-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: smucks, Now I live here I see MANY MANY Muslims, but very very little ISLAM. I didnt have to go overseas to find a husband, I had heaps of offers in my own country from men younger, older and my own age, they just weren't 'right'. I asked Allah for a particular type of man and found him in Egypt, he just happened to be younger which was not something I had asked for.
You are right in that the tradition here determines what they take as Islam, most dont know there is a difference and carry on age old traditions that are nothing to do with Islam at all, like FGM.
The example of the prophet in marrying all these different types of woman should be used exactly as an example that its ok to marry older, younger, non-virgins, widows etc. but then there are those who will pick out the hadith about marrying virgins being better, like sands did. This is totally opposite of what we know about him and his devotion to khadijah, he never married another woman while she was alive because he loved her even though she was 15 years older than him.
As for using the orfi thing in connection to the prophet hibbah, tell me exactly HOW people in those times actually married. Did they go to the embassy? did they go to a civil court? No, they made a committment to each other in front of witnesses and that was it, married.
Yes but it was also a different time back then. I doubt people were orfi'ing back then to shack up in tents for the night.
Many overseas are pushed to find good Muslim husbands overseas because the 'right' ones in their own countries are either too far between (i.e. the women live in rural areas) or the men are simply not marrying them either out of pressure from families to marry from the old country or out of fear that she isn't a born muslim. Not sure what that means, perhaps many think that born muslims are 'easier' (they know the history/traditions/practices easier). But I disagree, what they get in benefits from teaching and helping converts must be beyond this world~
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
After a certain age, our souls need to rest. I mean if you get married with a very young man or woman, you will always feel yourself under pressure to keep him/her under your control. You will feel restless with the looks of other people when they learn you are husband&wife. Or when your couple looks a young one... Does love worth to it? No....
Posts: 2591 | From: **Ex Oriente Lux** | Registered: Jan 2007
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers:
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: smucks, Now I live here I see MANY MANY Muslims, but very very little ISLAM. I didnt have to go overseas to find a husband, I had heaps of offers in my own country from men younger, older and my own age, they just weren't 'right'. I asked Allah for a particular type of man and found him in Egypt, he just happened to be younger which was not something I had asked for.
You are right in that the tradition here determines what they take as Islam, most dont know there is a difference and carry on age old traditions that are nothing to do with Islam at all, like FGM.
The example of the prophet in marrying all these different types of woman should be used exactly as an example that its ok to marry older, younger, non-virgins, widows etc. but then there are those who will pick out the hadith about marrying virgins being better, like sands did. This is totally opposite of what we know about him and his devotion to khadijah, he never married another woman while she was alive because he loved her even though she was 15 years older than him.
As for using the orfi thing in connection to the prophet hibbah, tell me exactly HOW people in those times actually married. Did they go to the embassy? did they go to a civil court? No, they made a committment to each other in front of witnesses and that was it, married.
Yes but it was also a different time back then. I doubt people were orfi'ing back then to shack up in tents for the night.
Yes they were smucks, they called it Muta' back then, temporary marriage Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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im 27 and because i liked to do my own thing and not deal with my hubbys business, he left. )among other bulsshit) and he was 28 at the time and got with a 46 yr old woman...a very ugly one at that too! well, he got her to wuit her job and work for h im 12 hrs a day and 7 days a week. haha on her cuz im having a great life! anyway, after he saw how good i made myself after i got rid of his stupid ass, he slowly trying to crawl his way back into my life. now he telling me to come to egypt with him... his brother was 22 when he married a 37 yr old woman and let me tell you what i see him do behind her back. they need a mommie figure thats all it is.
Posts: 2757 | From: YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW, THERE IS SO MUCH MORE YOU JUST DONT KNOW | Registered: Oct 2007
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I think it has to do the persons involved. I also think you have to be pretty confident to go out with a much younger guy. I have known many women who have drove themselves crazy wondering if and when their hubbys were going to run off with a younger model, some did some didn't.
I think it can work and as you see Deb on the responces above but it all depends on the man (and woman).
With ANY man you have to trust your gut instincts!
In my relationship my hubby is always quick to point out i am older (by 6 months ) but i had different reasons put to me about our relationship, religion, culture etc. It has worked to date (thank god) but as in any relationship you have to work hard at it. For me personally i could not be with a younger guy because i am not very confident and would drive him and myself insane even if he were not doing anything bad.
You do your own thing Deb and good luck to you!
