quote:Originally posted by Momma Dukes: what is your age sweety?
lemme give you some advice coming from the mouth of my own (ex) mother in law when her 20 year old son married a 37 year old woman...'business is business.' ... meaning she supported his marriage simply because they all knew it was only so he could get his papers, open a biz, make money and send it back home.
Papers If he was married to you then why would he divorce you when you have his child???You said you were married 10 yrs and in that time he never got his visa That doesnt make any sense- you were younger,married to him and have his child. They would more likely grant him a visa with his young wife and the mother of his child vs a woman with a 17 yr age gap with him. How did he get here to begin with at such a young age???
actually I AM th one who filed divorce against him because I couldnt take the scruffiness, lying, cheating, greediness and abuse anymore and he began to hit our daughter. i say to people he left me because after the divorce he lived with me for 3 months so i can make enough money to be on my own and then the woman gave him an ultimatum...leave her or i leave and since he knew the divorce was final, he left us unexpectedly with nothing. i had to take $$ from my father to support us for 2 months until i got a higher paying carer and now im fine. when i took him to court, he got mad knowing that i can get alimony and good $ for support for aleya so he slashed my tires and had our utilities shut off while his own daughter was still living in the house. but now since he has nothing to hold over my head i am getting a lawyer and getting support.
he began running with the old woman when he found out because with me gone he had nobody to do take care of his place of business for him. he couldnt read or write a single word of english, and only passed his citizenship test by remembering visually what each question and answer looked like. i sat with him for a month straight getting it into his head. the biz takes a lot of daily paperwork and a good english speaker to take care of the customers (its a getty garage and gas station) and he cant do it on his own.
she now spends over 80 hours a week at the biz. and she tells me he does the same BS to her he did to me...he yells at her in front of customers and curses her calling her a fat bitch and everything when she makes the smallest mistake. not only her but other friends we ahd together (him and I) who tried to work for him told me this and it was the reason they quit soon after.
i was in the back seat of the car on the way back from JFK last month after he took my daughter there and I watched them fight because he wont take her to egypt and his father left the house because he divorced me and he didnt want to see his son for it. she even told me, 'whenever i think of leaving him i say to myelf, who else am i going to be with, and i stay." and these were her exact words and it kinda suprised me to see her be so honest.
this is a man that only lives for money baby like the rest of them.
and now, he has another girl pregnant. she didnt listen to my warngings and now she is in the same boat i was in...
his sisters and mother told me on the phone when i called there for my kid last month that they keep trying to tell him to go back to me but i wont do it...the memories are too bad and i cant be with a monster like that.
also he tricked his borhter out of $15000...there was a pyramid system going on in the family and my ex need $10000 more to open the biz. he tricked his younger brother to be a partner with him, and once he got the money, he began to abuse him adn smack him around and make him work long crazy hours and controlled his every move, not even letting him have a GF just so that he would get fed up and leave. and the plan worked.
me and his brother hooking up was just revenge.
He hits your daughter and you let her go to egypt with him????
You really are not making any sense at all . It's not up to me to judge how u live your life but I think that in your needing attention, you make up what you feel like at the moment...
It's sad really because I've said before you really have a wild imagination and if you used it more productively then blogging on all your forums you could be a published writer. Use your time and your powers for good MD, instead of making up your wild tales for a bunch of faceless names on the internet...
Posts: 1121 | From: Too crazy to look at a freakin map to find out.. | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
i was just asking for advice im not going to tell the world my life story! if he could come with me believe me,he would in a shot, he misses his family like crazy.im the next best thing to him going and they are obviously wanting to meet me, im their daughter in law! im sure he wouldnt let me go if i wasnt going to be looked after.
Posts: 25 | From: england | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
You can never be 100% sure of other people ...espically from another country...they say they care and all that crap...If you do go take a friend with you for support but its up to you anyway good luck.
quote:Originally posted by Momma Dukes: what is your age sweety?
lemme give you some advice coming from the mouth of my own (ex) mother in law when her 20 year old son married a 37 year old woman...'business is business.' ... meaning she supported his marriage simply because they all knew it was only so he could get his papers, open a biz, make money and send it back home.
