posted
Well, after all this looks like I can add my name to the list of westerners screwed by Egyptian men. 4.5 years and two kids later, after all we been through, he finally tells me (7 months after arriving in Canada) that being "successful" in Canada is more important than staying together and that he cannot study with a family around and he just must be a doctor here because he was one in Egypt and that it is his priority!
Good luck to him...shame for his little boys though. As for me, I take away a major life experience of living abroad in Egypt for 4 years and experiencing something vastly different than what I knew before. Time to remeber who I am and all that I lost to make him satsified from me, because I was never good enough in anything.
I am not that naive in general so it really can happen to anyone, I mean we lived togther and had two kids in his country and suffered through so much and now in the end it is only finally clear now what his motivations were.
For the few good people who know me here, I think you know a lot of what has been going on over the years and you have been there through thick and thin...never forgotten, none of you!
I am facing huge changes and adjustments now and I wish this doesn't happen to anyone else, especially innocent children!
Some people will really do anything, walk on anyone and destroy other people to reach their goals.
I think my life is pretty screwed up right now and so are my children's lives, but, I hope to overcome this and come out on top for myself and my boys.
Naturally, I am very angry and hurt and not sure how I should feel...this is humiliating, scary with the future ahead of me and starting over is hard to do.
Well, never thought I would write this, but, I am just another brick in the wall. Still don't have nothing against Egyptian men, just the one I chose to marry.
For God sake women, don't give anyone anything of yourself...if a man loves you, he will never but you below his feet or make you feel obligated to do anything for him! I feel I am being liberated from slavery, just looking back at the whole process...things are always 20/20 in hindsight aren't they?
Posts: 33 | From: Halifax, NS, Canada | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
get rid of the abusive bastard and find a man who will love your sons and treat you like a queen not like a maid. It is his loss not yours. Love your boys and thank god, he did you a favor. Stay stong, you will be fine!
Posts: 1369 | From: California | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
Wow, sad story, what a nightmare. Well you do sound strong even if you dont feel it, I'm sorry this has happened to you but hopefully you will manage just fine on your own. Single mothers can have fantastic relationships with their children, because they have more time to devote to them, and it sounds like you had one of the 'me, me, me' bunch of husbands, so you will have more time to relax and just be 'you, you, you now
Good luck
Posts: 918 | From: Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
Sorry to hear this, but it is better that it happened now . . . you can now move on to a better life focused on the children and not having to please someone who doesn't care about you.
Take care of yourself and those boys!
And go blow up that wall!!! it only holds you back . . . there are great things beyond the wall! Throw a brick at the husband on his way out the door . . Posts: 895 | From: NorthTexas, USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: Well, after all this looks like I can add my name to the list of westerners screwed by Egyptian men. 4.5 years and two kids later, after all we been through, he finally tells me (7 months after arriving in Canada) that being "successful" in Canada is more important than staying together and that he cannot study with a family around and he just must be a doctor here because he was one in Egypt and that it is his priority!
Good luck to him...shame for his little boys though. As for me, I take away a major life experience of living abroad in Egypt for 4 years and experiencing something vastly different than what I knew before. Time to remeber who I am and all that I lost to make him satsified from me, because I was never good enough in anything.
I am not that naive in general so it really can happen to anyone, I mean we lived togther and had two kids in his country and suffered through so much and now in the end it is only finally clear now what his motivations were.
For the few good people who know me here, I think you know a lot of what has been going on over the years and you have been there through thick and thin...never forgotten, none of you!
I am facing huge changes and adjustments now and I wish this doesn't happen to anyone else, especially innocent children!
Some people will really do anything, walk on anyone and destroy other people to reach their goals.
I think my life is pretty screwed up right now and so are my children's lives, but, I hope to overcome this and come out on top for myself and my boys.
Naturally, I am very angry and hurt and not sure how I should feel...this is humiliating, scary with the future ahead of me and starting over is hard to do.
Well, never thought I would write this, but, I am just another brick in the wall. Still don't have nothing against Egyptian men, just the one I chose to marry.
For God sake women, don't give anyone anything of yourself...if a man loves you, he will never but you below his feet or make you feel obligated to do anything for him! I feel I am being liberated from slavery, just looking back at the whole process...things are always 20/20 in hindsight aren't they?
