posted
Hi everyone. I need some advice. I am 25 years old with a 5 year old daughter. I been with an egyptian man for a while but now he wants me to move out there to marry him and live with him in Cario or surrounding areas. I need to talk to someone who has done this themselves and can advice me or talk some sense into me. I have read the horror stories of people who have dropped everything to move abroad and marry in another country. I am an experienced traveler so my concern is more for my daughter. Where will she go to school. What will her education be like. Which are the best areas for families, do i have no rights at all? All advice is needed. Thank you
Vicci x
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
I did it, its not easy at all and totally different to a holiday, Reality is somthing else. My advice would be take another holiday, meet all the family ect. Almaz has the best questions, ask all these and go for a break, and then decide
posted
I have told him that i want to spend more time with him before i get married. All my life i have said i am not going to marry anyone i just dont beleive in it, but i understand that to be accepted we must marry so i am willing to do that for him. Why the rush? When i suggested moving out there and dating him for a while he said that if i was really uncomfortable with it we could marry and then live in seperate appartments whilst we got to know each other better.
It is still early days for me really. He is going home to his family this week and will be telling all about me tomorrow but i am a little scared for him. He said his family will be mad but he believes that they will just want him to be happy.
When i asked where we would live he suggested Cario but having looked up Maadi i love the look of there. I'm guessing its an expensive area. What are the jobs like there. I have an open CV. I work as a recruitment consultant now but i am trained to work with kids, as a travel rep, tour guide, any sales or office jobs. I need to work to keep my sanity.
I spoke to him last night and suggested i come back to egypt in May for another hoilday and see how things go. But how well can you get to know someone when you cannot be alone together and have never even kissed.
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
Sorry forgot to say yes he works as a musician. He is very shy though.
Also i have been researching schools and the french ones seem to be the best ones. Am i right in thinking that
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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Look as you state yourself you need more time before making any decision to get married.
And yes, Maadi is an expensive place. Also remember if locally hired you will only make a minimum of what your salary is right now in the UK. Think about all the benefits you receive while working - in Egypt forget about it.
I very much noticed that the welfare and education of your daughter has priority above anything and this is good to hear. There are great schools out in Cairo (British curriculum also) but also here the fact is that they are very expensive and not affordable by a normal Egyptian salary.
I do hope your Egyptian boyfriend has very well financial resources otherwise it will be up to you to pay everything what comes up on a daily base.
The other thing you need to confront yourself is IF you can live in a Muslim country. Remember being on holiday and actually living in Egypt for years are two pair of shoes.
What is your own religion? Would you boyfriend like to see that you take up Islam once you are getting married?
There are so many things to consider. I think best is if you go on a visit to Cairo, see how it looks there, check out Maadi and prices, get in contact with schools, landlords etc. just to get an idea what to expect.
Nethertheless Cairo is awesome and if you haven't seen the Pyramids yet - well then it is your best chance now. Enjoy your trip in May!
Good luck for the future and I hope you three can figure something out what's in the best interest for everybody involved! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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<Think of your daughter before anyone else.>
Put this above all your actions and you will always be sure you took the right decision.
Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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Thank you Tigerlily. Yes my daughter comes 1st in all of this. She has not met him yet and that is my next step. She already has one bad dad, she doesnt need another. But i saw how children were attracted to him and how he was so good with them whilst i was with him. They have spoken over the phone to each other but again that means nothing. I dont think i would be able to handle him paying for anything to do with my daughter so i would take care of that anyway. I know its silly to say that but i cant help being independent when i comes to her because she is and has always been my sole responsibility.
We have not talked about our religous differences. I have been baptised into the christian faith but have never really practiced. I would be willing to take up Islam for his sake but so far he has never asked me to. I am so naive when i comes to muslim countries. Having been brought up near Bradford i have only ever known british muslims which seem to be a whole different league. Egyptians seem a lot more pure, innocent and peaceful in their religion.
I dont know about other finances. He said he normal teaches in a school but his music is more of a summer job and something he enjoys doing more. I dont know if he comes from money either. His brother lives in Saudi and his sister has just moved to Daubi. His parents live in Sharqya.
