than the non Mediterranean ones therefore, some women who marry them can feel protected satisfied and not alone anymore, and it is why is frequent to see a non Mediterranean women getting married with a Mediterranean guy, no matter where they from Italy, Greece, Egypt, And finally, as non Mediterranean men tempt to enjoy more their freedom than to have a family, it is not that frequent to see some of them getting married with a family oriented women, and this is why there are more women than men who are attacked by this Mediterranean and family oriented culture.
Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I obviously can only speak from personal experience and observation. The one Egyptian man I have dated and the one other person I personally know that has dated an Egyptian just happened. Neither one of us sought out an Egyptian man. Both of us met our men here in America (not online or on holiday) and those men live here in America now but are originally from Egypt. I would never seek out boyfriend based solely on him being Egyptian. I personally do not understand seeking out an Egyptian online or on holiday. I am not putting those women down, I just don't understand it. Actually I don't understand meeting a potential boyfriend online at all, but that's just me. Call me old fashioned but I like to meet people in person.
Posts: 83 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
OK, since I kinda started this thread, I should give my 2 cents.
First: I had no idea that all American woman want Egyptian men. I am from Texas and this statement would be quite amusing to most here.
Second: Has anyone noticed how big America is? The whole country of Egypt is comparable in size to many of the states in the United States, and there are 50 states. Although I am not positive I believe that the United States is bigger than the whole EU which correct me if I am wrong, consist of 27 counties. So if you are comparing say for example the number of Italians vs the the number of Americans married to Egyptians this would not be a good comparison. It would be closer to say the number of Europeans vs the number of Americans and still you might have to add another country or two.
Third: It is my opinion that the Americans who are involved with Arab men are unique and open minded individuals.
Forth: There is a lot generalization of people on ES. Like people will say Egyptian men are like this or all Americans are like that.... My gosh, I had a bad marriage but I certainly don't think all men are evil, American, Egyptian or any other nationality. It almost seems like someone should just come out and say that we should forget about men all together.
And....if anyone thinks that I have implied that America is above all, this is certainly not the case. I see the problems here quite clearly and I am not proud of things done by my country in the last few years. I am also not proud that we have poverty, homelessness, the death penalty...
What I am saying is this: There is good and bad all over. We cannot close our eyes to the bad but we must see the good. What creates conflict is the attitude that my way is better than your way or you have to be like me or everything is black and white, period, nothing in between.
......"cautiously stepping down off of my soap box to avoid tripping" Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
?????, I think your assumptions are wrong. American women are not more present than other nationalities getting involved with Egyptian men.
This board is prooving that indeed many UK women are having relationships/marriages with Egyptians.
You just won't find Italian and German women or from other nationailities on here because they communicate on forums in their respective native languages (because many of them have only a very limited knowledge of English).
And I agree with Alistair that the majority of American women won't date or even consider marrying an Egyptian or any Arab guy in particular.
quote:Originally posted by *Souri*: One of the reason could be that one of the life goal of an American women is to have a family while American men tempt to be more selfish and like to stay single and enjoy their life.
Statements like this just get me . Souri, seriously, have you ever date or were seriously involved with one? And if so is one bad experience allowing you to form such a generalization or is it all hearsay?
But nevermind I've read the same comment numerous times here on ES before so I am kinda getting used to it slowly. But for all the American women who diss their own men think twice before you are getting involved with anyone. The grass might be greener on the other side of the fence - but you still gotta mow it.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Its not a generalization of course all American guys are not the same at all, and Iam sure that it must be also a lot of advantages being married to one of them
I did not mean to say that some cultures are bad and others are good, but I know from experience that some are less family oriented than others, and this is why women who are seeking to have a family are more attacked by Mediterranean cultures. On the other hand, some women who are seeking to focus on their career and enjoy their freedom are more likely to be attacked by the opposite culture. Once again it is not a generality you can also find of course some non Mediterranean people who are much more family oriented than any other Mediterranean guys, but in general I have observed the opposite and there is nothing wrong with both type of culture, its just different way of living and both have their pros and cons.
Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Souri, you mean 'attracted' by the opposite culture, yes?