Papers If he was married to you then why would he divorce you when you have his child???You said you were married 10 yrs and in that time he never got his visa That doesnt make any sense- you were younger,married to him and have his child. They would more likely grant him a visa with his young wife and the mother of his child vs a woman with a 17 yr age gap with him. How did he get here to begin with at such a young age???
actually I AM th one who filed divorce against him because I couldnt take the scruffiness, lying, cheating, greediness and abuse anymore and he began to hit our daughter. i say to people he left me because after the divorce he lived with me for 3 months so i can make enough money to be on my own and then the woman gave him an ultimatum...leave her or i leave and since he knew the divorce was final, he left us unexpectedly with nothing. i had to take $$ from my father to support us for 2 months until i got a higher paying carer and now im fine. when i took him to court, he got mad knowing that i can get alimony and good $ for support for aleya so he slashed my tires and had our utilities shut off while his own daughter was still living in the house. but now since he has nothing to hold over my head i am getting a lawyer and getting support.
he began running with the old woman when he found out because with me gone he had nobody to do take care of his place of business for him. he couldnt read or write a single word of english, and only passed his citizenship test by remembering visually what each question and answer looked like. i sat with him for a month straight getting it into his head. the biz takes a lot of daily paperwork and a good english speaker to take care of the customers (its a getty garage and gas station) and he cant do it on his own.
she now spends over 80 hours a week at the biz. and she tells me he does the same BS to her he did to me...he yells at her in front of customers and curses her calling her a fat bitch and everything when she makes the smallest mistake. not only her but other friends we ahd together (him and I) who tried to work for him told me this and it was the reason they quit soon after.
i was in the back seat of the car on the way back from JFK last month after he took my daughter there and I watched them fight because he wont take her to egypt and his father left the house because he divorced me and he didnt want to see his son for it. she even told me, 'whenever i think of leaving him i say to myelf, who else am i going to be with, and i stay." and these were her exact words and it kinda suprised me to see her be so honest.
this is a man that only lives for money baby like the rest of them.
and now, he has another girl pregnant. she didnt listen to my warngings and now she is in the same boat i was in...
his sisters and mother told me on the phone when i called there for my kid last month that they keep trying to tell him to go back to me but i wont do it...the memories are too bad and i cant be with a monster like that.
also he tricked his borhter out of $15000...there was a pyramid system going on in the family and my ex need $10000 more to open the biz. he tricked his younger brother to be a partner with him, and once he got the money, he began to abuse him adn smack him around and make him work long crazy hours and controlled his every move, not even letting him have a GF just so that he would get fed up and leave. and the plan worked.
me and his brother hooking up was just revenge.
He hits your daughter and you let her go to egypt with him????
You really are not making any sense at all . It's not up to me to judge how u live your life but I think that in your needing attention, you make up what you feel like at the moment...
It's sad really because I've said before you really have a wild imagination and if you used it more productively then blogging on all your forums you could be a published writer. Use your time and your powers for good MD, instead of making up your wild tales for a bunch of faceless names on the internet...
OMG i remember where i know you from!
you used to troll around on AOL arab chat like 3-4 years ago and would fight so horribly with the other members there...you used to say the most dirty things there and now u think you are going to start here?!
hay if u see anthony4u2004 around tell him tami said hi and misses him..he lives in newark NJ and omg we used to have the best times together! im sure you remember him...syrian guy who used to tell ur ass off all the time. i never wrote in but i used to sit there and read and laugh and try to get yall to make peace and u would always tell me to shut up.
man you brought me back memories..i havent been there in YEARS!!
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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quote:Originally posted by habibitraci: i was just asking for advice im not going to tell the world my life story! if he could come with me believe me,he would in a shot, he misses his family like crazy.im the next best thing to him going and they are obviously wanting to meet me, im their daughter in law! im sure he wouldnt let me go if i wasnt going to be looked after.
I'm sure he has a good reason to not go- work, visa situation, whatever, right now. Not a problem. If you go, I'm sure everyone will take care of you. It would probably be more ideal if you could go with someone you know though- because you will be in a new country, where you don't speak the language, which can always become a problem.
Just find out the info from your hubby, he should make arrangements for you- including who will pick u up form the airport.
Find out from him what type of setting his family lives in- a more urban or rural area? How rural, if rural? Do they have running water, does the electricity go out, do they have health facilities near by, etc. If you know what to expect ahead of time, you can have a more comfortable trip. Good luck.