I have never been to Cairo so i look forward to exploring it although when we go next we will be staying in Alexandria. Which i am lead to beleive is a lot more medditeranian.
Vicci x
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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How well do you know him? His family, how much money does he make? Will he be able to make enough to send your daughter to a good enough school and will your daughter learn Arabic? What about her other family? Her father, grandparents? Do you think his family will embrace her as their own? tisk tisk tisk sadly, most likely they will not.
You will convert for him? You must be insane. You will raise your own daughter to live as a Muslim girl? Do you know the hardships on women in Egypt? Five years old is a sensitive enough age be treking all over the world in search for Mr. Right but what happens if things don't work out? You will take her back and she 'just has to adjust' ? Why don't you try living in Egypt ON YOUR OWN for a month or so, see if her grandparents can keep her a while and you take a long vacation to make the best decision. Will you be able to handle the culture shock? I could hardly do it and didn't have a young child from another country in tow.
It's hard, I've hardly heard of people with children that did it and suceeded, it's a long shot. Is your daughter worth a long shot or are you putting your wants ahead of that? Just questions to ask yourself.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: Where to begin:
How well do you know him? His family, how much money does he make? Will he be able to make enough to send your daughter to a good enough school and will your daughter learn Arabic? What about her other family? Her father, grandparents? Do you think his family will embrace her as their own? tisk tisk tisk sadly, most likely they will not.
You will convert for him? You must be insane. You will raise your own daughter to live as a Muslim girl? Do you know the hardships on women in Egypt? Five years old is a sensitive enough age be treking all over the world in search for Mr. Right but what happens if things don't work out? You will take her back and she 'just has to adjust' ? Why don't you try living in Egypt ON YOUR OWN for a month or so, see if her grandparents can keep her a while and you take a long vacation to make the best decision. Will you be able to handle the culture shock? I could hardly do it and didn't have a young child from another country in tow.
It's hard, I've hardly heard of people with children that did it and suceeded, it's a long shot. Is your daughter worth a long shot or are you putting your wants ahead of that? Just questions to ask yourself.
agree with everything in this post. Especially the comments about your daughter. please explore on your own before making such a huge decision.
Posts: 712 | From: Hurghada | Registered: Aug 2006
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I dont think i could leave here for a month and i feel if i was going to do it i would want her there with me so i can see how she feels, thinks and settles etc. If i went over for a month without her it would be a false judgement. I could go over and have an amazing month out there thinking wow this is great and then bring her over to find out she hates it and wants to go home. When i next go it is only a holiday and she will be with me then. She will not know him as a lover or partner because we have not got to that stage yet. He will just be a friend so as to not upset her. I will not be giving up my apartment in England because then i have a place to stay when i come home. Although i do like your idea of only going for a month to see how we settle in. I could do this in the 6 week holidays. My job is safe for me to return to when i come home.
No i would never expect his family to accept me or my daughter. But this something i face (in a lesser degree) in England. She has a large, close family. Except her father. We speak once a month but he has a new family and does not have time for her. She may even see more of him this way. Her grandparents well one side would visit a few times a year as they have the money and time to do this and the other side will see her when i come back to England. OK now i am talking like i am going to move there which so far i have still not deceided.
As i said i am new to the culture and religion. I dont know enough about it and dont know if i beleive in any gods but i am open minded. I would not force any religion on my daughter but i would expect her to respect the culture. She is a very polite and respectful young lady and like me she adapts very well to new surroundings, languages and people. We are very close and if she is unhappy during the time we spend there i would choose her over him anyday.
Thank you smuckers i do apperciate your comments. I want all sides and all the information before i do anything. I refuse to be lead by my heart and will think everything through before i do anything.
Vicci x
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
Vicci, the financial part is a real important issue just to highlighten this fact one more time. If you are well situated with money you can buy A LOT of comfort in Egypt but if you don't have it you gonna suffer and you always gonna think that you had it so much better before.
If you really serious with him enter together a committed relationship, marry each other and bring him over to the UK at one point. If you consider doing that people will be here to guide you through the visa process with valuable tips.