I have to agree with you here. I personally like my own freedom and a relationship with a typical Arab man wouldn't just have worked out for me. Nethertheless I am not religious now nor I will ever be.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
By being married with someone who constantly check what they are doing and where they are can somehow make them feel secure and safe which I think, as well as having a family is what they are looking for. The ideal would be a blend of the tow culture, a guy who would be liberal enough to let his wife having the freedom she needs to be happy, and who would be family oriented enough, for the wife to feel protected and safe for her and her children. When you can’t have both for the above reason I have described, some women kind of prefer to be with sticky Mediterranean men rather than feel lonely, insecure, and unsafe.
Posts: 1182 | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged |
I have never dated American man, and I would never date American man.
I see nothing that attracts me to American dating, love, marriage scene despite the fact that I meet American men all the time and American men are attracted to me.
I have never felt even 1% of desire to be with American men. I don't know any American man that I would want until rest of my life, and I have met tons of people.
There is something about American that I dislike, and no matter how sofisticated they say they are and no matter how good looking and rich they may be, just the fact of over sexualizing women, focusing on sex a lot, cheating habits, non commitment, no sense of family, addiction to pornography, weird sexual ideas, not taking responsibility for own children or wife, not being into a woman, being gay, bisexual, transexual, metro, etc... all kinds of sexuality that you can imagine, double lives, marriages out of nonsense, Las Vegas and drugs, alcohol and sex, and all that... makes me to be not interested.
posted
OMG.... I already rest my case here. There is too much prejudice out in regards to American men.
After all everyone wants to find the perfect partner for life. And you need to be happy with your choice 'cause that's the most important thing.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by lovingmylife: I would date any man - but not American.
I have never dated American man, and I would never date American man.
I see nothing that attracts me to American dating, love, marriage scene despite the fact that I meet American men all the time and American men are attracted to me.
I have never felt even 1% of desire to be with American men. I don't know any American man that I would want until rest of my life, and I have met tons of people.
There is something about American that I dislike, and no matter how sofisticated they say they are and no matter how good looking and rich they may be, just the fact of over sexualizing women, focusing on sex a lot, cheating habits, non commitment, no sense of family, addiction to pornography, weird sexual ideas, not taking responsibility for own children or wife, not being into a woman, being gay, bisexual, transexual, metro, etc... all kinds of sexuality that you can imagine, double lives, marriages out of nonsense, Las Vegas and drugs, alcohol and sex, and all that... makes me to be not interested.
AT ALL.
Right, Everyone of them.
And all Arab men? Wealthy Sheiks with a harem of wives who they make wear burkas. The wives are used for breading only, then when they come to America they purchase Viagra to visit prostitutes, while pursuing terrorist acts?
French men? Charming, smooth operators who know how to tell a woman just what they want them to hear so they can get them into bed. Then that evening saying the same thing to a different woman?
Italian men? Italian Stallions. All are in the Mafia, sell drugs, kill traitors... They have their wives in public and a mistress on the side and grope women on the streets?
Irish men? HOT TEMPERS!!!
Indian men? Abusive to wives, make them work and take their money. Expect wife to have house cleaned and have bathed and ready for them to have their way with them when they walk in the door?
"yes, it's sarcasm" Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
| IP: Logged |
However, it's not that I intentionally decided 10 years ago this is how it will be.
It's something that took place over the years based on the fact that American men really don't have what it takes for me to be attracted to them.
My attraction feelings towards American men are - non existing. You can put the most attractive smartes American next to me, I may be flattered, but I would not want him. I guess I need more depth in a man than simply what American men have to offer.
We differ so much culturally.
I do respect and understand other women who are in love with American man, but this have never happend to me. I know why. Because American culture of love, dating, and marriage is not what I would settle for, so obviously I see no point.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Your decision is just fine, lovingmylife, it's your life and no one can force you to do something you don't want.
And your choice against an American man will make another woman happy, believe me. Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I have to agree that there are many American women that would not date/marry an Egyptian or Arab man. It’s sad but I think it’s true. We are shown such negatives images through the media of Arab nations. It’s all we know, or all we choose to know.
