posted
Not reasons as such, but I know both his parents have been sick in the time we have been together. Money also, however there was a chanee when we were both in egypt and I could have had the chance to meet them but the offer was never made, and instead i was sort of kept away.
He tries to make me feel like he is embarrassed cos of the way they live there, and also that its not important and it will happen in time. Bit 4 years in im starting to feel like there is no hope now.
I am going to speak to him and start talking about speaking to them at eid. The problem is now whatever happens I feel paranoid, like maybe they wont know im his wife anyway if we do talk cos i wont know how he has introduced me if its done in arabic, suppose i can ask for him to do it english.
I think if he hasnt told them about me already if he does he wont tell them we have been together 4 years, he will make out its newer than that.
A lot of this is due to me having a lack of confidence in myself so ive never asked too many questions trying to be "a good wife" but now im getting myself in a mess.
Just need to grow some balls and start questionning it - or alternitively run for the hills lol
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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quote:Originally posted by jezz33: however there was a chanee when we were both in egypt and I could have had the chance to meet them but the offer was never made, and instead i was sort of kept away.
I am sorry to say – but this is a huge red flag.
quote:Originally posted by jezz33: Just need to grow some balls and start questionning it - or alternitively run for the hills lol
Yes, definitely. I wish you lots of strength!
Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
he said it was becasue it wasnt a good time due to his mum being ill and I just bought it at the time but to be hinest he didnt make much efort to come and spend much time with me while I was there. But I dont want to make out everything has been negative. One of the reasons I fell for him is becasue of the care for his family, so I just thought he was being thoughtful towards his mother.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
hey, My husband took me to meet all family and friends and i mean everyone after being togther a very short time and even the door woman was introducedlol. I have stayed there when his mum and dad have been very unwell, as thats part of being family. Even if i didnt understand every word what was being said. I often find it susious when people are hiding someone, as it often transpires they are hiding something.
Especially as ur married seems very suspious, if u were a g/f or one night stand fine but to live with u ect ect. As they say no smoke wihtout fire and if ur instincts r telling u somethings not right in a marriage than often they often are correct. Hope u find the answer ur looking for either way take care
posted
You have never met the in-laws? 'The offer was never made'????
I will cut the cheese short for you: He doesn't want you to meet them. And god knows why. Now after all you've mentioned on this thread I think it's highly possible that he's married too back home.
Really I will never understand why foreign women putting up with such crap from Egyptian men but would never do so from one of their own.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Women put up with all sort of crap from men TL, its not just Egyptian ones. I can think of just as bad/worse senarios between English couples I know of.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Jezz, I have to say I agree that there is a strong possibility that he is married already. I can understand from your viewpoint that you didn't know about the culture etc and didn't really question it, but 4 years??? My god this is the person you have comitted to spending your life with. I could understand if it was a boyfriend and you had never met his family but to be married and it never happening is just plain strange and can ONLY be because he is hiding something, ie YOU!
Also he is living with you in the UK is that right? What the hell do his family think he is doing here? Surely they must have asked why he is living here what kind of visa did he get? Egyptians are nosey in my experience so it makes me wonder what he said?? Also if his family apparently think he is young free and single they're going to be putting the pressure on him to find a wife. My husband left Egypt to work abroad aged 26 and up until he met me four years later his mother was often asking when is he going to settle down and get married. This is the case in most families in Egypt. Family is so important in Egypt. I knew very little about their culture when I met my husband and I had reservations in the beginning as we both lived in Dubai at the time we met and had to travel to Cairo to meet his parents and we went back several times before we got married and since that moment they have been in our lives constantly. We live in the UK now and my family and his are constantly in our lives. We had a baby very recently and she is a first grandchild for everyone and his parents are just dying to see her, the call us on skype about 4 times a week to see her on the webcam. Too many times on here people dont question strange behaviour and put it down to "cultural differences." Your husband is definitely hiding something from you and if it were me I would make it my mission to find out. Don't waste any more time. Demand to meet his family and insist he takes you to Egypt. If he won't he's a liar so divorce his arse and send it back to where he came from!
