vito my friend
DONT GIVE UP until you want to........if you are half the man you show yourself to be then i think you will win.

as i said i dont often get mad - i am not going to say sorry for what i have written - i mean it

I'm sorry I did not catch up with the thread the last few days, but I see the girls (Katrina, Kay, Monica, Tigerlily..) gave you all their support and encouragement you'll need inshaAllah.

I've been living in Cairo for 9 years and I have never regretted leaving Austria for my husband and Islam.

The biggest problem I had in the beginning was the language.. it is so frustrating if you don't understand anything being said around you, would have made me feel lonely, if my husband was not there always by my side translating and explaining.

What I did appriciate and still do above all, that there are no secrets between us. It is common in Egypt that spouses don't tell their partner a little secret concerning their family, so a few years down the line they won't hear from their partner, that 'you are just like your mother, uncle, brother...'. My husband told me a very well hidden secret about his father, for this he earned a lesson from his uncle - how could he tell me something like this? Even my mom-in-law had to gasp when she knew that I knew (they've been divorced anyway for many years).

Something funny, when we decided to get married, my husband's uncle run an investigation on me.. his position allowed him to, to see if I was not a Jewish spy after all. My mil took it easy, she said it would show over the time, if I want to stay only for the good weather or if I'm really in love with him...

I managed to learn Arabic over the time and Allah opened my heart towards Islam, so 1 1/2 years after my marriage I converted to Islam, and shortly after I dediced to wear the hajab alhamdulillah.

I think your fiancee is scared a little from all the stares and looks, that is something one has to get used to. Make sure with her, that if anybody says anything to her that causes a confusion or doubt about that person, to tell you, so you could clarify immediately. Be sure about your friends and their intentions.

What I had to learn is how to keep the distance to people I did not know that well, without being impolite, or what I thought was impolite. I found out the best way to answer many question you don't want to spend ages to answer, or that is simply not this persons' business, is with: alhamdulillah (thanks to Allah), and inshaAllah (if Allah wills).

Keep us updated and let us know any news from you inshaAllah,

quote:

---

Originally posted by Vito:
sonomod,
It would be better to understand first then to start insulting people,i really don have time to write chunk of words to defend myself, just if u have time,try to use it in reading again and try to understand anything.u seem like u r fighting with yourself without any reasons.
thanks,

---

Vito, your girlfriend is quite young, 20, from Russia, you said? Was this the first time she went abroad to another country, experienced another culture?

No doubt about that you both love each other very much. But the problems I see - you mentioned before - is that she is afraid to live in Egypt. What is she afraid about in specific?

You know you can't force her for anything because this would not be right. She has to come with her own will ..... otherwise - if she will not be happy living in Egypt - she will let you know this all the time. And you don't want an unhappy wife around you, right?
Believe me its tough for anyone to move to a totally different county with another culture - some people never adjust.

I believe you should meet once more, maybe she can arrange to come for another three months to visit, experience more the culture, you have to explain to her many more things and you are able to find out whats moving her mind and why she is so resistant.

And please if she decides against you and doesn't get married to you and move to Egypt, don't feel bad about her. You both still have a chance to be together but maybe not in Egypt.

quote:

---

Originally posted by katrina:
Vito, sweetheart, do not worry. there will be plenty of moments like this in life. Who cares? it is just one pinion based on her own experience, remember that. remember the limitations of the advice offered. You just learn how to shake it off! smile and walk tall!

---

That right not allowed to defend myself.

Yet that is so unnatural for me. I have a soul.

People misinformations reaffirms my worst fears of the young generation in Egypt.

And reaffirms my distrust in Europeans.

Why do American youths seem to have such old souls?

I'll stick around the older generation and avoid the young haters who are pro-Taliban.

quote:

---

Originally posted by sonomod:
are pro-Taliban.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by homesick2:
Getting loony again are we!!!!!!