When I met my Egyptian bf I thought he was the first Egyptian person I had ever met, I didn’t realize that there was such a large Egyptian population in our community. I just never thought about it. We have large populations of Brazilians, Mexicans, Asians, Guatemalans, Indians etc the list goes on and on. When I met him he asked me what country I thought he was from, I had the slightness idea, but honestly it didn’t matter, I liked him and that was it. When I told my friends about him, they weren’t surprised that I was with a foreign man, but they were shocked and did not approve of an Arab one. They clearly stated that they would never get involved with an Arab man.
I’ve dated different kinds of men from different countries, but never from the Middle East. My feelings are men are men regardless of where they are from; it’s all in the individual.
Posts: 81 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Sep 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by lovingmylife: I would date any man - but not American.
I have never dated American man, and I would never date American man.
I see nothing that attracts me to American dating, love, marriage scene despite the fact that I meet American men all the time and American men are attracted to me.
I have never felt even 1% of desire to be with American men. I don't know any American man that I would want until rest of my life, and I have met tons of people.
There is something about American that I dislike, and no matter how sophisticated they say they are and no matter how good looking and rich they may be, just the fact of over sexualizing women, focusing on sex a lot, cheating habits, non commitment, no sense of family, addiction to pornography, weird sexual ideas, not taking responsibility for own children or wife, not being into a woman, being gay, bisexual, transsexual, metro, etc... all kinds of sexuality that you can imagine, double lives, marriages out of nonsense, Las Vegas and drugs, alcohol and sex, and all that... makes me to be not interested.
AT ALL.
honestly. I have met a few Egyptian men that fit exactly the same thing you are describing here. and i have known a lot of American men that don't come even close to this description.
Posts: 83 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by lovingmylife: No, no I AGREE with you.
However, it's not that I intentionally decided 10 years ago this is how it will be.
It's something that took place over the years based on the fact that American men really don't have what it takes for me to be attracted to them.
My attraction feelings towards American men are - non existing. You can put the most attractive smartes American next to me, I may be flattered, but I would not want him. I guess I need more depth in a man than simply what American men have to offer.
We differ so much culturally.
I do respect and understand other women who are in love with American man, but this have never happend to me. I know why. Because American culture of love, dating, and marriage is not what I would settle for, so obviously I see no point.
It's fine that your not attracted to American men that's your prerogative. just no need for sweeping stereotypes, and incorrect ones at that.
Posts: 83 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Prince of Nothing: I'm starting to believe that there are quite a few people on E.S that could easily fit the criteria for mental retardation.
~Alistair
There's so much drool in this thread, I could go surfing.
Posts: 2404 | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
It's an intriguing topic. I actually married an Egyptian guy I met on holiday and we are happily married or a year and a half now and have a beautiful little girl.
I had a flight to Spain for two weeks and my travel partner canceled and another friend invited me to Egypt to visit with her family. I was there 14 days and on day 12 I met her brother who was traveling by on his way to some party. It was love at first sight for us!
I had no prior knowledge about Egyptian culture other than the whole pyramid and pharaonic archeological books I had read about growing up.
I am sure there are many American women out there who were not "seeking" out an Egyptian guy but who ended up with one just as any woman ends up with a guy from anywhere else.
posted
All I can say is that when people say there is a significant number of women who would not date Arab men, there is also a significant number of women who would NOT date American men.
American men are not desirable for long term and serious relationships or marriage. 1/2 of America is "fatherless". Almost every 2nd women is single mother. From 10 children 4 will go to sleep without father in the home. Now, ummmm it's not me who told them how to behave, it's what American men believes and feels about women, children and their family units. Men in America are not ideally suited to responsible fatherhood. Although they certainly have the capacity for fathering, American men are inclined to sexual promiscuity.
If you think that American men in love, dating and marriage department are not the way I described then read the book "Fatherless America": Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem by David Blankenhorn:
Now read this, and think again: Almost 75% of American children living in single-parent families will experience poverty before they turn 11 years old. Marriage is what makes fatherhood more than a biological event. To tons of American men having children means often insemination and not really a true effort to connect to the their own children they bring into the world.