Posts: 500 | From: United Arab Emirates | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
In the words of Dr. Phil, "People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing."
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation after this time with him. I agree with other posters that it is very strange that you have never met his family. He does owe you answers asap! Wishing you all the best.
Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
I dont think it was a good idea to have told you husband what you have heard.I suspect you will need his ID card number and that will need to be one of the new ID cards that would have generated a family record on the system.
posted
My opinion is and im sorry if it sounds harsh - but if your not part of the family and extended family and the whole village, town etc there is something not quite right. Can you insist that you meet the family? It is from this you gain a knowledge of how he interacts with them, how you are accommodated (if that is the word) you gain so much more from meeting more and more people -eventually if there is a hole you will find it.
-------------------- tilly "I can make you feel good" -shalamar Women dont have hot flushes they just have power surges" Posts: 131 | From: uk | Registered: Apr 2009
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I have been reading this post with care and i am interested. I have read all ur posts. Me being muslim (kashmiri) from the uk also, I have also lived in cairo for 2 years and being married to an egyptain, can conclude that ur husband is already married or has married again during his vactions.
sorry to tell you this but it sounds very true that he has another wife. there is simply too much he is hiding from you.
I would have been ok with the 2nd wife thing if he had told me, and if his family knew about me but its the lies im not prepared to deal with. I am asking to speak to his family at eid, and starting to make plans to save the money for a visit in a few weeks time. If he doesnt allow these things to happen I think I have my answers.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
First you should make plans together and save together also, it does sound one sided your doing all the work etc.
Any normal marriage couples do things together, its just natural. sorry to sound bad but i think he has already married and just has you for fun, doing all the run around,etc, money and a place to live etc.
As for the 2nd wife you might as well tell him to sling his hook, you wont have any rights at all,infact you be in the same situation as your in now.so nothing will change for you but for him you be his secret money bag for his wife and family back home.
Forget him and live your life, why waste time on this man. If you was married to a man from your country and he was treating you the same way i bet you would run a mile.
Muslim men dont treat their wifes like this only unless they are useing them for money or visa. If he loved you you would be apart of the family etc. Think about it!!!!
I was married to a man from iraq and i was apart of his family, he never hide me from his family or friends they knew me and knew about me!!!
If a man does not finally introduce a woman to his mother or sisters or brother then he is just playing with you.If a man is serious about a realtionship then he do his best to make everything normal as possible.
posted
marydot Im sure you know also of instances where the families are also fake and are in on the deal on these "arrangements" although this not the case here / families benefit by the European wife in many ways - either a 2nd wife brings in the cash, flat visa, or by the Egyptian wife divorcing getting a substancial Dowry out of the European, because iof course he cant pay!! she loves the guy and it will be worth it!! goes full circle. I think Mary dot is right you are wasting time on this guy. If you meet the family and are convinced please let us know.
-------------------- tilly "I can make you feel good" -shalamar Women dont have hot flushes they just have power surges" Posts: 131 | From: uk | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
Jezz just remember Polygammy is illegal in the UK. You would have the full weight of the law behind you, but I wish you luck with your plans and I can understand it would be the lies that hurt if he has married in Egypt.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by jezz33: I would have been ok with the 2nd wife thing if he had told me, and if his family knew about me
You truly lack self-esteem. And please stop playing the victim here. It's time to do something about your relationship.
Your main priority should be to meet his family asap. You were in hiding long enough. You accepted these kind of circumstances.
If this is not going to happen you can only assume he fooled you big time. Kick his sorry @ss out. It's time to move on. Best of luck.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Im not playing the victim, just never pushed to meet his family so feel like im just as much to blame.
I have started asking more questions and im in the process of getting the marriage thing checked out - as i feel if he is married over there and i find this out for sure it will give me the push to get rid cos at the moment i find it easy to blame myself for the things ive done wrong
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
just being secretive, sending a lot of money home, lack of physical contact in our relationship - odd things like storing numbers in his phone under words rather than names
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
Have you asked him in a way that requires a yes or no answer? If not, you should. If his answer is no, tell him you want him to swear to God, three times, in Arabic ("walahee, walahee, walahee"). I'm not saying that's a sure fire answer, but many times that will get a Muslim Egyptian to tell the truth (something about if you swear it three times, God hears you).