Posts: 895 | Registered: Sep 2007
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quote:Originally posted by happybunny: Where has Deb gone?
I think she was more hoping to receive PMs anyway and to privately chat with others.
Debs if you still out there: Take all our replies to heart, perhaps read more on this forum and ONLY you can finally decide if you want to pursue this relationship farther or not. Good luck with whatever way you choose and perhaps you prove some of us wrong - me included. All the best.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
OK... i quote the follwoing from my answer to that fella in Alex who is looking for a foreign female friend..
for those who think that all Egyptian men are this bad...either in this thread or another one i was viewing the other day..i tell them...
I am married to a wonderful lady..she is not an Egyptian... we met abroad..while i was studying...she is the light of my eyes.. and everything for me.. she decided to come and live in Egypt..just couple of years ago..and i loved the idea ..specially when our kids need to be close to their roots . I never used her money.. loool she is using my money.. she is crazy money spender also specially shoes and watches but seriously she doesn`t abuse my generousity .
i never hurt her or abused her physically...mentally or emotionally.. and i never forced her to convert to Islam..she did that even before i knew her..and she decided to wear Hijab on her own before going to Mecca together 5 years ago... our 2 lovely crazy hyper active boys age ( 7 and 4 ) are happy..and we are happy..enjoying what Allah gave to us of bounties... and yes...i am an Egyptian....and my wife is 4 years Older than me..i`m 36 now.. we share everything together... we eat together...we sleep at the same time...we go to work together as she is my office manager. we go to the club together..we play tennis together..even when i go to play futzal with my male buddies...she is there watching with our kids..we watch the same tv shows...same movies...we like the same food..we do the laudry together..garden our small backyard together.....we travel together everywhere...we don`t read the same books though.. !!
right now she is right next to me ... and she is laughing... she says that she hates the way i drive.. well..how come i never crashed my car once.. and she crashed hers 4 times already..?? loool
she is with me in all steps of my life since we got married 13 years ago....and all i hope is that she will be my partner in Heaven God willing .Posts: 151 | From: hidden somewhere | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by happybunny:
In my relationship my hubby is always quick to point out i am older (by 6 months ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ayisha quoted: HB how can you possibly expect that to last with such a massive age gap honestly some women never learn
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I know Ayisha, What am i to do when i am 65 he will only be .............. errrr 64 1/2 Posts: 895 | Registered: Sep 2007
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well all, would just like to thank you all for your contributions privately and publicly, I am just going out to order my zimmer frame,and get my lifetime supply of cocoa, then i should be able to settle into my old age comfortably lol, as most say i have to decide and find out for myself what life will be like with my toyboy, so i am just going to sit back take everything in my stride and live for today, as your a long time dead, and if i can go out on a high then all the better. Debs xx
Posts: 42 | From: UK | Registered: May 2006
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Sure debs, no harm in that, just keep your guard up. I think as long as you have no children in tow (or at home!) and you are both adults then just approach it from an ADULT point of view and don't get lost in mushy throw-away words. The greatest tool of the Egyptian man is his ability to sweet-talk....whether he is entirely honest about that is another thing.
Best of luck and represent the Western woman well! Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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zimmer frame Debs? Is it motorized?? I want one that does at least 100mph down the corniche, im going to age in style!!
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Hheheheheheh nice one Ayisha, me too, i feel the need for speed. i think them motorized ones are really great. me in one of those and my young hubby jogging next to me. i can picture it now. chuckle chuckle.
quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: Best of luck and represent the Western woman well!
Hard to accomplish sometimes if you actually just wanna get laid!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Debs forget the zimmer frame and go straight for the mobility scooter! we could have grand prix races the works! Instead of champagne to shake on the winners podium, we could have lucozade! Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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forget zimmer frame, forget mobility scooter, they have QUAD BIKES here!! Best fun I had in ages............................apart from last week when me, hubby and my friend went on a donkey ride around the west bank
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
I find it interesting how many women here are with men younger than them, it does seem more like the norm, which IS unusual - so whats the reason? Because even in the UK, mostly women are younger than their partners - USUALLY
My husband is older than me by five years, this works well for me, I dont think I could be with someone younger.