Sadly, over 25 million American children (more than one in three) are being raised in a family with no father present in the home. Culturally family is not strong value to Americans. 50 percent of divorced mothers claim to "see no value in the father's continued contact with his children after a divorce." ( according to research conducted by Joan Berlin Kelly, author of "Surviving the Break-up," ) What do American families look like today?
Single Moms - 10 millions. The number of single mothers living with children under 18 years old, up from 3 million in 1970. One in two children will live in a single-parent family at some point in childhood. One in three children is born to unmarried parents. Between 1978 and 1996, the number of babies born to unmarried women per year quadrupled from 500,000 to more than two million. The number of single mothers increased from three million to 10 million between 1970 and 2000. Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. More than one million children have parents who separate or divorce each year. More than half of Americans today have been, are or will be in one or more stepfamily situations. One child out of 25 lives with neither parent.
One-third of lesbian households and one-fifth of gay male households have children. Estimates show that approximately 2 million American children under the age of 18 are being raised by their lesbian and gay parents. This is only 1 aspect I am talking about. What ABOUT other aspects, over sexualizing of women, addictions, drugs, alcohol, cheating, marriage for benefits only, double lives, hidden gay, regular gay, bisexual, transexual, metro, and all kinds of other things.
Thanks, but ummm no thanks.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
After all these statements against America men, I should like the know the rates about who did take the decision to devorce. Because when indeed 75% of the children are living without a father, there still are two persons who were in a marriage, when one of two decided to break up. If I`m not wrong informed, usually it is the mother... And going deeper into the subject: were they ready for the responsebilities of parenthood? Do BOTH take this serious enough? I expect it is the same as everywhere else: its ridiculous to hang a lable on a nationality. A marriage is a connection between two people, and both have the same responsebilities in this. So, when an American woman marries a man, whatever his nationality might be, she also has responsebilities. It is wrong to state that every devorce is a man`s mistake.... How about the women?????
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I am not going to marry a woman, so statistics for women are irrelevant.
Anyways, this is my personal choice. Some people would not date or marry a person of different religion, I guess that would be your case, so why do you think that you have right to object my personal preferences? You can marry whomever you want and I can marry whomever I want.
If I won't date or marry an American what this has to do with you?
It has nothing to do with "nationality", it has to do with culture of american dating, love and marriage. Take it or leave it, that's how it is.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
This is a bit dumb, LML. If you are talking about a country and the devorce-rates,single parents families rates, and u`re using all this statistics by blaming American men as they should be guilty to this, then you`re making wrong conclusions. Sure every single person is free to marry they want. But it is not fair to blame one certain group as if they caused this rates... So, IMO this cannot be the reason!
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Not only that but to assume you will avoid something by marrying into a difficult culture/nationality is a bit far fetched. I don't know if LML is saying that and of course she has the right to like or marry who she wants. But to hope to avoid divorce by marrying an Egyptian man is strange, if that is what is meant. I will agree with something someone said earlier about the goal of the average American woman being to marry and have a family - while it does tend to seem that many American men try to avoid this at all costs.
I don't know why this is, it is something frustrating to many American women I believe, many of whom really do opt for more traditional family lifestyles. Naturally, not all women are the same, some would rather focus on career or education and forego the family. I have noticed so many American men really don't want the same things as we (American) women do...but if you find one that does and one that takes marriage/family responsibility seriously, he is truly a diamond hidden in the hay. I love my brothers in America (men) and think highly of them for many differnet reasons, I do think so many have been led astray with the idea that marriage and children means a life of misery and being chained to the home as a servant. In the end everyone suffers for this. SOME American women haven't helped this idea with trying to trap men into marriage by pregnancy...it gives the impression that having children IS a trap, which is unfortunate.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Prince of Nothing: Lovingmylife, I'm sure American men are in torment over the fact that you'll never date them
For someone that doesn't give a crap about American men, you sure do talk about them alot.
~Alistair
Now let me ask you this, why do you care?
Now since you are probably American yourself, you know you have no chance. Prince of Nothing... when you send a 5 page letter expressing how deeply your love is , instead of how would you like to have sex....
maybe, maybe...