Secrecy? Not cool, but not totally unusual and not necessary a clue he's married.
Sending a lot of money home? Eh, maybe. It could be because he's supporting a wife (and, if that's the case, likely children), however he really could be helping take care of sick parents.
Lack of physical contact? Hmmmmm. Do you suppose he's worried that you might get pregnant? You said he wants to hold off on babies until after he's got his papers fixed, so that may be the reason for that.
Storing phone numbers in his phone as words? I DO THAT. I don't know the name of the business that keeps our lawn, but I can easily retrieve it by looking up "LAWN CARE" in my directory.
I'm not making excuses for him. The biggest concern here is the secrecy about your marriage. It doesn't sound like you've spent a lot of time in Egypt to know the big deal surrounding marriages, including proposals, engagements, weddings, and wedding parties. THAT is what's most disturbing.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by stayingput: Have you asked him in a way that requires a yes or no answer? If not, you should. If his answer is no, tell him you want him to swear to God, three times, in Arabic ("walahee, walahee, walahee"). I'm not saying that's a sure fire answer, but many times that will get a Muslim Egyptian to tell the truth (something about if you swear it three times, God hears you).
Secrecy? Not cool, but not totally unusual and not necessary a clue he's married.
Sending a lot of money home? Eh, maybe. It could be because he's supporting a wife (and, if that's the case, likely children), however he really could be helping take care of sick parents.
Lack of physical contact? Hmmmmm. Do you suppose he's worried that you might get pregnant? You said he wants to hold off on babies until after he's got his papers fixed, so that may be the reason for that.
Storing phone numbers in his phone as words? I DO THAT. I don't know the name of the business that keeps our lawn, but I can easily retrieve it by looking up "LAWN CARE" in my directory.
I'm not making excuses for him. The biggest concern here is the secrecy about your marriage. It doesn't sound like you've spent a lot of time in Egypt to know the big deal surrounding marriages, including proposals, engagements, weddings, and wedding parties. THAT is what's most disturbing.
Good post.
Certainly a different perspective than the gung-ho, flog the bastard, guilty before trial postings that prevail in this thread. Some say follow your gut feeling. Sure, intuition is a great gift, but can also mislead. A marriage issue as hugely important as this requires tangible proof.
Posts: 2275 | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
staying put - this is how i feel, i think that this all could be genuine and I might just be listennig to others too much, which is why i have got to get some hard proof one way or the other.
So for now things are ticking along as normal while I try and collect some information together.
The thing that concerns me about our marriage is I thought he would want a big deal it was completely the oposite. wasnt interested what we would wear, and ive found out from my mum that the day he got the letter to say we had got the approval from the home office to get married here, he rang his egyptian friend to tell him before he even told me. We had no guests at our wedding, just the necesary 2 witnesses, no party after, no fuss. At the time I felf i was missing out but also didnt want to insist as I knew his family couldnt be there, but he played it all down like it wasnt a big deal. But he has told me about his brothers wedding etc where the had street parties etc,I dont understand why he wouldnt want more for us. I am 100% sure there is something he is hiding, it may not be a wife. I personally wonder wen we first got together he didnt intend on it being long term, and now he does and he feels torn cos he hasnt told his family and doesnt know how to after so long.
I am pretty confused but am doing my best to get solid proof of the wife information. Then hopefully ill know how to move forward.
Thankyou to everyone for posting, i appriciate your comments.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
also re the intimacy thing. I understand what you are saying about him not wanting me to get pregnant, however at the moment there is absolutely no physical contact, just the odd hug which i instigate.
He blames stress in egypt with his family and says he cant be intimate with me wen he is stressed but i also dont want to live a life with no physical contact from the man im with
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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quote:Originally posted by jezz33: also re the intimacy thing. I understand what you are saying about him not wanting me to get pregnant, however at the moment there is absolutely no physical contact, just the odd hug which i instigate.
He blames stress in egypt with his family and says he cant be intimate with me wen he is stressed but i also dont want to live a life with no physical contact from the man im with
Weird because making love is one of the best ways to relieve stress and make you forget life's troubles.