Are you Pregnant Cravings by any chance?
Lets put it this way, stay on good terms with his family, its good for the boys.
In a few years his family will introduce him to a major bitch they just can't marry off completely. Then he'll get his just desserts.
Posts: 1455 | From: debtville | Registered: Dec 2007
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I'm a single mum with a terrific relationship with my 15 yr old son
am now on fairly good terms with his dad, step-mum and often look after their 6 yr old (I'm still hoovering up the crumbs from Tuesday and I'm looking after him Sunday night till Monday night) -
the boys think its great
it was hard at first .............. but now I think I have the best of both worlds:
I still get to spend his money, she has to sleep with him
I can still phone him to pick me up from the station etc
I can still ask him to run errands - if I wanted to ...
IT WILL GET EASIER
may not seem like it now, and if all your dreams are shattered, .... you will will have new dreams. I know you want to keep the old dreams ..... and its difficult to avoid the cliches - but you will be stronger and a better person for this
hang on in there
Posts: 712 | Registered: Apr 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: Well, after all this looks like I can add my name to the list of westerners screwed by Egyptian men. 4.5 years and two kids later, after all we been through, he finally tells me (7 months after arriving in Canada) that being "successful" in Canada is more important than staying together and that he cannot study with a family around and he just must be a doctor here because he was one in Egypt and that it is his priority!
Good luck to him...shame for his little boys though. As for me, I take away a major life experience of living abroad in Egypt for 4 years and experiencing something vastly different than what I knew before. Time to remeber who I am and all that I lost to make him satsified from me, because I was never good enough in anything.
I am not that naive in general so it really can happen to anyone, I mean we lived togther and had two kids in his country and suffered through so much and now in the end it is only finally clear now what his motivations were.
For the few good people who know me here, I think you know a lot of what has been going on over the years and you have been there through thick and thin...never forgotten, none of you!
I am facing huge changes and adjustments now and I wish this doesn't happen to anyone else, especially innocent children!
Some people will really do anything, walk on anyone and destroy other people to reach their goals.
I think my life is pretty screwed up right now and so are my children's lives, but, I hope to overcome this and come out on top for myself and my boys.
Naturally, I am very angry and hurt and not sure how I should feel...this is humiliating, scary with the future ahead of me and starting over is hard to do.
Well, never thought I would write this, but, I am just another brick in the wall. Still don't have nothing against Egyptian men, just the one I chose to marry.
For God sake women, don't give anyone anything of yourself...if a man loves you, he will never but you below his feet or make you feel obligated to do anything for him! I feel I am being liberated from slavery, just looking back at the whole process...things are always 20/20 in hindsight aren't they?
Sorry for this hope you get over it. Any egyptian university graduate especially DOCTORS who can speak some french and worked for two years can easily immigrate to Canada he doesn't need to CON a woman to do so. Wish you the best of luck in your life.
Posts: 211 | From: alexandria | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by ViVa Philip Morries: Sorry for this hope you get over it. Any egyptian university graduate especially DOCTORS who can speak some french and worked for two years can easily immigrate to Canada he doesn't need to CON a woman to do so. Wish you the best of luck in your life.
Yup that's rather cold, egyptian in canada aren't you?
The basic belief among egyptians here is if you manage to marry and create a family with a woman who has an established extended family in the area they will take care of all your needs while you advance your education.
I've seen it happen among Jordanians in which the young wife/mother who is westernized is extremely pissed off with her family for putting up with it.
Again Arabs think the whole world lives as they do or should, like many westerners.
It also depends on which university in Egypt he went to, and if all he ever did was a residency and wasn't able to land a professional medical position he might have to redo his last 2 years of medical school in order to get a residency and sit for the medical license exam.
Not all medical degrees and residency is equal.
If she is 'PC' I can understand why you are taking a stab at her.
Posts: 1455 | From: debtville | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
I am so sorry to hear this, I remember you well, you are such a capable lady, you did everything right and don't deserve this. Good luck for the future and remember with those boys you are the winnner and he is the looser.
posted
Indeed, Penny! Best that you got out while the boys are still youngish. You will enjoy them now that the selfish 'man' is gone and he will miss out on it all. You come out the winner, my dear.