---

You's sound so much like some of the young people I met that thought the Taliban was the true Islamic socieity. And that if they tried to recreate a true Islamic society like the Taliban it would rid Misr of all evil American influences. This to my face, my first time in Misr.

Yah, they sounded like haters.

An older person about 70 came up to me in the street and apologized for 911 (which he didn't need to) and told be to be aware that Misr wasn't always like this, the young people scare him too.

Sweet hold chap. I cry when I remember these sweet mercies.

quote:

---

Originally posted by sonomod:
You's sound so much like some of the young people I met that thought the Taliban was the true Islamic socieity. And that if they tried to recreate a true Islamic society like the Taliban it would rid Misr of all evil American influences. This to my face, my first time in Misr.

Yah, they sounded like haters.

An older person about 70 came up to me in the street and apologized for 911 (which he didn't need to) and told be to be aware that Misr wasn't always like this, the young people scare him too.

Sweet hold chap. I cry when I remember these sweet mercies.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by homesick2:

The reason i wrote you're getting loony is that you've started writing about the taliban out of the thin air and for the second time.
What brings the taliban into this discussion?What exactly is the problem? you're getting carried away.It's ok to fel sorry for yourself but you're getting paranoid.

---

Are you lucid?

How would you feel if someone walked up to you, your first time in America and said, "We've elected George W. Bush on his Neo-Natzi campaign to rid our country of Arab influences".

Now how does that feel?

Now imagine after spending the last 11 months spending most of your time working overnights, raising a baby single handedly, paying all the bills on your own and handing excess from your student loan (at least $5,000 in the last year), being yelled and cussed at for hours every third day, going without sleep for 48 hours or more at a time because on your husband's day off he won't watch the baby so you can sleep for 2 hours before work. Then to have someone of your husband's nationality to say its better to have a harsh utilitarian regime wipe out your culture's influence and put America 'in its place'.

Then to leave your daughter only because you don't know when you will lose it. Or when you husband fill finally beat you silly like he's promised and the authorities take the child away.

quote:

---

Originally posted by sonomod:

Are you lucid?

How would you feel if someone walked up to you, your first time in America and said, "We've elected George W. Bush on his Neo-Natzi campaign to rid our country of Arab influences".

Now how does that feel?

Now imagine after spending the last 11 months spending most of your time working overnights, raising a baby single handedly, paying all the bills on your own and handing excess from your student loan (at least $5,000 in the last year), being yelled and cussed at for hours every third day, going without sleep for 48 hours or more at a time because on your husband's day off he won't watch the baby so you can sleep for 2 hours before work. Then to have someone of your husband's nationality to say its better to have a harsh utilitarian regime wipe out your culture's influence and put America 'in its place'.

Then to leave your daughter only because you don't know when you will lose it. Or when you husband fill finally beat you silly like he's promised and the authorities take the child away.

I am starting to wonder if my child is better off without me or my husband.

---

Easy question to answer the child would be better off without you. I can not believe your attitudes and posts. Why on earth are coming to Egypt, please stay away. I don't want someone like you in my beloved Egypt. You give Westerners a bad image with your appaling attitude.

quote:

---

Originally posted by akshar:

Easy question to answer the child would be better off without you. I can not believe your attitudes and posts. Why on earth are coming to Egypt, please stay away. I don't want someone like you in my beloved Egypt. You give Westerners a bad image with your appaling attitude.

---

Okay I will par you with this....

Since the child is better off without me, do you agree with my husband and his friends that and infidel has no right to raise a Muslim child, that I will impair her ascent to paradise?

And Since I should stay away from Egypt, should I use my accumulated evidence of this sham marriage I was tricked into to have my husband petition thrown out so he can be charged with fraud, espionage, and treason; which is a new offense under the US patrioct act?

Why is okay for him to stay here and enjoy the progressive prosperity of the US when I can not see my child?

Does my husband give Arabs a bad image my being an unfaithful, negligent and abusive husband? Or is that what infidels deserve?