Posts: 1967 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
Yeah take advice and dont go living in a fantasy land ..think ahead and be safe cause a strange country can be a dangerous place when you know nothing about it or have no one to turn to for help if you get stuck in a horrible sitution..get real with yourself..i doubt if anyone in their right mind would travel to another country not knows whats ahead of them..its 2008 and what the world is today its not a pretty place if your left alone and broke and miles away from home!!!
posted
Thanks for the advice, got a friend that worked there for 3 years, so iv asked her if she wants to come with me, thats if her husband lets her. my husband paints a different picture of what it is like there, i already knew it wasnt going to be like england, but no running water or electricity, eeek! but im not easily shocked, il still take your advice and try and take someone with me.
Posts: 25 | From: england | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
habibitraci, try googling the name of the city/town/village and see what comes up. You may find some information on this place.
Click on the images too, might also have some pics to give you a better idea.
Posts: 3291 | From: I DO believe in Karma! | Registered: Apr 2002
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Habibitraci give us the name of the town...we might know it and can help with a bit more info for you. Not all places are no electric or running water LOL
Still can't get my head round your hubby sending you off like this though.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
its called etay el baroud, dont know if its spelt right. well, just got to meet his brother, hes come to england as well and is staying with us. bit difficult with the language barriers. my hubbys gone to work, dont know what to say to him! feel a bit arkward! first thing my son said to him on meeting him was umak sharmota! Posts: 25 | From: england | Registered: Jul 2008
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In my VERY humble opinion habibitraci, if you thought that was funny, STAY FAR AWAY FROM HIS MOTHER. Posts: 3291 | From: I DO believe in Karma! | Registered: Apr 2002
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not my fault, i didnt teach it him!and i nearly died when he said it. does anyone know where it is then?
Posts: 25 | From: england | Registered: Jul 2008
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Its a small town on the way to Kafr Sheikh South of Alexandria. So its going to be very rural and very basic.
I think your husband needs a dam good talking to if he has taught you son to say this because lets face it in teaching it to your son he is teaching him to talk about his mother....not funny at all.
Back to the main point though certainly not a place you would want to be spending for more than 48 hours!
Think I understand now why your husband doesn't want to go back with you...not easy for people from these type of places to get VISAs for UK is it ? Enough said.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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habibitraci, if you have a friend that worked there for THREE years, she should be able to tell you exactly where it is. Pinpoint it on the map and give detailed information about the living conditions there! (that's if you don't believe your husband!) WIERD!
Posts: 3291 | From: I DO believe in Karma! | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
why is everyone here so suspisious? what exatly is so weird? i just thought i could ask a few questions to people who knew more than me about egypt as theres noone i can talk to here. and so what if he has visa issues, thats EXACTLY why i didnt mention it here. people are always so quick to judge. it makes me sad.
Posts: 25 | From: england | Registered: Jul 2008
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I think your husband needs a dam good talking to if he has taught you son to say this because lets face it in teaching it to your son he is teaching him to talk about his mother....not funny at all. i agree on this matter.
Posts: 25 | From: england | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by habibitraci: why is everyone here so suspisious? what exatly is so weird? i just thought i could ask a few questions to people who knew more than me about egypt as theres noone i can talk to here. and so what if he has visa issues, thats EXACTLY why i didnt mention it here. people are always so quick to judge. it makes me sad.
Actually you are getting good advice but not hearing what you want to hear. If he does have VISA issues then all the more reason to protect yourself and not go. I dug a bit as it was obvious when you said his brother who doesn't speak English had now turned up. It's not judgemental it plain good advice both from the VISA issue and the type of town you would be going to.
Whatever his problem is his business but he should not be using you as his go between.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Penny: Its a small town on the way to Kafr Sheikh South of Alexandria. So its going to be very rural and very basic.
Wow Penny very mean spirited of you!
You might hold your in-laws at an arm's distance or vice versa but it doesn't mean everyone should have distain for their in-laws.
My ex spoke of his uncles as if they lived in a hovel.
When I want to visit them they had already figured out which beverage was my favorite and one of my favorite meals. Why because my ex broadcasted to the world how he loved my food and what are my favorites.
So when I was expecting the worst I was greated and put out on a huge balcony overlooking a enormorous garden of plants I had never seen before, lawn chairs with cushions, mosquito netting, rooms with painted walls resembling rosemaling (scandinavian painthing), a wife who spoke good english, french and the children were on their way in this extent.