Posts: 246 | From: but one life to live | Registered: Jun 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: he finally tells me (7 months after arriving in Canada) that being "successful" in Canada is more important than staying together and that he cannot study with a family around and he just must be a doctor here because he was one in Egypt and that it is his priority!
He will need a lot of luck and determination. Most International Medical Graduates (IMGs) in Canada just give up and try their luck in the US. The USMLE textbooks are selling like hot cakes on Amazon.ca
Posts: 698 | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
boy doed that man sound familiar...dont you love how egyptian men go on about how they love a woman to stand by them thru it all but then they turn around and rop you like a bad habit the moment something happens for them?
I been thru your situation with my loser. i picked him up out of the gutters, helped him get a biz, then boom, he was gone.
but you know what, it DOES get better....i have a child too and its hard, but just keep workin to get yourself ahead and it will happen. the freedom the peace and the not having to be beaten anymore feels so good and it was worth the heartbreak, tears and sometimes in the beginning, poverty as a new single mother.
just remember, what goes around comes around and dont forget to take him to court and get whats urs!!! i didnt do that, and was getting $300 a month from him then last week i took it to court, despite his threats if i took him to court and my first child support check is for $1193. hehe you should have seen the look on his face and believe me, western judges HATE egyptian men so it wont be very hard for ya.
get his ass!
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: Well, after all this looks like I can add my name to the list of westerners screwed by Egyptian men. 4.5 years and two kids later, after all we been through, he finally tells me (7 months after arriving in Canada) that being "successful" in Canada is more important than staying together and that he cannot study with a family around and he just must be a doctor here because he was one in Egypt and that it is his priority!
Good luck to him...shame for his little boys though. As for me, I take away a major life experience of living abroad in Egypt for 4 years and experiencing something vastly different than what I knew before. Time to remeber who I am and all that I lost to make him satsified from me, because I was never good enough in anything.
I am not that naive in general so it really can happen to anyone, I mean we lived togther and had two kids in his country and suffered through so much and now in the end it is only finally clear now what his motivations were.
For the few good people who know me here, I think you know a lot of what has been going on over the years and you have been there through thick and thin...never forgotten, none of you!
I am facing huge changes and adjustments now and I wish this doesn't happen to anyone else, especially innocent children!
Some people will really do anything, walk on anyone and destroy other people to reach their goals.
I think my life is pretty screwed up right now and so are my children's lives, but, I hope to overcome this and come out on top for myself and my boys.
Naturally, I am very angry and hurt and not sure how I should feel...this is humiliating, scary with the future ahead of me and starting over is hard to do.
Well, never thought I would write this, but, I am just another brick in the wall. Still don't have nothing against Egyptian men, just the one I chose to marry.
For God sake women, don't give anyone anything of yourself...if a man loves you, he will never but you below his feet or make you feel obligated to do anything for him! I feel I am being liberated from slavery, just looking back at the whole process...things are always 20/20 in hindsight aren't they?
Sorry for this hope you get over it. Any egyptian university graduate especially DOCTORS who can speak some french and worked for two years can easily immigrate to Canada he doesn't need to CON a woman to do so. Wish you the best of luck in your life.
That's true.....but he still needs to wait 3-4 years for his application to be processed.
Posts: 698 | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
THINGS WILL GET BETTER XXX AND NEVER FORGET THAT GOD NEVER SLEEPS!!!! I BELIEVE THAT THEY WILL SUFFER FOR THEIR ACTIONS EVENTUALLY
Posts: 264 | From: wales | Registered: Aug 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: Well, after all this looks like I can add my name to the list of westerners screwed by Egyptian men. 4.5 years and two kids later, after all we been through, he finally tells me (7 months after arriving in Canada) that being "successful" in Canada is more important than staying together and that he cannot study with a family around and he just must be a doctor here because he was one in Egypt and that it is his priority!
Good luck to him...shame for his little boys though. As for me, I take away a major life experience of living abroad in Egypt for 4 years and experiencing something vastly different than what I knew before. Time to remeber who I am and all that I lost to make him satsified from me, because I was never good enough in anything.