Well then you got time to make up your mind, don't let anyone force you. Good luck again.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Thank you Tigerlily. I dont think he has any interest in living in England. When i we were talking one night he said England just didnt seem like somewhere he wanted to live. He was more interested in Germany, Italy or France. How easy would it be for him to get a visa for there. At least then it wont be so much of a culture shock and i could be home in a few hours in an emergency
Vicci x
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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I'm going to try to answer/help you bit by bit so here goes:
quote: I dont think i could leave here for a month and i feel if i was going to do it i would want her there with me so i can see how she feels, thinks and settles etc. If i went over for a month without her it would be a false judgement. I could go over and have an amazing month out there thinking wow this is great and then bring her over to find out she hates it and wants to go home.
First, she is five. You could hardly take her opinion at five. You say you don't think you could leave there for a month, so how could she get a feel for where she will live the rest of her life? You take a child on vacation and ask 'would you like to live here?' what do you think she would say? She is not mature enough to make these sorts of decisions for herself so she relies on YOU to do that for her. There are so many things about this soceity that 2 1/2 years after moving here I am still finding out and believe me, it is going to be completely backwards to you. I don't care where you live or how well you live. Your daughter would have a much better life and opportunities where she lives now.
Who will she play with? What will you do when she realizes she misses her home/family and cries at night because she feels so different here and misses her grandparents/uncles/aunts/cousins? Will you simply say, 'but you said you liked it here, too late'?
quote: No i would never expect his family to accept me or my daughter. But this something i face (in a lesser degree) in England. She has a large, close family.
You cannot compare England to Egypt except that both begin with the letter "E". You cannot imagine how difficult your time might be if his family doesn't accept her 100% and have you considered how the locals will view you? It isn't the same by a longshot and if you say you don't care, believe me, you WILL CARE. A woman who comes to a marriage as a foreigner is difficult enough, a child from a previous marriage...I couldn't imagine. It would be one thing if she were grown but she's still so young.
quote:As i said i am new to the culture and religion. I dont know enough about it and dont know if i beleive in any gods but i am open minded.
LEARN NOW. Choosing Islam as a willing and wanting convert brings with it many stigmas and hurdles to overcome and if you convert simply to marry, you're doing it for the wrong reason and BELIEVE ME they will expect you to hold true to those values and beliefs (most likely). Of course he would want your children to be Muslims and how will you teach them if you don't know if you even believe in a God? Have you spoken to him about this? As a Muslim man he cannot marry an athiest. The chances of you coming full circle from not even knowing if you believe in any God's to embracing Islam are a lot to ask and especially with a 5 year old daughter with you. Islam is a way of life, there is A LOT to know, this is not something to be taken lightly. People may wonder why, if you converted, you don't feel it is important enough to raise your own daughter Muslim, but it is something you are willing to do with children you have with him? Strange.
Naturally every situation is different and it does sound like you're trying to get the best perspective before jumping into things but you should SERIOUSLY think things over very well. As hard as you think it will be, you will probably end up wishing it were that easy. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Look, obviously he didn't hear many good things about England so far so if you want to make this option work it's your turn. Get in depth talk with him about living in the UK. Show and explain things to him.
What good it is if you move together to Germany or France - this would mean a big change for all three of you involved.
Btw, tell him Germany is not great either, it's bloody expensive, many people are just damn self-centered and unfriendly and the weather sucks almost through the whole year. Hope that helps!
You know at least in the UK you have safety, especially in the beginning if he would come to live with you guys you could provide until he found his way in the new environment, adapted to all the different things and found a job. You could keep your work and your daughter would still be visiting the same area KG and later on school. Everything would be the same expect you are married now and your daughter has a new daddy.
Btw, your boyfriend can make music also in Bradford, right? Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Say come for a month, then three months, then six months. That will help you get an insight into the country before making a decision. This is what I did, but I did not have children who needed me, I waited till they were all grown up
But you have a daughter she should come before all else....even you....
Posts: 643 | From: Over there | Registered: Aug 2007
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Thank you Smuckers. Wow thats a lot to take in.
I would not take her word on her saying she wants to go to egypt because she has never been and already she keeps asking when we are moving there. haha. I was thinking more on the lines of watching her there for a month. As you say, seeing if she cries at night, misses her other family, is treated badly by other children, locals or his family. I feel sick everytime i think about him talking to them about me. This time tomorrow it could all be over as they may tell him to forget me. I just dont know.