Am I the only one? Smuckers, you are younger than your husband aren't you?
posted
My Ami husband is 6 years and 7 months older than I am.
quote:Originally posted by Mrs: I find it interesting how many women here are with men younger than them, it does seem more like the norm, which IS unusual - so whats the reason? Because even in the UK, mostly women are younger than their partners - USUALLY
You know it's because middle-aged Egyptian men are off the market (meaning they are already married and have family). Most of the guys female tourists meet in Egyptian resorts are young in between 18 - 35 I would say. Many older women who fall in love with an Egyptian while on vacation are usually divorcees, have teenage/grown up kids, have a history already. These women are flattered to receive so much attention in Egypt what they normally would not find where they live.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: My Ami husband is 6 years and 7 months older than I am.
quote:Originally posted by Mrs: I find it interesting how many women here are with men younger than them, it does seem more like the norm, which IS unusual - so whats the reason? Because even in the UK, mostly women are younger than their partners - USUALLY
You know it's because middle-aged Egyptian men are off the market (meaning they are already married and have family). Most of the guys female tourists meet in Egyptian resorts are young in between 18 - 35 I would say. Many older women who fall in love with an Egyptian while on vacation are usually divorcees, have teenage/grown up kids, have a history already. These women are flattered to receive so much attention in Egypt what they normally would not find where they live.
Think you're observation is about right. It's also true, I think, unmarried or divorced middle-aged European men are less outgoing. So, for a middle-aged European woman it's not so easy to get aquainted the usual way with someone of about her own age.
From what I've heard an read, there's a lot of unemployment among the Egyptian youth. Even if they have a good education. Working in the tourist industry is a way out. But I don't think it's a kind of job you keep up with for long. I don't know if it's a co-incidence, but I've spoken a few tourist guides in their late thirties, early forties. They seemed a bit cynical and burned-out. Like: "Here I still am after all these years, wearing this stupid t-shirt my company ordered me to wear, smiling at stupid, bored tourists."
So it's likely the two kinds are bound to meet. The older female tourist and the young local.
Posts: 119 | From: Where ever I lay my head... | Registered: Feb 2008
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quote:Originally posted by of_gold: mmmmmmm I love happy stories. It gives me hope. Thanks so much for posting this BIC RUNGA ROXX.
PS. What is BIC RUNGA ROXX?
ok..you are welcome..life isn`t always so bright..there are always times when we need to stick to hopes of seeing light at the end of the tunnel...me and my wife thank god for what we have..and we thank you back...and.. try this...and tell me later if BIC RUNGA ROXX or not..
posted
WOW!!!! BIC RUNGA ROXX for sure You have excellent taste in music I am impressed...
Posts: 1797 | From: By my husband's side | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by advocate: BCR..that is a wonderful outline of your family life thank you for sharing
you are welcome..we both posted this in another thread.. not the same reponse i am afraid.. we were attacked ..and insulted.. anyway..ppl are different...it is a fact that we must accept.. Posts: 151 | From: hidden somewhere | Registered: Jan 2008
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quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by BIC RUNGA ROXX:
quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by advocate: BCR..that is a wonderful outline of your family life thank you for sharing --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BRB quoted:- you are welcome..we both posted this in another thread.. not the same reponse i am afraid..
we were attacked ..and insulted..
-----------------------------------------------
No BRB you were not attacked for sharing your love story, you were attacked for condeming Egyptains (women in particular). It was those comments I (and others) had a problem with not the fact that you have met a lovely lady and are happy.
Anyway you have apologised and i accept but please do not go on other threads and tell untruths
I just thought i would clarify Posts: 895 | Registered: Sep 2007
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quote:Originally posted by happybunny: No BRB you were not attacked for sharing your love story, you were attacked for condeming Egyptains (women in particular). It was those comments I (and others) had a problem with not the fact that you have met a lovely lady and are happy.
He did - on this thread? Where?? I think I am missing something here.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by happybunny: No tiger, on the thread just moved to Alex. Posted on the looking for friends forum!
you misunderstood it all happybunny... i attacked the wrong behaviour of bad Egyptian men..like yo ucall them VISA HUNTERS...and said..NOT ALL WOMAN ARE UGLY...do you want me to say that all Egyptian women are pretty for you to be satisfied..?? ain`t true you know..!! plus again i said that beauty is the beauty inside the person and the looks is what these sick visa hunters are illusioned with...looks of pretty women on TV..looks of green good life they watch on the Cenima screen.. for that the would do crazy things..but not all Egyptian men are Visa hunters...and not all western women are naiive to be fooled...and not all Egyptian women are ugly..and not all egyptian women are bi sexual...this is what i said... in a different way maybe this way i am understood..!! obviously there was a big misunderstanding... and i only appologized for not making my point clear... i didn`t attack no one...i didn`t use dirty language..i didn`t talk to anyone there without respect..i didn`t insult anyone either..