I am not that naive in general so it really can happen to anyone, I mean we lived togther and had two kids in his country and suffered through so much and now in the end it is only finally clear now what his motivations were.
For the few good people who know me here, I think you know a lot of what has been going on over the years and you have been there through thick and thin...never forgotten, none of you!
I am facing huge changes and adjustments now and I wish this doesn't happen to anyone else, especially innocent children!
Some people will really do anything, walk on anyone and destroy other people to reach their goals.
I think my life is pretty screwed up right now and so are my children's lives, but, I hope to overcome this and come out on top for myself and my boys.
Naturally, I am very angry and hurt and not sure how I should feel...this is humiliating, scary with the future ahead of me and starting over is hard to do.
Well, never thought I would write this, but, I am just another brick in the wall. Still don't have nothing against Egyptian men, just the one I chose to marry.
For God sake women, don't give anyone anything of yourself...if a man loves you, he will never but you below his feet or make you feel obligated to do anything for him! I feel I am being liberated from slavery, just looking back at the whole process...things are always 20/20 in hindsight aren't they?
Sorry for this hope you get over it. Any egyptian university graduate especially DOCTORS who can speak some french and worked for two years can easily immigrate to Canada he doesn't need to CON a woman to do so. Wish you the best of luck in your life.
That's true.....but he still needs to wait 3-4 years for his application to be processed.
no it doesnt any more ask betty she got hers in a few months...
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: Well, after all this looks like I can add my name to the list of westerners screwed by Egyptian men. 4.5 years and two kids later, after all we been through, he finally tells me (7 months after arriving in Canada) that being "successful" in Canada is more important than staying together and that he cannot study with a family around and he just must be a doctor here because he was one in Egypt and that it is his priority!
Good luck to him...shame for his little boys though. As for me, I take away a major life experience of living abroad in Egypt for 4 years and experiencing something vastly different than what I knew before. Time to remeber who I am and all that I lost to make him satsified from me, because I was never good enough in anything.
I am not that naive in general so it really can happen to anyone, I mean we lived togther and had two kids in his country and suffered through so much and now in the end it is only finally clear now what his motivations were.
For the few good people who know me here, I think you know a lot of what has been going on over the years and you have been there through thick and thin...never forgotten, none of you!
I am facing huge changes and adjustments now and I wish this doesn't happen to anyone else, especially innocent children!
Some people will really do anything, walk on anyone and destroy other people to reach their goals.
I think my life is pretty screwed up right now and so are my children's lives, but, I hope to overcome this and come out on top for myself and my boys.
Naturally, I am very angry and hurt and not sure how I should feel...this is humiliating, scary with the future ahead of me and starting over is hard to do.
Well, never thought I would write this, but, I am just another brick in the wall. Still don't have nothing against Egyptian men, just the one I chose to marry.
For God sake women, don't give anyone anything of yourself...if a man loves you, he will never but you below his feet or make you feel obligated to do anything for him! I feel I am being liberated from slavery, just looking back at the whole process...things are always 20/20 in hindsight aren't they?
Sorry for this hope you get over it. Any egyptian university graduate especially DOCTORS who can speak some french and worked for two years can easily immigrate to Canada he doesn't need to CON a woman to do so. Wish you the best of luck in your life.
That's true.....but he still needs to wait 3-4 years for his application to be processed.
Suppose you are right he would have been granted his VISA he was with her for almost 5 years.
Posts: 211 | From: alexandria | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: Well, after all this looks like I can add my name to the list of westerners screwed by Egyptian men. 4.5 years and two kids later, after all we been through, he finally tells me (7 months after arriving in Canada) that being "successful" in Canada is more important than staying together and that he cannot study with a family around and he just must be a doctor here because he was one in Egypt and that it is his priority!
Good luck to him...shame for his little boys though. As for me, I take away a major life experience of living abroad in Egypt for 4 years and experiencing something vastly different than what I knew before. Time to remeber who I am and all that I lost to make him satsified from me, because I was never good enough in anything.
I am not that naive in general so it really can happen to anyone, I mean we lived togther and had two kids in his country and suffered through so much and now in the end it is only finally clear now what his motivations were.
For the few good people who know me here, I think you know a lot of what has been going on over the years and you have been there through thick and thin...never forgotten, none of you!