Posts: 2275 | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
I agree exiiled, but he says he doesnt have space in his head for it now.
Im holding back a bit talking on here, but i was young wen we met, no experience (I was also a virgin), and I wanted to wait until i met someone i loved and planned to settle down with. Which is wat i have done. But i feel maybe now i have been naive. to me sex is a very important part of a relationship. But I can honestly count the times we have made love in 4 years.
It makes me feel there is a bigger problem, but it also makes me feel so insecure.
I just feel pretty lost at the moment, as i dont want us to end things (Unless obviously i do find something like a wife) but i also dont want to carry on as we are. Problem is he is working so many hours at the moment that i bearly see him so we never get chance to properly talk.
Im not posting on here playing the victim or even looking for solid answers, just helps to have people to talk to and get different perspectives, like with the talking to his family at eid thing - i wouldnt have thought of that. So now im going to try that ( but not tell him yet) and see what the response is.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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quote:Originally posted by jezz33: I agree exiiled, but he says he doesnt have space in his head for it now.
Im holding back a bit talking on here, but i was young wen we met, no experience (I was also a virgin), and I wanted to wait until i met someone i loved and planned to settle down with. Which is wat i have done. But i feel maybe now i have been naive. to me sex is a very important part of a relationship. But I can honestly count the times we have made love in 4 years.
It makes me feel there is a bigger problem, but it also makes me feel so insecure.
I just feel pretty lost at the moment, as i dont want us to end things (Unless obviously i do find something like a wife) but i also dont want to carry on as we are. Problem is he is working so many hours at the moment that i bearly see him so we never get chance to properly talk.
Im not posting on here playing the victim or even looking for solid answers, just helps to have people to talk to and get different perspectives, like with the talking to his family at eid thing - i wouldnt have thought of that. So now im going to try that ( but not tell him yet) and see what the response is.
Hopefully you'll resolve the second wife issue and when that's done move on to the lack of intimacy problem. It's obvious that you have to take the initiative despite both of you lacking sexual experience and openness. It's unfortunate that strides haven't been made in this regard over the past four years of your marriage. You must make your husband understand that intimacy is crucial to a healthy and happy marriage. You have to make him understand that it's vital to your happiness.
Even if he has problems in Egypt, what is the relevancy of those problems when it comes to love making. You are right about one thing, you need to properly talk to him. It's unfortunate that you have to deal with big issues all at once, but something has to give. Doesn't he feel the uneasy vibes in the home? If you are too shy, then perhaps write him a letter with all your feelings, this should be a prelude to a meaningful and long awaited talk.
Posts: 2275 | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
I think your right, a letter would be easier, or maybe if i right it all down it will be easier for me to make sense of anyway.
He does feel uneasy vibes but he thinks that its me putting pressure on him wen he has problems I should be quiet and leave him to deal with it, but i just want to beside him n share everything with him, good or bad.
I dont ask for much, but he just is distancing himself so much. We dont really do anything together, its a viciuos circle. He has problems in egypt, so works hard to send more money, spends less time at home, wen he is home, doesnt sit in the same room most of the time, wont sleep in the same bed, expects me just not to ask questions. I want to be there for him but feel embarrassed as i feel like he doesnt want me. Also re. us not having much experience, he does, as when he worked in egypt he did have "girlfriends" its just me that hasnt the experience which hurts more as he could make love to women who werent important to him but now he is married he doesnt want to share that closeness with the one woman he should make love to, and tries to make out it isnt an issue, that i should be happy anyway and i think he feels sex wasnt important to me before we married as I hadnt made love to another man, but its the opposite, I didnt with anyone else becasue I was saving myself for the one id spend my life with because love making is so important to me that i didnt want to just go out and sleep with anyone and everyone.
Sometimes I just think things are such a big mess that its better to end it cos I dont see how it can ever all get sorted out? But then deep down i do want to be with him as wen i got married as far as i was concerned marriage is forever.