I would have given less crap about American men.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Prince of Nothing, give it up! She is not attracted to you simply because you carry an American passport. Move on! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
DO American men in common have these ideas about getting married and starting a family? I cannot imagine that.... IMO, when two people get married, they at least must have similar ideas about whats important to both of them. So, if a carreer and making money should be placed on a higher rank as having children, it must be a choice based on boths agreement. It has no use to try and force another one to do what only one has in mind, because on long term this can never work. So, its a bit dumb to marry in the illusion that you will be able to convence the unwilling partner to do what you want. Just confronting him with the irrevocable child that has been born... Its stupid, irresponsable and extremely selfish, especially to the child and the father, they didnt ask for this. It will happen, but I cannot believe this is common. I think the high devorce rate, and the large number of one parent children, cannot be attributed to only the fathers. The way LML is describing American men and blame them for all the wrong scores in family-lives is a strange and distorted conclusion, that undoubtedly shall have its reasons, but I think they`re wrong. Maybe its better to close the case with this, because it has no use to talk about such issues when reason is gone.
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by ?????: This is a bit dumb, LML. So, IMO this cannot be the reason!
Hold on. Let's talk about your marriage choice. You got to be answering some questions about your preferences too. You can't just ask me endlessly and not facing the same questions yourself.
Now be honest with me 100% and answer on this question. JUST SAY YES OR NO.
Have you ever considered to marry a man who was NOT a member of your religion? Would you marry a man who was not of your religion? Have you married a man of your religion? Why?
Now, you know I know Egyptian culture. So how much I know Egyptian culture, I know even better American and mine even 10 times better.
1st of I know 1/2 of people here have some preferences in regards of something. So why do you feel you have right to object mine and you forget yours?
When you chose to marry a man who belongs specifically to your religion, I did not tell you this was dumb. I also did not tell you are prejudiced for wanting to be married to someone who reflects YOUR CULTURE, RELIGION OR VALUES.
Now how many times I need to repeat reason why I am not attracted to American men? Alistar would you please repeat for me, I am sure you absorbed my post in depth Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Correct me if I`m wrong, LML, but I didnt ask you ONE single personal question. You seem to make this topic personal, thats all. I have absolutely no need to comment my personal choices in life with a total stranger. Its not of your business. I asked you about the role that American women are playing in the rates you mentioned, and was trying to make you aware of the fact that you`re making false assumptions.In vain, because reason seems to be gone. Do me a favour and close the case, please...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
You want to know what the REAL problem is with relationships in America?
It's nothing to do with American men, or women..
Instead, the problem I believe centers around the hectic lifestyle of our country, and it's materialistic culture.
America is an extremely fast faced Society, where everything and everyone is always on the go.
There is hardly any time for real relationships, for raising children, for rest and relaxation even.
Somewhere along the line, America forgot the simple pleasures of life and instead, began focusing on the almighty dollar; at the expense of all else.
We have the most powerful Economy in the World for a REASON.....we are sleep deprived workoholics.
When women began to join the work force en masse in the 70s, the already burgeoning problem simply became exacerbated.
Instead of women staying at home and raising the children, they were now out in the work force trying to catch up with men.....and not entirely for selfish reasons either.
One salary was no longer enough to live on for the average American middle class family.
Now both mom and dad were working 8hr shifts to bring home the bacon.
Who was raising little Sammy and Daisy at home you ask?
No one. Instead, people paid others to raise their own children.
Indeed, daycare is now a thriving business in the U.S.
So with all of this, how can one not expect the quality of relationships in the U.S to diminish?
Before you go running your mouth off about things you don't know lovingmylife, do some fricken research.
There are reasons for the status quo in America.
American men are no different than any other men on planet Earth.
What differentiates us rather, is the environment we live in. It's our environment that shapes us, and makes us what we are.
EVERY DEVELOPED NATION has the same afflictions that the U.S has.
This is the curse of modernization and economic growth.
Egypt, being a developing nation isn't saddled with this affliction..
If Egypt ever does experience a vast economic boom, you can be sure, that the social issues you see here in the West, would soon become common place there aswell.