I am facing huge changes and adjustments now and I wish this doesn't happen to anyone else, especially innocent children!
Some people will really do anything, walk on anyone and destroy other people to reach their goals.
I think my life is pretty screwed up right now and so are my children's lives, but, I hope to overcome this and come out on top for myself and my boys.
Naturally, I am very angry and hurt and not sure how I should feel...this is humiliating, scary with the future ahead of me and starting over is hard to do.
Well, never thought I would write this, but, I am just another brick in the wall. Still don't have nothing against Egyptian men, just the one I chose to marry.
For God sake women, don't give anyone anything of yourself...if a man loves you, he will never but you below his feet or make you feel obligated to do anything for him! I feel I am being liberated from slavery, just looking back at the whole process...things are always 20/20 in hindsight aren't they?
Sorry for this hope you get over it. Any egyptian university graduate especially DOCTORS who can speak some french and worked for two years can easily immigrate to Canada he doesn't need to CON a woman to do so. Wish you the best of luck in your life.
That's true.....but he still needs to wait 3-4 years for his application to be processed.
no it doesnt any more ask betty she got hers in a few months...
Betty ?? I'm referring to the number of months that are required to approve or refuse applications at visa offices around the world.
quote:Originally posted by ViVa Philip Morries: Sorry for this hope you get over it. Any egyptian university graduate especially DOCTORS who can speak some french and worked for two years can easily immigrate to Canada he doesn't need to CON a woman to do so. Wish you the best of luck in your life.
Yup that's rather cold, egyptian in canada aren't you?
The basic belief among egyptians here is if you manage to marry and create a family with a woman who has an established extended family in the area they will take care of all your needs while you advance your education.
I've seen it happen among Jordanians in which the young wife/mother who is westernized is extremely pissed off with her family for putting up with it.
Again Arabs think the whole world lives as they do or should, like many westerners.
It also depends on which university in Egypt he went to, and if all he ever did was a residency and wasn't able to land a professional medical position he might have to redo his last 2 years of medical school in order to get a residency and sit for the medical license exam.
Not all medical degrees and residency is equal.
If she is 'PC' I can understand why you are taking a stab at her.
I am not taking a stab on her. Just wondering how did you get that bunch of false informations about medical schools in egypt and of course about me?
Posts: 211 | From: alexandria | Registered: May 2008
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posted
An egyptian could potentially immigrate thru skilled worker class but my husband did not have nor does he now have the required points because he is still only 27 so not enough years working in his field nor did he ever have over 12,000 dollars to apply and for settlement funds which are required.
To practice medicine as an IMG here, you must take MCCEE/MCCQE (pricey) and then hope for a chance that you get into a training program thru the province (Carms is pretty competitive) he does not however have the required years in any specialty or as licensed GP to fulfill the basic requirements. Perhaps newfoundland will have him...good riddens:)
Doesn't matter what university you went to in Egypt as long as it is on the FAIMER list.
This is not about medical degrees anyways, the point is he chose money and my country over me and his children, easily forgetting everything I went through with him and for him and his kids.
Should have just stayed in Canada when I was pregnant with number 2, but, I didn't want him to miss the birth if there was any hope of reconciliation.
There is just so much to this whole scenario and there is not much point in arguing over details...I know what is happening in my home and what happened all along. It is just very painful and shocking. He literally got up yesterday to announce he is leaving and he actually clapped his hands and jumped sort of like it is so exciting! It is not worth my time and energy to think about him, I want to think about me and how I can make the best of this situation.
I have a job interview tomorrow...it would be a nice fresh start...wish me luck:)
Posts: 33 | From: Halifax, NS, Canada | Registered: Jul 2008
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WISH YOU LOTS AND LOTS OF LUCK, you will survive and recover from this, because you are a mum.
Posts: 547 | From: uk | Registered: Jun 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: An egyptian could potentially immigrate thru skilled worker class but my husband did not have nor does he now have the required points because he is still only 27 so not enough years working in his field nor did he ever have over 12,000 dollars to apply and for settlement funds which are required.