I bet you can answer half of my questions without turning into a hypocrit.

quote:

---

Originally posted by sonomod:
That right not allowed to defend myself.

Yet that is so unnatural for me. I have a soul.

People misinformations reaffirms my worst fears of the young generation in Egypt.

And reaffirms my distrust in Europeans.

Why do American youths seem to have such old souls?

I'll stick around the older generation and avoid the young haters who are pro-Taliban.

---

she is judging young and old souls the way she like and pro-taliban, sonomod certainly ur mislead by ur bad experiences and ur such an offender

why would some one in egypt need to apologise for 9/11

my irish mates never felt the need to say sorry to me for the birmingham pub bombings

do you think that every irish person is ira?
every spanish person is eta?
every arab is taliban?

i feel so sad for your situation but you do need help.

you cant keep making such sweeping statements - do you not read the posts in reply to you? - a lot of the people here that relply are arab - they have treated you more kindly than the westerners - not everyone is like your husband - i was married to a jamacan - i had a terrible time but i still love the jamacan people - still have friends there - i have just been thru a bit of heartbreak with an egyptian but i still love the country i would never let my experience with one man colour my perceptions of an entire race.

so get some help - im sure there are organisations that could help you get away from this situation - dont just stay in side the bad times - if you try to help yourself then there is always someone else who will help you.

vito - sorry your thread keeps getting hijacked but i felt that i had to reply.
keep in touch with your girl and follow some of the exelent advice you are getting.
ask her if she would like to log on here as well - then she can explain her worries.

this is getting to feel like a family - i hope we all get an invite to your wedding vito?

Sonomod, you don't have to say anything good about anything.

Get out of your horrible marriage and chill out ........ but don't blame another culture for its failure.

Stay in the USA, live in an area where you feel comfortably and go on with your life.

Don't forget you just live once.

quote:

---

Originally posted by kay in love:
[B]sonomod

why would some one in egypt need to apologise for 9/11

my irish mates never felt the need to say sorry to me for the birmingham pub bombings

do you think that every irish person is ira?
every spanish person is eta?
every arab is taliban?

B]

---

Strange, talk about jumping to conclusions.

I never said they needed to apologize. If you look at what in brackets () I refered to the fact that he didn't need to.

No the eta is not entirely fully a spanish group. Don't ask, the magazine Mother Jones did an impose on it a few times.

Read posts throughly, otherwise you miss something.

No arabs don't normally support the Taliban unless they want to piss off an American in total culture shock.

The Taliban was created in Afghanistan with the financial help from exiled Saudis, Syrians, and Egyptians. Mainly to buy off officials and for guns.

Yet, of course at one time Irish were searched extensively at Boston Airport.

Now in Brazil they only document American visitors and no one else.

Go figure.

quote:

---

Originally posted by sonomod:
Okay I will par you with this....

Since the child is better off without me, do you agree with my husband and his friends that and infidel has no right to raise a Muslim child, that I will impair her ascent to paradise?

No my answer was not from any religious reason but your child would be better of without because you have so much hate in your heart. It is not good to raise a child in this kind of atmosphere.

And Since I should stay away from Egypt, should I use my accumulated evidence of this sham marriage I was tricked into to have my husband petition thrown out so he can be charged with fraud, espionage, and treason; which is a new offense under the US patrioct act?

Why is okay for him to stay here and enjoy the progressive prosperity of the US when I can not see my child?

This has nothing to do with your potential move to Egypt. Comming here will resolve nothing for you. I suggested already you get professional help. You need it badly. Once you have that then make a decision about your future. But with your attitudes you should never come to Egypt.

Does my husband give Arabs a bad image my being an unfaithful, negligent and abusive husband? Or is that what infidels deserve?

You are confusing Arabs and Muslims. I don't generalise about people. I am Christian and my Muslim husband is not unfaithful, negligent or abusive. And if he was it would have nothing to do with his country of origin or his religion.

I bet you can answer half of my questions without turning into a hypocrit.

---

Well I amswered all of them. You made the assumption that I was Muslim because I stuck up for Arab men and this shows so many things about you.

For God Sake get some help

quote:

---

Originally posted by akshar:
Well I amswered all of them. You made the assumption that I was Muslim because I stuck up for Arab men and this shows so many things about you.

For God Sake get some help

---

And your a second wife which even my husband considers an impaired choice.

I got help, two different psychologists. and I am on meds.

I am 8000 miles from my daughter. Even my mother who wasn't even a good influence on my life growing up, comment that I am a good mother.

I made all the sacrifices, did all the work and coward while he rants.

Besides both psychologists suggested divorce. Noting that my husband is not vested or even handling a small portion of responsibilities.

Your rants help me divise a understanding to avoid some of the more poignant and brutal remarks I have recieved from Muslim and Arab women here and in egypt. They were not as openly aggressive and one sided as you, so I see exactly how their clogs turn. Not to say all the hatred is formed alike in the same fashion.

I know now to stay the heck away from the young women. If was funny to watch my sister-in-laws father and mother tell her to get a life and stop being so mean. Her mother is a good cook and is pretty. Though the youngest son is a major of American philosophy before 1820. That explains why their perceptions are so poisoned and squeed.

There is nothing like being uninformed to make you confident.

quote:

---

Originally posted by sonomod:

Your rants help me divise a understanding to avoid some of the more poignant and brutal remarks I have recieved from Muslim and Arab women here and in egypt.

I know now to stay the heck away from the young women.

There is nothing like being uninformed to make you confident.

---

Wow are you uninformed I am not young, Arab or Muslim.

Look you have managed to offend, annoy and insult most of the members of this board. I think this says so much about you and the issues you have to deal with. I would talk this over with the Dr's you are seeing and try and see the pattern here.

quote:

---

Originally posted by akshar:
Wow are you uninformed I am not young, Arab or Muslim.

Look you have managed to offend, annoy and insult most of the members of this board. I think this says so much about you and the issues you have to deal with. I would talk this over with the Dr's you are seeing and try and see the pattern here.

---

How about insulting me? Why is it that it is the perception that women are constantly at fault and that men don't have responsibilities.

Face the facts it is common perception in the west that arab women are not treated as equals. Arab women up untill the last 5 decades have lived separate lives from men.

300 NGOs can not be wrong. Check your facts, Islamic professors who happen to be women themselves see a major room for improvement. Even male clerics in the Arab world.

Pre-Islamic culture is still King and it overpowers people's religious sensibilities. There is a spiritual, cultural, and religious Islam as well as Christian counterparts of the three.

quote:

---

Originally posted by shumza:
And are you taking your meds?

---

Disable my account.

I can tell if yous weaving the fabric that Jack Van Impe cuts his cloth of controversy from.

Talk about reinforcing negative stereotypes.

Askar when was the last time your dh promised to beat you silly?

Wow, two shrinks????? Aren't you special.

unbelieveable my firends... Please do as my mother taught me... Ignore this "touble maker" and "If you have nothing nice to say, PLEASE dont say anything at all!"

Now to get back on the topic........

I am so glad you turned to ES members to help you in your need The one thing I can tell you is this......

Love that is true & strong can overcome even the thickes walls, the most strong boundries. Believe in your feelings, remind her to have faith in you that you will care for her. Remind her to have Faith in God.

Love that is ment to be & blessed by God will be. I speak from experience on this matter. I was belssed with meeting & falling in love with the man I believe Allah intended me to be with.

I am American, he is Egyptian, we have rown together in so many ways & each day I thank God for this wonderful experience. We had many things to overcome as well, but each day little by little we worked it all out.

