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Originally posted by young at heart:
To be fair Habeeby didn't come on here for advice, just to tell her story. Everyone can give they're advice but at the end of the day she knows what's right for her.

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Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers:
Lying to his family about what?

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Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by Tigerlily:
I think no one has the right to judge her boyfriend because of his profession due to religious reasons. People are needed for this job, the market is out there and since unemployment is high in Egypt he can call himself lucky to be employed by the hotel. Not every masseur is a cheater just like not every doctor is having an affair with the nurse.

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Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by Penny:
TL I am not judging his 'profession' because of religious resons, in fact I am not judging him but just stating facts. This is not an acceptable 'profession' in Egypt and you have to look at it from an Egyptian cultural perspective and not a European one. Why do you think all the good hotels employ foreigners for this work. I used to know 2 Germans that came and worked in a 5* hotel for a season and many philipinos come as well as they have great skills in this work.

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Because with a foreigner the hotel can charge way more for the service?

A foreigner means or at least supposed to mean 'great qualifications', it's a status symbol and many Egyptians still have this inferior complex and believe that everything what is non-Egyptian must be automatically better.

You must remember for every foreigner which gets employed one Egyptian is more unemployed.

And as I stated above I don't judge people by what they are professionally doing is 'haram' (since I am not a Muslim myself) but I think that he's owning his money in a respectful way in a profession which is worldwide practised. Hence after all he is not sitting in a shisha cafe all day and playing tawla so he is not lazy!

When I hear that a man works as a masseur it's normal for me, I think about relaxation. Dirty thoughts and thoughts of cheating don't occur to me. A woman who constantly throws jealousy fits because of the job her man is performing is definitely not the right wife for him.

And just to make it clear one more time: Any man can cheat regardless of his profession.

Now no one knows habeeby's boyfriend in person and I can't commend on the other things she posted about him but I do wish her and him well and hopefully the future holds only the best for both of them (now habeeby don't complain we didn't warn you! )

Ah live and let live.

Oh now I am waiting for some woman other than habeeby to show up on this forum who claims to know him much better!!

Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by habeeby:
I met my Egyptian Soulmate in March - he is the most perfect man i have ever met, sometimes i think too good to be true!!! Anyway i have returned to Egypt 5 times this year (can't get enough of his sweet words) i a now making plans to marry him in February. I can honestly say that i would never even consider an English man again - thumbs up to Arabian Princes

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So much has been said here so far...
Habeeby, is it LOVE or INFATUATION?
You will do what you want.
If a man (Egyptian, British, Russian, ...) wants to cheat, he will. Even five minutes is enough (hehe )
I may be wrong, but an Egyptian masseur in Sharm or Hurghada ... - high risk factor.
But it's up to you...

Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by habeeby:
No seriously thanks for your sincere advice
I know how it looks from the other side i have said to myself many times what advice would i give my best friend if she was in my situation and the answer is BEWARE!!! But only the person involved in the relationship can really know if the relationship is worth working at and that's what any relationship is 'hard work', especially when two different cultures come together. There will always be good times and bad times but if both people are supporting each other through this they can get through the bad times and smile together at the good times. Life is short and people should grab any piece of happiness they can find with both hands and cling on tightly, regrets are no good to anybody!!!

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Exactly. People here said this or that - but, I think, we all CARE what will happen to you.

Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by Makbeta:
Yes, yes... That's the most frequent question these men ask, "WHEN WILL YOU COME, LOVE?"

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I thought it was " I'M COMING BIATCH!"

Posts: 176 | From: Proud to be Egyptian | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by ShirleyValentinesFantasyLives:
I dont even allow her to sit in back of taxi so driver can see her in mirror.

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Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by bettyN:
Tigerlily, sorry I don't know your name. Yes I was in Egypt for about 3 weeks. Stayed in Naser city part of the time which I hated and then checked in to my favorite place - The Marriott.
My husband will be coming soon, thank god as I am disliking Egypt more and more.

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Tigerlily is fine!

Sorry that your visit didn't work out so well and you were forced to move into a hotel. What happened, you just didn't like Nasr City?

Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by Tigerlily:
But may I ask about the situation in the taxi? Where is she supposed to sit then? Next to the cab driver or on the roof of the car (sorry lame joke I know)! Seriously I learned from the very beginning ONLY to sit in the back of the car.

Have a good day! [/QB]

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On the roof of the car?? LOL
I was told the same by an Egyptian; always sit in the back of the car. But I did not listen to his advice; I wanted to be prepared for the worst and judge the driving-skills of taxi-drivers myself.

Posts: 2932 | From: Just now and then | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by ?????:
You don't have to justify being able to go on holidays 5 times in 8 months. It is said because IMO it is saying something about the person you are.
When ppl are in regular jobs, they don't have that much free days. Besides that, they couldn't effort it. It is a economical class indicator!

You state to have been working hard to reach this all.

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Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by Oldbag:

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Originally posted by ?????:
You don't have to justify being able to go on holidays 5 times in 8 months. It is said because IMO it is saying something about the person you are.
When ppl are in regular jobs, they don't have that much free days. Besides that, they couldn't effort it. It is a economical class indicator!

You state to have been working hard to reach this all.

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Just have to comment on that notion:

Everyone in the UK is BY LAW required to have 20 days holidays a year (including the public holidays) and from sometime now (either now or soon) they will have the public holidays on top of that ie 28 days holidays. In many jobs in the UK, you will have 30-40 days holidays (which includes 8 days of public holidays) so you could easily have a full time job and take 5 holidays a year if they are 1 week at a time. If you can take short notice holidays, then you could do it quite cheaply.
You cannot make any assumptions about any UK-based person's wealth or work based on holidays.
Didn't check where Habiby is from but I think its the UK

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Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by habeeby:
i think i should tell you in respect of the age difference we are not talking 10 or 15 years we are talking 7 years, in respect of the dancing with egyptian men these were his friends and family people that he trusts with his life so it follows that he trusts them with his woman and they are also very good friends of mine, i would never dance with men i did not know as this would be disrespectful to him. I am not a muslim woman i am a christian and if he did not try to understand my culture as i try to understand his he would be history, in respect of the choosing his clients i have been to work with him many times and i know that this is fact unfortunatelly i also know that some women do slip through and proposition him but he deals with this professionally usually introducing them to me as his wife and they are embarassed and cease to proposition him. I also think tht you are being very unfair to his profession he is a very skilled man who chooses to make medical massage because he likes to help people who have medical problems. Yes i know that there are many gigolos in this profession and i know some of them who work in the same health club, the masseurs scold them and tell them that they give their work a bad reputation. My feelings are that if a woman wants to pay for 'special massage' and she knows that is what she is getting and not love then that is her business. My marriage is being planned at the moment by both my family and his, it will be a 'proper marriage' with many of his friends and family and some of my friends and family. I wil then have a secnd marriage in England due to some of my family and friends being unable to travel to Alexandria. By the way i love staying in Deta Sharm it is a 5*complex were many Egyptian and European people stay of all ages and many famillies with children it is not full of older women with younger Egyptian men. I choose to stay there because i have many friends who live their (Egyptian men with European wives mostly similar ages), these are happily married people with children who we socialise with on a regular basis. I am grateful that they cannot see your comments, i think that they would be insulted! Finally why do i have to justify having 5 holidays in 1 year i work very hard in a very stressfull profession and therefore i think that i can have as many holidays as i can afford.

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7 years difference is not so bad, however; I must admit that everything else doesn't sound promising. I will agree with HunnyBunny, he could be the greatest & so innocent and everyone could be wrong, but the chances of that being so are SO SMALL you have to ask this:
Is what you are willing to risk worth more than you are willing to lose?

Doesn't matter if you danced with his friends, family or anything, especially HIS FRIENDS! A respectable guy would NOT allow that here - generally. Many of the men don't even like their woman to dance in public as it draws the attention and eyes of others and I cannot imagine one saying 'yes, here is my friend, please move your body in rhythm with him and have fun while I watch'. ?? I don't get it. You said it follows that he trusts him...you are projecting your OWN cultural norms onto his...that's how it works in the West maybe, not here at all. You have to deal with him according to his own cultural standards and norms ONLY otherwise he's going to continue to be able to deceive you. That begins with making yourself familiar with what the norms here are. That takes times.