On the other hand, Egypt and other developing nations are faced with social issues of their own.
No nation, or culture is perfect, of that we can be sure.
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: Prince of Nothing, give it up! She is not attracted to you simply because you carry an American passport. Move on!
posted
To ????? Well the answer is obvious even if you don't say it openly. You have a choice to be "real you" and say whatever you really believe ( like myself ), and you have a choice to say what is "politically correct" to say to avoid any conflicts and to please the audience.
I think audience is more pleased when you are honest even when what you have to say is not necessarily what they like to hear.
What I sad is truth. It's my truth. I have never been attracted to American men, and I know why. I thought you value the truth. I am not going to pretend now that I am so crazy about American men when I am not.
So if I said what I feel, I don't deserve to be "judged" by my personal preference especially if every single person here have a personal preference about something in their life. For instance, Prince of Nothing would probably never marry a Muslim woman. Am I right Prince? I think I am.
I know that "all american men" are not this or that, I am not that dumb. I know that. However despite the fact that all are not like that I still don't feel it. When it comes to love, dating and marriage, I see NO CONNECTION.
I want someone with whom I have connection, and that someone can never be American, because again we differ culturally in matters of love, dating, and marriage.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Prince of Nothing: Somewhere along the line, America forgot the simple pleasures of life and instead, began focusing on the almighty dollar; at the expense of all else.
Same exact thing goes on here, marriage in egypt is basically a business deal.
Posts: 2404 | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Prince of Nothing: It's nothing to do with American men, or women..
It's everything to do with American men.
Thanks for acknowledging that America has problem in regards of all you have mentioned, however it's not environment, it's American men that is responsible.
The environment is bad in other places too, however people are not so eager to abandon their children.
American values and culture in regards of dating, love and marriage is not the best in the world. There are better values and better cultures.
Let me give you an example. For me is abnormal and insulting to hear that a woman who works in my place confided to me that she was having sexual relationship primarilly for 5 years with her now "husband" because he would not date her for real.
After 5 years when he saw he can't find anyone else, she gave him ultimatum, they married in Las Vegas. It was phony marriage, now they have a child.
To you, to her, to him and to America, this is a norm.
Sorry buddy to me this is an insult.
I can not imagine a man or woman being in primarily sexual relationship without any feelings whatsover ( for benefits only ) because this opposes my VALUES!
This is just 1 of 10000 examples I can mention to prove my case.
I have never heard American telling a woman, "don't see me as sex machine I am human with feelings who wants to love 1st".
This was written by a man from another culture.
Ok? So don't be mad. Try to understand other people's perspectives.
You believe in different things, you value different things, you want diffeerent things and you have never experenced love, dating and marriage in any other culture except your own, so for you I don't blame you this is all you know and all you want to believe in. But for me it's not. I was exposed to many different values and manny different cultures in regards of love, dating and marriage and I would not settle for what you would settle because I have tasted - better.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
LML May I ask which part (state) of America you are from? Also, why would a marriage in Vegas not be real?
The way you speak one who didn't know better might assume American men have no values or feelings except as they relate to sex. Surely you don't mean to say that, right? Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Can a marriage between f/budies (for benefits) be real? Good question. What do you think? If you have relationship of 5 years in which you and him are "f/buddies" ( he won't date you seriously ) and after 5 years, you tell him, that's it, either date or it's over, and then he gets drunk and takes you to Vegas to marry you, would such marriage be real to you?
I speak of what they speak. I do agree American family, love, dating and marriage values seems to be inferior in comparison with values of other cultures.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
I wanted to marry in Vegas..... and ended up in Denmark. Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I heard, is it true TL that priests in Vegas when you want to marry ( for those who marry in chapel ) actually ask you for tip $50 - $250 Dollars just to marry you, in addition to registration?
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
I have no clue what you're talking about...what is "f/budie"? Also I cannot fathom how anybody would be with a guy who won't date her, if she just hangs around him for sex for five years then is one day insulted that he gets drunk and marries her not knowing what he's doing, ummm, real? Yea, it's real...legally. It's also intellectually real stupid.