So far he has never asked me to convert religion. To be honest he has never really spoken about it at all. I dont know how strict his upbringing was. We were talking to a guy one night who was very firm on his beliefs and was trying to explain the culture differences. He was telling me how he would be expected to behave if his son came home with an english girl (shoot him) and if his daughter was un married and had a child like me (burried in the desert and stoned until death). This terrified me but Yahia said not to worry as he was an extreamist from a small village and there is more freedom in the cities. Is any of this true? Are there any areas that are more relaxed, where we would fit in better, or is this Egypt in general.
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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Your daughter is already joking and asking 'when are we moving there?'...so I am guessing you have already either discussed this with her or she overheard you. I don't know why that would be - you should never ask children to deal with grown-up problems/issues. If you haven't yet decided then why involve her? It is a serious matter and the fact that you saw it as cute that she asked 'when are we moving' is upsetting. True, it could all crash and burn at this point, but my guess is that it will not. My guess is that they would be 'overjoyed'.
I find it odd that he would insist he doesn't want to live in England - and I seriously doubt that. MOST Egyptian men want to leave Egypt, the economy is not good here, the way of life, the education (generally), the government, the poor hygeine conditions here, I could go on and on. Even my own my husband basically said of course he wouldn't mind leaving but that is a decision we could both make together one day, and if that day doesn't come - so be it. But our decision was a lot to do with religion and it remains that way today. Everyone is different and you have to think in a realistic way what it is he wants. Most likely he hopes you won't be able to live here or your daughter will hate it and you will take him back with you...just hope he doesn't plan to jump ship once he gets there and go to Italy or Germany or France.....
As far as the opinions of that man, well, I don't know about that...there are crazies everywhere. But you should ask him if you both have a daughter how he WOULD react if she came home with a boyfriend one day, how he WOULD react if his son was running around with girls, etc. Speak to him about female genital mutulitation and get his opinions...there are SO many things you don't know about~
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Tigerlily, yes i will talk to him more about england although to be honest i'm not a lover of here anyway. It seems to get worse here by the day. With more children going missing, rapes and murders on the doorstep. I might not be the best person to sell my country. What if he came to England and i couldnt make him happy. I am a recruitment consultant in an agency and i work with people from all over the world but mainly polish, african and the middle east. I know how they are treated here. They could be doctors, teachers, managers etc but they come to england and they get put in a production line packing boxes on min wage. He has too much about him to do that.
Pink Cherry. I like your suggestion I will keep that in mind. What about the marriage though. Should i marry him and then start to move over slowly or should i wait. How much does an egyptian marriage mean in English Law.
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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Smuckers, No your right, there is so much i dont know, but this is why i am putting my life up on display for you all to judge me and comment on my role as a mother. Yes i have thought about the fact that if i brought him over here he might jump ship, he only wants me for a visa, money etc. But as new to egyptian men/culture and that side of things i am no fool. Again this is why i have come here to ask for your views about it all because most of you have the experience i lack.
Yes i think he would like to leave Egypt just not to England. I would like to leave England but i dont fancy moving to Spain. Its just a choice of destionation.
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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I dont know. He seems to do alright for himself. As i said he talks of it as a summer job. His main job is a teacher
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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What type of a teacher is he? I mean what is his degree? What sort of musician, like for weddings?
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by miffmiss: I dont know. He seems to do alright for himself. As i said he talks of it as a summer job. His main job is a teacher
Teacher don't make any money in Egypt unless they give private tuitions.
I would think that any musician would make more money than an ordinary teacher.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by miffmiss: I dont know. He seems to do alright for himself. As i said he talks of it as a summer job. His main job is a teacher
Teacher don't make any money in Egypt unless they give private tuitions.
That's right. I met a teacher when I was in Sharm and he was working in ... a souvenir shop. He was young and from Cairo and said teacher's pay is low in Egypt - that's why he gave up this job. Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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He works in a hotel in Marsalama and then in a private club in Cario. He plays guitar, keyboard and sings. He does it with his 2 friends. His main role in the group is Guitarist.