To practice medicine as an IMG here, you must take MCCEE/MCCQE (pricey) and then hope for a chance that you get into a training program thru the province (Carms is pretty competitive) he does not however have the required years in any specialty or as licensed GP to fulfill the basic requirements. Perhaps newfoundland will have him...good riddens:)
Doesn't matter what university you went to in Egypt as long as it is on the FAIMER list.
This is not about medical degrees anyways, the point is he chose money and my country over me and his children, easily forgetting everything I went through with him and for him and his kids.
Should have just stayed in Canada when I was pregnant with number 2, but, I didn't want him to miss the birth if there was any hope of reconciliation.
There is just so much to this whole scenario and there is not much point in arguing over details...I know what is happening in my home and what happened all along. It is just very painful and shocking. He literally got up yesterday to announce he is leaving and he actually clapped his hands and jumped sort of like it is so exciting! It is not worth my time and energy to think about him, I want to think about me and how I can make the best of this situation.
I have a job interview tomorrow...it would be a nice fresh start...wish me luck:)
You did your best and from what I can see unlike others, have maintained your decorum quite well, an admirable feat considering the circumstances.
Best wishes to you and yours, you have two great kids and a bright future with endless possibilities ahead of you, consider yourself blessed that he's gone.
Rest in the fact that karma's a a big bad motherfucker with sharp teeth, and it spares no one.
Posts: 2404 | Registered: May 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: He literally got up yesterday to announce he is leaving and he actually clapped his hands and jumped sort of like it is so exciting!
OMG How awful! I don't think he realizes what he's doing.
I have a job interview tomorrow...it would be a nice fresh start...wish me luck:)
Sure! Lots of luck... You can do it! Even when you don't get this particular job, you will find another one. And more important: the bond with your kids will get so strong, you have no idea... You're probably totally shocked right now but after some time you'll notice it made you a stronger person. All the best. Posts: 2932 | From: Just now and then | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
Good luck with everything. Nice to hear from you again even if the news are not very good. Your story touched me earlier already. Stay strong and hope you have family and friends to support you. Wishing you all the best.
Posts: 523 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2004
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-------------------- "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." (Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton) Leap and the Net will Appear. Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: Naturally, I am very angry and hurt and not sure how I should feel...this is humiliating, scary with the future ahead of me and starting over is hard to do.
Sometimes life is so tough (and kind of unjust...). Sure starting over is hard - but it's better to sacrifice your present time and energy for a new better life than hold on to the old painful one.
Hold on tight. The future will ease your pain. As can be seen, there are lots of friendly people here on ES wishing you well and keeping their fingers crossed. Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote: For God sake women, don't give anyone anything of yourself...if a man loves you, he will never but you below his feet or make you feel obligated to do anything for him! I feel I am being liberated from slavery, just looking back at the whole process...things are always 20/20 in hindsight aren't they?
You are liberated, and you will have everything better than you had before. Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: An egyptian could potentially immigrate thru skilled worker class but my husband did not have nor does he now have the required points because he is still only 27 so not enough years working in his field nor did he ever have over 12,000 dollars to apply and for settlement funds which are required.
To practice medicine as an IMG here, you must take MCCEE/MCCQE (pricey) and then hope for a chance that you get into a training program thru the province (Carms is pretty competitive) he does not however have the required years in any specialty or as licensed GP to fulfill the basic requirements. Perhaps newfoundland will have him...good riddens:)
Doesn't matter what university you went to in Egypt as long as it is on the FAIMER list.
This is not about medical degrees anyways, the point is he chose money and my country over me and his children, easily forgetting everything I went through with him and for him and his kids.
Should have just stayed in Canada when I was pregnant with number 2, but, I didn't want him to miss the birth if there was any hope of reconciliation.
There is just so much to this whole scenario and there is not much point in arguing over details...I know what is happening in my home and what happened all along. It is just very painful and shocking. He literally got up yesterday to announce he is leaving and he actually clapped his hands and jumped sort of like it is so exciting! It is not worth my time and energy to think about him, I want to think about me and how I can make the best of this situation.
I have a job interview tomorrow...it would be a nice fresh start...wish me luck:)
Hope you did very well concerning your interview and got the job.
Posts: 211 | From: alexandria | Registered: May 2008
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posted
Thank you all really for your kind words and sincere wishes for a nice future with my boys!
