posted
What needs to be highlighted also, is why so many people don't stand up to their family, in defense of their own happiness. It can come as a shock to many, maybe, but in reality they are 'convinced' that their family/blood want their best interest even if...their heart is aching.
Marrying a cousin in Egypt, for many families, is mainly protection, and in most cases a guarantee that the couple will take care of each other..after all : same blood. That is the mentality.
M & S will move on eventually, even if she will always cherish him in her heart. She has to look out for her wellbeing. But it is too early yet.
Posts: 919 | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
Thank you Almaz, you have been understanding of my feelings during these past few days and I appreciate that.
That does not mean I do not appreciate the harsh words of reality from others on the forum, it has and does give me food for thought. This will and has enabled me to put questions that have been raised to my love, which has has in turn helped me to put things more into perspective.
Unfortunately i am not at the stage of being able to be completely logical about this situation as yet, maybe it is in the early stages of what can and should happen for the best in the future.
I know that in reality I should move on from this but when you have planned for so much in your future, a whole new way of life which I had been preparing for for a long time, for all this to be taken away suddenly is difficult for me to come to terms with.
Posts: 20 | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
Feelings... you're flowing on only feelings and words. Almaz is a psychologist, and she is expierenced in people who are not able to manage their feelings in the way it should be. So, she might use other words as the average board-member will do. She is using her professional way to communicate, as also I do. ( BUT, I'm not a psychologist and I'm using a more harder way to express.) Nevertheless we all say the same things. Almaz has used another packing, maybe her wrap-up-paper is pink, with a nice card on it, Shirley Valentine used a common wrap, and in my case it's just the box.... but IN the box is the same as everybody else has said: quit your relationship with a man that made his choice, and this choice wasn't you!!!! Your feelings are telling you something different, and he make you feel this way, but after all, his acts are different as his words!!! (As somebody said nicely) Remaining contact on daily base to hear what he has to say about his marriage, about his feelings, about his so-called misery, is not going to change the situation, it only will become more difficult for you!!!! You have to think about what you want and what you can get. You want him, but he isn't free. In the most positive situation you can get a status as a second wife in Egypt, or a illegal wife when you get him to the UK. In all cases you have to share him with his cousin. You will not be accepted by any Egyptian. The Egyptian wife will be a victim too, and believe me, I know how she will feel and how hopeless this situations can be, for ALL who are involved. You never will be happy by this. The whole family and everybody around will blame you for it. Not him, he's a man. They will say it is not right, but the biggest blame will be on you. Family is on the first place, always and ever. So, if you want to drown in misery, go ahead, and talk to him as you do now. Situation will become worser and worser for you. I expect that you should like your acts would lead you to the positive way.... There is no. You're walking in a dead-end-street. Turn around and take another way.
NB.: The topic title is "My heart is breaking"... think carefully about WHO broke it... Not his family...HE did...and every day again he is breaking a little bit more of it. And the only one who can stop this, is yourself...
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
Do not worry M & S, marrying cousins is tradition is Egypt. I have asked my Egyptian man, and he told me that his mom asked him to marry one of his cousins since 7 years ago.
Posts: 756 | From: ...be solution... | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Words spoken very well Trust me he did this. I was in misery for awhile but when reality sinks in, you will always have that special place for the love you shared, memories, just cherish those and move on as alot of us have had to do. In the beginning very hard, but each day grow stronger you will get by this I PROMISE YOU. lETS TALK SOMETIME. GOD BLESS
-------------------- Brenda Posts: 73 | From: United States | Registered: Jul 2004
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