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by miffmiss: I dont know. He seems to do alright for himself. As i said he talks of it as a summer job. His main job is a teacher
Where does he teach?? Teachers do not earn very much in Egypt either. In my opinion you have too little information about anything. Slow down go there and have a look, have you ever been to Egypt? Slow down and learn more.
Posts: 523 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2004
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Vicci, I think you must make him understandable that you don't have the financial means to move to Egypt as it would be too expensive and complicated. Sure you could leave all behind and just move there - but since you have a child there is so much more to look out for. And I know you are responsible otherwise you wouldn't have come here to ask us all these questions.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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mimmi, I dont know exactly where he teaches. When he was trying to talk me into moving one night i said i would hate being alone all the time whilst he was in the hotel. He said he would give it up and go back to teaching in Cario. To be honest it was the 1st i had heard about it.
Your right i dont know enough about him. This is one of my biggest problems. I want to take things at a snails pace but he is planning our lives ahead of us. I have read in goingtheres post that this is more the egyptian way. Without completly insulting him could i say i will spend a lot of time out there but i dont want to get married yet. Whats the rush? Surely its not just so we can have physical contact (and before you say it smuckers A VISA).
Vicci x
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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I would definitely tell him you want to take it slowly. I wouldn't recommend a move anytime soon. How long have you known him BTW?
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by miffmiss: He does it with his 2 friends. His main role in the group is Guitarist.
Are they an official group, or do they just play musiv privately? If they are a band, do you know what their name is?
Posts: 3587 | Registered: Mar 2006
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What is BTW sorry not one i have heard before.
8 months since we meet but i have only been with him for 3 weeks of that time. The rest has been text and emails. I know its too soon. I aint gonna drop everything and go but i want to understand him better. Who better to ask that you lot?
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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[/QUOTE]Are they an official group, or do they just play musiv privately? If they are a band, do you know what their name is? [/QB][/QUOTE]
Again this is where i dont know him well enough. I dont know. I never even asked what their group is called
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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Omggg you do not know anything about him. I can't believe he is even bringing up this idea with you and (for that matter) that you told your daughter about it. Look, working in hotels isn't always the kiss of death but it isn't a good sign. Egypt is notorious for playboys and most of them work in resorts and/or at hotels. I'm worried about this already.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Hey, Smuckers, give her a break. Yes many Egyptian guys - especially the ones working in tourism - are opportunity seekers BUT we don't know him. I seriously think he's quite young - as she is - he doesn't really have plans. He definitely didn't hook up with her because he wants to live in Britain. So I give him the benefit of the doubt that he has good intentions with her.
Look, Vicci, don't make any plans and stop thinking about moving to Egypt very soon. I know it sounds adventurous, it would be a great and interesting change in life but you can't do this as you are not single and alone by yourself.
Just go and visit him again in two months, enjoy Alex and don't think any further for the timebeing.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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My daughter and i talk about everything and if she asks me a question i give her an answer as close to the truth as i can. She wanted to see my holiday pictures and talk about things. She asked who everyone was and i told her he was one of my friends. That is all she knows. She can name everyone in every picture because she enjoys looking at them. I recorded some video of them singing because she loves music and songs. She watches them a lot and knows most of the songs by heart. That is the way she is and it is something she enjoys doing. She asked me if we could go there one day and i said yes if you want to. Because we moved house recently everything is can we move there. I have never sat her down and said this is the situation, do you want to go because that would put her into an adults shoes and i am a firm believer in let kids be kids.
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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I don't believe in encouraging people where the end of the road looks like it will probably be dark. There is always a chance it will turn out well but there is a young child involved in this so it's best go give it to her straight. The fact that he works in a hotel, makes cash with his 3 man band and she knows so little about him is not good.
I do recommend visiting him more and IN DEPTH...
If it were just the girl I would say 'go for it if you think things might work out and be cautious' but a child involved, no way.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Orfi marriage so they can get to know each other more??
Seriously that's what the problem with many ladies is on here meeting guys while on vacation. None of them can be 100% sure what the real intentions of their men are.