They offered me a bath in their jacuuzi (very effective for pulverizing dirt off of monkey children and aches and pains of older people).
All this while I listened to the hum of irrigation machine engines pumping water from the canals into the fields, buffallo baying, chickena clucking, dump trucks bouncing upon speed bumps every 50 yards and wild birds churping (did you know the Delta has a specie of oriole?)
But then grandpa came home and wanted to watch satellite TV and play sony playstation at the same time (loud roar). Without changing out of his mud caked gallabiya.
Yes even in a 'mit' village outside of a provincial capital there is modern life.
But you'd actually have to visit a village and be welcomed into their homes to know.
Posts: 277 | From: between a rock and a hard place | Registered: Sep 2008
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quote:Originally posted by habibitraci: why is everyone here so suspisious? what exatly is so weird? i just thought i could ask a few questions to people who knew more than me about egypt as theres noone i can talk to here. and so what if he has visa issues, thats EXACTLY why i didnt mention it here. people are always so quick to judge. it makes me sad.
There is your husband to talk to there, he knows exactly where it is and exactly what its like surely? Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by habibitraci: its called etay el baroud, dont know if its spelt right. well, just got to meet his brother, hes come to england as well and is staying with us. bit difficult with the language barriers. my hubbys gone to work, dont know what to say to him! feel a bit arkward! first thing my son said to him on meeting him was umak sharmota!
Nice family!!
~ TL
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Penny: Its a small town on the way to Kafr Sheikh South of Alexandria. So its going to be very rural and very basic.
Wow Penny very mean spirited of you!
Yeah Penny you meanie, fancing saying its south of Alex!
quote:You might hold your in-laws at an arm's distance or vice versa but it doesn't mean everyone should have distain for their in-laws.
My ex spoke of his uncles as if they lived in a hovel.
When I want to visit them they had already figured out which beverage was my favorite and one of my favorite meals. Why because my ex broadcasted to the world how he loved my food and what are my favorites.
So when I was expecting the worst I was greated and put out on a huge balcony overlooking a enormorous garden of plants I had never seen before, lawn chairs with cushions, mosquito netting, rooms with painted walls resembling rosemaling (scandinavian painthing), a wife who spoke good english, french and the children were on their way in this extent.
They offered me a bath in their jacuuzi (very effective for pulverizing dirt off of monkey children and aches and pains of older people).
All this while I listened to the hum of irrigation machine engines pumping water from the canals into the fields, buffallo baying, chickena clucking, dump trucks bouncing upon speed bumps every 50 yards and wild birds churping (did you know the Delta has a specie of oriole?)
But then grandpa came home and wanted to watch satellite TV and play sony playstation at the same time (loud roar). Without changing out of his mud caked gallabiya.
Yes even in a 'mit' village outside of a provincial capital there is modern life.
But you'd actually have to visit a village and be welcomed into their homes to know.
Penny you would have been much better talking about monkey children, 'mit' villages and mud caked galabayas. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by habibitraci: hi, iv never visited egypt before, actualy never even left the uk, and my husband wants me to go and meet his family in egypt next summer. im just wondering what to expect, he is the oldest son and the first of his family to be married. i dont want them to think i am the horrible woman who stole there son! do you really think they will think this way or am i being paranoid?!
Oh it is very easy, just respect their culture, customs and values and you will receive their respects too.
Posts: 756 | From: ...be solution... | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Oh I would like to ask you: How could you be so brave to marry him before you knew all of his family in Egypt? I thought he should introduce you first and let he see how his family interacted with you and whether you could adapt with their life, and vice versa.
I have been in Egypt before I knew him and he took me around to his family and let me stayed with his mom in order me and his family knew each other better and better. And till now, sometimes I feel that I still need more times to understand them even we actually have some similarities in culture.
Posts: 756 | From: ...be solution... | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by refreshed: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Penny: [qb] Its a small town on the way to Kafr Sheikh South of Alexandria. So its going to be very rural and very basic.
Wow Penny very mean spirited of you!
You might hold your in-laws at an arm's distance or vice versa but it doesn't mean everyone should have distain for their in-laws. -------------------------------------------------- Yup I am a big fat old meanie and god forgive me for giving an acurate reply
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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. It's not up to me to judge how u live your life but I think that in your needing attention, you make up what you feel like at the moment...
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