and again if you read there...someone was personally insulting my wife..he wasn`t critical of my ideas as much going personal...why didn`t you read that..?? or maybe you were reading parts ..and leaving other parts..???
we need a judge so i can defend myself and explain better.. Posts: 151 | From: hidden somewhere | Registered: Jan 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: Oh okay, I am gonna go and check it out!
i accept lily as a judge... if she says guilty as charged i will accept her verdict.. Posts: 151 | From: hidden somewhere | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
Did i use dirty language? did i insult you? No i just said your comments on women "so many" are ugly, brain free etc were wrong. That so many were gay, biosexual because they had more freedom that way.
The only reason i said anything here on this thread was because you were implying that people were angry and insulted you because of your beauiful relationship.
I did read all the posts thank you, and yes some where some harsh but i agreed with some like shar when she said instead of just critising do something to change it. Also if you hate it and have no egyptain friends why live there?
I am happy for you having a fantastic relationship and it is always positive when an Egyptain man comes on these boards and can give his views, i just felt you were harsh, you apologised, i accept but please don't think it was about your relationship, which made people react to you I am happy for you peace Posts: 895 | Registered: Sep 2007
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quote:Originally posted by happybunny: Did i use dirty language? did i insult you? No i just said your comments on women "so many" are ugly, brain free etc were wrong. That so many were gay, biosexual because they had more freedom that way.
The only reason i said anything here on this thread was because you were implying that people were angry and insulted you because of your beauiful relationship.
I did read all the posts thank you, and yes some where some harsh but i agreed with some like shar when she said instead of just critising do something to change it. Also if you hate it and have no egyptain friends why live there?
I am happy for you having a fantastic relationship and it is always positive when an Egyptain man comes on these boards and can give his views, i just felt you were harsh, you apologised, i accept but please don't think it was about your relationship, which made people react to you I am happy for you peace
no dear,it wasn`t you who used the dirty language and the insults.i`m the Mrs. , he`s out of the country in a business trip , so i`ll answer you , it was someone else who was spreading foul language and insults towards me .no idea why he was so angry ! we are trying our best to teach our kids the right things , and we hope that people in Egypt would change for the better , this country is so great but needs people who change things for the better.and we are here to make things right for us and for others around us, i`ve never seen anyone who loves his country more than him,should have seen him when we came here at the Airport,was a real scene thanks for the good feelings , happy that you are also a HAPPY BUNNY jenny
Posts: 151 | From: hidden somewhere | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
Hello. I am new here so please bare with me. Can anyone here tell me about the Sharm Gigolos I have heard about. Can anyone tell me how they aproach you, etc. ANY help would be greatly appreciated.
Posts: 1 | Registered: Mar 2008
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-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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Age is just a number. Older women with younger guys is the most successful relationship because older women can handle the relationship better than younger women and absorb any argument before it is developed to a fight and then divorce! These days most newly married couples in Egypt get a divorce in one year time! Isn't that sad! At the end its chemistry between two where honesty and understanding is the main reason for a successful relationship.
-------------------- forum sharameet we khawalat we el operator m3rseen Posts: 504 | Registered: Mar 2008
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Enjoy it as long as it lasts. I have enjoyed my relationship now for almost 7 years and still no end to be seen. Not many "normal" marriages last forever now a days either. When I got married to my exhusband I thought it would be forever but it wasn't. Here over 50% of the maariages end in divorce. So even if you marry a guy same age from your country and same social class it is no guarantee for the marriage to last. So 7 years of this older-younger marriage has been7 good years and I would not change any of the years. We have had our upps and downs I am hoping for some more happy years
Posts: 523 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
In the end, that's the only thing that counts: that both have a satisfactional relationship. No-one can guarantee a succes, and many factors play a role. People have to rely on their common sense in this, and have to keep in mind that, when there are reasons to doubt, usually your intuition doesn't warn in vain. When feelings are telling you there is something wrong, there IS something wrong! By him, or by yourself. Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
is how if you got another honest young guy in 25 old m whose able of working you very well? pls do there a foreign woman or egyptian searching for african came from france live actualy in cairo/haram .
are ready ???????????
Posts: 14 | Registered: Oct 2007
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