Some women even fly all the way to Egypt to marry a man they have never met before - this for me is way more frightening to hear.
And seriously I don't see any problem about the work he's doing. Many people in Egypt get by with two or three jobs. I'd be way more concerned if he was unemployed, telling her his undying love and pushing her to marry and bring him over to the UK.
I don't think it's the case here. I actually believe he likes to live in Egypt, he's content and likes what he's doing for life, he's most probably uncertain of the outside world.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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By in depth I mean to meet his family, see where he lives if possible, find out as much about where she may be living if that is the way she chooses to proceed.
What did you think I meant??!! Dirty mind.
I agree it isn't for sure he's some playboy but since there is a child involved it is best to tell her the real possibility of what could be going on. There's nothing wrong in that. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: What did you think I meant??!! Dirty mind.
Yes, I know!!
Seriously I am not sugar coating anything for her here. For me it would be a total different issue if she was f. e. employed by a foreign company/organization, she would make a good salary and her employer would pay for housing and schooling for her daughter but that's not the case here.
Believe me, Vicci, the thought of living in Cairo is an extremely exciting one (even still for me) but only with the right finances.
Good luck with your decision making. I need to go shopping now!
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I'm getting into something i dont know. I can play with English men like toys and predict their behaviour but i dont know men from other cultures.
A friend of mine fell for a guy in Turkey and i told her she was crazy. He only wanted her for money and a visa. I was so cruel now that i look back on it because i had never even met him. It was the same reaction i had when i 1st met my guy. My friends had been to the resort 4 weeks earlier and told me all about the singer and keyboard player. They mentioned a guitar player but said he never came out with them. When i went back with them 4 weeks later the girls introduced us. We spent the week with touchy feely waiters, shop keepers and secruity gaurds trying it on and passing us their numbers on pieces of paper. He wasnt like that. For the 1st 2 days he would look, smile, go bright red and turn away. He didnt meet us on a night with the other guys. We were swapping numbers one day and he asked me for mine again whilst going bright red. Then the following day i got a message saying "i'm going to miss you when you leave". Other than a few messages and lots of shy smiles that was it. Since then i have been back twice. Again keeping it all innocent but spending a bit more time together, helping him with his english, playing tennis, pool, teaching me the guitar, chess etc.
As far as i was concerned i had a crush on a shy guy but his messages as so loving, filled with plans and when i leave he is as sad as me.
I always expect the worst in men i just dont think he is a bad one. I dont know why i would think that because it just isnt me. He just seems so...... i dont know. Nice ha ha how lame.
I have only just returned from the last holiday so you have all put my feet back on the ground again. Dont worry i aint moving there now. I will just spend time on holidays with him and enjoy it for what it is. For now.
Vicci x
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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Sounds like you have made the right decision. Can I just tell you the following as well. 1) most people live in flats so you would not have a garden for your daughter to live in. 2) Lot of pollution in Cairo. 3) The most salary he could expect to receive as a teacher is not a lot. Between 250LE and 1000LE if he is lucky. 4) If he worked in an international school he would earn more. 5) The culture shock can be really hard. I have lived her for a year now. Get used to being looked at all the time, people making comments. (by the way I like it here now I am used to it). 6) I had 4 holidays here. I worked for 3 months at one time. However, living full time is really different. 7) Egyptian men are soooo poetic and romantic and make you feel like nobody else. BUT, they can be quite controlling. They always want to know where you are, who you are with, dont stay out late. This is in their eyes, showing they love you, but can be really claustrophobic!! Often they dont like you to go out with friends. 8) Good points: I feel very safe here and Egyptians are very friendly.
Posts: 233 | From: uk | Registered: Aug 2006
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You don't have to rush into marriage. Egyptians remain engaged for years while they get themselves established with a home, good jobs etc.
If you intend to move you will need a good job that will pay the school fees. As far as I can see, that's you're biggest hurdle. You can live here independently with your daughter as you get to know this man, for however long it takes. But what kind of job will get you that kind of money? Fees in a British school will be in the range of 3000-8000 sterling. Only an ex-pat job will make you that kind of money.
By all means visit in the summer with your daughter, live independently in a flat and see how it goes.
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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