We did have a chat recentley and he begged me to stay with him and that im all he wants etc etc and he will do anything to make me happy, but i shouldnt need to tell hoim to make me happy he should just want to make me happy becasue im his wofe, like i want to make him happy
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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We did have a chat recentley and he begged me to stay with him and that im all he wants etc etc and he will do anything to make me happy, but i shouldnt need to tell hoim to make me happy he should just want to make me happy becasue im his wofe, like i want to make him happy
Jezz this is such a naive statement, men just don't work like that, you have to tell them what you want in a plain and simple way. Writing him a letter is a great idea, but don't just make it a list of complaints, make sure its a positive letter with all the things you want in life for both of you to be happy.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by jezz33: I think your right, a letter would be easier, or maybe if i right it all down it will be easier for me to make sense of anyway.
He does feel uneasy vibes but he thinks that its me putting pressure on him wen he has problems I should be quiet and leave him to deal with it, but i just want to beside him n share everything with him, good or bad.
I dont ask for much, but he just is distancing himself so much. We dont really do anything together, its a viciuos circle. He has problems in egypt, so works hard to send more money, spends less time at home, wen he is home, doesnt sit in the same room most of the time, wont sleep in the same bed, expects me just not to ask questions. I want to be there for him but feel embarrassed as i feel like he doesnt want me. Also re. us not having much experience, he does, as when he worked in egypt he did have "girlfriends" its just me that hasnt the experience which hurts more as he could make love to women who werent important to him but now he is married he doesnt want to share that closeness with the one woman he should make love to, and tries to make out it isnt an issue, that i should be happy anyway and i think he feels sex wasnt important to me before we married as I hadnt made love to another man, but its the opposite, I didnt with anyone else becasue I was saving myself for the one id spend my life with because love making is so important to me that i didnt want to just go out and sleep with anyone and everyone.
Sometimes I just think things are such a big mess that its better to end it cos I dont see how it can ever all get sorted out? But then deep down i do want to be with him as wen i got married as far as i was concerned marriage is forever.
We did have a chat recentley and he begged me to stay with him and that im all he wants etc etc and he will do anything to make me happy, but i shouldnt need to tell hoim to make me happy he should just want to make me happy becasue im his wofe, like i want to make him happy
I have a couple of questions. How long has he been this miserable? Were you both happier before marriage? Happier during your first year of marriage? When did your husbands problems start?
Your are right that you shouldn't have to tell him to make you happy. But at the same time if he is being simple minded and letting his 'problems' consume him, he might be blind to your needs. There are spouses that place their partner in the back burner, thinking that they will always be there.
The easy way is to end it. But if you truly love him, then you should exhaust every effort to right the ship. Either way think positive and try not to overwhelm yourself.
Posts: 2275 | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
Thanks, to be honest I have always through the relationship tended to go on blindly thinking everything will be ok etc etc but there have always been problems.
We werent really happy even at the time we got married, but again I put it down to stress etc and reassured myself things would get better.
I think you have summed him up, he does just think ill always be there. and that ill put up with whatever cos we are married and together that it as far as he is concerned, and I also feel very selfish for all of a sudden wanting more. But I cant live my life feeling im missing out, and honestly i feel he must be missing out too as he cant be happy, although he says that everything that he is unhappy with is nothing to do with me, its pressures at home etc.
I do truly love him, which is why this is tearing me apart so much and I feel that im completely betraying him digging around behind his back. But I cant help feeling there is something not right, its just going to take some time to talk and to try and become part of his family.
Exilled I appriciate your comments as i feel the same, that this may all be due to a lack of communication and immaturity on both parts, not necessarily that he is a bad man
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
lol Penny, I know I sometimes have quite a naive view of the world, not making excuses but lack of experience etc makes me feel that a lot of this is due to me not telling him how I feel.
Im working on it! Just dont want to bombard him with all these things at once, need to communicate more definitely
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
Find someone in Egypt who can check out his family if you know where they live. Heck I would stop at nothing now to find out. My guess is he is definitely married and most likely has kids. If this is the case...run him out of the UK as fast as you can lol...stopping at nothing. He could do this again to another unsuspecting lady. Good luck jezz33..at least there are no kids by this man yet.