I disagree with you about American family/love/dating/marriage values being inferior in comparison with values of other cultures...it depends on your perspective. American families are made up of a number of different cultures which are quite complex and one does not mirror the next by any stretch of the imagination.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by lovingmylife: To ????? Well the answer is obvious even if you don't say it openly. You have a choice to be "real you" and say whatever you really believe ( like myself ), and you have a choice to say what is "politically correct" to say to avoid any conflicts and to please the audience.
I think audience is more pleased when you are honest even when what you have to say is not necessarily what they like to hear.
What I sad is truth. It's my truth. I have never been attracted to American men, and I know why. I thought you value the truth. I am not going to pretend now that I am so crazy about American men when I am not.
So if I said what I feel, I don't deserve to be "judged" by my personal preference especially if every single person here have a personal preference about something in their life. For instance, Prince of Nothing would probably never marry a Muslim woman. Am I right Prince? I think I am.
I know that "all american men" are not this or that, I am not that dumb. I know that. However despite the fact that all are not like that I still don't feel it. When it comes to love, dating and marriage, I see NO CONNECTION.
I want someone with whom I have connection, and that someone can never be American, because again we differ culturally in matters of love, dating, and marriage.
You`re jumping into wrong conclusions all the time, and you`re making it personal all the time. I don`t see what religion has to do with this, and I don`t see what my ond your personal circumstances have to do with it either. You`re taking a number of statistics, take out the high ratings and make the conclusion that these numbers are all because of the incapability of American men. Then you`re mixing it with statements about my personal life, while I am not relevant to this statistics, later you even mix my religion in it, which is not relevant either... I dont know WHAT you have in mind, but I can tell you this: you are making wrong conclusions. About me, about American men, and about marriage in common.
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
The facts are that number of Single Moms is 10 millions, that one in two children will live in a single-parent family at some point in childhood, and one in three children is born to unmarried parents.
To me these facts are reflection of american family/love/dating/marriage values and culture of love and marriage. This is what you get at the end. So what kind of values gets you to this level? Great values, no values, some values, low values...
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by lovingmylife: Sure you can disagree.
The facts are that number of Single Moms is 10 millions, that one in two children will live in a single-parent family at some point in childhood, and one in three children is born to unmarried parents.
To me these facts are reflection of american family/love/dating/marriage values and culture of love and marriage. This is what you get at the end. So what kind of values gets you to this level? Great values, no values, some values, low values...
You have to let us know where you're getting your stats from, you can't just say something without letting us know where the numbers came from. I'm not saying your stats aren't real, but people often like to see where they came from and who did the research, etc.
I'm trying to stay open to your idea of the lack of values placed on marriage/love/relationships in America as opposed to other cultures. Can you give me some examples of what you mean?
Also, which state are you from?
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by lovingmylife: No, no I AGREE with you.
However, it's not that I intentionally decided 10 years ago this is how it will be.
It's something that took place over the years based on the fact that American men really don't have what it takes for me to be attracted to them.
My attraction feelings towards American men are - non existing. You can put the most attractive smartes American next to me, I may be flattered, but I would not want him. I guess I need more depth in a man than simply what American men have to offer.
We differ so much culturally.
I do respect and understand other women who are in love with American man, but this have never happend to me. I know why. Because American culture of love, dating, and marriage is not what I would settle for, so obviously I see no point.
I predict you will meet an American man, fall in love, get married, and have 17 children. LOL
In my experience, people have the tendency to eat their words, when their so dead set against something.
I do agree with a lot of what you say. Because it has been in my realm of experience. But it is generalizing, and stereotypical.
I believe that you should love or not love a person for the person he is not his nationality. Or the "idea" of what he is good or bad.
That's like saying, all arab men are terrorists, and I could never love one because of that.
Anyway, I started out trying to be funny, and got carried away. Sorry, forgive me. Don't attack me, I'm a very sensitive American woman, that's not typical is it? LOL!
Posts: 256 | Registered: Dec 2006
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
. Souri, seriously, have you ever date or were seriously involved with one? And if so is one bad experience allowing you to form such a generalization or is it all hearsay?
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Surely you don't mean to say that, right? ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic