posted
Hi there, I have only just registered so hope that someone can help me.
I have been married to my egyptian husband for 3 years. We live in the UK
Ive been told recentley by 2 people that he has got married in egypt on one of his visits to see his family (Since we married)
I wonder if there is any way of me checking this? As I feel I cant settle and move on with our marriage (We are planning to start a family in the next 12 months), until i know that this is a load of rubbish
Thanks
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
So then, he made the offer. Take him up on it. Let him tell those two people they are lying and see what happens.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
the problem is im not a very confident person, and even if they say its all a load of rubbish, I just feel like if I had a piece of paper in my hands with hard proof, I cant argue with that.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
Egypt has a computerised marriage register. You would need a lawyer or trustworthy relative to check for you.
A lawyers going to charge but if it gives you peace of mind its worth it.
Shanta posted a link recently for a lawyer that does investigations, will see if I can find it.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by jezz33: Thanks Penny, Ill try that. Would the marriage defnnitely be registered there, whether it was an Islamic ceremony or whatever?
Mimmi, my husband is from Menofia.
Yes otherwise its not a valid marriage.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Thanks again Penny, I have emailed the lawyers.
Just need to know for my own piece of mind. Im 99% sure its a load of rubbish but cant help that little niggle.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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quote:Originally posted by stayingput: So then, he made the offer. Take him up on it. Let him tell those two people they are lying and see what happens.
Agree here. That should be the quickest way to a solution. Good luck.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I have tried the people on the link and they are looking to charge $1000 to do some digging on my husbands background, and get me photos of his wife if there is one etc.
To be honest I dont really need that, I just need the registry checking.
I cant justify spending $1000 on a niggling doubt. Does anyone know any other way to get the registry checked? and how much roughly I should expect to pay?
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
Things in Egypt go differently than in the UK. Don't even try the route to find out and spend money and more money, time and headache for most likely no result in the end.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I have tried the people on the link and they are looking to charge $1000 to do some digging on my husbands background, and get me photos of his wife if there is one etc.
To be honest I dont really need that, I just need the registry checking.
I cant justify spending $1000 on a niggling doubt. Does anyone know any other way to get the registry checked? and how much roughly I should expect to pay?
Crazy price I only posted the link as Shanta recommended them recently. Ask them again just for a price to check the registry I was thinking maximum LE 1,000... and even that's a bit much but you are a foreigner to them!
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:I cant justify spending $1000 on a niggling doubt. Does anyone know any other way to get the registry checked? and how much roughly I should expect to pay? [/QB]
That $1000 is simply a starting point for negotiations. After all, it's Egypt.
Offer 1000 LE. If they refuse, ask for their American licensure, the one that gives them the right to charge anyone dollars for a service.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
well hunny u are number one reguardless if he did or didnt he lives with u eats with u and sleeps with who?uuuuu he wants a family with u and u know unhappy people will say thibgs to try to destroy a good thing.. just believe him until u see other wise.now if he never takes u to egypt with him then u should worry until then live yr life dont waste r time in wondering and make yrself sad and destressed... live yr life start yr family and for fuc sakes be happy. forget what people tell u...until they have proof u must trust yr husband or u will never be happy ...
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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4th item down says Egyptian marriage document extract.
It takes you to a page in arabic. If you have got someone that can help you, you may be able to do it yourself. I suspect you will need his ID card number and that will need to be one of the new ID cards that would have generated a family record on the system.
Seem they are moving forward in Egypt with many things these days to keep tabs on people.
Just bear in mind if the possible marriage was quite recent it may take a while before it appears on the register.
Were the 2 people telling you he got married Egyptian?
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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I have tried the people on the link and they are looking to charge $1000 to do some digging on my husbands background, and get me photos of his wife if there is one etc.
To be honest I dont really need that, I just need the registry checking.
I cant justify spending $1000 on a niggling doubt. Does anyone know any other way to get the registry checked? and how much roughly I should expect to pay?
If you don't have his exact information, name-address-national id number, then a thousand dollars is nothing. But in any case I would advise you not to pay anything in advance to anyone............not a cent. IT does not matter who referred them to you or any of that crap. You will get ripped off and I guarantee that.
If you're not confident get scared cause there's a great likely-hood that he is married. From what you wrote he is either married or dumber than ****. So you better get confident or angry and confront him and make it his responsibility to prove to you that he is not married.
Posts: 1044 | Registered: Nov 2009
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posted
Thanks for all your comments. To be honest if it was just the marriage thing id leave it at that and say yes I trust my husband, but I just have a feeling deep down there is something.
For example I have never met his family - I know what people will say, why would u marry a man without meeting his family? But we didnt get married after 2 minutes, and if im completely honest I was quite naive, young and never had a serious relationship before.
This probably isnt the right place to be spilling my soul as I know a lot of people have had bad experiences and are quick to judge but at the moment I just feel a little lost. Quite a few things that have happened over time starting to add up and giving me an uneasy feeling.
My plan is to do what Marydot has advised, thats what I was thinking to do. I need my own proof. Im speaking to a friend in Egypt who might be able to check the registry for me. Ill keep you posted but any other feedback in the meantime would be welcome
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
Penny, I have found out that 1 of the people who said it heard it from the other one, The one who said it first is Egyptian, the other one from another country (Not British).
My husband doesnt have one of the new ID's, he is wanting to go to London next month to get one as they are in the UK issueing them for a month.
Its just the not meeting his family thing that reaffirms in my head that there could be something in this.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
Hi Jezz if you are thinking of starting a family you have very big reasons to be 100% sure of your husband. It's not often but ....... Two is actually talking some sense for once, in that making him responsible to prove he is not married is his job not yours.
Its about time you met his family and if he is being open and honest he will have no problem with this. He should be proud to take you to meet them. If you get a load of excuses then you have your answer.
Never stop listening to those inner gut feelings, they are usually right.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Penny: Its about time you met his family and if he is being open and honest he will have no problem with this. He should be proud to take you to meet them. If you get a load of excuses then you have your answer.
Never stop listening to those inner gut feelings, they are usually right.
To be honest the main reason we wouldnt both go to see his family at the moment is money. Think im gonna have to save the cash over the next couple of months as a surprise, then when I ask him to go there is no excuse.
But I certainly wont be starting a family for now! - He seems genuine with many things, like he wont take indefinite leave to remain till the beginning of next year, and he has said we shouldnt have kids before then as he wants people to see we have had kids for us and becasue we want to, not becasue it will help his application, however on the flip side paranoid me thinks is that that he doesnt see me as a long term wife?
Honestly think ive spent too long listening to others, and now I just dont know what to think.
There have been issues in the marriage, Many issues if im honest and I want to trust him but something is making me not and as you say, your gut feelings are ususally right.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
Keep in mind the only devil in life is that of human beings and their actions. Your marriage seemed fine until a 'devil' said something and came between you and your husband. Living a life filled with suspicion is a miserable existence.
Give the man you love the benefit of the doubt, especially if he has given you his word. Certainly follow up on it, but put it aside until you are in position to know definitely. Until then don't live your life doubting the merit of your marriage.
Some Egyptians and Arabs are notorious gossip spreaders, and why they do it I have no idea. Maybe jealousy.
Google around a bit and see what, if anything, others say about different folk.
I do personally know 2 people who have been in contact with them for different reasons and so I **think** they are a genuine firm.
In one of the cases I know they advised the person well on what was legally possible and the correct procedure in Egypt for a particular course of action (NOT a case involving foreigners and marriages!)
The other case the person decided not to proceed on financial grounds!
As a poster above said - you are a 'foreigner' and $US 1000 is typically what you might pay a lawyer acting for an individual in the UK for around 2 days work.
Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
On the one hand I agree with Exiiled about trusting the guy - if this IS the only issue, but on the other hand, you are indicating that there are other small nagging doubts.
Go with your instinct on that one.
Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
Hi Exiiled, I agree, this is what im trying to do, However there are other issues in the marriage too. I always make excuses for things that happen but instinct tells me something isnt right, then when the marriage thing came up its just got me thinking. As I said, I have never met friends or family in Egypt. I married him for better or worse, so the least I can do is give him the benefit of the doubt, but for my own sanity I will get the marriage thing checked out, and push to go and visit his family.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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quote:Originally posted by jezz33: Hi Exiiled, I agree, this is what im trying to do, However there are other issues in the marriage too. I always make excuses for things that happen but instinct tells me something isnt right, then when the marriage thing came up its just got me thinking. As I said, I have never met friends or family in Egypt. I married him for better or worse, so the least I can do is give him the benefit of the doubt, but for my own sanity I will get the marriage thing checked out, and push to go and visit his family.
Hopefully everything will turn out fine. Either way you will have closure to this ordeal you're dealing with.
Posts: 2275 | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
It would be a good idea to try and meet his family.Your husband may have only told his friends that he is married to you ONLY and not telling his family that he is married to a woman in the uk. Maybe he has told his family that he is staying with friends in the uk etc.
This happens alot to women here in the uk as i have known a few,and its not a very nice thing to experience but the marriages are good here in the uk but the only issues are their husbands are married back home.
still keep quiet on this to your husband, if he is telling lies then he will slip up one time and that time he does,it will be his the final time.
posted
Thats what I think deep down Mary dot, that maybe they think we are just friends. I did very briefly meet his brother once before we were married, but at the time his brother didnt know we were together as his family dont believe in "dating".
Im going to start talking to him about going over, and stay strong cos deep down I think I know there is something. Like maybe he isnt married there but didnt want his family to know he had married me as he didnt want them to think (like my friends do here ) that it was all for a visa, i wonder if he plans to tell them after he takes the indefinite leave to remain, so they believe 100% its genuine and he isnt with me to travel?
Many many things are going through my head, appologies if i sound a bit confused, but to be honest I am
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
Hi Shanta that will teach me not to read stuff here so fast....but hey lets face it so much is c***p these days. I think I must have miss read your post as you did vouch for them but looking back I see you said the opposite.........ah well put it done to old age again! LOL
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Talking of old age Jezz when you get to my age the one thing you realise is the only things you can contol in your life are your own actions, you own behaviour, and how you respond to situations. So its great you have decided to save up to visit his family but in the meantime just get on with life and put all this out of your mind or you will drive yourself crazy. Keep a healthy suspision but no more than that. Life has a funny way of showing you whats right and wrong all by itself.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Wondering how good the Website you posted Penny is for doing searches ? Everyone can search up on us BMD etc so why should'nt we be able to check up on other Nationalities like Egyptians !!! Too many sad stories around. Anyone had experience with the Website ? Can it be read in English ?
Posts: 59 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
Thanks for your wise words Penny. Its nice to have people to talk to on here. Ill keep you posted how its going
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
i have husband from monofyia. maybe i can to help you. i can ask about your man, but i need his name. maybe you can ask people from monofyia from facebook.
Posts: 6 | From: Slovakia | Registered: Apr 2009
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quote:Originally posted by Exiiled: Keep in mind the only devil in life is that of human beings and their actions. Your marriage seemed fine until a 'devil' said something and came between you and your husband. Living a life filled with suspicion is a miserable existence.
Give the man you love the benefit of the doubt, especially if he has given you his word. Certainly follow up on it, but put it aside until you are in position to know definitely. Until then don't live your life doubting the merit of your marriage.
Some Egyptians and Arabs are notorious gossip spreaders, and why they do it I have no idea. Maybe jealousy.
Keep strong.
She gave him the benefit of the doubt by telling him what she has been told. It was his reaction that was lacking and suspect at best. When a 'devil' as you called it interfered in their marriage he should've been concerned. The story is not complete and there are a lot of information that she only knows, like the credibility of the person who told her about the marriage and his relation to her husband. If that person is credible, that constitute "evidence" that he is married.