Posts: 263 | From: Georgia USA | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Jezz the only other explanation could be that his family are putting pressure on him to marry??? and h is having to send money home to his family for this reason - plus they would want an income, this is expected as they see him a rich man in their eyes. This maybe would explain the way hes acting being all defensive and troubles.Also the way he is evading being close to you. Can you have a heart to heart. This would be a huge burden for him.. just a thought
Posts: 131 | From: uk | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
Hi Shalamar, you could be right. I am planning a heart to heart but needs to be when we are together for more than just an hour or two.
Probably one evening this week.
Sherryberryblue, I am however going to check out the marriage in egypt, i am in the process of talking to a lawyer who has been recommended by a close family friend who has dealt with him before. I need to know for sure one way or the other for my own sanity and just asking friends etc isnt going to give me any reliable proof.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2010
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quote:Originally posted by shalamar: Jezz the only other explanation could be that his family are putting pressure on him to marry??? and h is having to send money home to his family for this reason - plus they would want an income, this is expected as they see him a rich man in their eyes.
Wrong.
Wrong, wrong, WRONG.
Marriage is NOT the only other possible reason. Off the top of my head, I can think of one more: HELPING HIS FAMILY.
Maybe he's making sure his family - mom, dad, sister(s), brother(s), etc., - EAT.
Maybe he's bought an air conditioner, or a fan or two, to make their life a little more comfortable and maybe, just maybe, he's helping pay the electric bill that goes along with it.
Maybe he's helped his brother get married and to do that he's taught a man to fish by helping him start his own business.
Maybe he has a sister or two he's helping to get married.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
There are a lot of maybe's here but very few facts. To ponder only one other reason is not fair to the only party that has not had a voice here, the husband.
I will state this claim, as a fact. In Egypt, the price of getting by faithfully goes up each time consumption goes up (think "feasts" - particularly but not singularly Muslim) and those prices do not come back down. Meanwhile, wages and salaries stay stagnant.
There is NO WAY every finger should be pointing at another wife. I repeat, NO WAY.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
Well said Stayingput and add to that the costs of medical care with no state health system if a member of the family is sick.
What is wrong though for Jezz is that she is kept out of family matters so just doesn't know what the actual reasons are.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Staying put -i was just looking at other alternatives - and yes all maybes - just a thought why hes under so much stress - looking at different angles. Pressure from the families does exist and it could be this ..no not necessarily a wife ,,,,
-------------------- tilly "I can make you feel good" -shalamar Women dont have hot flushes they just have power surges" Posts: 131 | From: uk | Registered: Apr 2009
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quote:Originally posted by Dubai Girl: Jezz, I have to say I agree that there is a strong possibility that he is married already. I can understand from your viewpoint that you didn't know about the culture etc and didn't really question it, but 4 years??? My god this is the person you have comitted to spending your life with. I could understand if it was a boyfriend and you had never met his family but to be married and it never happening is just plain strange and can ONLY be because he is hiding something, ie YOU!
Also he is living with you in the UK is that right? What the hell do his family think he is doing here? Surely they must have asked why he is living here what kind of visa did he get? Egyptians are nosey in my experience so it makes me wonder what he said?? Also if his family apparently think he is young free and single they're going to be putting the pressure on him to find a wife. My husband left Egypt to work abroad aged 26 and up until he met me four years later his mother was often asking when is he going to settle down and get married. This is the case in most families in Egypt. Family is so important in Egypt. I knew very little about their culture when I met my husband and I had reservations in the beginning as we both lived in Dubai at the time we met and had to travel to Cairo to meet his parents and we went back several times before we got married and since that moment they have been in our lives constantly. We live in the UK now and my family and his are constantly in our lives. We had a baby very recently and she is a first grandchild for everyone and his parents are just dying to see her, the call us on skype about 4 times a week to see her on the webcam. Too many times on here people dont question strange behaviour and put it down to "cultural differences." Your husband is definitely hiding something from you and if it were me I would make it my mission to find out. Don't waste any more time. Demand to meet his family and insist he takes you to Egypt. If he won't he's a liar so divorce his arse and send it back to where he came from!
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