ALSO, I highly recommend finding out what city/village he is from, trying to find someone online from that area and find out as much as you can about his reputation there. Many times these men already have wives there...or just bad reputations in general. You cannot always go on what you feel or see in his family as often times the family can be in on the fact that he is marrying you in order to either obtain a visa or money as they realize they will benefit greatly.

I don't think it's wrong that you travel so often to Egypt, in fact, it's rather good that you are going and see things yourself. I would ask how much he is contributing to your travels, though. Are you visiting his family or just him? How long are you staying? Are you feeling things out from a realistic point of view or just as a tourist?

I agree there are marriages that work and you may have found some that have families and things work well, and yours may be the same. I highly recommend to live in Egypt for a while if possible to get a feel for his culture and his character -- and do NOT get pregnant until you feel you know what you're getting into.
One last thing: what he shows you he does at work might not always be what really happens.

People here are not intentionally trying to trash on him, many of us ended up in a lucky situation with our husbands but there are COUNTLESS stories of women (which seems to be the majority) who were duped who would have 'never imagined/expected' it from their 'Egyptian Prince'. You can usually spot key words, if he says things like:

I can't live without you.
I will not lose you.
I am nothing without you.

These are *usually* not things a serious guy will say (USUALLY, ladies if yours said it please don't attack), as the serious man approaches marriage in a serious way and doesn't treat the relationship as a soap opera. The soap opera guys like to lay it on thick and if he is constantly using romantic words and making you feel dizzy with love, it's not 100% bad but you should encourage him to hold that for when you get married and see what else he has to say.

LAST WORD OF WARNING: if he disses Egyptian woman. Most serious and good men won't do this, others trying to convince you of why they don't want one will not. If he is dissin' Egyptian women in general remember is mother, sister(s), aunt(s) and grandmother(s) are Egyptian, why does he want you to think so badly of the women here if for anything other than his own gain?

Just my opinion.
Best of luck.

Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by ?????:

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Originally posted by Oldbag:

quote:

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Originally posted by ?????:
You don't have to justify being able to go on holidays 5 times in 8 months. It is said because IMO it is saying something about the person you are.
When ppl are in regular jobs, they don't have that much free days. Besides that, they couldn't effort it. It is a economical class indicator!

You state to have been working hard to reach this all.

.............

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Just have to comment on that notion:

Everyone in the UK is BY LAW required to have 20 days holidays a year (including the public holidays) and from sometime now (either now or soon) they will have the public holidays on top of that ie 28 days holidays. In many jobs in the UK, you will have 30-40 days holidays (which includes 8 days of public holidays) so you could easily have a full time job and take 5 holidays a year if they are 1 week at a time. If you can take short notice holidays, then you could do it quite cheaply.
You cannot make any assumptions about any UK-based person's wealth or work based on holidays.
Didn't check where Habiby is from but I think its the UK

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5 public holidays between March and November???
Think I'm going to immigrate...lol
Serious, public holidays also are expensive holidays. Ticketprices are at least twice as much. But I think it has no use to filter details out.

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Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by Tigerlily:
Smuckers wrote:


"LAST WORD OF WARNING: if he disses Egyptian woman. Most serious and good men won't do this, others trying to convince you of why they don't want one will not. If he is dissin' Egyptian women in general remember is mother, sister(s), aunt(s) and grandmother(s) are Egyptian, why does he want you to think so badly of the women here if for anything other than his own gain?"


Because Egyptian women are headaches? I heard that too many times from guys!!

Then again it's sad that foreign women are many times too flirty!!!

I think everyone should go after the person he/she thinks would suit best in life/lifestyle. Unfortunately for many Egyptian men it's not an easy task to do due to traditional customs. Guys are still told by their families to marry a good Muslim woman and stay away from tha khawagas.

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Of course Egyptian women are headaches.
Many of us know their rights...and demand them lol
Can you imagine the headache this gives to someone who tries to 'escape' from his responsibilities??

Posts: 919 | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged |