posted
Hello, Im to marry an Egyptian man next year when he finishes his studies. And we are going to be living in Cairo. I have yet to visit Egypt. so im wondering if anyone can give me some incite as to the differences in life between the United States and Egypt being a woman.
Posts: 6 | Registered: Mar 2009
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quote:Originally posted by MissSpring: Hello, Im to marry an Egyptian man next year when he finishes his studies. And we are going to be living in Cairo. I have yet to visit Egypt. so im wondering if anyone can give me some incite as to the differences in life between the United States and Egypt being a woman.
posted
Sorry to quick on the enter key.... Anyway I was about to say... I am sure that you will see Cairo will be completely different from US.. I would try and come for a visit 1st, its not everyones taste, and most people I know have to make some adjustment. It depends on where you will live in cairo. Transport, daily living, education, posting a letter, getting a stamp, food shopping etc... is totally differnet from US. I beleive that you should you visit 1st... everyone has different experiences and not all are bad...
Posts: 288 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I agree you should come for a visit before making such a huge decision. I know plenty of women from the States who like to visit ok but would NEVER live here. There are others of course who like it just fine. Come visit if you can, even if it's just for a week.
Posts: 1283 | From: Cairo | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Well thank you for the warning comentary i expect to have a different day to day life.. We are the same age 22..in fact only 6wks apart.hehe. He is working full-time while finishing his studies. he is saving money for us to go visit this winter as he said its the best time o year. and we are waiting till he gets a job and he saves enough money to get us a place to live.. as that is the culture right? he is mulsim. and i am chrsitian. He doesnt mind if i choose not to become Muslim. altho I have desided to dress as an Islam woman does becasue i fell its the respectful thing to do. He is not after my money as I dont have alot of it. and he doesnt want citizenship.. because he doesnt plan to stay in the states. He acctually would woould eventually like to find a job in the UK..and im American so that wont help him any.. And I dont plan to have children for a few years for many reason.. most of all I believe its good to get to know eachother for a while just us.. And I know its common to live with the family or near them. and i dont have a problem with it.... but he refuses to do it he said he didnt think where his family lives was enough for me. and he said they would be over alot and we would never be alone. So i know a little about the arabic culture. but im just wonder what to expect other then him and his Family.. common day to day life. good bad or other wise.. thank you for your help
Posts: 6 | Registered: Mar 2009
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Let me tell you my point of view... it always differs from most as I am here becasue I just want to be and not becasue of a man or work.. I actually really do just love the place. Always have.
Firstly, the language barrier can sometimes be a royal pain, but... there is always a way to communicate and I have such fun experimenting my pigeon arabic with pigeon english speakers. So, a hinderance can be fun.
The air quality here for me is a serious issue, I have been ill for 8 weeks with respitory probs... if you are susceptible to problems then forewarned is forearmed.
Jobs for native English speakers are ten a penny here, what area of Cairo will you be in? I know of many teaching jobs in Heliopolis for non qualified and qualified english speakers.
I personally moved here over a long transition, I took 12 months to set up a friend network here, I arranged a job 8 months before my arrival and I have oodles of knowledge of the culture etc as I first lived here 15 years ago... nothing shocks me. If you are new to town, perhaps you should talk in PM's to us folk who live here to see what in reality is the good and bad. Remember, we all have different tolerance levels towards change.
On the plus side... I love Egyptian people. I am treated with respect and I am never harrassed or bothered in the street. I have befriended numerous Egyptian friends and they have hearts of gold and they look out for me. I am not a rarity as I know of dozens of women here who have had no issues. I know some women have issues... maybe you should revise respectful dress codes and hints and tips on how to avoid some issues. For eg. wearing sunnies to avoid eye contact is a simple yet useful tip. I think I avoid problems as I walk around speaking as much arabic as I can and I always smile and say hello to folk, my boldness I know is a good protector.
Family life. All Egyptian families like those in the USA can differ, I know some very strict families and I know some very liberal (not just the young men, their parents also) so unlike others on here I will not tell you how it will be, I think you will not know how the land lies until you are here. Even then the goalposts may move with familiarity. Some women on here have experienced how their guys and his family try to change them over time...
Finally, and this I think is important... if you come here with no intention, to adapt, immerse in society or accept that you cannot change a culture to suit you then you will be very unhappy.
If you can accept you are a foreigner in their country and are willing to accept things run differently then life here can be wonderful.
I love to immerse in society and I have 100% fun daily... I socialise with frieds, I party and I love having conversations into the night about how we are all different yet the same. My opinions are pushed aside on this forum as I don't believe that Egypt is an oppresive Islamic state where the concept of fun is a mystery... I like to party and I party with Egyptians
I am often told I have no right voicing this as it is not a common view... load of rubbish! There is a massive social scene here, it just cannot be seen from a computer desk in Europe or America.
If I can help you in anyway please PM me... Moving from your homeland is as easy or as difficult as you want it to be...
I do suggest you chat with folk who live here to get a realistic perspective of how life really is on a day to day basis.
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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I tire of all the negative comments about the country I live in and love.
I am a positve person and strongly believe that life is what you make it. Sure, if you look for problems you will find them but you have to remember, they are not problems to Egyptians but a way of life.
If you are constantly moaning about what Egyptians see as the norm you will soon be home with your tail between your legs. You live life in Egypt as those around you.
When the Polish all started to flee to the UK, the British citizens EXPECTED them to live within their society as they do.
When in Rome.
Sure I have days I want to pull my hair out... sometimes I think logic and reason are a mystery to my friends but I have to step back as I know they see my logic and reason as a mystery. These differences are only an issue if you want to dictate to folk how to live in their own country! You meerly have to just go with the flow and stay chilled out
Thanks for your kind words, it is very rare my words are taken seriously. Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Lady Ferret: When the Polish all started to flee to the UK, the British citizens EXPECTED them to live within their society as they do.
When in Rome.
I spent several years in the UK and I still visit the country on a regular basis as I have family there. The biggest advantage of the whole British experience for me is I now CAN understand what your sitcoms are about - I mean the British sense of humour!! Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
Did you go there with an intention to change a culture and to bad mouth the locals becasue they thought differently to you? I guess not which is why you were welcomed
The polish in my town went there and got jobs and immersed... they are more than welcome.
Some were rude and talked of visas they were not so welcome
How does the British sense of humour differ from say US or Poland?
I think folk who do;t like their lives should meerly change them rather than sit and whine about it Life is no rehearsal and we all create our own destiny...
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Lady Ferret: Did you go there with an intention to change a culture and to bad mouth the locals becasue they thought differently to you? I guess not which is why you were welcomed
The polish in my town went there and got jobs and immersed... they are more than welcome.
Some were rude and talked of visas they were not so welcome
How does the British sense of humour differ from say US or Poland?
I think folk who do;t like their lives should meerly change them rather than sit and whine about it Life is no rehearsal and we all create our own destiny...
here here.. and as for the eglish humor.. i dont get it... i watched a few shows on bbc channel and i didnt get the humor.. now mr bean is funny..
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
I agree that one has to adapt when deciding to live in a different country - at least to some extent. What I found hard at first in Britain (I visited first in 1987) was the class system - mind you I come from a country where all people were supposed to be equal for 50 years after the war!
I've noticed folk sometimes like to live in small communities when living abroad, like Indian, Polish, Irish - they might like to cling to the familiar perhaps ? Full adapting takes one or two generations, imo.
Oh, and Polish sense of humour is often geared towards politics or its absurdity, should I say!
And I wish MissSpring best of luck! Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
I like America humour as I long their near to the knuckle innuendos. Family Guy is one of my fave shows
I don't know any polish comidians but I do like political humour.
I cling to the ritish Community at times as I do like my familiarity... traditions such as Christmas, Easter and Paddy's day need to be celebrated with like minded folk.
I too wish Miss Spring the best of luck.. it really is no big deal moving away. IMO Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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posted
The best piece of advise I can give you is learn to speak arabic. Pimsular arabic CDs you can buy on the net are pretty good. Its a hard language but you will be more independent when you can at least speak some. People, and in particular his family will love you for this. Also, you will feel less helpless at times. Try to not compare everything to your home. Believe me pretty much everything is different. The advice about the pollution is important. I did feel tight chested after being in Cairo only for a few days holiday. I live in ALexandria now.
Give yourself time and expect to have good and bad days and tell youself this is normal and any bad days will pass. There are lots of expat places I believe and a club with monthly magazine the BCA. Their web site is www.bcaegypt.com and they have a big social calendar for expats. you can contact Derek Robins for your own BCA email account t get up to date news. derek@bcaegypt.com Like I say I don't live in Cairo but believe this may be good. Good Luck
Posts: 233 | From: uk | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Great advise Audrey H... I used Pimsleur for a few months before I came here and it has proven invaluable. I have this in MP3 format if anybody wishes to use it for free
The BCA mag is very good for social events and articles about how to survive in Cairo.. it is a good mag. I love my local BCA club... I love to go play pool and darts and above all watch football and rugby! I have met so many fabulous people. We also go bowling and for curry nights and there is a coffee morning every Wednesday for women only...
I get out of Cairo a fair bit to the coast to give my health a chance... Viruses are rife here as there is no cold snaps to kill them off! I seem to be catching all and sundry, there again I have kids sneezing in my mouth at random given moments!!! bless em!
Another good point you made AH was about not comparing everything to 'back home' ... this will drive you insane. You simply have to adapt.
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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posted
Yes, good point about NOT comparing - especially salaries (in relation to currency). What you can get by in one country is most probably quite different from another!!
Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Lady Ferret: Great advise Audrey H... I used Pimsleur for a few months before I came here and it has proven invaluable. I have this in MP3 format if anybody wishes to use it for free
ME ME ME!!! Waving madly at LF Posts: 3945 | From: ' Res Contr ' Amor non es guirens, lai on sos poders s'atura | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
Oh sure Dude, I will zap it over to you now. It really is very good.
Cost of living here is way better for me, I can actually afford to live in this country!!! I compare salries and although they are lower the cash still goes further...
Sometimes comparng can be a good thing... for eg. the weather!!! Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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posted
Your question asks about about the differences between USA and Egypt as a woman. I would say providing you are not marrying a Neanderthal man then there is little difference in everyday life. I.e you can work, shop, travel, run a home, have a social life in just the same way you would in the USA. The only main difference is everything you try to do daily takes longer and you need an awful lot of patience. You do get used to this eventually once you realise getting steamed up about things won't make them happen any faster. You have already said you intend to dress 'Islamically' but it only needs to be conservatively. There is no need to wear a scarf if you are not muslim, in fact I dont understand why anyone would if they are not muslim. My Egyptian Christian friends certainly do not.
Just make sure your fiance is in agreement with all this otherwise if you are thinking to change yourself 100% as a person then in the long run it won't work and you won't be happy. Sounds like he is there studying in the USA so he should at least have a good understanding of your normal way of life and the onus should be on him to help you adapt and find your way around so you can learn to be independant of him..safely.
Would totally agree with the other ladies that learning arabic is a must and will completely change the way people treat you...so make the most of your time to start on this before you visit.
LF made some great points about accepting the country as it is which is ok but on issues that are just so dam dangerous and threaten my own safety I still find this hard. The roads and driving are crazy and there are way too many awful unnecessary accidents.
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Lady Ferret: My opinions are pushed aside on this forum as I don't believe that Egypt is an oppresive Islamic state where the concept of fun is a mystery... I like to party and I party with Egyptians
I am often told I have no right voicing this as it is not a common view... load of rubbish! There is a massive social scene here, it just cannot be seen from a computer desk in Europe or America.
Hey LF - I don't believe Egypt is an oppresive Islamic state either. However, if you come here expecting it is it can easily turn into one.
And speaking of parties...why wasn't I invited to your birthday bash?
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Lady Ferret: I did put in Happy People I would be having a bash... !!!
You can come party with me anytime chica We don't need a reason...
I need a trip over to you at some point!!!
How do you like living in Egypt? Do you find it hard work?
I'm so sorry...I did not see the happy people post since I am not on here all that often Surely we would have tried to make it to your party otherwise.
Next Friday will be my one year anniversary. Maybe you can come to Maadi again like you did on the night of our wedding. But this time without all the difficulty.
How do I like living in Egypt? I think the answer is bound to change depending on what kind of mood I'm in. I find myself feeling very homesick these days, but sitting out on the roof with a cup of coffee in the mornings, with the sunshine and beautiful weather - I feel pretty damn lucky to be here.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
thank you so much for the wonderfull advise!! much more positive then i was expecting..hehe from what i read on other topics!!. I started learning Arabic be for i met him and he is continuing to help me. He has given me the pemsuler egyptian Arabc CDs so it is useful. I struggle with a few of the letters tat dont completely relate but i will pick it up as i go. Im excited to live as the Egyptians because I realize I am the new one in town..and would never expect them to change to suit me.. so I can teach english even if i dont know Arabic very well? that would be awsome..Well his Family lives in North Cairo between the Albasuar district(i cant remember the spelling) and the Elmarg district. but he doesnt want me living there... said it would be fine for him but not for me.. I just think as long as we have eachother the rest is just extra.. any advise on getting the marriage approved? I have read its almost impossible for an American to marry in Egypt.
Posts: 6 | Registered: Mar 2009
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posted
No. It is not impossible to get married in Egypt. It is very easy. I just sent you a private message. Please contact me.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
Ministry of Commonsense is an American in Egypt... PM her for advise on Americans in Cairo.. I am sure she will have some fantastic advice for you. I have never married so I would just be relying on google and not experience
I teach English in Egypt and I can guarantee you that work is in abundance for English speakers, your skills are invaluable and tbh, my arabic gets better every day as I learn from the kids
This site is very negative towards Egypt and Egyptians.. however most folk don't live here so ignore them! Times they are a changing
My only advise is, we are all different and what floats some boats doesn't float others. You may love it or hate but you really must make that decision based upon fact and not from anyone on here. I am delighted with my life but I also know of some who found moving difficult. We are not clones and I do believe you should try first hand.
Your arabic will improve... I assure you.
I like how you are looking into a move... very wise Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by MissSpring: but he refuses to do it he said he didnt think where his family lives was enough for me. and he said they would be over alot and we would never be alone.
That is true,,Not all families like that sure but the common actions would be like that toward their sons/daughters & their parnters..
They sure dont wanna spoil their kids marriage lives,,But they could spoil it while thinking they building/fixing it.
So making you to live in different place but still visiting them etc will save you bboth from great great headaches which might affect your life negatively IMO.
Wish for you the best. Posts: 712 | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
Ah HP.. she is a lovely lass I have known a long time... she really helped my move here to be so much easier I met her before we discovered ES...
She is not a troll!
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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I think it is funny how some folk have all other folks life sussed... the amount of times my life has been posted and it is so far fetched it could be a film!!!
There are so many frigging know it alls who know nothing part of the reason I come back.. it is healthy to laugh daily
HP... I don't think you could be rude if you tried!
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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You should know by now "EVERYONE knows MORE than you!" now repeat after me ......
The Cairo you talk about is the Cairo i experienced nearly 15 years ago, that why i like the way you say things Posts: 895 | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
We were here the same time then so hopefully you can understand when I mention how things were and are Times have changed SO much and back then I did find Egypt quite hard work but now it is no different from any other city in the World...
I am an honest little ferret, I don't believe in kissing ones ass to gain popularity points
Be careful about being too much a happy bunny, happy people piss folk off so very easily!!!
HP, 15 years ago I met friends who are still solid as a rock...
EVERYBODY knows MORE than you Good repetition?
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Lady Ferret: Ah HP.. she is a lovely lass I have known a long time... she really helped my move here to be so much easier I met her before we discovered ES...
She is not a troll!
Thanks sweetie! I don't know why everyone thinks I am someone else around here! They might be disappointed to know my life is not all that interesting or exciting as they are making it out to be.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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