I feel positive about my interview today as it seemed to go very very well...there will be a second round of interviews in about 2 weeks to finalize the decision, but, she made some comments which gave me and indication that I am the only one in the running! well, that works for me lol! I do feel good and it is liberating actually to realize I can do this on my own emotionally and physically. I can tell that he is royally pissed that I just went out yesterday and got myself a dressy suit (mind you it was 26 bucks including shoes)! and just put it on and looked fabulous if i do say so, the look on his face this morning when I totally ignored him and managed the kids alone, got them off to daycare and said I have a meeting and I wont be home for a while was truly priceless! I dont think he could believe himself, that I was just doing my own plan without his consultation or informing him. I don't mean it in a spiteful way, but, he was just dumbfounded and it was obvious!
Point is though, I am looking at the positive because I just look back and think of how I was so miserable deep inside and always hoping for better things between us and now I am more happy without him.
The kids can tell something is not right in the house, but, they do seem more calm and relaxed when he is not here, probably because his moods are unpredictable and that causes everyone ot feel on edge....now we can relax and be ourselves.
For myself, I am a pretty naturally happy person and enjoy jut being smiley and sort of bouncy I guess You would call it...the kids like that and I couldn't be myself with him around because he kept looking at me as if I am mental, just for singing or laughing with the kids in a silly way.
This is nice...it is peaceful, very peaceful and I felt awesome going out on my own today to the interview, I felt like a new person and full of ambition:)
Posts: 33 | From: Halifax, NS, Canada | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
I like to wag my finger at the Mister and remind him to take care "because everything you do to me, God will make sure the same is done to you".
He quotes it back to me when he is really in the sh*t and wants someone to blame.
Live well young Jedi, you aren't the first single Mum on the block, and you are young enough to figure this all out. Now.. what will be amusing is HIM having to navigate without you as his partner.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Beachstrife: This is nice...it is peaceful, very peaceful and I felt awesome going out on my own today to the interview, I felt like a new person and full of ambition:)
Fantastic, stay positive and be yourself again. He wants to see you suffering so don't for one minute give him the satisfaction.
You sound like a great Mum, some of the best times with kids is just being silly, enjoy them. Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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Beachstrife, I hope you will be able to receive all the help that you can get from your family and friends. It's gonna be hard, hang in there, all the best to you and your both little boys. Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I am sure you've been making plans and I hope you haven't been letting him in on it.
I really don't want you to explain this on the forum, but it would be a wise idea to start figuring out a way to get him out of your house.
Again don't spill this on the forum. He might read it here.
What if he doesn't manage to get into a medical school or residency? What if he doesn't move out?
I learned holding down a night shift job @ the hospital, taking 15 credits a semester, keeping an apartment, managing a meddling & controling mother (let alone everyone else) and dealing with King Kong who really could scream for 13 hours straight was too much after not sleeping for 72 hours.
Seriously now I am sure Canada wouldn't charge you with marriage fraud for dissolving the marriage, but his permenant residency must be sustained. Its a sticky mess to back out of.
But getting him out of your home is going to help you sustain your sanity so you can be a single mom.
I noticed when I was holding down all of that heck I described above, when I messed up at work (non-intentional), was late, called in sick, people would cover for me and truly try to help. Still living with an evil creature took everything out of me and I could barely function.
Get him out if at all possible, earlier the better.
-------------------- Offend one offend all during the season. Posts: 1455 | From: debtville | Registered: Dec 2007
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Isn't there something in Canadian imigration law that you have to take responsibility for the spouse that imigrates for so many years?
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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yes there is. I believe it's for 3 years. Your responsible for living expenses and medical,etc.
Posts: 27 | From: canada | Registered: Dec 2006
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I am confused. Think it's from reading Tina's post. My husband came here on a k-3 visa to the u.s. Took 14 months. You have 2 years to apply for the greencard once here. Work permit and travel permit can be filed for seperatly and takes only a few months to get. Greencard? not sure how long it takes but shouldn't take so long becuae of the type of visa. Has be applied for his greencsrd yet? He has to stay married living here for a certain period of time. I would send his ass back to egypt if I could.
Posts: 1369 | From: California | Registered: Aug 2007
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