I don't understand how you people allow matters as important as this to go on without seriously discussing and resolving it quickly.
Posts: 1044 | Registered: Nov 2009
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posted
I appriciate your offer Aprilia*, but to be honest Im not going to feel confident in believing information from anyone I dont know. Thats why I wanted to try and trace on the marriage directory as I can argue with hard evidence.
Im going to start talking to my husband about us going over to visit and I may ask if we can start communicating by letter and exchanging gifts / photos etc to get to know one another, for example with his sister, just to gauge the reaction as much as anything.
Im not really sure of the credibility of the people saying it, I wouldnt exactly call them friends, so it could all be jealousy / gossip etc etc but the mere fact that its got me thinking tells me that I cant just sweep it under the carpet.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
Jezz something that struck me as rather odd is that reading between the lines of what you say you don't seem to have any contact with his family by phone.
I know you probably don't speak arabic and maybe his family don't speak English but it is still possible to communicate with each other. I used to chat away on the phone to my husband's mother in English and she chatted away to me in arabic, we might not have uderstood much of each others words but you could feel the love and warmth in the call. Same with his sisters and all manner of aunts and uncles all over Egypt that would be so pleased to talk. Many of the nieces and nephews would be learning english at school so they can always exchange a few words.
I am assuming your husband is muslim so for Eieed in about 10 days time it would be normal for you to give the family the usual greetings. Ask your husband to teach you a little arabic and the right things to say so you can speak to them when he phones.
I don't know how much you know about Egyptian family life but it is very very odd for you to be excluded like this.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by dia001: Wondering how good the Website you posted Penny is for doing searches ? Everyone can search up on us BMD etc so why should'nt we be able to check up on other Nationalities like Egyptians !!! Too many sad stories around. Anyone had experience with the Website ? Can it be read in English ?
The data base must be in arabic so I doubt they will be providing an English version. You are going to need a person that can read/write arabic and have access to an arabic computer keyboard to input the info to do a search.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Penny, I have never been given the opportunity to speak to any of them. I spoke to a brother online before but not at length. I do feel very excluded, I do speak a little arabic and do know greetings etc. and there is only his mum that doesnt speak english. Im going to ask him if I can speak with them at eid, thats a goos idea, thanks So honestly you think its odd that I wouldnt be able to talk to them before? becasue thats how I feel, but sometimes just think im being silly
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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quote:Originally posted by jezz33: So honestly you think its odd that I wouldnt be able to talk to them before? becasue thats how I feel, but sometimes just think im being silly
No, you are not being silly at all. It is very strange indeed that you have not been introduced to his family at all. Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
YOU don't think it's odd that his family doesn't know he's married and you're excluded from his life in Egypt? YOU don't think it's odd that he's managed to afford more than one trip to Egypt and hasn't included you?
Only you can answer this, but I think we know what the answer is.
Whether he as another wife or not isn't the bigger issue. The bigger issue is the secrecy about your marriage.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
I do think its strange but ive put it down to different cultures. I didnt say they dont know, he says they do, but i have never chatted to any of them.
I know your right, this is probably why i have never posted on here before - truth hurts i suppose.
Ive just thought that it will take time but we have been together just over 4 years, and still not even a phone conversation. But to be fair ive never really pushed for it to happen either cos in my head I feel a bit like his dirty secret.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
4 years and you have never met or spoken to his family, thats a bit odd!!!
You cant put this down to different cultures, its just natural to met your in laws etc.
Sounds like your husband has never told his family about you or your marriage.
After 4 years i doubt very much your husband will tell his family about you now.How can he tell his family that he got married 4 years ago . Sounds like he has been hiding it from them this is why he has never wanted you to see them.
Maybe your husband has got married again because his family think he is free to marry, and he would accept to marry because he wants the best of both worlds. Im guessing his new wife will his number one priority if this is indeed true.
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
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....... Two is actually talking some sense for once, in that making him responsible to prove he is not married is his job not yours.
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