God bless you & your love... best of luck & remember to have faith!

regards,

my last word on this

i love egypt

i only met kindness and hospitality from the egyptian men and women that i met

i had a bad experience with one man - and that entailed no abuse apart from a few sweet words - and i cant even start to feel anger towards his country or men in general

finally - i love this forum and the friends i have made - if some folk cant see that there are good PEOPLE here then they are blind

quote:

---

Originally posted by shumza:
Isn't it ironic that a second wife(which your husband considers an impaired choice)is respected and treated much better than you, a super intelligent middle class American woman?

Akshar when was the last time your dh promised to beat you silly?

---

Shumza thanks for that it made me laugh and I needed that. I think I shall leave sonomod to herself. We have all given her good advice but she is not listening because she has so much hate inside her. How sad

salam vito

i dont think someone who is not concerned to be real enough and faithful would simply post a personal stuff overhere this way so i believe ur a real guy and much interested and inshallah may allah bless ur relation

vito if its meant to be it will be beggad, and if its for good inshallah god would help u much. Just be faihtful and know that god is ur witness, if ur seeking her for the good and for a pure relation god knows all and certainly pray for him and go ahead and why dont u " estekhara" and go ahead and just accept whats meant to be at the end

barak allahu fik and may allah give u much as ur intentions are...

be bald, go get ur princess and remember to not fall off ur horse :

salam ya 7obby

be bald, go get ur princess and remember to not fall off ur horse :

quote:

---

Originally posted by Penny:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by EgyptianDoc77:
[

be bald, go get ur princess and remember to not fall off ur horse :

But will she still love him with no hair ......... sorrrrry could not resist that one.

---

hehehehee, thats funny , being oriented to baldness as part of my work i rather typed " bald " than type " bold" hehehehehe

but thx god it was meant to draw a smile on ur cute face penny.... : hehehehehe

be safe

quote:

---

Originally posted by Vito:

u draw a smile on her face but u removed the hair from my head....
where r u Katrina ?!!!

---

hey, buddy, what do you mean? hehee

quote:

---

Originally posted by sonomod:
Okay I will par you with this....

Since the child is better off without me, do you agree with my husband and his friends that and infidel has no right to raise a Muslim child, that I will impair her ascent to paradise?

And Since I should stay away from Egypt, should I use my accumulated evidence of this sham marriage I was tricked into to have my husband petition thrown out so he can be charged with fraud, espionage, and treason; which is a new offense under the US patrioct act?

Why is okay for him to stay here and enjoy the progressive prosperity of the US when I can not see my child?

Does my husband give Arabs a bad image my being an unfaithful, negligent and abusive husband? Or is that what infidels deserve?

I bet you can answer half of my questions without turning into a hypocrit.

---

Let's see, he's "negligent, unfaithful, abusive, and you're in a fraudulent sham marriage"..... But "at least he was never a busboy"!

quote:

---

Originally posted by sonomod:

How about insulting me? Why is it that it is the perception that women are constantly at fault and that men don't have responsibilities.

Face the facts it is common perception in the west that arab women are not treated as equals. Arab women up untill the last 5 decades have lived separate lives from men.

300 NGOs can not be wrong. Check your facts, Islamic professors who happen to be women themselves see a major room for improvement. Even male clerics in the Arab world.

Pre-Islamic culture is still King and it overpowers people's religious sensibilities. There is a spiritual, cultural, and religious Islam as well as Christian counterparts of the three.

Possible denial for you is a way of coping, studying your reactions allow me a route to insulate myself from harm.

---

http://www.schizophrenia-help.com/

quote:

---

Originally posted by hassancheb:
Let's see, he's "negligent, unfaithful, abusive, and you're in a fraudulent sham marriage"..... But "at least he was never a busboy"!

---

Alright I'll sink to your level hasselchump You are a massive bitch.

Give it time housewife, you'll get yours.

quote:

---

Originally posted by egyptianbeast:

http://www.schizophrenia-help.com/

this might help u

---

And you are a resurrected member with a grudge.

If I look closely enough to your grammar I'll figure it out. But you were probably chasing some aging old ass with money on this forum before.

Too bad that is the predominant Egyptian male character these forums attract.